Chapter 14: Strings

Dear Yuuri,

I'm starting to think that I am actually making some progress. I've been worried with everything that's happening, that I wouldn't be able to focus on the reason I actually came to rehab. I came here to end my reliance on alcohol, and as my body adjusts to an environment where alcohol is not present for me to use as a panacea, I understand that I do have strength that I've never drawn on before that can get me through the things that are difficult. Some of that strength is inside me, and some is in the people I choose to have around me. I grew up around other skater brats, and there was a culture of drinking and girl (or boy) chasing that just sort of went along with that. When things were good, we drank to celebrate, and when things were bad, we drank to numb ourselves to it. I never realized back then that we were doing something dangerous, that while we took care of our bodies and health carefully, so that we could compete, this one thing was slowly destroying us.

Now, there is no alcohol, and that means when something stressful happens, I have to find other methods to deal with it. I'm learning a lot about those strategies from the former alcoholics here, who now work to help other alcoholics have the same success in leaving their addictions behind. As scary as it was coming here and leaving you behind, I know that when I come home to you, I will be the husband you need, the husband you deserve.

Love,

Vitya

XXXXXXXXXX

The next morning arrives well before I am ready, with my alarm clock going off, then Maccachin greeting me by licking my face and whining to tell me he's hungry. I start to get up, but my head aches and I feel dryness in my throat and nasal passages.

"Ugh, sorry, Macca. Give me a moment," I manage, putting my fingers on my temples and rubbing gently, "I suppose it's because of the sedative."

I get up more slowly and take a pain reliever for my headache, then I give Maccachin his breakfast and return to my bed to write a little in my journal. I'm glad that I'll be meeting with Stefan this morning. We haven't been able to meet because of everything that's been happening. I wonder if Yuuri has gotten a message to him yet about what's going on.

I hope Yuuri is all right. I know Doctor Bershov told me that he is fine, that he is with his bodyguards, and Doctor Bershov only ever tries to help me.

I stop for a moment as I think that. I feel a little quiver inside, and for just a moment, I feel very sick to my stomach with something that feels like intense fear. I feel something that I would say seems like memory, but I don't remember it really happening.

I have only ever tried to help you, but you know how the story goes, don't you, Victor? Some people need more intense treatment. Sometimes the abuse of the body over time begins to wear on the mind.

Do you feel it, Victor?

I know it's Doctor Bershov's voice, but he never said that to me. It's no secret I don't like the man very much, so why did I think something I know I don't believe?

Maybe it's because of all that happened yesterday?

I leave my room and take Macca for a walk around the gardens. I stay away from the pond this time, opting instead to stay closer to the buildings. But there is a slightly wooded area that we pass through. Maccachin slows and nudges my leg. I look down at him, and when I look up again, Petya is standing in front of me. He's bundled up in warm clothing and carrying his notebook, like he always does.

"Good morning, Victor," he greets me, pushing up his glasses, "Are you feeling better today?"

"A bit," I answer, "Thank you for asking. But, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he answers, his dark eyes fixing on mine, "What is it?"

"Can I ask how long you have been a patient here?" I inquire.

Petya smiles.

"I've been here for two months this time," he says, chuckling, "Repeat offender."

"I see. And can you tell me, have there been incidents like yesterday, you know, people doing things to unnerve other patients?"

His eyes blink slowly.

"You mean, like the mannequin in the pond?" he asks, looking around, then looking back at me, "Not really, but then, we've never had someone like you here, have we?"

"I suppose not," I sigh, rubbing my temples as my head begins to ache again, "So, you've been here before. I notice that you also watch everyone pretty closely. Is there anyone who you think is possibly involved in what happened at the pond?"

I get a very unsettled feeling as Petya tilts his head slightly and gives me a strange little smile.

"I think there are more than a few people acting suspiciously right now, aren't there?" he answers cryptically, glancing down at his journal, "But do you maybe think you're asking the wrong question, Victor?"

"How do you mean?" I ask, frowning as the throbbing in my head grows stronger.

"You like to dance, right?" he asks.

God, this guy is so strange.

"Right now, everyone here is dancing," he says more softly, "All of the pieces are whirling around and bumping into each other."

"What?"

He's not making sense. Maybe in addition to addiction counseling, this guy needs some mental help.

He looks deeply into my eyes, and for a moment, the headache and everything else disappears.

"The question to ask isn't about the dancers, Victor," he tells me, "You need to ask where all of the strings are gathered."

"What does that mean?"

Petya's smile never wavers.

"Sorry, I have to go," he says, tapping his journal lightly with his fingertips, "Meeting."

"Right. See you later, then."

Petya and I haven't talked much since I arrived here…and maybe that's a good thing.

I shake my head, watching as he heads back towards the main building, then Maccachin and I walk back to my room, where I leave him to rest while I go to breakfast. It's still early, so Vasily isn't there yet, but Tomas is sitting alone, bent over his journal and very focused. I recall Yuuri's comments from before, and I consider going to talk to him, but a moment later, Vasily arrives.

"Where is Calina?" I ask him, "You two have been spending a lot of time together."

"Yeah," he laughs, coloring slightly, "I guess we have. But she's in a class right now. I was hoping to spend some time with you, working on my music plans. Do you have time?"

"I have a bit of time," I tell him, "I'm meeting with Stefan in an hour."

We get to talking about his music and the planned videos, which makes time go quickly. Before I know it, it's time to meet with Stefan. I walk to his office, passing Nurse Ivken in the hallway. He usually smiles a lot, but he looks not so good this morning, There are dark circles around his eyes and he barely acknowledges me.

"Victor," Stefan says as I enter his office, "it's good to finally talk to you."

"It's good to talk to you also," I answer, sitting down on one side of his desk, while he sits on the other, "Have you been in touch with Yuuri?"

"I have," he confirms, "I spoke to Yuuri yesterday, and he said to pass on to you that he's still planning to call you today at the time you set."

"Oh, good."

Stefan's smile fades as he gets down to business.

"How are you doing, after the excitement yesterday? Doctor Bershov said that you were very distressed, as I can imagine you would be, after seeing something like that. Let me assure you that after the recent events, security has been increased, and we are carefully studying everything we can related to Tolya's situation and also the incident at the pond."

"How is Tolya?" I ask, "How is his mother holding up?"

Stefan sighs.

"Tolya is still unconscious and in guarded condition. His mother is beside herself, but she wanted me to pass on to you that she is grateful to you and Masha for getting him down quickly and providing CPR."

"We just did what anyone would do," I answer, shaking my head, "I'm glad that Tolya is still alive."

"We are still working on the evidence collected from his room, especially the photo of you. We're still not able to determine who might have taken it. Doctor Bershov questioned Nurse Ivken, who was on duty that night, but he didn't seem to have seen anything. Whoever is doing these things is someone who has a familiarity with the facility and the people here."

For a moment, I flash back to my conversation with Petya.

Repeat offender.

"Are you all right, Victor?" Stefan asks.

"As well as can be expected," I answer, "I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well today."

"There's a lot of that going around," he says, "Masha missed her meeting with me this morning, because she was checked into the infirmary."

"What?"

"She contracted a high fever after her dip in the freezing pond. She's going to be fine, but they're keeping her in the infirmary just to be sure."

"I didn't know that."

"Victor," Stefan says more quietly, "I want you to be extremely careful while she's not able to watch over you. Keep Maccachin with you and try to keep to the common areas. I'm looking into what Yuuri passed on to me, but there's a lot to sort out."

"You might try asking Petya," I laugh, "if you think you can puzzle out a thing he says to you."

"He is a character," Stefan agrees.

"I tried asking him a few questions, but he just gave me a word puzzle as an answer, then he ran off to a meeting."

"Hmm, it sounds like him."

Stefan starts to go on, but he's interrupted by the sound of loud voices in the hallway, outside the door.

"I didn't do anything!" Tomas's voice shouts, amidst a number of thumping sounds.

"Take him to a holding room, please," Doctor Bershov's voice says.

A moment later, there's a tap on the door.

"Stefan?" Bershov says, poking his nose into the room, I am sorry to interrupt, but we've found something that might relate to all of the incidences around here. If you don't mind, can you and Victor join me in my office?"

Stefan glances at me, and I give him a nod.

We follow Bershov down the hall as Tomas continues to yell at the orderlies who are restraining him.

"No, stop! I didn't do anything, I swear! Th-they're just…"

His voice fades out, and we continue into Bershov's office, where we sit down at his desk.

"What's going on?" Stefan asks.

Bershov gives me a look of warning.

"These images are disturbing. I just want to warn you," he tells us.

He opens the journal he was carrying and sets it on the desk. My breath seems to freeze very painfully in my chest as I see the starkly beautiful naked drawings all over the pages.

"This is Tomas's?" Stefan asks in a shocked voice, "I mean, obviously it is, but…I had no idea..."

I can't make a sound, I feel so sick. My eyes are riveted to the naked drawings of me, of Vasily, of Tolya, of Petya, Stefan, and even Doctor Bershov. On impulse, I turn the page and I gasp as I see a picture of Yuuri and me having sex in my room. There is also a drawn copy of the picture I had been sent.

"I think we know who is responsible for stalking you, Victor," Bershov tells me, "These images tell the story of a dangerously disturbed individual."

I still can't speak. My eyes are drawn to a drawing of Tolya pleasuring himself in the shower, one of Vasily and me having sex under the trees outside. There is one of Doctor Bershov hugging a smiling young man from behind and about to bite him with a bright set of vampire fangs.

"He seems focused on men," Bershov tells me, "I knew he was attracted to men, but the journal he showed me in our sessions wasn't this one. I had no idea he was doing this."

"This must have been what Tolya saw that made him so angry," I manage finally.

"It matches what information Yuuri gave us about the bit of a picture he saw when those two were arguing," Bershov says, shaking his head.

He moves closer to me and places a hand on my shoulder. I don't know why, but I feel a strange shiver inside at his touch. Maybe it's what I've just been seeing.

"Victor," Doctor Bershov says, looking down into my eyes, "I hope you know that you are safe now."

I feel a strange pain in my head and all of a sudden, I see a flash image of him putting a hand on my face and saying those words as he strokes my cheek.

"Victor?" Stefan says worriedly, "Are you all right?"

"I…"

"He's…obviously upset about this," Bershov says, closing the journal, "Victor, if you're finished speaking to Stefan for now, we could have a session…to calm your anxieties."

"Ah, I was planning to go and see Masha."

It's not a lie. I was planning to go, but there is nothing all right about the way I feel inside.

He starts to say more, but at that moment, Nurse Ivken bursts in, panting for breath and holding a hand to one bruised cheek.

"What happened?" Stefan exclaims, coming to his feet.

"It was Tomas," Ivken explains quickly, "We had him restrained, but somehow he slipped out and got away."

"No one was able to stop him?" Bershov asks.

"No, he crashed into me and took off. We've…looked everywhere! I mean, it's not like this place is a prison or anything. It's possible to leave without being seen."

"We need to find him immediately," Bershov insists, "Stefan, we should see to that. Victor, please check the schedule and try to come in to see me tomorrow."

The two counselors leave and Nurse Ivken looks at me questioningly.

"Are you all right, Victor?" he asks, "You look very pale."

"I don't think I look as bad as you do right now," I chuckle, earning a little laugh of agreement from him, "I'm going to the infirmary to see Masha. You should come and at least be looked at."

"Oh, this is nothing," he assures me, "I'll be fine. You should go on now."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Go on," he says again.

I start to get up, but my hand catches a file and knocks that a several others off of the desk.

"Shit!"

I bend and start picking them up, only to have the nurse take them quickly from my hand.

"I'm sorry, Victor," he apologizes, "but those are personal files. I'm surprised that Doctor Bershov wasn't more careful of them."

He turns and places them back on the table, and I catch a glimpse of a picture of Doctor Bershov and a much younger man, more like my age, smiling and hugging.

Is that his son?

"Victor?"

"Oh, sorry," I apologize, shaking my head and turning away.

Who is that young man?

And why?

Why is my heart racing like it's about to jump out of my chest?

I am almost to the infirmary when I realize that the young man about to be bitten by Doctor Bershov in Tomas's picture, and the one in the photograph are the same.

That guy is a real person?

Who is he?

And why do I feel like I should remember him?