Chapter 29

December 21, T.A 2940

Mid-Morning

Legolas finished his meal without much thought to the food its self, his mind had solely been on his sister that morning. Anariel had returned from her walk through the garden in tears last night, having seen her slip into her room he and his father went to check on her.

Legolas rubbed temples standing from the table, heading for his sister's room having promised to go and check on her that morning. "I'm going to see Anariel," Legolas said to his father at the other end of the table still in deep conversation with Lord Elrond.

"Of course, I will be there soon," Thranduil answered looking up from the papers he and Elrond were now pouring over.

With a bow of his head, Legolas retreated down the hall.

Anariel pulled herself up keeping herself wrapped in her father silken silver robe, her brows narrowed as a crinkling reached her ears. Reaching beneath the cloak her hand fell upon rough parchment pulling the thick folded letter out she looked it over curiously. The large piece of parchment was tied together with a thin twine, pulling it free thin lettering sprawled along the front…Guren vell.

A breath hitched in her throat it had to be Feren, her heart both sunk and began beating furiously. What could this possibly have been, it quickly became apparent that she was utterly fearful of what lay inside.

Still unsure if she wanted to read what he had to say, her finger pulled back the pieces unable to stop.

Princess Anariel,

Guren vell nin,

Please forgive me for all I have done. I fear you are you right, I have kept some of my past from you and while I still do not wish to speak on it I must for my love has grown for you and in foolish ways, I have done nothing but hurt you in the recent weeks to pass. You deserve better than this, guren vell.

The battle in which in Haldir speaks is that of the last Alliance of Elves, a battle long ago and I fear I have been running from it ever since. A battle my father and I left to fight in together, leaving my mother and my brother Lindir behind. At the time he was but an elfling. Neither of us held any true hope on returning to our home of Imraldis, with such in our heart my father had made me promise that no matter what takes place on that field if anything was to happen to him I was to leave him where he lay and return, to not risk myself any further and return home to my mother and brother. To never leave them alone. I kept that word to my father, despite the hatred that followed away from that field. I had to, I swore that fate had already decided it was my father's end and feared the news of his death would be the end of my mother to out of heartbreak. I could not sacrifice myself, not knowing if I could succeed in the task at hand and leave my brother alone.

I understand your fear that I abandoned my family. As I returned it was endless banter from the others, I was at the time new to the field, it being my first war. Many, most really did not see I had any other right to do as I or in truth my father willed. That I was under my commanders will no matter what. It is why so many deemed me dishonourable at the time and still do.

I left Rivendell putting that past behind, but not without my mother's blessings, despite her own heartbreak she knew of my passion and skill on the field she knew little more would come of it in Rivendell and gave me her blessing for me to move on. That is what I did, I left. Leaving people to assume I was now abandoning them as I abandon my father on the field.

I did not know where I was going I had not intentionally headed for your father's lands. I was a young elf then, and was not yet, considered a warrior. I had run into a band of orcs, far too many for just me, especially then. I was beyond injured and was lucky to be alive. Your father who was leading his own people home from the war had helped me…saved me. I would not be alive if not for him. I owed him everything. He brought me back to, what was now his kingdom, healed me and offered me a place to stay. He had listened to everything I had to say when it came to telling my story for him as a king, I left out nothing and King Thranduil gave me a position in his halls. I spent my time thus, as a messenger for the king, and training. I continued my training and earned my way to Chief Marchwarden and as an adviser to him.

Now, you know what happened with your mother, and clearly that of what happened when I found you the two biggest things that happen since then in the realm.

Forgive me for having kept such secrets from you, it will not happen again.

With that out and in the open, there is still more for me to tell you and then I shall leave this in your hands.

I know, or rather I have heard that you see, what is between us as nothing more than some idle infatuation and in truth, it breaks my heart. I understand it has been such a short time since we have met, but I know in my heart that I love you. I know that there will never be another elleth that will set my heart aflame the way you do, my heart is your guren vell, now and always.

You are scared, fearful because you do not know what tomorrow might bring. You were brought into this life that you cannot guess at anymore, thrown into the unknown. And while you utterly drive me mad, with your temper, how calm and at peace, you seem and the next you're done, you longer wish to listen. You just shut me out. Your blunt and confronting at times. You drive me mad, and in truth, it matters little because the sound of your laughter is everything and the way your eyes light up when you smile my heart stops and it's like the rest of the world loses its colour.

I know that you have your heart so well guarded against love, from everyone, you tried to keep it guarded against me too. But, you let me in and I believed when you slowly allowed me in, let me see this soft, beautiful side of you like that night in the kitchens when you showed me how to bake, the night I was blessed to feel your lips on mine. It was the moment I was given the briefest taste of you and knew I'd been starving my entire life. I thought maybe when you told me in the forest that you loved me, you had meant those words that you had entrusted me with your heart I see now that I was wrong. You haven't entrusted your heart to anyone yet, and you may not for awhile. The truth is it hurts, like a rusty dagger to my heart, and it's okay because I will put my love aside, for you.

Take as long as you need, as long as you want. Love whoever your heart guides you to, just promise me you will find happiness and find someone you can entrust your heart to. And should I be lucky enough to have your love in return I promise to always treasure you, I will do everything to keep you safe as my princess but I to will do everything to keep myself safe to spare your heart. For I have come to realize through everything, that you keep your heart so well guarded that no one gets in because you need them, you let them in because you want them there. I hope one day you allow me in, that you want me as much as want and need you.

Know I see your strength you will come to make a beautiful, wise princess.

For now, my princess, I have returned to Eryn Galen and await your arrival back to your kingdom, in hopes to serve you to the best of my abilities.

Chief Marchwarden,

Feren

Anariel's hand came to her mouth, holding back a sob the words hurt as she knew she was no longer just Anariel to him she was no longer his Guren vell. And it hurt, her heart physically ached, her hands shook with the rest of her as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Anariel laid back down, her face buried in the pillows, tears soaking into the fabric beneath her. Why had she allowed herself to get so near him?

Damn him, he was right, she wanted him. But, by the pain in her heart, she couldn't help but question herself all over maybe she did need him like she'd never needed another before.

Legolas entered silently looking at her tear stained face, and the crumpled parchment she held to her chest.

"What is wrong?"

"Do think I am wrong?" She sobbed, tears gathering on the king's cloak.

"Muinthel, you're going to have to explain," Legolas said taking her hand in his, as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

The door to her room opened and closed with a click though she refused to move. Thranduil sighed, sitting down beside his daughter on the edge of her the chaise he brushed the hair from her face glancing to Legolas, who could only shrug not knowing what had happened.

"Please, Muinthel, explain."

Anariel said nothing but held out the letter instead, as Thranduil and Legolas looked it over she dried her eyes on her father cloak.

"Shh, muinlell nin." Thranduil gathered his daughter into his arms hugging her tightly.

"It hurts, Ada," She cried into his shoulder, hugging him back. "Why does it hurt so much?"

"I know, muinlell, I know. Perhaps, you need to consider that this could be love, true love. And that does not mean you must act on it, give it time. Figure out all you wish to first but don't push it away forever." Thranduil knew the pain she felt, and while he did not wish to see her hurt he could watch her put aside everything she needs, wants as an individual. He to knew he would go back and do it all over to feel the love of his wife once more no matter the pain he feels, has felt every day since she was taken from him.

"This is my fault, though, I could have prevented this, I messed up, didn't I?" Anariel cried out in despair, gripping the cloak tighter she wrapped around her shoulders.

"No, muin nin, you did not."

In her heart, she had this horrible aching feeling as though she had made a mistake. A terrible, horrible mistake. She could feel it in her heart, in the very being of her fae and by the gods did it hurt.

Anariel sobbed between heavy, and ragged breaths her eyes glancing up to look at him

"It will get easier to bear over time, but the pain will never leave you. Come you need to eat something. You must continue to take care of yourself." Thranduil said kindly as he helped her to her feet, she nodded letting her father led her.

Thranduil led her to the dining hall, as Legolas offered his sister a kind smile of his own as she sat down beside him.

Their meal passed slowly, and quickly. Anariel forced herself to eat something, though little it was.

Legolas kept a close eye on her while Anariel sat trying desperately to keep the tears out of her eyes.

Author's Note; And now we know Feren's truth. Tell me what you think. Hope you guys enjoy.

Much love,

Ivy

Thank you

Shayde F . Revelle

RemiSparklez