A/N - Hello all! I seem to have written another long chapter, although I'm sure that you won't mind. ;) Thanks so much for reading and continuing to review! Enjoy!

Chapter 48

Surrender

23 February 2000

Remus walked towards Hermione's office, still not convinced this was the best idea. He had continually gone over what had happened the other night and was still berating himself for kissing her again. The fact that it had been Hermione that had pulled away from him, had surprised him. She had been the one that had pushed for a relationship in the first place.

Not that he wasn't glad that she had stopped things before they had gone any further. What he had done wasn't fair to her. Regardless of what he had decided concerning Teddy, all the rest of Remus' reasons still existed. Despite his feelings for her, he couldn't continue to let her think there was a chance for the two of them when he knew that there wasn't.

Isn't there, though? Remus growled under his breath. He was getting very tired of Sirius being in his head.

He's not wrong, another voice said. Fuck. Now James was there too. Wonderful, he was having conversations with his two dead friends in his head. Just what he needed.

"Both of you just shut up," Remus muttered. The witch walking near him turned and gave him a strange look. Remus gave her a tight smile and quickened his pace.

Stepping inside the Wizengamot Administrative Services offices, Remus looked around and saw the crown of Hermione's head bent over her desk to his left. He couldn't help the soft smile that crossed his face. He walked towards her office and Hermione looked up as he approached.

"Remus," she said with a smile. She stood and ushered him into one of the chairs in front of her desk. "I'm glad you could make it." Remus took the offered seat as Hermione closed the door to her office. "How is Teddy?"

"No worse for wear," Remus said as Hermione returned to her desk. "He still seems a bit wary of the fireplace, but that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned." She nodded, her face clouding over for a moment. He saw her shudder.

"Hermione," he said quietly. Her gaze darted back to him. "He is all right."

"I know," she said, giving him an apologetic look.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, Hermione," Remus said, seeing her expression. "I should be the one apologizing."

"For what?" she asked in confusion.

"I forgot to reset the wards on the Floo when Andromeda left," Remus said. "If I hadn't, none of this would have happened." He shook his head, still incredibly angry with himself, even after two days.

"What kind of wards are they?" Hermione asked curiously.

"It's a shield charm of sorts, it doesn't interfere with calls, but Teddy can't touch the fire. If someone is trying to come through completely, a chime sounds. The wards must be dropped before the person can come through, the same if they want to leave."

"And if you don't drop them?"

"Whoever is trying to come through simply won't be able to," Remus explained. "It would be as if there weren't a Floo connection at all. We added them after the last time you called and Teddy ran towards the fireplace." Hermione nodded, remembering that Remus had been there to stop Teddy that time.

"I'm still trying to figure out how you were able to come through so quickly," Remus said. Hermione shrugged.

"It must have been accidental magic, I suppose," she said. "I knew that I needed to grab him before he got to me and I sort of threw myself into the fireplace."

"And injured yourself in the process," Remus said apologetically. He saw her blush and Remus tried not to remember the feel of her legs under his hands. He shifted in his chair.

"Yes, well, I'm just glad I was able to do it."

"As am I," Remus said. "You don't know how grateful I am."

"You don't have to thank me, Remus," she said, blushing still. "I told you that I'd do it again."

"I know you would," he said. They sat in silence and Remus could sense the tension in the air. He looked down at his lap and she pulled in a breath and put a smile on her face.

"You saw Will this morning, didn't you?"

"Yes, I spent about an hour with him, doing a few assessments," Remus replied. "He is quite behind, but I don't think it will take too long for him to catch up, with his reading at least. We didn't go into much else today. He was a bit restless."

"How is he doing? He was in bad shape after the moon," she said biting her lip. Remus felt the urge to remove it from her teeth. Maybe with his own. He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair.

"I know it was difficult for him," he said with a sigh. "But he seemed to be doing much better when I was there. The younger you are, the easier it is to bounce back. And Andromeda is planning to brew him the Wolfsbane, so next month should be better."

"I'm so glad," Hermione said. She smiled at him so warmly, Remus had to avert his gaze.

"So, what was it that you wanted to discuss with me?" Remus asked.

"Are you familiar with the werewolf laws in France?" she questioned.

"Not the particulars, but I have a general idea, yes," Remus said. "In fact, just before Albus offered me the Defense job, I was thinking about moving there." Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. "My father had passed a few months before and at that time, there really was nothing holding me in England anymore." His mother had died just after he left Hogwarts and while Remus and his father had never been close, Remus felt an obligation to check on him from time to time. His father had been shattered after Remus' mother died and had basically drank himself to death.

"I can see why you would have wanted to," Hermione said. "But I'm glad you didn't." Remus couldn't help but smile. "We wouldn't have won the war without you." His smile faltered.

'Of course, she didn't mean she was glad for herself.' Remus rebuked himself in his head. She was forgetting about him, like he'd told her to.

"Yes, well, I doubt that's true," he said. "But back to the French laws." Hermione began to explain what she had learned and what she hoped to implement in Britain. Remus had to admire her commitment; some of these laws would take years, perhaps decades to get passed, if they ever did at all. He supposed a few generations from now, when the war was nothing but a distant memory, that there might be enough shift in public sentiment, but for now, he doubted that much progress would be made. Not while there were still werewolf packs roaming the country.

"I know we're going to have to start small," Hermione was saying. "But I have a meeting with Professor McGonagall tomorrow to talk about starting the seminar at Hogwarts beginning next fall. Of course, we'll need someone to teach it."

"I'm sure that any of the professors could handle it. Well, perhaps not Sybill," Remus said with a smirk. Hermione laughed and the sound warmed him inside.

"I was thinking that I might recommend you," Hermione said. Remus stared at her in shock. "Who better to teach about prejudice against werewolves than someone who has actually experienced it?"

"Hermione, I don't think that's a good idea," Remus said.

"Why not?"

"Because my secret is no longer a secret, as you well know."

"You tutored students last year and the previous spring," she pointed out.

"Yes, but Minerva made sure that the parents were all right with it first," Remus said. "And there were more than a few parents that refused to allow me to work with their children. If you are planning on making this class mandatory, it would not be a good idea for me to teach it."

"I disagree," Hermione said. "I think that is the perfect reason for you to teach it."

"And what will you do, what will Minerva do, when parents refuse to allow their children to attend? If your goal is to instruct the younger generations against prejudices, to make them change their minds about what they may have been taught at home, you cannot do it if those children aren't even in the class." Truly, Remus was a bit surprised. Hermione was a logical, intelligent witch. She should realize that having him teach the class would immediately put it in jeopardy.

"Don't fail before you've even gotten started over sentiment," he said. Hermione looked at him, confused at first. Then her eyes narrowed.

"You think I want you to teach this class because of my personal feelings for you?" she demanded.

"Don't you?" Remus replied, knowing that it was the wrong thing to say even as the words were leaving his mouth. Splendid move there, Moony, Sirius' voice drawled in his head.

"Of course not!" she snapped. "I want you to teach it because you're an excellent teacher and because you have a personal insight that no one else would!"

Remus looked down at his lap. One of his reasons for not pursuing a relationship with Hermione had been because he had difficulty finding employment. If he had a job, it would be one less reason to reject her. But he shouldn't have immediately assumed that was the reason she wanted to recommend him to teach. That wasn't the way Hermione did things.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I shouldn't have suggested...that."

"No, you shouldn't have," Hermione said shortly, mouth in a thin line. She was angry, which she had every right to be.

"Perhaps, I should just go." She looked up at him in surprise and then she sighed sadly, the anger fading.

"If that's what you want," Hermione said. Remus nodded as he stood, and she looked even more disappointed.

"I am sorry, Hermione," Remus said as he stood. "For what it's worth, I think all of your ideas are outstanding. I wish you luck." She looked up at him.

"I just want everyone to be treated fairly," she said quietly. He nodded and gave her a sad smile. As he reached the door, she spoke again. "I'm still going to suggest that Professor McGonagall hire you." He looked back at her, feeling his heart squeeze in his chest.

"Thank you." And then he stepped out of her office, closing the door behind him. As he walked to the lifts, he realized that he might have finally succeeded in driving Hermione away from him. And the thought made him miserable.

Hermione sighed as she laid back on the couch, Crookshanks resting on her stomach. She idly scratched his back as she thought back to her conversation with Remus. She hadn't been all that surprised that he had tried to discourage her from recommending him to Professor McGonagall. But she had been shocked when he'd accused her of doing so for personal reasons.

Hermione knew that he had regretted it, even as he was saying it. But it hadn't made her any less angry. If she had been constantly throwing herself at him since their conversation after she returned from France, then she might have understood his suspicion. But she hadn't been. For Merlin's sake, it was her that had pushed him away the other night. And the fact that he'd just left instead of trying to talk it out with her had been almost as upsetting.

He wasn't wrong in thinking that if he had a job, it would be one less reason for him to push her away, but she certainly hadn't been thinking that when she thought of him for the teaching job. It was just a bit of a bonus. She sighed again.

Hermione had thought after the kiss the other night, that perhaps Remus might be moving towards changing his mind. But after today, she wasn't so sure. Maybe it really was time to move on. She hadn't missed the way that Margaret's assistant had been eyeing her since she first started working there. She was sure he would accept if she asked him to lunch.

"What should I do, Crooks?" The cat looked at her as if he couldn't care less what she did, as long as she didn't stop scratching him.

Hermione wished that Ginny were home. It would have been nice to be able to talk this out with someone. She could send a letter, but it wouldn't be the same. Hermione thought about calling her mum, but she would have to give her mother details and Hermione wasn't sure she was ready to do that yet.

Groaning, Hermione turned to her side, dislodging Crookshanks, who meowed loudly and flicked his tail at her before he stalked off into the kitchen. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

28 February 2000

"So, how was the Board of Governors meeting?" Remus asked, once Teddy had been put to bed and Remus and Andromeda were settled in the living room.

"Quite informative," Andromeda said with a twinkle in her eye. Remus' brow furrowed in confusion. "Did you plan to tell me that Hermione had recommended you for a teaching position?"

"Oh, that," Remus said.

"Yes, that," Andromeda replied. "Minerva was a bit surprised that I did not know about it already."

"Hermione mentioned it to me, but I wasn't sure she was serious." Andromeda looked at him quizzically.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Remus didn't respond. What was he supposed to say? That Hermione might have decided not to suggest him because he had acted like a complete arse about the whole thing?

"We, ah, had a bit of a disagreement," Remus said. Andromeda frowned.

"About what?"

"The job," Remus said, wishing he had a glass of Firewhiskey.

"How so?"

"I didn't think it was a good idea." Andromeda was silent. When Remus looked at her, she seemed…angry. He was confused as to why, however. "Andromeda?"

"When are you going to stop behaving as if you do not deserve anything?" Andromeda demanded. "It is getting quite tedious, Remus." Remus was taken aback.

"I, I, that's not what," he began, but Andromeda cut him off.

"Isn't it?" she said. "Is it not the very same reason that you have also not pursued another relationship?" Remus' mouth dropped open in shock. Surely, she couldn't know about his feelings for Hermione. No, of course, not, she must be talking about Emily. But she hadn't seemed surprised or upset when Remus told her it wasn't going to work out with Emily.

"I explained that I wasn't ready to date after I had dinner with Emily," Remus said. Andromeda snorted.

"I am not speaking of Emily," she said. Remus' heart started to beat faster in his chest.

"Then, I don't understand," he managed. Andromeda looked at him, her eyes boring into his.

"I am talking about your feelings for Hermione." Remus felt all the blood drain from his face. She couldn't know! Had she seen him kiss Hermione at Christmas? He had sworn that Andromeda and Molly were involved in their conversation and they couldn't have seen Remus and Hermione from where they were sitting anyway. But how else would she know? Andromeda laughed.

"As I have told you before, I am a Black, darling," she said, sounding eerily like Narcissa at that moment. She flicked her wand and a bottle of Firewhiskey and two glasses came zooming in from the kitchen. She poured them each a generous measure and then handed one to Remus. She took a sip of hers and then smirked, smirked, at him.

"And it is not as if you were very good at hiding it." Remus nearly dropped his glass and she chuckled. Remus felt like he couldn't breathe.

"It's not, I haven't," he paused and pulled in a breath, before raking a hand through his hair. "It isn't going to happen."

"And why not?" Andromeda asked, taking another sip of her drink. Remus stared at her and wondered how much stranger this night was going to get. He took a gulp of his whiskey to try and steady himself.

"You, you can't possibly," he began, then shook his head. "You can't support this?" She sighed.

"I am Pureblood from an ancient house that gave up everything to marry a Muggle-born," she said. "Not to mention I supported my daughter's marriage to you. What makes you think I would object to Hermione?"

"It's not Hermione that I thought you would object to," he muttered.

"You did not think I would want you to be happy?"

"No, that's not it, I just, there's Teddy to consider and," he began but she cut him off.

"Hermione is wonderful with Teddy. And after the way that she rescued him the other night with no thought for herself, well, it is obvious that she loves him." Remus scrubbed a hand down his face. He couldn't believe they were having this conversation.

"You don't think that the age difference is a problem?"

"You were thirteen years older than my daughter, if you recall," Andromeda said dryly. Remus shook his head.

"I just, I can't, Andromeda."

"Why?"

"Because, she's, she's Hermione," he finally said. "She's a third of the 'Golden Trio', a war heroine." He stood from his chair and began to pace. "She is going to do so many wonderful things at the Ministry and for our world. I can't, I can't hold her back."

"And how would you be doing that?" Andromeda asked.

"Because of what I am," Remus said, a bit more viciously than he intended. "It is the same reason why I tried to push Dora away for so long. By marrying me, I forced her into hiding and likely got her killed."

"No!" Andromeda said forcefully, standing to her full height in front of him and cutting off his pacing. "Nymphadora was killed because my Pureblood supremacist sister held a personal grudge against my family, not to mention the fact that she was an insane lunatic. With a Muggle-born for a father and a disowned Black for a mother, as well as being a member of the Order, Nymphadora was already a target. Bellatrix was not going to rest until the lot of us were eradicated. I forbid you to put this on yourself!" She poked him in the chest for good measure. Remus sighed and slumped back into his chair.

"I am not good enough for her."

"A sentiment many men share about the women they love," Andromeda said with a sniff. Remus looked up at her in surprise. He hadn't said anything about being in love with Hermione. Andromeda winked.

"Is there anything you don't know?" he groaned.

"Not much," she quipped. Remus allowed a smile to cross his face for a few moments before he frowned again.

"None of this matters," he said.

"Don't you think the woman in question should have some say in that?"

"We've already talked about it," he said. Andromeda looked surprised at this. Well, at least she didn't know everything. But her comment insinuated that she also thought Hermione had feelings for him.

"How did you know?" he asked. She laughed.

"The two of you are not as covert about it as you think," she said. "Although, Hermione is a bit better at hiding it than you are." Remus bristled at this. He had gone undercover in the werewolf packs for Merlin's sake. He did just fine at hiding his emotions. Andromeda smirked again.

"I am sure that Hermione was not as convinced that the two of you did not belong together."

"No," Remus admitted. "But, it's better this way."

"For whom?"

"For her."

"And why would keeping the man she loves away from her be better for her."

"She doesn't love me," he said. "It's just a, a crush. She'll get over it and find someone more suitable." Andromeda sighed in exasperation.

"She's already likely on her way to doing that, anyway," Remus muttered, but Andromeda heard him.

"Why is that?" He shook his head.

"I told you, we had a disagreement." Andromeda's eyes narrowed.

"Why do I suspect that means you said something incredibly idiotic?" Remus snorted.

"Likely because I did."

"I am sure you can fix it."

"I might be able to, but I'm not going to." Andromeda sighed again. She sat down in the chair across from his and took his hands in hers.

"Remus, you have had the good fortune to find love twice in your lifetime. Please do not squander that because you think you do not deserve it. If you didn't, you would not have found it in the first place."

"Andromeda, I-" Remus began, but she squeezed his hands to silence him.

"Please think about this," she said. "Nymphadora would not want you to spend the rest of your life alone."

"I'm not alone."

"I know you have Teddy and you have me, but that is not what I am talking about and you know it." She forced him to meet her gaze.

"I know," he said with a sigh.

"Being with you did not ruin my daughter's life. On the contrary, I had never seen her so happy, even with the war going on. It would not ruin Hermione's life either. Promise me that you will think about it." Remus studied her for a few moments.

"Why are you so insistent about this?"

"Because, Remus, you are a good man that deserves happiness. I refuse to let you believe otherwise." Remus looked away. She squeezed his hands again. "Promise me."

"All right, I promise," he said with a sigh. She smiled and put a hand to his cheek, patting it gently before she stood.

"I have told Minerva that I will abstain from voting on your appointment as teacher for the new seminar, as I am obviously biased. However, in private, I told her that she would be a fool not to hire you." Remus smiled.

"The class is a definite then?"

"Not yet," Andromeda said. "Most of the board seemed receptive, but those that objected were not quiet about it. There will be a formal vote next week." Remus nodded. She sent her glass of Firewhiskey and the bottle back into the kitchen.

"I think I will go up to bed," she said. Remus nodded, his thoughts already drifting. She squeezed his shoulder. "Good night, Remus."

"Good night."

Remus sat in the chair staring into the fire long after Andromeda had retired, her words ringing in his ears.

4 March 2000

Hermione and Will landed outside the gates to the Harpies' stadium. Harry had collected Rachel and Paul from Hogwarts and they were all meeting in Harry's box. Will's eyes were wide in astonishment as he looked around.

"This is amazing," he said in awe. Hermione smiled.

"Wait until you see the view from the box," she said, putting an arm around his shoulders and leading him to the entrance.

"How are things going with your studies?" she asked as they climbed the stairs towards the luxury boxes. Will shrugged.

"Okay," he said. "I like it when Mr. Lupin teaches me outside."

"Outside?" Hermione repeated. Will nodded.

"Yesterday we did sums and he let me use rocks to help figure it out. And then we went for a walk in the woods and he asked me how to spell things that he pointed out." Hermione hid a smile. She knew from speaking with Caroline that Will wasn't overly keen on his tutoring sessions. Of course, Remus would have found a way to keep Will more interested.

"He said I'm doing really well," Will said, looking a bit shy about admitting it.

"That's great, Will. I knew you could do it." Will smiled at her and after one more flight of stairs, they reached Harry's box. Hermione stopped before they went inside.

"Remember that I told you there will be quite a few people here," she said. "If you get uncomfortable or need a minute, just tell me and we can go somewhere else, okay?" Will nodded. Caroline had told her that Will got uneasy amongst crowds. She had found out the day she took him to Diagon Alley for new clothes. Hermione had warned the Weasleys ahead of time, as well, so hopefully it wouldn't be too much of an issue.

Will stuck close to her side as they walked into the box. Harry had already arrived with Will's siblings and the boy looked relieved as Paul and Rachel greeted him. Introductions were made to everyone else that had already arrived and soon, Rachel, Paul and Will were sitting in the front row of seats, watching as the rest of the fans arrived. Hermione couldn't help but look up every time the door opened, hoping to see Remus. Harry had extended an open invitation to everyone in the family for all of Ginny's home games, but Hermione had no idea if Remus was planning on attending today or not.

She hadn't spoken to him since that day in her office. She had given her presentation to the Board of Governors last Monday and the vote on whether to include the seminar in the curriculum would be the following Tuesday. If they approved it, Hermione assumed that Minerva would offer Remus the job, as all hiring decisions were completely at the Headmistress' discretion. Hermione really hoped that the Board showed a bit more forward-thinking than they had when she was in school. Of course, there were new members, members she knew that were supportive of her idea, Andromeda and Augusta Longbottom among them. Some of the old guard, though, were still stuck in past prejudices. She only hoped that Minerva could make them see sense.

"Looking for someone?" Harry asked as he came up beside her.

"What?" Hermione said, startled.

"You keep looking at the door," Harry said. His brow furrowed. "You all right?"

"I'm fine," Hermione said quickly.

"Are you sure?" Harry still looked concerned. Hermione put a smile on her face and nodded.

"Yes, Harry, I'm fine, honest." He stared at her for another few seconds, not looking convinced. Hermione looked towards Will and his brother and sister. "I'm so glad you did this for them."

"They needed it," Harry said as Will laughed at something Paul said. Hermione smiled fondly.

"Yeah, they did," she agreed.

"I was thinking that we should invite David, Annie and Claire to a match this summer," Harry said. Hermione's smile widened.

"You are a wonderful man, Harry Potter." Harry shrugged, looking embarrassed.

"There are plenty of seats," Harry said. "Even if everyone shows up. It would be silly for them to go to waste." Hermione put her arm through Harry's and rested her head on his shoulder. He could make as many logical arguments as he liked, but she knew the real reason was simply that he liked to help people. Harry's arm wrapped around her shoulders and Hermione suddenly felt like crying. She blinked quickly, staving off the tears. She was being far too emotional.

In the end, the Harpies had just pulled out a win, squeaking past the Arrows 310-300. Harry had returned Rachel and Paul to Hogwarts and Hermione had taken Will home. He had been talking nonstop their entire trip out of the stadium and only stopped the moment they Disapparated. As soon as they had landed outside his house, he started again. Hermione could help but laugh.

Remus hadn't come to the match, which had only managed to make Hermione feel even more melancholy as the afternoon went on. She was being ridiculous; Remus hadn't come to any games since Ginny's first one. It was silly to expect that he would be here today. But she couldn't help her disappointment. It didn't help that everyone else in the box, besides the Burke children, were paired off. Ron had invited Susan and the two of them were so adorably smitten with each other, it made Hermione want to cry.

She knew she wasn't hiding it well from Ron and Harry, both of whom had been casting furtive glances at her the entire time. Even Susan had asked her if she was all right. They had acted reassured when Hermione smiled and told them there was nothing wrong, but she knew they weren't really. She was just glad they didn't push her to talk about it. Harry had all but begged her to come back to Grimmauld Place after she took Will home, but Hermione had declined. She couldn't be around two happy couples right now. She just wanted to go home and go to bed.

After letting herself into the house and giving Crookshanks a treat, she made her way upstairs. She had almost reached the second floor when she heard the Floo flare. Turning around, Hermione heard Ginny calling her name and she sighed, making her way back downstairs.

"Hey, Gin," Hermione said as she stepped into the room.

"Why didn't you come over?" Ginny demanded.

"I was just tired," Hermione said. "I wanted to go to bed."

"Hermione, it's only half eight. And it's Saturday, you don't have to work tomorrow."

"I'm just not up to it tonight." Ginny stared at her for a minute.

"Look out, I'm coming through." Hermione sighed again and stepped away from the Floo. Moments later, Ginny was stepping out of it. She grabbed Hermione's hand and towed her to the couch.

"Now tell me what is going on."

"It's nothing, really," Hermione said, but she couldn't look Ginny in the eye. "You should go home. Harry hasn't seen you for two weeks."

"Harry can wait," Ginny said with a wave of her hand. "Besides, he knows I'll shag him later, no matter what time I get home." Hermione didn't even crack a smile.

"Okay, now I know something's wrong," Ginny said. "You didn't even give me a groan of disappointment for being crass." Hermione tried, she really did, but she couldn't stop the tears that gathered. "Hermione, what is going on?"

Hermione took a shuddering breath and proceeded to explain to Ginny everything that had happened since she rescued Teddy. After Hermione had finished recounting their argument in her office, Ginny frowned.

"And you haven't spoken to him since?"

"No," Hermione said in a small voice.

"Have you tried to?"

"No."

"Why not?" Ginny asked.

"Because I told you that I wasn't going to chase him," Hermione said, resting her head on the back of the couch and looking up at the ceiling.

"I know that, but I think you should try to talk to him."

"Why?" Hermione said, shaking her head. "It's obvious that he doesn't want to talk to me."

"I don't think that's true," Ginny began, but Hermione cut her off.

"Why not?" she demanded. "He's had more than a week and I've heard nothing."

"Hermione, I think he might be waiting for you."

"What?" Hermione said in confusion.

"Look, you were the one that was angry after what he said."

"I had every right to be!" Hermione exclaimed indignantly.

"I'm not saying that you didn't, but you said that he apologized in your office, twice in fact. He may not have tried to contact you because he thinks you're still upset." Hermione opened her mouth to retort, then closed it again. "He's probably waiting to see if you even want to speak to him again."

"Damn," Hermione swore. Ginny was probably right.

"So, call him."

"I don't know, Ginny," Hermione said with a sigh.

"You don't know what?"

"Should it really be this hard?" Hermione asked.

"Are you saying that your feelings have changed?"

"No. But I just, I don't know if I can keep doing this. I keep getting my hopes up and then he changes his mind again. It, it hurts, Gin. I don't, I can't, I," she trailed off, shaking her head.

"Hermione," Ginny said sadly, wrapping her arms around her friend. "I'm sorry." Hermione cried into Ginny's shoulder, the emotional ups and downs of the last few weeks finally reaching their breaking point.

"You know, when Harry broke things off with me after Dumbledore's funeral, it was so hard. And there were times when I wanted to give up and forget about him. Because it hurt, so much." Hermione sat back, still sniffling. "But, I couldn't, in the end. And now look at us. Getting married and everything." Hermione managed a smile.

"It's different," Hermione finally said. "You and Harry, you'd already dated, and you knew why he broke things off. Remus and I, he hasn't even given us a chance."

"That's true, but the rest of it isn't so different. Even though I knew why Harry broke up with me, it didn't mean I agreed with him. In fact, I thought he was being quite stupid. A sentiment I believe you share." Hermione snorted.

"Harry never stopped loving you," Hermione said.

"And you think Remus has forgotten about his feelings for you?" Ginny asked.

"He doesn't love me, Gin."

"So you say," Ginny said with a shrug. Hermione rolled her eyes. That was ridiculous. Remus might fancy her, but he didn't love her.

"The circumstances are different," Hermione persisted. "I mean, we were in the middle of a war back then. Harry didn't have a choice, but to go hunt for Horcruxes." Instead of arguing, Ginny changed the subject.

"You're going to Remus' birthday dinner, aren't you?" Hermione blew out a breath. Andromeda had decided to have a small gathering for Remus' birthday next Friday and Hermione had been invited.

"I hadn't decided."

"I think you should."

"I don't know, Ginny," Hermione said, shaking her head.

"What if the reason he hasn't gotten in touch with you is because he thinks you're still angry?" she said. "You don't want to throw away the possibility of a relationship because of a misunderstanding, do you?" Hermione shrugged.

"I think you should give it one more chance." Hermione bit her lip. The truth was, she really didn't want to give up on Remus. She just wasn't sure how much more heartache she could take. Still, what Ginny said had merit.

"All right," Hermione finally said. "But this is it, Gin. I can't, I can't do it again."

"I know." Ginny hugged her again. "You're sure you won't come over?"

"No," Hermione said. "I really am tired. Go home and shag your fiancé." Ginny grinned.

"Don't mind if I do," she said with a waggle of her eyebrows and Hermione laughed. Ginny stood and walked to the Floo. She turned around before she threw the Floo powder into the grate.

"It's going to be all right, Hermione." Hermione felt her eyes fill again.

"I know." Ginny smiled at her and then disappeared into the Floo.

8 March 2000

Harry and Ginny walked into the house, Teddy riding on Harry's back. Remus smiled as Ginny handed him Teddy's bag.

"Everything go all right?" he asked.

"Of course, it did," Harry said, swinging Teddy around to his front as Teddy giggled. "My godson is the perfect child." Remus made a mental note to Floo Harry the next time Teddy was throwing one of his tantrums.

"Ha-wy, pay me!" Teddy said. Harry laughed.

"I played with you all day, mate." Teddy stuck his lip out in a pout.

"Pay, Ha-wy," Teddy whined.

"All right, but only for a few minutes," Harry said. Remus shook his head as Harry carried Teddy into the living room.

"I certainly hope he isn't such a push-over when you have your own children," Remus said.

"Oh, I'm quite sure he will be," Ginny said with a laugh. Remus chuckled. "Actually, this gives me a moment to talk to you."

"Teddy really wasn't the angel that Harry says he was?" Remus asked, sure that his son had gotten into some kind of mischief.

"No, Teddy was fine," Ginny replied. "He really is a sweet little boy."

"All right, then," Remus said, wondering just what it was Ginny wanted to talk to him about.

"You're going to lose her, Remus." Remus looked at Ginny in confusion.

"Sorry?" Ginny glanced into the living room to make sure Harry was occupied with Teddy. She lowered her voice.

"Hermione, you're going to lose her."

"I don't, I don't know what you're talking about," Remus said, shifting nervously.

"Let's not pretend that I don't know about your feelings for her," Ginny said, crossing her arms in front of her. "I promised Hermione that I wouldn't meddle anymore, but you need to know that if you don't do something, you're going to lose her."

Remus stared at Ginny in shock. So, she had orchestrated things that afternoon back in January. He'd had his suspicions, but when Hermione never said anything about it, Remus had forgotten it.

"That's all I'm going to say, except, don't be stupid." With that, she turned and walked into the living room, leaving Remus stunned into silence.

10 March 2000

Remus sighed as looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was forty years old and lately he had felt every minute of it. His conversation with Andromeda had run through his mind all week. Ginny's words the other day had unnerved him a bit. Obviously, Hermione was still upset about the argument they'd had in her office. He hadn't tried to contact her since, wanting to give her time to decide if she could forgive him or not. He figured that she would let him know once she had made up her mind. But given what Ginny had said, maybe Hermione was waiting for him to get in touch with her.

He sighed. Everything had gotten so complicated and he wasn't sure what he should do about it. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He knew what he wanted to do about it, but he still hadn't convinced himself it was the right thing. Remus didn't think that his happiness was worth whatever damage he would do to Hermione's reputation.

Knowing that he had Andromeda's approval, actually made things more difficult. Before, when he had been concerned with what his mother-in-law would say, along with all his other reasons, it had been easier to convince himself that he shouldn't act on his feelings for Hermione.

Now, though, his reservations were falling one by one. He had Andromeda's support and with Ginny's, likely Harry's as well. Hermione loved Teddy and Remus was no longer concerned that she would abandon the little boy if things didn't work about between the two of them. And it looked as if he just might have a job come the fall.

Hermione's seminar had not been approved by the Board of Governors just yet. The vote that was supposed to take place earlier in the week had been postponed due to the concern of two older members. Andromeda had told him that they were simply trying to delay the inevitable as the rest of the board members were intent on voting for the class. Still, Minerva had agreed to move the vote to the following week, even as she promised Andromeda that she intended to offer Remus the job. It was only part-time, of course, but it was more than he had now.

Even with some of his reasons falling by the wayside, there was still one of the biggest and that was public opinion. Despite her war heroine status, Hermione was at a disadvantage being a Muggle-born. There were plenty of people in the Wizarding world that still held on to their prejudices, regardless of the outcome of the war. Dating a werewolf, an old werewolf at that, would not earn her any favors from the very people she needed them from.

Sighing and shaking his head, Remus forced all thoughts of Hermione from his mind and went to join Teddy and Andromeda for breakfast.

Hermione looked in the mirror one last time. She had second-guessed herself all day and had gotten hardly anything done at work as a result.

Her plan to act normally around Remus and wait for him to come to his senses had been fine, at first. It was hard, yes, but she'd managed it. Until he had kissed her the night everything had happened with Teddy. Hermione hadn't been upset about that, in fact, she'd been encouraged, until the afternoon in her office when Remus had once again pretended as if nothing had happened. Hermione didn't think she could pretend anymore.

Not that it would be any easier to try and get over her feelings. In fact, it would likely be even worse. Hermione groaned. Why had she had to fall for Remus?

Sighing, Hermione left the loo and headed for her back garden. She had taken to Apparating anywhere she could after the incident with the Floo. It wasn't that she was nervous about Flooing, it was just that it reminded her of Remus. Something she tried to minimize as much as she could. The problem was, too many things reminded her of Remus these days.

Shaking her head, she pulled in a breath and let it out, then turned and disappeared with a quiet crack.

Remus looked around the room at everyone talking and laughing with one another. While he appreciated that Andromeda wanted to celebrate his birthday, given his current mental state, the last thing he really wanted was a party. He hadn't been able to stop glancing at Hermione all night and he had seen the knowing looks on both Ginny's and Andromeda's faces when they caught him at it. Hermione had greeted him and wished him a happy birthday when she arrived but hadn't made any other move to speak with him since she'd been here. Although, he hadn't made any move to speak with her either.

He had caught her looking at him once and when his gaze had met hers, she had given him a sad smile and looked away. Remus wasn't sure what that look meant, but it had made his gut twist all the same. He wanted to speak to her, but a crowded party wasn't really an atmosphere conducive to a serious conversation.

Teddy had been put to bed before the party began, both he and Andromeda knowing that they would have never gotten the boy down once everyone began to arrive. Remus had cast a silencing charm on his room so that the noise wouldn't bother him. The monitoring charm had been cast, so that Remus would know if Teddy woke. There was no reason to check on him, but Remus found himself slipping away from the party all the same.

Hermione glanced at the clock on the mantel and decided that she had been here long enough to be able to excuse herself and leave. Remus had avoided her the entire night and hadn't so much as looked her way except that one time. She had hoped that he might come and talk to her after she had smiled at him, but he had turned and started speaking with Arthur instead. She had to accept the fact that things simply were not going to happen between the two of them. The thought made her immeasurably sad.

Hermione looked around and spotted Ginny across the room. Hermione made her way towards the younger woman and caught her eye. Ginny excused herself from her conversation and walked to Hermione, taking her arm and pulling her into a corner of the living room.

"Please don't say you're leaving," Ginny said.

"What's the point of staying?" Hermione replied. "He hasn't made any attempts to talk to me."

"Hermione," Ginny began, but Hermione shook her head, cutting Ginny off.

"Don't, Gin, please. I just, I need to go." Ginny looked at her sadly and Hermione had to take a deep breath to keep from crying.

"At least say good-bye to him."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Hermione said, even as Ginny began to search the room.

"I don't see him anywhere, maybe he went to the kitchen to get more drinks or something," Ginny said. Hermione saw Andromeda across the room.

"I'll just say good-bye to Andromeda, she can tell him," Hermione said.

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked.

"Yes," Hermione said. "It's, I just have to." Ginny hugged Hermione.

"I'll come over tomorrow and we can talk." Hermione nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

She turned and walked across the room to Andromeda, who was talking to Molly.

"Andromeda," Hermione said. "Thank you for inviting me, but I think I'm going to head home."

"Already, dear?" Molly questioned.

"Yes, I, it's been a long week at work and I'm a bit, tired," Hermione said.

"Have you told Remus you are leaving?" Andromeda asked.

"No, I couldn't find him," Hermione said. "Would you let him know?"

"You know, I suspect he has gone to check on Teddy," Andromeda said. "I'm sure you will find him upstairs if you would like to tell him yourself." That was the last thing Hermione wanted to do, but at the looks on the two older women's faces, she knew she didn't have much choice without Molly, at least, asking questions. Biting back a sigh, Hermione smiled.

"All right, I'll check there then. Thank you."

As she walked into the kitchen, Hermione contemplated just leaving anyway, but her guilty conscience wouldn't let her. Grumbling, she began to climb the stairs towards Teddy's bedroom.

Remus stepped out into the corridor, closing Teddy's door behind him. His son was sleeping soundly, of course, there had been no reason to check on him except that Remus had wanted an escape. He wished again that he had been able to dissuade Andromeda from this party. He definitely wasn't in the right mood for it.

Remus sighed and moved towards the stairs. He had better get back before Andromeda came looking for him.

"Remus." Remus glanced up and saw Hermione standing in front of him. He swallowed, unable to take his eyes off her, but unable to speak either. She waited for a few moments and then her eyes clouded over a bit.

"I, Andromeda told me you might be up here, and I just wanted to, to say good-bye."

"You're leaving?" Remus said, wanting to beg her to stay. She nodded.

"I, yes, I, I'm," she paused and shook her head. "I need to go."

"But, it's early yet," Remus said lamely.

"I know, but it's been a long week and I'm, I'm tired." She looked up at him and Remus suspected she was talking about more than just being physically tired. He stared at her, but didn't say anything, even as James and Sirius were screaming at him in his head. Don't let her leave, you daft prat! and For fuck's sake, Moony, don't be a twat!

"Oh, well, thank you for coming." There were twin groans in his head and Remus shook his head to try and clear it. She gave him another one of those sad smiles and then she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. She lingered for a moment and Remus' eyes closed, drinking in the scent of her.

"Good-bye, Remus." She turned to leave and Remus knew that she wasn't just telling him good-bye for the evening. He opened his mouth to call her back, but the words stuck in his throat.

"You're going to lose her." Ginny's words echoed in his head and then, suddenly, his feet were moving. He couldn't let her leave, not yet.

"Wait, please," Remus said, putting a hand on her shoulder. Hermione looked back at him, sorrow on her face. He turned her towards him and hesitated for a moment before lowering his mouth to hers. She gasped and Remus pulled back, looking at her in concern. She stared at him for a few seconds before putting a hand behind his head and pulling him towards her, kissing him again. He deepened the kiss, groaning when her tongue touched his.

Before he knew what was happening, Remus had her backed up against the wall, pressing his body into hers. Hermione had tangled her hands in his hair while he devoured her mouth. She shifted against the wall, bringing the two of them impossibly closer together. He thought he just might stand here and kiss her forever when he heard a laugh from downstairs. Suddenly remembering where they were and how many people were only a floor away, Remus broke the kiss.

"Fucking hell," he said. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily as she ran a hand up his chest, the other still playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He shuddered.

"Hermione, we have to, we can't," he couldn't form coherent words. He took another breath. "We have to stop." Her hands immediately stilled and then she tensed. She tried to move away from him, but there was nowhere for her to go, pressed against the wall as she was.

"Oh," she said in a small voice. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, which she swiped at angrily. Remus' brow furrowed. Why was she upset? Did she regret what had just happened? She pushed on his chest and he moved away from her, still confused.

"I think it's best if we don't see each other for a while," she said, her voice clipped despite her tears. "I'll visit Teddy when he's with Harry."

"Hermione, what?" Remus said, completely bewildered. Had he completely misread the situation? He hadn't forced her, had he? Horror crossed his face at the thought. But no, she had been the one to pull him back when he stopped after he had first kissed her. She turned back towards him, anger plain on her face.

"You can't kiss me like that and then tell me we can't be together," she snapped. "I'm not a toy you can play with when it's convenient." Remus' mouth dropped open. What was she talking about? He'd never said…but then he thought about what he had said after he'd stopped kissing her and realized. She thought…fuck.

"No, Hermione," he said, but she was already walking away from him. "Hermione, wait." She ignored him, but Remus reached her just before she got to the stairs. "Please, wait."

"Why?" she demanded. "So you can make me feel worse?

"No," he said, "I'm sorry, but you misunderstood." She snorted in disgust.

"I don't think there was much to misunderstand." Remus could hear Andromeda's voice in the kitchen and he drew his wand and cast a Muffliato around them. Hermione glared at him.

"I didn't stop because I wanted to," he said. Her expression didn't change and he wanted to gather her into his arms and show her just how much he didn't want to stop. "I stopped because there is a party going on downstairs." He stared at her and her expression faltered for a moment.

"Hermione, I," he paused. They really needed to have a conversation, but now was not the time or the place for it. Still, he couldn't let her leave thinking the way she was right now.

"I don't, I don't want to…run away anymore," he finally said. She looked at him sharply and he tried to show her with just a look that he was sincere. He must have been successful because her lips parted and she hitched in a breath.

"You, you don't?"

"No." Hermione stared at him for another minute, then threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again. Remus gladly returned it and soon he had her pressed up against the wall once more.

"Bloody hell," he said, forcing himself to pull away from her for the second time. "My birthday party is still going on." She laughed against his chest. He chuckled as well, even as he wrapped his arms more tightly around her. When she stepped back, he reluctantly let her go.

"I should go, anyway."

"You don't have to," he said.

"I've already made my good-byes," she reminded him. He nodded. He tucked a curl behind her ear and kissed her softly one more time.

"Can we talk tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"I'll come over after Teddy goes down for his nap?" She nodded.

"Good night," she said, but she didn't move.

"Good night, Hermione." She reached up and kissed him quickly, then turned and hurried down the stairs. Remus watched her go, cancelling the Muffliato. She glanced up at him once she'd reached the bottom of the stairs and he smiled at her. When she was out of sight, he leaned back against the wall to get control of himself. If he went downstairs with this ridiculous grin on his face, Andromeda and Ginny would immediately know what had happened. And, for now, he wanted to keep it to himself.