Guilt and Gunpowder

Bruce watched anxiously as Ecco led Jerome outside at gunpoint. He had no idea what she might do. And with the city fallen and evacuated, there was no law to punish her if she decided to take a lethal course of action. He noticed Jeremiah watching him watch Jerome. It was unsettling to begin with, and coupled with Jeremiah's wild eyes, it was downright disturbing.

He decided to be blunt. "What do you want from me?"

Jeremiah was silent for a moment. And then, "I want to understand what caused you to hate me. And when, exactly. Was it because of how I looked? Or what I spoke of? Perhaps you hadn't liked me all along, yet pitied me enough to grant me the honor of your presence."

Honesty seemed best in this situation. "I don't care about any of the materialistic aspects. But the moment you threatened my home, you threatened me. And I can't stand for that. I'd do anything for Gotham. And you've destroyed it."

"Well, technically the city remains mostly intact. It's really the bridges that suffered the brunt of the blows. But, I do understand where you're coming from. The problem is, you refuse to even view my standpoint on things. I continue to give you endless support and understanding, and yet you can't reciprocate any of it in the slightest. It's disheartening, really. But I'll continue to do so because I care about you, Bruce. And you don't have to return that unconditionality. Just know that I'll always give it to you." Jeremiah's words stung and he somehow felt ashamed. Maybe he hadn't been fair to him. "I want to do this in the best way possible, Bruce. And for that to work, I need you. Together, we could rebuild Gotham how it was intended to be. A capitol worthy of endless praise and envy. A place where everyone has a job, a home, and loved ones, and the streets aren't rampant with drugs and crime. Your city shining as brightly as it possibly can." He was compelling. Bruce began to imagine the scenario Jeremiah was describing. It was truly everything he wanted. And if anyone could deliver on that promise, it was him. He knew that Jeremiah was intelligent and strict enough to ensure every order he put into effect worked perfectly, producing flawless results. And that's what Gotham needed. Structure and care.

"What would I need to do?" Bruce finally asked.

"I need your input, of course. You know and love this city more than anyone. And, I must admit that I enjoy your company. You'd make the process fly by much faster." He was flattered that Jeremiah thought so highly of him. "So, what do you think?" His pale hands gripped his mug tightly as he asked the question.

"I want to help you," Bruce decided. Jeremiah looked pleased.

"Thank you, Bruce. Once again, you've done something that I'll forever be unable to explain just how much it means to me. You're so incredibly selfless."

Bruce was blushing under his praise. "I'm not selfless. I just care about Gotham, and your plans for it." Jeremiah was looking at him intensely now.

"I admire your faith. That's always something I wish I had more of, if I'm being honest with you."

Bruce laughed lightly. "Well, I probably have enough for both of us. And I'd hope you're always honest with me."

Jeremiah had set down his cup of coffee. "I believe in telling both necessary truths and necessary lies. The truth is useful in manipulation whereas lies are much easier to tell to save someone from themself. Interesting, isn't it? You'd think it would be reversed, with how much any common person preaches honesty. And yet, lies save more lives. It took me a very long time to realize that. But, my life changed dramatically when I did."

He was intrigued. "Tell me other things you've learned that stand out to you."

"Alright." The boy took a moment to think. "Companionship is fickle; it falls and fluctuates and more often than not, it's common to find yourself feeling utterly alone in a room full of people. The key is to not let it discourage you. Someday, you'll find someone that you want by your side forever. It doesn't matter through what relationship. Be it love, friendship, or even hatred, you've become dependent on this person's existence. You need them to fulfill your life's goals."

Bruce was curious. "Is Ecco that person for you?"

"No. However much I do care about her, it wouldn't be detrimental to me if she were to disappear. I can function without her. She is, after all, just a glorified assistant. Just one that I've grown fond of."

"Then have you found that person yet?" Bruce's heart was beating more quickly now.

Jeremiah gazed at him for a minute. "Perhaps. I'll admit, my goals would be incredibly difficult to carry out without this person. And, I value their companionship immensely."

"Interesting," Bruce said. "Any other life-saving pieces of advice?"

Jeremiah didn't hesitate to think this time. "Anyone who promises you unbreakable protection is just trying to gain your trust. If someone truly loved you, they wouldn't guarantee your safety. Instead, they'd promise to always be with you in case you were hurt." His piercing eyes were now focused on Bruce's. He seemed to be sitting much closer, all of a sudden. "I would always be there for you, Bruce, if you needed me."

His mind was racing. What did that mean? Was he trying to tell him that he...loved him? If so, it was very sudden. Then again, everything else that he'd done to get Bruce here seemed to suggest the same thing. "I-I don't quite...what are you trying to tell me?" he finally asked through his confusion.

"What do you want to hear?"

"I'm not sure." Distantly, Bruce could hear some commotion coming from outside, but he was having a difficult time registering it.

"Then perhaps words aren't the best course of action in this situation." A muffled shot sounded through the door, but Bruce didn't hear a thing as Jeremiah's hands covered his ears and he leaned in closer to him. His cherry red lips met Bruce's pale pink ones in a light but confident kiss. All of his worries from the night seemed to melt away. He was finally back with Jeremiah. That was all it took to make him forget the pain it caused him to get here. It didn't hold the same fire as Jerome's. Instead, it was calm and steady. He felt more grounded than he had in weeks. The kiss, along with Jeremiah's hands, held him in place. There was no fight for dominance. With him, Bruce felt secure. He let him direct his movements. Soon, Bruce's arms were wrapped around Jeremiah's waist, clinging to him tightly. His legs were now up on the table with the rest of his body. His hands trailed up Jeremiah's back to twine in his hair. He felt him turn his head to the side a bit, and suddenly the kiss deepened. The cool hands that had been resting on the sides of his head moved to his hips and gently lifted him, carrying Bruce onto Jeremiah. It was in that moment that he forgave him for everything. He could see it now, pressed against him, that all Jeremiah wanted was to give him the world he'd always dreamed of. He'd been selfish and immature about the entire thing. He had no idea how much time had passed. All that broke them apart was a shout from a few feet away.

"Let him go!" Jerome was standing in front of them. He had Ecco's silver handgun pointed at Jeremiah. He was shaking with fury. You're a fucking sadistic monster. I swear to god, I turn my back for five minutes and you've already manipulated him into taking you back. It's disgusting how easily you did it, and clearly without any remorse either."

Jeremiah allowed Bruce to turn to face Jerome, but kept a tight hold on him. "Once again, Jerome, you should let your objectively small brain catch up to your eager-to-fire hands. If Bruce didn't want to forgive me, he wouldn't have. He doesn't have a fragile mind. There's certainly enough resilience there if need-be. Therefore, this is clearly his choice."

For some reason, his words made Bruce angry. He pushed himself away from Jeremiah, and swung his legs off the table, now standing. "Would you let me speak for myself, please, and not determine what any of my 'choices' are?" Jeremiah said nothing and just waited for him to talk. He sighed. "Neither of you are right, as usual. Jeremiah didn't coerce me into kissing him and Jerome is just as intelligent as you, Jeremiah. All you two do is try and see the worst in each other. I can't explain how frustrating that is. You'd probably make one hell of a team if you could agree on something. Unfortunately, that seems impossible so instead I just get to sit here and watch you argue amongst yourselves for eternity. And to top it all off, thousands of people are dead because of both of your selfish actions. I'm going home to check on Alfred and make sure you weren't, in fact, lying to me. Then, I'm going to find James Gordon and offer my assistance to him. Everything after that is up in the air. Feel free to find me when you've both matured a bit."

He stalked out of the building, brushing roughly past Jerome, refusing to meet his eyes. The anger, frustration, and stress from the night boiled over as he sat in the driver's seat of his car. Bruce could feel warm wet tears streaking down his cheeks. He hated himself for each and every one of them that fell.

…

Bruce parked the car in the garage and entered quietly through the door that led into the laundry room. He crossed into the kitchen, where he was surprised to see Selina Kyle sitting, picking at a plate of food. Then he remembered his last conversation with Alfred.

"Selina! Did Alfred bring you here?" He was thrilled to see her, especially after this hectic week.

"Yes, kicking and screaming," a calm voice interjected. Alfred walked through the doorway that led to the foyer. Bruce was overjoyed to see him. He raced over to his butler and gave him a tight hug. He was safe.

"My goodness, Master Bruce, it's only been a few hours. Are you alright?" He patted Bruce gently.

Bruce released him and looked at both of the people standing in his kitchen fondly. "Sorry, it's been a trying night. I'm home now though. Is there anyone else here?" He went to sit by Selina.

"Nah, Bridgit just kept insisting that she was with her rightful family and whatever. It was all bull, but she can probably take care of herself," Selina said. He didn't think she was as passive about it as she sounded, but he decided he wouldn't press it for now.

"Is she still with Scarecrow and Tetch?"

"Unfortunately. I wouldn't put it past Tetch to hypnotize her into hanging with them."

"What about Ivy?"

Selina looked at him like he was stupid. "Don't you remember? She went all crazy plant lady, got old, and tried to rob you."

He felt like an idiot. "Oh right. Sorry. The chaos of today made me think she was still a little kid."

Her gaze softened. "Are you doin' okay? You look a little shaken up." Alfred had left the room and they were alone.

"I mean, as okay as I can be, after seeing those bridges fall."

"Yeah, that was pretty horrible. All those people just falling to their deaths like that. Jeremiah Valeska must be even worse than his brother."

"He wants to create a better Gotham. One without poverty. That's why he did it."

"Sure, because that's a.) possible and b.) completely sane. Who cares if a few thousand people are plunged into icy water from a hundred feet up? Apparently, Jeremiah has a utopia to build." He started to interrupt but she pressed on. "And let's not forget, he plans on being in total control of this place. Bruce, you're defending a dictator."

He was affronted. "I wasn't defending him. I was just telling you how he was justifying it."

She looked at him incredulously. "How do you even know what he was thinking?"

He couldn't lie to her anymore. "I went to find him. Well, after I went to find his brother."

"Wait, you went looking for both Valeska brothers? Why?"

"Well I um...I went to release Jerome from the police department. He'd be a sitting duck there. Someone would've come by to finish him off, and I didn't want blood on anybody's hands. And I went to find Jeremiah because he left me a note telling me to. He...he said he had Alfred. That's why I was so happy to see him alive and safe."

"Oh my god, Bruce, I'm sorry. I didn't know tonight had been even harder for you. I would've tried to be more sensitive about it."

"No, that's why I like you, Selina. You'll always be honest with me and tell me when I'm screwing up. And I think I need you to do that now. I might be falling for one or both of the Valeskas."

A mix of emotions raced across her face. He could identify shock, confusion, and disappointment before they disappeared. "I uh...didn't know you swung that way."

He laughed. "What straight guy wears turtleneck sweaters everyday?" he asked to lighten the mood.

After recovering from her initial surprise, she laughed with him. "You're right, that should've been my cue. Not to mention the skinny jeans paired with those sweaters. That's much too trendy for a straight guy." After they stopped laughing, she asked "So, both of them huh? I didn't think they were that desirable. I mean, Jerome was kinda hot before the whole having-his-face-cut-off thing happened. But Jeremiah? He's sort of an asshole if you ask me. Not that Jerome isn't. He just seems like less of an asshole compared to his brother."

"Jerome's face is fine now that it's had time to heal. After Gotham General got a hold of him when he was done trying to drive the entire city insane, they worked some magic over the poor job Arkham did. Pretty much everything is intact now. That's not important though. Both of them have made it very clear that they uh...find me...intriguing."

She could read right through his statement. "Who have you been kissing?"

He looked slightly embarrassed. "Um, both of them."

"Dang, Bruce! I didn't know you were that much of a playboy. I dodged a bullet, jeez."

He began to laugh, then her words sunk in. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"Um, nothing. Anyway, why do you like them so much?"

"They're both very charming, for starters. And funny. You wouldn't guess it, but Jeremiah has a pretty good sense of humor too. It's just a little darker. And they both have dreams that would be really amazing to help fulfill. And...I guess…they both care about me a lot. I have no idea why, but they do."

Selina was looking at him, a slight smile on her face. "Boy, you're smitten. I'm going to ignore the fact that one's a spontaneous psychopath and the other one is a sociopathic dictator for now, because I'm guessing that's not what you want to hear. I guess my question is, who's going to treat you better in the long run?"

"I'm not sure. I'm sort of angry with both of them right now, since they're intolerable when they're together. Every time I'm with Jerome, it feels like I'm on some crazy whirlwind ride that I never want to stop. And when I'm with Jeremiah, I feel safer and more comforted than I've ever felt before. They really are polar opposites. Except that they're both extremely jealous all the time."

She patted him on the back. "I think you need some time to sit on it, Bruce. And I'll be here for you to run ideas past. Although, if we always have to talk about your guy problems, then I'm out. Deal?"

He smiled. "Deal. Thanks, Selina. You're the best. I'll check and make sure Alfred has your old room set up. Then I'm going to get some sleep. I have to meet with Jim in the morning."

"Okay, goodnight Bruce."

"Goodnight Selina. Sleep well." He stood up and walked upstairs, where he met Alfred making Selina's bed.

"Off to bed, Master Bruce?" he asked as he laid down sheets.

"Yep. I'll see you in the morning, Alfred. Thank you for letting Selina stay here again. Could you do me a favor, and leave Detective Gordon a voicemail telling him I'd like to see him tomorrow?"

"Of course, Master B. Get a good night's sleep. It's been an awfully long day."

"Thanks Alfred, and you should get some rest too. Goodnight." He left the room then and made his way to his own bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed in exhaustion, only taking time to remove his shoes before falling into the deepest sleep he'd had for days.

…

(Jerome's P.O.V.)

Jerome and Jeremiah were staring at each other in a tense, stony silence. He still had a tight grip on Ecco's handgun but it was now resting at his side. Bruce's abrupt departure had left them both speechless.

Finally, Jeremiah broke the silence. "If you're going to kill me, could you please do it now? I hate being kept waiting."

"I don't think you understand how badly I want to." And it was true. Jerome wanted nothing more than to pull the trigger. But he knew he couldn't.

"Why don't you then? You'd be the savior of Gotham."

"Because I'd rather not make an important enemy."

"You mean Bruce."

"No, I meant Santa. Yes, Bruce. That doesn't mean I'll hand it to you, though. I can't be sure you wouldn't use it. After all, he seems to excuse you for anything."

Jeremiah crossed his legs, saying smugly, "It's because he sees the good in me."

Jerome rolled his eyes. "Or, it's because you're a manipulative prick who guilt-tripped him into feeling bad for you."

His brother didn't say anything for awhile. And then, "Have you killed Ecco?"

"No. She thought it'd be more fun to try and strangle me after I made a comment about her resting bitch face, so I knocked her gun out of her hand and shot her in the foot. She needs medical treatment, but she's not dead."

Despite how heartless Jeremiah seemed, he looked genuinely relieved to hear she wasn't dead. It sort of made Jerome wish he'd splattered her brains on the pavement.

"Hey, I have a question. Why don't ya just bang her instead and leave little Brucie out of it?" Jerome asked innocently.

His brother looked offended. "First of all, I've never pursued Bruce for physical pleasure. Secondly, I don't like Ecco that way. Her and I are partners, yes, but not in a romantic sense."

"You making out with him on that table sort of disproves the first statement."

Jeremiah straightened his suit. "Well, that was simply a perk. I like Bruce for his mind; the way he thinks is fascinating and certainly attractive. But, I needed to distract him as well. I wasn't sure if that gunshot signalled your death, and that wasn't what I wanted him to be focusing on at the time."

He was infuriated by what his twin was saying. "Hold on. You kissed him to make sure he wasn't worrying about what I was doing? You're unbelievable. You treat him like a goddamn science experiment. In case ya didn't know, he's a human being. His own person and all that shit. So, I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you laid off altering his sensory inputs to see how he reacts."

"And yet, you still don't get to decide what he wants and doesn't want. I don't understand, Jerome. Are you trying to be his friend, lover, or protector? Because, as of right now, you seem to be sending highly mixed messages. Poor Bruce is most likely confused out of his mind."

"Ideally, all three. I'm pretty good at multitasking. Y'know, if it weren't for the whole thought of disappointing him, I'd remove your eyes with a severed kitten's paw and feed them to you." He was grinning widely.

"Thank you for that comforting thought. I needed the reminder of your clinical psychosis; you were speaking so normally that I almost forgot you're completely out of your mind."

"Hey, no problem. Just doin' my brother a favor."

Jeremiah looked like he had a headache. That was fine with Jerome. He hoped to cause him many more.

"If you're not going to kill me, could you please leave? I have a lot to do and I don't see any point in you sticking around here any longer.

"Oh yes, I wouldn't want to get in the way of your extremely important plans. Are you going to walk me out like a gentleman?"

Jeremiah sighed but stood up. He walked stiffly to the concrete door, holding it open for Jerome as he skipped through. He made sure to hit Jeremiah with his elbow as he went.

As the door slammed shut behind him, he was struck with the sudden thought that he had no idea where he was supposed to go. He hadn't really thought past his chat with his brother, and Bruce had made it very clear that he wasn't pleased with him.

But earlier that week he had invited Jerome to live with him. It seemed like a dream from years ago, but it had really happened. And besides, he had nowhere else to go. With Gotham in chaos, he didn't feel like sleeping on the streets. So, he began to meander his way in the general direction of Wayne Manor. After all, everyone in the city knew where to find it. Even the boy from the circus who only came by once a year.

Author's Note:

Well, I certainly hope that you're enjoying the story so far. I know that I've done a poor job of connecting with you guys, but I value my readers more than anything. So please, I absolutely adore any comments and criticism, so feel free to message me. If you're interested in updates, please don't hesitate to follow this story. After all, Gotham is a pretty underappreciated fanbase, and any love it gets is fantastic. I'm so grateful to all of you. The next set of chapters will be posted soon.

~Evelyn