A/N - Extra-long chapter this week, because I just couldn't cut it anywhere. I'm sure you won't mind. Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I am always thankful for all of you!
Chapter 47
Want
13 February 2000
"Remus." The blocks Remus had been directing back into the basket of toys fell to the ground with a clatter.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Hermione said. She drew her own wand and waved it at the blocks, depositing them in the basket. She smiled at Remus. He cleared his throat.
"Hermione," he said. He had no idea why she had finally approached him after they had basically avoided one another the entire evening, but he couldn't ignore her and be rude. There were too many people watching.
"I visited Will yesterday."
"Oh, how is he doing?" Remus asked.
"As well as can be expected, given his situation," Hermione said. "He is having a hard time adjusting after living the way he did for so long."
"I can imagine," Remus said, remembering how hard it was for him to assimilate back into normal life after his missions for the Order. And he had only been gone a few months at a time. Will had lived with the pack for four years.
"Anyway, his mother and I were talking about Hogwarts. I know that Will wants to go and I'm sure that Professor McGonagall would allow it, but Will can barely read." Remus nodded. He was having trouble being so close to her. He shifted back a half-step and thankfully, she didn't seem to notice.
"Will also has a four-year-old sister, who's having a hard time adjusting to him being back. His mother has her hands full dealing with the two of them and trying to help Will get used to living indoors again. I was thinking that maybe you might be able to help."
"Tutoring him?" Remus questioned.
"Yes, and maybe helping him make the transition from living with the pack," Hermione said. "Will mentioned you to his mother and she remembered you. Her oldest daughter was a first year when you taught at Hogwarts."
"Oh, well, I suppose I could help."
"Wonderful," Hermione said her eyes lighting up. Remus had a hard time tearing his gaze away from her. "Maybe we could go Tuesday or Wednesday evening? I don't think she had any wards set up for Will's transformation either. I could help with that while you talk with Caroline and Will."
Remus couldn't speak for a moment; he was so busy staring at her. Hermione's brow furrowed in confusion.
"Remus?"
"Oh, yes, I, uh, either, either would be fine." He cleared his throat again, feeling wrong-footed.
"All right, I'll owl Caroline and ask her and I'll let you know. Thanks, Remus."
"You're welcome," he said.
"Here, let me help you with this. I made most of the mess anyway," she said with a laugh. His stomach tightened at the sound. With a wave of her wand, all the toys that stayed at the Burrow were in the basket. Another wave sent Teddy's toys into his bag. Smiling, Hermione turned and walked over to Ginny, joining the other woman on the couch in front of the fireplace.
Remus stared after her. She was talking to Ginny as if everything was normal. There was no hint of the sadness and disappointment he had seen on her face just two nights ago. He didn't understand what was happening.
"Well, that seemed to work," Ginny said with a smirk when Hermione joined her on the couch.
"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked.
"Whatever you're doing with Remus," Ginny said. "He can't take his eyes off you."
"I'm not doing anything," Hermione said, hoping she looked confused.
"Sure, you're not," Ginny said.
"Ginny, I promise, I don't have some nefarious plan."
"I never said it was nefarious, but you do have a plan." Hermione rolled her eyes.
"No, I simply don't want things to be awkward between us. Remus is part of Harry's life, I'm sure we'll be running into each other quite often." Ginny studied her for a few moments before she shrugged.
"Whatever you say, Hermione." Hermione really wanted to look at Remus, but she forced herself not to.
The truth was their conversation had been excruciating. All she wanted to do was grab him and shake him to make him understand or maybe snog him again; both options were about equal in her mind right now. It had been so difficult to act as if everything was fine, although she seemed to have managed it if what Ginny said was true.
And then suddenly, Remus was in front of her. She looked up and met his gaze. He stared at her for a moment before he turned to Harry. Ginny nudged Hermione in the ribs.
"We've got to be going, Harry. Teddy is getting a bit cranky," Remus said. "Congratulations again. I'm very happy for you both." He gave Harry a genuine smile.
"That makes two of us," Andromeda said as she came into the room, carrying Teddy. He was rubbing his eyes, but he grinned as soon as he saw his godfather. Harry took the little boy from his grandmother and gave him a smacking kiss on his cheek. Teddy giggled when Ginny did the same on his other side. Hermione glanced up to see the fondness in Remus' eyes.
"My turn," she said and reached for Teddy. Teddy happily let Harry transfer him into Hermione's arms. She kissed his cheek and then rubbed her nose against his. Teddy wrapped his little arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. Hermione closed her eyes for a moment and relished in the warmth of his little body.
"Sleep well," she said as she handed him to Remus. Their hands brushed, and Hermione forced herself not to react, pasting a smile on her face instead. Remus flinched slightly and then cleared his throat. He gave Hermione another one of those looks before he turned towards the fireplace.
"I'll owl you about Will, Remus." He nodded and grabbed for the Floo powder, instructing Teddy to close his eyes.
"Good-bye," he said and then he was gone, Andromeda following a few moments later.
"No plan, huh?" Ginny said under her breath before she sat down next to Harry again. Hermione ignored Ginny's comment.
"So, tell me about today," Hermione said. Ginny grinned and Harry smiled and kissed her temple.
"This isn't going to get all sappy is it?" Ron asked. "Only, I think I might be sick if it is." Hermione reached over and smacked him in the back of the head.
"Ow," Ron said, rubbing the spot and scowling at her. Ginny stuck her tongue out at him.
"First, we went to lunch at this gorgeous restaurant in London," Ginny said. "The food was amazing; I've never had anything like it."
"Then, Harry Apparated us to Hogwarts. I was a little confused, but he said he'd been meaning to visit Hagrid and asked if I minded. So, we had tea with Hagrid and then Harry wanted to go and visit the Quidditch pitch. It was pretty cold today, so there weren't any students around. We borrowed brooms and went for a fly. When we landed, Harry got down on one knee and asked me." Hermione sighed happily. It was all very romantic.
"Why Hogwarts, mate?" Ron asked.
"I just wanted to replace some of those bad memories with a happy one," Harry said. "Besides, it's where I fell in love with her in the first place." Ginny smiled and kissed Harry softly. Hermione glanced at Ron. Despite his earlier statement, he was smiling at the two of them.
"And I have a confession to make," Harry said as he and Ginny pulled apart. "The reason there weren't any students on the grounds today was because I asked McGonagall to keep everyone inside for an hour or two." Ron and Hermione laughed.
"Sneaky," Ginny said, before she kissed him again.
"Why were you late, though?" Ron asked. "You can't have been at lunch for that long." Hermione bit her lip to keep from laughing, suspecting just why Harry and Ginny had been late for dinner. Ginny turned her gaze on her brother.
"Do you really want me to answer that question?" she said sweetly with a gleam in her eye. Ron looked confused for a moment before his eyes widened.
"Er, no, that's all right," he said quickly.
"So, any ideas on when the big day is going to be?" Hermione asked, deciding to save Ron and change the subject.
"We haven't really talked about it yet," Ginny said. "But you'll be my maid of honor, won't you?" Hermione felt tears spring to her eyes.
"Of course, I will," Hermione said, reaching over to hug her friend. Ginny was crying too.
"Why are they crying?" Ron asked. Harry shrugged.
"Dunno." He turned to Ron. "Best man?"
"Oh, Harry, of course I will," Ron said, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes. He reached over and made a show of hugging Harry. Ginny reached past Hermione and smacked her brother's shoulder.
"Shut it, you prat." Harry finally shoved Ron off him and the two of them watched the women, who were still hugging.
"We'll figure you out too, Hermione," Ginny murmured in her ear. Hermione squeezed her friend tighter for a second before letting her go.
"I should head home," she said. "New job tomorrow and all."
"Come to Grimmauld after work," Ginny said. "I want to hear all about it."
"But, it's Valentine's Day," Hermione protested. "Aren't the two of you going out somewhere?"
"I got night shift tomorrow," Harry said with a frown. "Had to switch to get today off."
"All right," Hermione agreed. She hugged Ginny again and then Harry and Ron before making her good-byes to Molly and Arthur. Everyone else had already gone home.
"Good luck, Hermione," Harry said. "Not that you'll need it."
"Thanks, Harry." She gave them all a wave and stepped into the Floo.
14 February 2000
Hermione took a deep breath as she stepped out of the Floo into the Ministry's atrium. She had come in a little early, wanting to avoid running into as many of her old co-workers as possible. She wasn't in the mood to answer questions about her resignation and she definitely did not want to see Mr. Satterfield.
Making her way to the lifts, Hermione was deep in thought about her werewolf proposal and didn't notice someone come up next to her until the lift doors opened. As she stepped inside, Jensen Barbary walked in next to her. Hermione held back a gasp.
"Granger," he greeted as the doors slid shut. They were the only two in the lift.
"Barbary," Hermione returned. They rode in silence for a few seconds.
"How's the kid?" Barbary asked.
"He's doing all right," Hermione replied. "Back with his family." Barbary nodded.
"Look, I'm sorry about everything that happened," he said. "But I had to."
"I know," Hermione said. "I'm just glad the Minister could get it all straightened out."
"I want Satterfield out as much as you do." Hermione laughed.
"I'm not sure that's true," she said. Barbary smirked.
"Well, maybe not." The lift came to a stop on Hermione's floor.
"Good luck, Granger."
"Thank you," Hermione said as the doors slid open. She cast one last look at Barbary before she exited the lift. Pulling in another breath, she squared her shoulders and headed for Margaret's office. She hoped this job would go much better than the last.
Remus handed Teddy the small chocolate heart and the little boy took it eagerly. He had inherited Remus' love for chocolate, that much was certain. Normally, they didn't give it to him, he wasn't even two after all. But it was Valentine's Day and Remus saw no harm in a bit of a treat.
"Mo', Daddy," Teddy said, his face smeared with chocolate.
"I think that's enough," Remus said with a chuckle, waving his wand to clean the chocolate from Teddy's face.
"Mo'!" Teddy insisted.
"How about a story instead?" Remus countered.
"Yes!" Teddy said throwing his hand up in the air. Remus laughed again and removed his son from his highchair, setting him down and following him into the living room. Teddy ran to the basket of books Andromeda kept near the couch and dug through it, pulling out the book of Muggle fairy tales. Remus stopped short. Teddy had finally gotten over his obsession with the Gingerbread Man and they hadn't read from that book for a few weeks now.
"My-nee, Daddy!" Teddy said excitedly. Remus nearly groaned aloud.
"Yes, Hermione did give you that book," Remus said, settling down on the couch and pulling Teddy into his lap. Remus opened the book and flipped to The Ugly Duckling, thinking that maybe he could distract Teddy with something different.
When he started to read, however, Teddy shook his head and began flipping pages. Remus stopped him on The Elves and the Shoemaker.
"Let's try this one," he suggested.
"No," Teddy said. "My-nee, Daddy." Remus bit back a sigh and allowed Teddy to turn to The Gingerbread Man. Teddy settled happily against him and Remus began to read.
When they reached the page with the illustration that looked like Hermione, Remus tried to keep from looking at it, even after Teddy pointed it out. But he couldn't keep his eyes from jumping to it every few seconds. It was a good thing he had the story memorized.
When Remus finished reading, Teddy yawned and Remus knew he should take him up to bed. Instead, he cuddled the boy a bit tighter in his arms and reclined back against the arm of the couch. Teddy snuggled into his chest as he had when he was a baby and Remus brought a hand to his son's back, rubbing small circles until he felt Teddy's breath even out. Remus kissed the top of his head and stilled his hand, keeping Teddy protectively in his embrace.
Andromeda came into the room a bit later and smiled at the two of them. She waved her wand and Teddy was immediately clothed in his pajamas.
"Would you like me to take him up?" she asked quietly.
"Not just yet," Remus replied. Andromeda nodded and walked into the kitchen. Remus sighed and stared into the fire, his mind wandering back to Hermione as it seemed to always be doing lately. He was still a bit perplexed about her behavior the night before at the Burrow. He had expected that they would avoid one another and if they were forced to talk, it would have been stilted and awkward. It had been, on his part, but Hermione hadn't seemed particularly bothered.
He should be glad, he knew. He had told her that he wasn't right for her and that she should find someone else. But seeing her acting just as she always had around him was disconcerting. And to be honest, it made him feel a bit despondent. She was obviously able to turn her feelings off more easily than he could.
Although he was still staring at the fireplace, he still jumped when the flames turned green. Teddy stirred but didn't wake.
"Oh, Remus, I'm sorry," Hermione said quietly.
"It's all right," Remus replied. Andromeda walked into the room.
"Hello, Hermione," she said. She turned to Remus. "Let me take him." Remus transferred Teddy to his grandmother's arms and she left the room to put him to bed.
"I'm sorry to interrupt," Hermione said again.
"It's fine, Hermione," Remus said, holding back a sigh. "How can I help you?"
"I spoke with Caroline and she said Tuesday would be fine, if you'd still like to help."
"Yes, of course," Remus said.
"Would you like me to pick you up there or do you want to come here?"
"Here, if you don't mind," Remus said immediately. The last thing he needed as to be alone with her. He thought he saw the ghost of a smile on her face, but it had likely just been a trick of the fire.
"Is half six all right?"
"Yes, that's fine."
"I'll see you tomorrow then. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day." Hermione smiled and then pulled her head from the fire. Remus dropped his head into his hands with a groan. This was much more difficult that he'd thought it was going to be.
15 February 2000
Hermione stepped through the Floo into Remus' living room. He was waiting for her, looking a bit fidgety. It could have been because the moon was only four days away, but somehow, Hermione didn't think so.
"Hello," she said.
"Hermione," he replied. Hermione looked around.
"Where's Teddy?"
"Andromeda took him up for a bath," Remus said. "She didn't want him to make us late." Truthfully, Remus had tried to convince his mother-in-law to wait until Hermione arrived, but at the strange look she gave him, he relented. She was right that Teddy would have delayed them, as he likely would have made a scene wanting to come along.
"Shall we go then?" Remus asked.
"Of course," Hermione said. "We'll have to Apparate though. Their Floo is password protected." Remus froze. Hermione would have to take him side-along as he had no idea where they were going.
"All right," he finally said. He ushered her toward the back door, grabbing his cloak as they passed the coat tree.
"Did you have a nice Valentine's Day?" he asked as they walked across the backyard. Hermione laughed.
"Ginny and I had dinner and then stuffed ourselves with chocolate. Harry had to work," she explained at his quizzical expression.
"I see," he replied.
"There are likely better ways to spend that particular holiday," she said, looking at him from the corner of her eye. He swallowed. "But Ginny and I had fun."
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, having to clear his throat to get the words out. They reached the edge of the wards and Hermione turned to him.
"Ready?" she asked holding out her arm. He took it slowly, trying to keep from touching her with his body, but Hermione stepped closer to him, pressing his arm into her side. She smiled as she turned and they Disapparated.
They landed outside the wards Harry had set for Caroline and Hermione didn't immediately let go of him. They were standing rather close together and she looked up at him for a moment before taking a step back. He looked away quickly.
"Here we are," she said cheerfully and began to walk towards the cottage. He followed, forcing himself to look at the ground so that he didn't stare at her arse. What the hell was wrong with him? They reached the front door and Hermione knocked. Moments later, Will pulled the door open.
"Hermione!" he said with a grin.
"Hi, Will. You remember Mr. Lupin," Hermione said.
"Hi," Will said, looking a bit wary. Remus smiled.
"Hello, Will," he said. "It's good to see you again." Will's mother walked up behind her son. A little girl was hanging onto her leg.
"Come in, please," she said, and they stepped inside. Caroline took their cloaks. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lupin. Caroline Burke."
"Remus, please," he said as he shook her hand. He looked down at the little girl. "You must be Rebecca." She hid her face in her mother's robes.
"Yes, she is," Caroline said. "Won't you say hello, Rebecca?" Rebecca shook her head. Hermione and Remus chuckled as Caroline led them into the sitting room. Rebecca climbed into her mother's lap as soon as she sat down.
"I'm so grateful that you're willing to help us," Caroline said. Remus smiled.
"It's no trouble," he assured her. Remus felt eyes on him, but when he glanced at Hermione, she was talking quietly with Will. Remus cleared his throat and turned back to Caroline. "I suppose we should start by discussing what Will's abilities are and where he will need extra help."
"Yes, of course," Caroline said with a sidelong glance at her son. She looked a bit uncomfortable and Remus could sense that she would rather speak to him in private. Fortunately, Rebecca chose this moment to speak up.
"I'm hungry, Mummy," she said. "Can I have a snack?"
"Yes, you may," her mother replied with a smile. "Will, can you take Rebecca into the kitchen and help her?"
"Okay, Mum." But Rebecca stubbornly remained in her mother's lap.
"I want you to help me, Mummy," Rebecca declared.
"Mummy has guests right now, sweetheart," Caroline said. "Will can help you."
"No!"
"Rebecca," her mother said warningly. Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, but she stood all the same and walked out of the room with Will.
"I'm sorry," Caroline said once the children had left the room. She looked a bit embarrassed. "She has been a handful ever since Will came home."
"It's perfectly understandable," Remus said. "I'm sure it has been an adjustment for all of you." Caroline sighed and nodded.
"You asked about Will's abilities," she said. Remus nodded. "He was seven when he was taken, so he could read. Simple books, of course, but he didn't have much problem with them. Now, he can barely get through picture books with only two or three words on the page. He could do simple sums before, but he seems to have lost all ability to do even that. I have been trying to work with him, but between dealing with Rebecca, and Will wanting to escape outside every few minutes, it has been challenging." She took a breath and looked up at Remus.
"I don't mean this to sound arrogant, but none of my children have ever had any problems learning new concepts. This included Will when he was younger. But now, he doesn't even seem to have an interest. It's as if a different child has come back to me." Caroline shook her head and looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear my whining."
"Don't apologize," Hermione said. Remus looked at her and saw the sympathetic look on her face. He smiled softly and turned back to Caroline.
"I agree, there is nothing to be sorry for. This is a difficult situation all around." Caroline looked up at him. She seemed hesitant to speak, but Remus gave her an encouraging look.
"Will told me that you stayed with his pack, for a time," she said. Remus forced himself to remain calm.
"I did," he agreed.
"Have you, that is," she shook her head. "It's none of my business, I'm sorry."
"You're wondering if I've lived in a pack for an extended period of time?" She looked up at him and nodded. Remus took a breath.
"I did live with different packs over the course of both wars, but I was an adult," Remus said. He could see from the corner of his eye that Hermione was listening intently. "I was working as a spy, trying to convince the packs to side with the Light instead of Voldemort." Caroline visibly flinched at the name. "I spent anywhere from a few days to a few months with a pack, depending on the reception I received.
While all packs are different, survival and protection of its members is always the main concern. Things like reading and writing aren't priorities. Very few werewolves held jobs at all and if they did it was always manual labor, usually sporadic and always in the Muggle world. It doesn't surprise me that Will forgot most of what he knew. He would have never had reason to practice it." Caroline nodded.
"I suspected as much," she said.
"If he caught on so quickly when he was younger, then he's likely not going to have too much trouble relearning it all," Hermione said, and Remus nodded his head in agreement.
"I'm just concerned he won't be ready for Hogwarts in the fall," Caroline said. "I know Hermione said there are quite a few students that are a year behind, but I don't think I'd want him to start two years behind. He'd be twenty before he finished."
"Let's not worry about that just now," Remus said. "Once I start working with him, I'll have a better idea of his capabilities." Caroline nodded just as the children came back into the room. She and Remus worked out a schedule, while Hermione spoke with Will and entertained Rebecca by conjuring her Patronus. Remus couldn't help but smile at the scene. Rebecca sat on Hermione's lap, giggling as the little otter swam around her head, while Will looked on in awe. She really was remarkable.
Shaking his head to reign in his errant thoughts, Remus turned his attention back to Caroline.
"The full moon is Saturday," he said. "Have you done any preparation?" Caroline sighed.
"We have a shed out behind the house that I thought he could use. It would have to be reinforced magically I assume." Remus nodded. "Hermione said there were wards she should show me as well."
"Yes, you will definitely need those," Remus agreed. A twelve-year old boy wasn't as strong as a full-grown werewolf, but he could still do damage all the same. "Have you and Hermione discussed Wolfsbane?"
"Yes," Caroline said with another sigh. "But I checked with the apothecary and it is ridiculously expensive. I had been planning on going back to work, with the war over, I wouldn't worry so much about hiring someone to mind Rebecca. But with Will coming back that has been set aside for now. We have money that my husband inherited from his family, but it won't last long if I have to buy Wolfsbane every month." Remus nodded in understanding. The ingredients themselves weren't overly expensive, but the process of brewing the potion was very time-consuming. Most apothecaries charged what they did because of the labor involved.
"My mother-in-law brews my Wolfsbane," Remus said. "If you think you could afford the ingredients, she could just brew a double-batch." Caroline looked up at him with tears in her eyes.
"Truly?" she asked.
"I don't see why not," Remus said. "There wouldn't be much more work involved, just preparing extra ingredients."
"I could help with that," Caroline said. "I did get an "O" on my Potions N.E.W.T. I was training to be a Healer before I had Rachel." Remus smiled.
"I'll speak with her and let you know at my first tutoring session," Remus said. "Obviously, since the moon is only four days away, it is too late this month. But for next, I'm sure she would be happy to help."
"Thank you, so much," Caroline said tears in her eyes. "It truly was a miracle the day Hermione found my son." Hermione had obviously been listening to their conversation for she blushed slightly when Caroline made her last statement. Remus cleared his throat and stood.
"Would you like me to take a look at the shed?"
"Yes, thank you," Caroline replied. Hermione rose as well and with a quick word to Will and Rebecca, joined Remus and Caroline.
Remus walked around the shed and inspected it, aided by the lantern Caroline was holding. It would do, although they would have to clean it out and magically reinforce it as Caroline had said. Hermione was showing Caroline the different wards she would need to put up.
"You'll also need a warming charm since he is outside," Remus said. "Once he's in wolf form, he will be fine, but when he transforms back, he's likely to be chilled." Caroline nodded. "You'll need plenty of pain potion and perhaps blood replenisher, depending on how much he injures himself." She looked sickened.
"This moon is likely going to be a hard one for him, as it will be the first one without his pack. There is a different energy when you transform with others than when you're alone. Not to mention that this will likely be the first time he's been locked up. Cushioning charms on the walls and door wouldn't go amiss."
"Gods," Caroline said under her breath. Remus hating having to tell the woman these things, but it was better that she be prepared. He put a hand on her arm.
"Next month will be easier," he said. "He will be much calmer with the potion." Caroline nodded, and Remus gave her arm a gentle squeeze. When he looked up, Hermione glanced away quickly. Remus' brow furrowed at the flash he'd thought he had seen in her eyes but decided he had imagined it. What could she possible have to be angry about?
Hermione turned back to the shed, finishing the charm she was casting. She pulled in a silent breath and let it out slowly. She hadn't been able to stop the flare of jealousy when Remus had put a hand on Caroline's arm. Hermione was being ridiculous. Remus was simply being kind; it's who he was.
Caroline turned her attention back to what Hermione was doing and Hermione continued to explain the different wards and enchantments she was casting.
"A silencing charm?" Caroline asked. "I don't think I'd want that." Hermione glanced at Remus whose face was unreadable. Her mind cast back to the full moon at Grimmauld when Andromeda had cancelled the silencing charm and she and Harry had been witnesses to Remus' grief.
"Trust me, you do," Hermione said.
"But what if he needs help?" Caroline asked. Hermione shook her head.
"There's nothing you could do without risking being bitten yourself. And if you open this shed while he's transformed, you risk him biting Rebecca too." Caroline shuddered.
"Werewolves are remarkably resilient," Remus said quietly. "He will be all right." Caroline bit her lip but nodded all the same. Hermione finished showing her the wards.
"I'll come by the night of the full moon and make sure that you've remembered everything correctly."
"Thank you, Hermione." The three adults walked back into the house. Hermione and Remus said their good-byes and lit their wands before making their way to the Apparition point.
"Thank you for helping them," Hermione said once they'd reached it. Her lit wand was trained on the ground and when she looked up at him, his face was in shadow. She tried to read his eyes, but it was difficult in the darkness.
"I'm happy to do what I can," he said, his voice sounding gruffer than usual. Hermione swallowed. They were standing closer together than she realized and all she would have to do was stand up on tiptoe to kiss him. Instead, she forced herself to take a step back.
"I should get going," she said. "I've got a bit of reading to do before work tomorrow."
"Yes, your new job," he said. Hermione nodded.
"There are still a few things I'd like to talk to you about, related to that. But it can wait until after the moon. I'll Floo?" Remus nodded. "Good night, Remus."
"Good night, Hermione." Hermione looked at him one last time before turning and Disapparating.
Remus stood rooted the spot, staring at where she had just been. For a moment, he had thought that she was going to kiss him. He had to admit that he had been surprised when she hadn't.
Surprised and disappointed, a voice in his head said. Remus scowled.
Since she hadn't, it must mean that she understood what he had said to her the other day and was at least trying to move on from him. He was glad.
Are you really, though? the voice asked. Remus sighed. The voice was starting to sound a lot like Sirius. Of course, he was glad. Hermione deserved much more. At the disbelieving chuckle in his head, Remus glowered and spun, Disapparating.
21 February 2000
"I will not be too late," Andromeda said as she pulled on her cloak.
"Stay out as late as you like," Remus replied. Andromeda looked unsure. Remus knew it was because it was only two days past the full moon, which had been more difficult for him than usual. While he didn't want to admit it, he knew it was because of everything that had happened between him and Hermione. The wolf had been restless, even with the Wolfsbane.
"Maybe I should-" Andromeda began, but Remus put a hand on her arm.
"It is your sister's birthday," he said. "Go and have dinner with her. Teddy has had supper and you've given him his bath. We'll likely just play for a little while and then I will put him to bed. We will be fine."
"If Lucius was able to leave the Manor, I would wait and celebrate with her another time," Andromeda said apologetically. "But she needs to get out."
"I understand," Remus said.
"If you are sure," she said. Remus nodded. "All right, then." Andromeda eyed him one more time before she turned to Teddy who was playing on the floor.
"Give Nanna kisses," Andromeda said. Teddy scampered towards her, holding his arms out and pursing his lips. Remus chuckled as he gave her a rather sloppy kiss on the cheek, then hugged her around the legs. "Be good for your daddy."
"Have a good time," Remus said as Andromeda disappeared through the Floo.
"Bye, Na-na," Teddy waved. He looked up at Remus. "Daddy, pay?" Remus gingerly lowered himself to the floor, holding back a groan at the ache in his joints. The truth was, he was still quite sore today. He had been hiding it from Andromeda, knowing that if he told her she would have cancelled her plans for Narcissa's birthday.
Narcissa had told Andromeda that Lucius was becoming almost insufferable about his house arrest. Draco had moved into the large flat the Malfoy's owned in London and wasn't visiting the Manor nearly as often as Lucius wanted. Narcissa, of course, could visit her son anytime, and often did, but Lucius was not given the same luxury. He also had no friends left, as they were all either dead or in Azkaban, and Narcissa was no longer as tolerant of his moods as she had been in the beginning.
"You would think he had forgotten he could be rotting in Azkaban instead," Narcissa had said to Andromeda one afternoon when she had come for tea. While Remus understood the man's restlessness, he couldn't find it in himself to feel sorry for him. Narcissa was right, after all. Lucius should be grateful he wasn't stuck in a cell.
"Dis!" Teddy said, pulling out the Quidditch set Harry had gotten him for Christmas. He also picked up one of his dragons. "Tase, Daddy!" Remus charmed the Quidditch figure to fly and then had the dragon chase after it. Teddy stood and clapped his hands, his eyes alight with excitement. Remus wasn't sure why Teddy loved this particular game so much, but he smiled all the same at Teddy's reaction.
Teddy picked up another Quidditch figure and then handed Remus a dragon.
"Daddy, tase!" Remus reached for his wand, but Teddy kept hold of the Quidditch figure and was zooming it around in the air. When Remus charmed the dragon, Teddy shook his head.
"No. Daddy tase!" He picked up another dragon and handed it to Remus, then darted off across the room. Teddy looked back at his father. "Tase!" Remus' smile fell.
"Daddy can't chase tonight, Teddy."
"Daddy, tase!"
"Daddy is too sore," Remus tried to explain, but Teddy, of course, didn't understand. He kept insisting that Remus chase him with the dragon.
"Teddy," Remus said in exasperation. Teddy ran back to his father and jumped onto his outstretched legs. Remus grunted in pain as Teddy knelt in his lap, his knees digging into Remus' thighs.
"Daddy, tase?" Teddy asked sweetly. Remus couldn't help but smile at his son. Remus set his wand on the floor and brushed a lock of hair off Teddy's forehead.
"Daddy can't chase today," Remus said again, feeling incredibly guilty for having to disappoint his son. Remus tried to figure out a way to explain it in toddler terms. "My legs hurt. Ouch."
"Daddy, owts?" Teddy asked in concern.
"Yes, Daddy has an ouch. It hurts to run."
"Me tiss?" Remus chuckled.
"A kiss would help," Remus agreed. Teddy shuffled off Remus' lap and bent down, ending up kissing Remus' knee. He looked very proud of himself when he stood up.
"Now, Daddy tase?" Remus couldn't help but laugh. Of course, Teddy would think that by giving Remus a kiss, he would cure all his father's ills. Remus and Andromeda always told him they could 'kiss it better'. And with magic, it was basically true; a wave of their wand and a kiss and Teddy was usually completely healed in seconds. If only it was that easy with these aches and pains.
"Daddy is going to need a little longer before he can chase," Remus said, reaching out and grabbing his son and tickling his sides. Teddy squealed in delight as Remus blew raspberries in his neck and continued to tickle him. The little boy was out of breath when Remus finally stopped his torture. Teddy grinned up at his father and Remus gathered him close, putting a kiss on the top of his head.
"I love you, Teddy."
"Love, Daddy," Teddy replied, wrapping his chubby arms around Remus' neck and resting his head against Remus' chest. Remus squeezed him a bit tighter and smiled. It didn't get much better than this.
Just as Teddy started to squirm in his arms, the Floo flared. They both looked towards it, Teddy trying to scramble away, but Remus held on to him tightly.
"Hello?" Hermione said from the fireplace.
"My-nee!" Teddy said in excitement. He squirmed again and Remus lost his grip on him. Teddy stumbled as his feet touched the ground, but he quickly righted himself and ran toward the Floo. Remus struggled to get to his feet, but he knew he would never make it in time. He lunged forward and grabbed for Teddy with one hand, while his other scrabbled on the floor for his wand. Remus had just got his fingers on Teddy's pajama top when his wand rolled away from him and under the couch. He swore and shoved his hand under the couch to search for it when Teddy wriggled away from him. Remus watched in horror as Teddy neared the fireplace. Remus had forgotten to reset the wards after Andromeda had left.
"Teddy!" he yelled as he continued to fumble for his wand. "Teddy, stop!" The little boy ignored him, and Remus prayed that Hermione would realize what was happening and pull her head from the Floo, severing the connection. Remus finally summoned his wand, cursing himself for not doing it earlier. He got to his knees and raised it to cast a shield on the fireplace, but it was too late. Teddy was too close and would be thrown too far back by the shield. Screaming for his son, Remus heard the roar of the fire and the Floo flared brightly, making him close his eyes against the light. There was a squeal and a thud and Remus forced his eyes open. Hermione was kneeling in his living room, looking as terrified as he felt, and holding tightly to a squirming Teddy.
Hermione could barely breathe. She hadn't even thought about it, she had simply thrown herself through the fireplace and grabbed Teddy as he reached her. She didn't know how she had managed it without first throwing in more Floo powder.
"My-nee, owts," Teddy complained, and Hermione realized she was squeezing him too tightly.
"I'm sorry," she said and loosened her hold. She turned to the fireplace and conjured the largest screen she could.
"Fire go?" Teddy asked, as the screen blocked out the flames. Hermione let out a strangled sound, somewhere between a sob and a laugh, and looked towards Remus. He had finally gotten to his feet and was hurrying towards them. He bent and took Teddy from Hermione's arms and held him close. Remus' eyes closed and Hermione could see the emotion on his face. She was sure that if she could hear his heartbeat, it would have been as fast as hers was. She pulled in a breath and let it out, trying to calm herself. She slowly stood and grimaced in pain.
"What have I told you about going near the fire?" Remus demanded of his son. Teddy looked at his father and frowned. A few seconds later, his lip began to tremble, and Hermione saw Remus tighten his arms around the little boy.
"It's all right, Teddy," Remus soothed as Teddy began to cry. "But you have to stay away from the fire. You could get hurt."
"Me owts?" Teddy said through his tears. Remus managed a smile.
"Yes, you could get a very big ouch." Teddy clung to his father and Hermione sunk down onto one of the armchairs. She glanced down at her legs and realized she was bleeding. She must have scraped her knees on the hearth when she came through the Floo.
When Teddy had stopped crying, Remus turned to Hermione.
"Thank you," he said, his voice choked with emotion. She tried to smile at him, but couldn't quite manage it, fear about what could have happened still coursing through her. Not to mention the pain she was in. She nodded instead. Remus frowned and looked at her more closely. His eyes widened when he saw the blood on her jeans.
"Hermione, you're bleeding!" he exclaimed, moving towards her.
"It's fine," she said, trying to wave him off. "I just got a few scrapes."
"Nonsense," Remus said. "Can you hold Teddy?" Hermione nodded, and Remus sat the little boy on her lap. Hermione wrapped her arms around Teddy's middle. Neither she nor Remus wanted him out of their sight.
Remus grasped the leg of her jeans and began to work it up her leg and over her knee. Hermione tried not to focus on the feel of his hands on her leg. Teddy was a good distraction.
"My-nee owts?" he asked as he looked up at her.
"Yes, I hurt my knees," Hermione said. She glanced at Remus who waved his wand to heal the cut, then cleaned the blood from her leg with a soft, cleansing spell.
"Me tiss?" Teddy asked and Hermione couldn't help but smile.
"Of course, you can," she said. "When your daddy is finished." Teddy smiled and his hair shifted to chestnut curls. Hermione hugged the little boy to her and he seemed to be happy enough to sit quietly on her lap while Remus started on her other leg. When he finished, he looked up at her.
"Do you need a pain potion?" he asked, looking concerned.
"No, I'm fine," Hermione said. Remus nodded, his hand still resting on her calf. Hermione cleared her throat and looked down at Teddy.
"How about that kiss now?" she asked. Remus moved back and Hermione immediately missed his touch. She smiled at Teddy as Remus helped him to the floor. Teddy kissed both of her knees and looked up at her with a grin.
"Owts all gone!" he said, throwing his hands up in the air. Hermione smiled and sat forward to pull the legs of her jeans down.
"Thank you, Teddy," she said. "I feel much better." Remus gathered Teddy back into his arms and sat down on the couch, holding him close. The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes until Teddy finally decided he'd had enough cuddling and began to squirm to be put down. Remus set him on his feet and Teddy looked at the screen in front of the fireplace, then gave it a wide berth before he walked towards Hermione's chair. Hermione met Remus' eyes and they both smiled at the toddler.
"My-nee tase?" he asked tentatively and Remus burst into laughter. Teddy startled for a moment and then grinned at his father before starting to giggle. Hermione wasn't sure what was so funny, but the laughter was infectious after the scare they had just had and soon she joined in.
When she and Remus had finally calmed themselves, he gave her a smile that made her insides squirm.
"No more chasing tonight, son," Remus said. "In fact, it's bedtime for you."
"No bed, Daddy!" Teddy insisted. "Pay My-nee."
"You can play with Hermione another time," Remus said. "It's time to say good night and pick out a story." Teddy pouted, but Hermione picked the little boy up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Good night, Teddy."
"My-nee pay," Teddy whined.
"Aren't you tired?" Hermione asked. Teddy shook his head, making the curls he now had bounce around his face. Then he yawned. Hermione laughed.
"Up you get," Remus chuckled and bent down to pick Teddy up.
"No bed," Teddy said around another yawn. Remus said nothing, simply carried the boy towards the stairs. He glanced back at Hermione.
"We can talk after?" he said. Hermione nodded and Remus smiled as they left the room.
When they had gone, Hermione pulled in a breath and let it out. She looked towards the screen over the fireplace and vanished it with a wave of her wand. The fire was still burning slightly in the grate and she stared into the flames.
When Teddy had begun to run towards her while she was in the Floo, Hermione's only thought was to grab hold of him so if they were whisked away in the Floo network, at least she would be with him. It wasn't supposed to be possible to go through the Floo while making a call. The connection had to be broken, more Floo powder thrown into the grate, and the address spoken again. Hermione had no idea how she had ended up in Remus' living room, only that she wanted to get to Teddy and make sure he was safe.
It was likely some kind of accidental magic, sparked by her fear for Teddy. Hermione shuddered at the thought of the little boy stuck in the Floo network all by himself. There would have been no guarantee that whoever's fireplace he came out of would have been friendly. Hermione's heart sped up again at the thought.
After a few minutes, she rose from the chair she was in and began to pace. Increasingly distressing scenarios began running through her mind and her stomach began to churn. She paced until, as quickly as it had come, all the adrenaline she had been running on since she came through the fireplace drained from her. She nearly fell onto the couch and put her face in her hands, tears leaking from her eyes at what could have happened.
Remus stepped outside Teddy's room and leaned against the wall, taking a breath and letting it out. He had no idea how Hermione had made it through the fireplace, but he was beyond grateful that she had. He berated himself for forgetting to set the wards on the Floo after Andromeda left. Gods, he had been so stupid! Teddy was so curious about everything and he had no sense of fear or danger. The situation tonight could have been so much worse.
Remus banged his head back against the wall. He never should have set his wand on the floor. He should have put it back into his pocket or better yet, get some kind of wand holster for his arm like the Aurors wore. If he had been able to cast a shield on the fireplace, none of this would have happened. He banged his head against the wall again, cursing his idiocy.
Pulling in a deep breath, Remus tried to calm himself enough to go back downstairs and talk to Hermione. He didn't think there was any way he could thank her enough for what she had done. If she hadn't been there…Remus shook his head. It would do no good to dwell on that right now. Not while he was still this upset. Teddy was all right, safely tucked in his cot. That was what he needed to focus on.
Remus thought that Teddy might be a bit more cautious around the fireplace, at least for a while. For Remus' part, he would never forget to set the wards again, that much he knew. Shaking his head once more, Remus made his way slowly down the stairs.
When he was only half-way down, he could hear quiet crying. Remus hurried the rest of the way and found Hermione on the couch, her face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking.
"Hermione," he said in concern as he sat down next to her. His voice just seemed to make her cry harder and without a second thought, Remus gathered her into his arms. He held her as she cried, whispering soothing words and rubbing a hand up and down her back.
As he held her, Remus contemplated the intensity of her reaction. She had been well and truly terrified, just as frightened as he had been. He knew that Hermione cared about Teddy, knew that she was fond of him, but Remus hadn't realized just how much she loved his son. The thought made him still his movements. She had thrown herself into the Floo without any thought for what might happen to her, only that she wanted to get to Teddy.
She had told Remus that she would never abandon Teddy, regardless of the outcome of a relationship between the two of them. Remus had wanted to believe her, had believed that she was certain about it, but there had still been the bit of doubt. Now, though, he knew that she wouldn't. No matter what happened between the two of them, Hermione would never let Teddy suffer for it.
She had finally quieted and made to pull away from him, but Remus didn't let her go. Hermione tucked her head underneath his chin and the two of them sat there, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room, as Remus continued to contemplate this new development.
"Remus?" she said a few minutes later, shifting to look up at him.
"Yes?" he replied, realizing how very close together they were sitting. He would have to move less than an inch to kiss her. He heard her breathing speed up. She stared at him and he stared back. Gods, he wanted to kiss her.
But, he shouldn't, really, he shouldn't. His emotions were highly charged right now because of everything that had happened. He had told her his reasons and none of them had changed. Well, that wasn't entirely true. The biggest reason of all, had changed. Teddy would still have Hermione even if Remus didn't. He waited a few more seconds and then closed the remaining distance, brushing his lips over hers. It was barely a kiss, over before it really began. Hermione remained staring up at him.
What the fuck was he doing? He shouldn't be doing this. Even if things had changed with Teddy, Remus was still too old for her, he was still a werewolf. He stared at her again and felt the pull of desire once more. Merlin, he wanted her. When she didn't move, he lowered his mouth to hers once more. But this time, it was Hermione that pulled away.
"Remus," she whispered. "I don't, maybe this isn't a good idea." She looked up at him and he wanted to tell her that yes, this was a very, very good idea. The wolf in his head certainly thought so. She moved away from him another few inches and Remus wanted to follow. But, he didn't. Instead, he simply looked at her.
"You haven't, I mean, nothing is different," she said. "You haven't, you haven't changed your mind?" She glanced up at him as if hoping he might contradict her. But he didn't.
"No," he said, clearing his throat to get the word out. "No, I suppose that I, I haven't." She nodded, not looking as sad as he expected she might.
"I, maybe it would be better if I left," she said.
"Didn't you want to ask me about something?" he said, wanting to keep her here, even if he couldn't have her.
"It can wait," she said. "Maybe you could come to my office sometime this week."
"Your office?" he repeated. She nodded. "Yes, I, of course, I can, I can do that."
"Wednesday afternoon?" she suggested. "When Teddy is taking his nap?" Remus tried to focus his muddled thoughts.
"Yes, I, yes, that should be fine."
"All right, I'll see you then." She stood from the couch and walked towards the fireplace. She looked at it for a moment before she turned around. "Perhaps I'll just Apparate." Remus nodded and followed her to the back door.
"Hermione," he said as she reached it. She turned to look at him and he held her gaze for a few moments. "Thank you." She smiled.
"I'd do it again." And then she was gone, disappearing into the darkness of the back garden. Remus waited until he heard the quiet crack of Apparition before he closed the door. Leaning his forehead against it, he wondered if perhaps he hadn't made a very big mistake.
Hermione arrived in her back garden and let herself into the house before slumping back against the door. Gods, she couldn't believe she had actually managed not to kiss him back. She had wanted to, Merlin had she wanted to, so bloody much it hurt.
But the situation had been too emotionally charged. They had both still been upset about what had happened with Teddy and Hermione suspected that the gratitude Remus was feeling had been driving his actions. As hard as it had been to pull away from him, and it had been, sweet Merlin it had been. When Remus had run his hands up her legs before he healed her cuts, it had only been the presence of Teddy that kept Hermione from throwing herself at him right then.
It was for the best that she had put a stop to things. If Remus didn't change his mind about the two of them, she couldn't get in any deeper than she already was. She couldn't kiss him and then have him reject her again.
Still, she had seen the look on his face when she told him it wasn't a good idea. He had definitely wanted to argue with her. In fact, when she had pulled back, he had leaned forward slightly, as if he was trying to follow her lips. He had given her another heated look just before she left, as well. Hermione smiled softly. There was still hope.