Chapter 22

December 10, T.A 2940

Late Evening

Feren rushed through the doors of the inn, feeling brave and so sure of himself. Just when he locked eyes with her everything around him crashed, his confidence deflated in a second. He was looking at his princess, and here he stood Marchwarden believing he had a shot. To tell his princess he loved her.

Here.

Now.

He couldn't.

If he was going to tell her he was going to do it when they were alone, his eyes fell upon Haldir, when he couldn't ruin everything.

Anariel laughed wholeheartedly from behind the counter when her eyes fell upon him. All laughter ceased, cheeks flushing she sent him a small almost sad smile. Thranduil had explained all he'd done; he'd fought for her against their King. Guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. Who was she kidding he had always been there for her from the very beginning. When they traveled from Bree to Eryn Galen the first time he was there, no matter how much she pushed him away. He was there the night she ran away to the kitchens, he was there to speak to her to help her understand, he never forced her back to her chambers he waited until she was ready to go. Anariel smiled as she remembered how welcome he had made her feel from the very beginning.

The more she thought about their time together the more it seemed her smile grew, their first lesson together nearly made her blush all over again. She wished she could go back to that carefree day, remembering how they had teased each other how comfortable she had felt around him. How he was always so open and honest with her, never tiring or growing annoyed with her endless questions. He spoke so highly of her at dinner, stood up for her at the gathering when she first met Haldir. When her father hit her in his anger, something she began to realize he did in fear. Fear that she would do as she said and leave, as fearful as she was now that she'd lose Feren.

Feren, he was there for her even then, to help her through the pain, to comfort her through the night and into the morning. Until, their first true fight, thinking back she could honestly say it was her fault she had accused Feren of saying things that he did not say. He merely tried to explain to her to stand up for himself and she refused to hear it.

Anariel's hand came to her mouth in horror as she recalled that same afternoon as she tried to apologize, again he was nothing but honest and open he was true to her about his feelings. He had told her even then he would not be around if all she was going to was vent her anger out on him only to return to him when it pleased her, but… wasn't that what she had begun to do. Every time they fought, every time she didn't like something when he was hurt and she became scared of losing him she ran to Haldir only to go Feren after-the-math when she wanted him. After everything she had put him through thus far he was still here and she had gone and done everything he swore he wouldn't stand for.

Why?

Why, would he keep putting himself through it, why not just leave?

Anariel remembered the night before she left, the way Feren held her through her struggles. She fought, screamed, hit him and she knew all the while she wanted him, wanted him to hold her as he did. In her weakest moments, he never gave up on her. He continued to fight for what she wanted, even once she had gone.

"Guren vell," Anariel began as Feren slowly made his way over trying to think of what he was supposed to say, so suddenly everything sounded foolish in his head. "What does it mean?"

"Guren vell?" The king wondered out loud, he immediately suspected Feren and found he did not mind in the least. "It is Sindarin, for 'my sweetheart.'"

With a smile, she remembered as he laid her down, felt his lips upon her cheek how she wanted to pull him down with her to lay her head upon his chest and never move, to feel his lips whenever she pleased.

Anariel never realized in her thoughts, tears had come to her eyes.

The more she thought about Feren the more she realized she was either going to, one day, push him away for good and break her own heart, or perhaps she could let him in for good and she could be his Guren Vell.

Feren gave her a small weak smile of his own as he took a seat next to Legolas. "Can we…" Feren began only to be cut off by a loud banging off to the side, looking over to Anariel who groaned taking in the sight of two men fighting.

"I'm getting too old for this," Tom sighed as he began to make his way over to kick them out.

Anariel wiped away the idle tears she felt upon her cheeks. "You're telling me," Anariel teased placing a hand upon his arm ceasing his movements as she moved to deal with it instead.

"Anariel, leave it. You're going to get injured," Feren cried out, silently cursing her under his breath once more. Feren watched as she gracefully ducked and weaved around the men calmly gathering their arm behind theirs back tossing them out into the nights' air. "Uh," Feren mumbled under his breath, scratching the back of his head. "Not feeling so bad that she bested me in defense now."

The king and Legolas smiled, chuckling lightly as they nodded in agreement.

"Feren," Anariel called coming up behind him, Feren spun meeting her eye to eye nervously. "You wanted to speak?"

"Oh, yeah. Uh, somewhere else, perhaps." Feren stumbled over his words nervously.

She nodded in agreement, slipping from his seat he paused and let Anariel lead the way this time.

Legolas smiled as he watched them go, "Do you think he is going to tell her, he's rather nervous." Legolas wondered out loud to his father.

"Only time will tell."

Legolas agreed and was about to go over and visit Tauriel when his eyes landed upon Haldir who, conveniently was about to slip out of the inn. His mind immediately snapped back to the way he treated her in his chambers mere moments ago. If he knew Haldir, and he was quite sure he did, he was doing this for no other reason than to win a game of some sort. Legolas growled as he stood from his chair, he would not let anyone ruin his sister's happiness. Legolas slipped through the crowd blocking his path. "I thought I told you to stay away from her," Legolas snarled regretting now that he hadn't brought his daggers, instead he grasped Haldir by the arm dragging him out into the night avoiding the looks of every mortal and elf.

Haldir ripped his arm away as they stood in the cool night.

"Why are you doing this?" Legolas demanded.

Haldir rolled his eyes, "She's beautiful, what can I say?"

Legolas scoffed, disbelieving his words. "That is my sister, she is your princess. I saw the way you were treating her, and from what Feren says…"

"You're going to believe him?" Haldir sneered hatefully about the elf.

"I would trust him with Anariel, more than I would ever trust you. I, at first, thought perhaps you might have actually cared that maybe she wasn't just some game, I see now that, that is all she is."

"A game?" Haldir cried out in mock shock, "She is more than just a game."

Legolas shook his head, his lips pulling tight. "Stay away from her."

"Not until Feren and I settle things once and for all," Haldir called out as he began to storm away.

Legolas paused horrified by his words, it had never dawned on him before then again never in all his years had he believed one of his friends could be so cruel, so heartless. "So she is a game, you do not love her, this is revenge." Legolas screeched at his retreating form, Legolas vowed to in that moment to protect his sister in whatever way possible.

"I'm sorry," Feren breathed as they were still walking, "I lost my temper when I arrived and…"

Anariel watched Feren carefully as they walked side by side, a smile graced her lips as she took in his deep brown eyes a sadness hid behind them, one she hadn't seen ever since she had met him here in Bree. A sadness she had partaken in, a stabbing raged in her heart at the thought. She was so lost in her own thoughts still, she had hardly noticed he had stopped walking until he'd ceased all movements. With tears in her eyes, Anariel turned to face him, "I…I am sorry too." She whispered, her hand came up tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear as she had once done on the field. She paused, what could she ever say that would right her wrongs.

Silence filled the air neither one of them spoke, nothing but the sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze, birds chirping in the distance, and the trickling of a nearby stream could be heard. Her hand trailed down the side of his neck resting on his shoulder, glancing to the ground she was about to move away when she felt him take both of her hands in his pulling them to rest upon his chest before resting a hand upon her lower back the other tucking back her own hair before wrapping tenderly around her neck.

Her heart began beating, cheeks burning red as she blushed, stomach churning blissfully with a mix nervousness and excitement.

"I…it… well, you see," Feren sighed helplessly. He could so easily put it into words but now that she was here and in his arms no words seemed to be good enough. Feren cursed himself, dropping his head it fell to rest upon hers, Anariel took a deep breath, calming her own nerves as she breathed in his scent. How could he be so comfortable with her yet, so endlessly nervous? "Oh, guren vell, gi melin." Feren breathed out loud, hating that he just couldn't say in Westron for her.

Anariel heart skipped a beat, tears formed in her eyes. If there was ever a lingering doubt in her mind about how she felt towards Feren they have been wiped away in that moment. "I…I love you too." Anariel leaned up whispering in his ear.

Feren pulled away shocked, "You… understood?"

She nodded, she remembered the words from the note the king had shared with her and Legolas from their mother. Feren stared into her eyes before glancing down at her lips, her full pale pink lips she was biting on. He wanted to kiss her but feared

he would not want it, what if she ran away in tears again.

His fears eased when he felt her hands move from his chest to his neck, her cool gentle touch made his skin tingle. Feeling embolden by her own movements Feren slid his hand along her neck cupping her face, as he pulled her body in closer his warm breath tickling the corner of her lips as he moved closer. Anariel knelt up on her toes closing the remaining space between them sighing deeply as she felt his lips on hers.

Feren pulled away holding her face in the palm of his hand, he rested his forehead upon her own. "I know you're scared, your so used to people leaving and passing away leaving you heartbroken, but I promise I…"

"Don't," Anariel interrupted as kindly as possible.

"I would never hurt you," Feren insisted.

"Don't promise me something you can't keep," Anariel whispered, lifting her head to look him in the eyes.

"But…" Feren struggled to find the right words.

"You can promise all you want, but it's a promise you can't keep, let's face it your Chief Marchwarden, that doesn't exactly place you in the safest of places. You told me yourself, you were injured once protecting my mother…"

"Aye, and I would do it for you," Feren declared passionately as Anariel slipped from his hands.

"That is what I fear. You can not promise me, you will never leave me if you to promise to protect and keep me safe in such ways. Can you?" She screamed tears blurring her vision.

"I wish to keep you safe, yes. To protect you. I would do anything for you, Guren Vell."

"Don't then."

"Pardon?"

"Just don't don't protect me. You can't keep me safe, and put yourself in danger. If something were to happen to you… I" Anariels word trailed off. "I can't just throw my heart out on the line like that, so carelessly."

Feren stood stunned disbelieving what he was hearing, he shook his head. "No."

"I love you, I do. I…I can admit that but…"

"But, what?" Feren screamed his heart aching, his vision seemed to blur in front of him. "You seem less than worried when you threw your heart out there for Haldir."

"Haldir! This has nothing to do with Haldir. I know when it comes to Haldir where I stand, he doesn't promise to never leave me, my heart is completely safe with him, I assure you I have it well guarded. I know what to expect with him, it is nothing, mindless. He will leave like everyone else has. My heart knows that it is safe for I am expecting it, I am prepared for it."

Feren took a step back stunned into silence, this was never about her not loving him back. This way about the security of knowing what was going to happen, being able to predict the future preparing her heart for the pain she knew was to come. It was how she could survive so long in the midst of so many mortals, so much heartbreak.

"So you are telling me, even though I stand here. Tell you I love you, that you are more than life its self to me. You just can't, you may still choose him, choose one who will never care, who will never love you. He will never care about your dreams, or what you are passionate about. He will never see the way your eyes sparkle silver beneath the moon or shimmer a river's blue in the endless sunlight."

"Feren…" Anariel cried out, her hand coming to her mouth stunned by his words.

"What? Does it hurt?" Feren demanded a question he did not need to ask for he could see the pain in her eyes. "How do you think I hurt, ever time I see you in his arms. You stand there and say you cannot put your heart on the line for fear I will leave, and yet you turn around and do the same to me, leave run to some other ellon. Yet, still, I stand here with my own heart open for you."

Anariel wiped away her tears, "You're right. I to have been horrible, I do not understand why you have not left me yet after all I have done to you, things you swore you would not stand for."

Feren smiled as he walked closer taking her back into his arms, "Because I love you, and nothing and no one can change that. Even if I am the Marchwarden and you, the Princess of Eryn Galen."

Anariel sighed a smiling returning to her lips as she allowed herself to be pulled back into his arms, "Hmm, the king said I can for a time forget the title until I am ready, so, for now, I've decided just Anariel."

"Oh," Feren mused, "Well, just a barmaid then?"

"One could say that." Anariel smiled her heart felt lighter as she heard his light teasing tone.

"Well, then barmaid." Feren teased lightly.

"Feren?"

"Yes."

"Would you… can you…" Her words trailed off into silence. "Oh, just kiss me."

"Is that an order? From a barmaid. You know, I'm Feren, Chief Marchwarden of the Woodland Realm."

"Oh, my apologies Marchwarden."

"That's Chief Marchwarden to you."

Feren smirked down at her chuckling as he hooked a finger under her chin lifting her face up before kissing her beneath the stars.