Chapter Five
I pull up to the Salvatore boardinghouse, nervously chewing on a cracker. In the cup holder, there is an untouched bottle of ginger ale that my friends have graciously provided for me. It has been another week of morning sickness and extreme fatigue. I've already been chided several times for losing so much weight, but I can't help that everything smells like garbage to me, and my stomach is at war with everything I put in it. Last week, I had attempted to look for my bracelet that I had left at my birthday party-a whopping one month ago! That means that I'm around one month into my pregnancy. I have never been more tired in my life, and I need two naps to just get through the day. Thankfully, I'm still not showing, so the pregnancy has been pretty easy to hide-except for the daily runs to the bathroom to puke during first period and the occasional dizzy spells, which has Caroline and Bonnie shadowing me like two relentless hound dogs.
Slowly, so I don't topple over, I rise out of my seat and stride towards the boardinghouse with purpose. I'm just going to explain to Damon that I was being extra hormonal that day and to ignore our fight last week. With amusement, I note that the door is slightly open, so I go inside without an invitation. It would be even better if I could finally find that stupid bracelet without Damon being in the house. Preferably, if Damon would just go away for nine months, that would be even better. I have no idea how I would begin to explain the situation to him-let alone tell him that he is the father of my unborn child.
Seeing that no one is the room, I drop my bag on the couch and begin methodically checking the cushions again. With a huff of irritation, I realize that the bracelet is not actually in the front room at all. I suddenly remember that I took it off in Stefan's room right before I left for home with Bonnie. I turn and bound up the stairs, barreling into Stefan's room. My eyes zoom straight onto the lost trinket on the untouched bed sheets. Unwillingly, my eyes well up with tears at the precariousness of my current situation. My boyfriend is gone, possibly forever. I'm pregnant and an orphan. I'm in high school and have no way to support this baby if I keep it. I'm alone.
My chest shakes with a sob as I lightly touch the precious gold bracelet given to me by Stefan and then lift it to my lips for a soft kiss. This turn of events has already changed me so much, and I almost feel like I am letting Stefan go in some ways. It is just not feasible to have a baby when a blood-addict and serial killer is running around. My stomach churns when I picture my precious infant in Stefan's arms, his fangs extended and eyes glowing evilly.
"You found it," I hear from the open doorway.
Not surprisingly-it's Damon. Strangely, he seems to look at me with a pitying, wistful gaze, and it makes my eyes swell even more. Hastily, I wipe away the tears and chuckle.
"Yeah, sorry. I totally forgot it was up here," I excuse, lifting myself up from the bed and awkwardly standing in front of Damon, not meeting his eyes.
"Still sick?" He asks reluctantly, no doubt convinced that I'm about to go off on him like last time.
I slowly plod over to the door and raise a brow so Damon will step out of my way. He does, but not without throwing me a concerned look.
"Uh...it comes and goes," I sigh, knowing I still have awhile until my morning sickness clears up, according to Dr. Fell.
"Okay, well...is there some way I can help? Like get you soup or something?" Damon asks with a barely veiled grimace and a tight smile, and I have to stop myself from laughing.
It is a funny situation: Damon helping me with something as mundane as giving me soup when I'm sick.
"I'll be okay, thank you," I tell him and touch his arm in a comforting manner.
When my hands touch him, however, my whole body feels like it is buzzing all over. My stomach is doing flips, and I feel my heart race. Unconsciously, my eyes fly up to meet his, and we share a burning stare for an unknowable amount of time. I can't believe it, but I want him again. I thought that being with him in my dream, er, I mean, in 1864, would cure me of these feelings, but if anything, I've become hungrier for him...and hungrier in general. Much to my embarrassment, my stomach growls loudly, and I suddenly feel ravenous for the first time since I started experiencing morning sickness.
"Let me feed you, at least," He murmurs, putting his hand on the small of my back and making me jump.
"O-okay," I stutter nervously and walk with him to the kitchen.
Soon, Damon is cooking me a delicious pasta salad, and I cannot stop eating it. Briefly, I pause between spoonfuls to check that I won't immediately throw it up, but it all seems to be settling well. I had no idea I was this hungry. Damon watches me while I polish off the entire meal, and before he can stop me, I hop off the stool and head to the cabinet to grab a glass of water.
"Wait-," He warns, but I've already opened the cabinet, and one of the glasses immediately catches my attention.
Slowly, as if in a dream, I reach to the back of the cabinet and pull out a familiar-looking object. I turn it over in my hands gingerly, tracing the etchings with my thumbs. When I look up, Damon is staring at me warily, waiting for me to react.
"This glass...I left it with you," I tell him softly, placing the glass on the counter to show him.
"Yes," He answers tersely.
"In 1864," I continue, looking at the glass and then reluctantly pull my gaze away to look at Damon.
"Yes," He whispers, refusing to break eye-contact with me.
I pause and bite my lip, wishing I could somehow just run out of the house, but obviously Damon is much faster than me.
"You knew the whole time?" I remark sadly, looking down at the ground in regret.
I feel so sorry for him now that I've been illuminated about his feelings-first by Isabel and then when I kissed him on his deathbed. This is not the way I wanted him to find out that I knew. Things had now gotten much more complicated. My head is bowed as I watch his feet walk tentatively towards me. When I feel his finger on my chin, I don't fight him, and I lift my face up without hesitation. Tears slip down my cheeks, and Damon quickly flicks them away with a soft smile.
"I've been waiting...all this time," He murmurs, bringing his face closer to mine.
He scans my face for any protest, and when he finds none, our lips very chastely meet before separating. However, once I've gotten a taste for him, I need more. I slide my arm up his bicep and bring my hand to the back of his neck, guiding him back to me. Our eyes close in pleasure as we kiss and kiss again. I melt into him, and his hands slide up my back, holding me close to him. I can't help the moan that escapes my throat when his tongue strokes mine in a sensual rhythm. The sounds I make cause him to clutch me harder, and it makes me more desperate to get closer, even though we are pressed impossibly close already.
"Elena," He gasps in reverence once we separate so I can breathe.
My stomach flips-but not with sickness; it is going wild with anticipation, and I suddenly feel like the temperature in the room has sky-rocketed. I lean back into him with my face turned up in offering when my phone rings, tearing us out of our lustful haze. Immediately, I feel intense embarrassment and turn away, scrambling to get my phone from my purse. It falls to the floor, but I do not try to pick it up as I rush out of the room to answer whomever is calling me.
"Elena?" I hear once I pick up.
It's Caroline.
"Yeah? I'm here, sorry," I answer breathlessly, hoping she won't notice how flustered I am.
"Am I...interrupting something?" She asks, and I can picture her smirk through the phone.
"No, no...I'm just getting my bracelet...from the boardinghouse," I add and then cringe at the revealed information.
"Oh? So you were hanging out with Damon?" Caroline inquires innocently, but I know better.
She's snooping, but I refuse to educate her on the Pandora's box that I have just opened in the kitchen.
"Look, I have to go. I'm heading home now if you want to come over," I offer, hoping it will distract her enough to leave this subject alone.
"Sure, sure. You can tell me about it tonight," She snickers before I hang up.
Once the phone call has been ended, I rub my face in frustration. That was a close call. Now I just need an excuse for why I sounded so...ruffled when I answered the phone. I sigh and walk towards the kitchen. When I enter, I see Damon holding something, turned away from me with his shoulders tensed. Oh no. That's his mad and broody pose. Something is wrong.
"Damon?" I ask quietly, stepping towards him.
That's when I see him standing over my purse-the contents of which have spilled onto the floor, and he's holding...my prenatal vitamins.
"Oh, shit," I inhale, rushing to grab them from his hands.
This was DEFINITELY not how I wanted to tell Damon about this. He turns and swats me away like a fly, shaking the prescription bottle menacingly. He looks up with a withering, quietly enraged look, and chills go down my spine.
"They're not mine?" I attempt to explain, but Damon's horrible expression shuts me up.
He slowly turns the bottle so I see who it is prescribed to: Elena Gilbert via Doctor Fell.
"This has...been the most beyond stupid thing you have ever done," He begins, flaring his nostrils, and I immediately start to cry.
It almost reminds me of how my dad would have reacted if he were alive and I were pregnant in high school. The thought hurts my heart, and the tears fall harder until I am crying earnestly, arms wrapping around myself.
"It was an accident. You don't understand-," I try to tell him, but he cuts me off again, walking straight up to me until my chest is almost against his.
He's so scary when he's standing over me like this. Still, I stupidly reach for the bottle again, and his hand overlaps on mine, holding me close, but not in a loving way.
"I'm sorry," I barely manage to whisper between sobs.
As my survival instincts kick in, I begin to wildly struggle against his hold yet not letting go of the bottle. I need them for my baby. I'm not leaving this house without them.
"Damon! Let go," I scream, pulling away with all my weight.
When he lets go, I fall straight on my ass, and the cap of the pill bottle comes with me, scattering all the prenatal vitamins to the kitchen floor. Wordlessly, I look up at him with a horrified expression. He merely shakes his head before crouching down to stare into my eyes.
"Do you have any idea how hard it has been to just keep you alive? And now you expect me to protect some random jock's baby because you couldn't keep your legs closed? What if Klaus hears about another doppelganger offspring? Honestly, do you think at all?" Damon seethes, leaning closer into me, but I refuse to reel back in fear.
He doesn't know it, but it's his baby, and I still wouldn't change anything-no matter what Klaus might know. I'm the mother, therefore it is my choice, and it is my duty to protect this child, even if the father does not want it, but in that moment, I decide that I want to keep it. It was created from love, and I already find myself attached. Life is so beautiful, and after everything I've been through, I need more joy and awe in my life. It's a chance to start over and to be loved unconditionally-and to love unconditionally.
"Fuck you," I hiss at him, which makes him blink his eyes at me in surprise and lean back.
He makes a disgusted noise from his throat before walking past me, and when I hear the door slam, I know that he has left the house. I quietly cry as I gather up all my prenatal vitamins from the floor and gingerly return them to the bottle as if they are precious gems. Grabbing the counter for support, I pull myself up and begin collecting all the objects that had fallen out of my purse. Like Damon did before, I flick away the continuous stream of tears and quickly make my way to the driveway before departing the property in my car.