Seems I've got a three week or so turnaround on these things. I know, I'm a slow writer. ::cough:: Things get busy around here, and then I get distracted making music videos, too...

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Chapter 3

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The last Zack had seen of Tifa, she'd been a broken mess. Reckless to try charging Sephiroth with a sword she didn't even know how to use, but her father had been dead outside the reactor and there was no way in hell he thought of her as stupid for that. She'd been angry with him then, too; lashing out at him, hurting so much because he and Sephiroth had come to Nibelheim and destroyed everything in their wake. He hadn't stopped to make excuses to her then. He wouldn't hide behind them now.

The fact that she was alive, though, kept him frozen to the spot, gaping at her with shock as he tried to process that Tseng had either lied to him or had made a mistake. And Turks didn't make mistakes like that; how could they have missed one critically injured girl?

Tifa shifted on her feet, her eyes sliding away from him just as he felt a soft touch on his chest, and he tore his gaze away to glance down. Aerith was frowning at him in concern. "Zack?"

He nodded distractedly. "Yeah, babe. Look, uh … I gotta—"

Then he broke off as Tifa spun on her heel without warning and bolted through the gates. Damn it, don't— He paused long enough to take Aerith by the shoulders and plant a kiss on her forehead, and he flashed an apologetic smile at her. "I'll be right back."

"But—"

"I'll explain later!" he yelled back to her, already running for the Sector 7 entrance. Tifa was almost out of sight, slipping deftly between the slum dwellers with an ease that he wouldn't have expected from a country girl, but then he had no idea how long she'd been in Midgar.

Couldn't have been long. It's only been a couple months, and she was hurt, and – and – what the hell is she doing here? He started to close the gap; legs longer and SOLDIER-trained, and by the looks of things she'd only just recovered, so it was only a matter of time. He had to warn her at least, even if she refused to listen to anything else he said. If the Turks didn't already know about her, Tifa coming here would just put her on their radar—

Like you're doing?

The stray thought was enough to stop him in his tracks, and he swore at himself. Fair, you stupid, stupid asshole. You're being watched by said Turks. Way to go!

Too late. With a wince, he realised it didn't matter anyway; they'd have noticed her the second she started sending him death glares in the playground. It didn't make him feel any better … but the damage was done either way. Zack gritted his teeth and pushed through the gawking onlookers as politely as he could, looking for the telltale length of rich brown hair in the distance, and cursed again when he realised she'd taken advantage of his hesitation and vanished.

Hell with it. He wasn't going to just leave now that he was here. She couldn't have gone far. Zack slowed down to a trot, offering a friendly smile now to the people who stared at him, and wasn't surprised when they regarded him with wariness instead. Popular in the slums he might be, but he'd run in here clearly chasing one of them. But they didn't stop him. He was glad for that. He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to look as harmless as possible. Maybe, if he was very lucky, the Turks wouldn't have followed him in here and instead stayed at the playground to keep an eye on Aerith…

He hadn't been lucky, lately.

Always a first time for everything, right?

He made it to the end of the street and paused; under the quiet conversations of the people walking past and the rattle of a wagon nearby, he heard the harsh gasping of someone clearly fighting to get their breath back. Zack considered a moment, then took several steps backward to peer into a nearby alleyway. Nothing but a line of bins visible. Easy enough to hide behind, however. He winced. This wasn't going to be a good conversation for either of them.

He stepped into the alleyway, picking his way through the debris past the line of trash cans, stopping in front of the figure crouched on the ground, and hesitated as he saw her hands curl into fists at his presence. She might have been hiding from him … but Tifa certainly wasn't afraid of him.

"Hey," he said softly.

Between one ragged breath and the next, her glare had snapped from his knees up to his face, and he nearly took a step backward from the sheer fury he saw there. Instead, Zack raised both hands in a gesture of peace, and then cringed. Patronising much, Fair?

Before he could say anything more, she shot to her feet, one hand fisted in the front of the loose white t-shirt she was wearing. Zack took in the gesture and the fact that she was still breathing hard, and moved fast as she turned to bolt again, thrusting an arm against the wall to block her escape. "Don't. Please."

"Move," she snapped.

"Tifa--"

She ducked under the arm and made a run for it, and he made the mistake of lunging after her, one hand closing over her wrist. "No, wait—"

Really, he shouldn't have been surprised by the punch. He distinctly remembered a conversation with Zangan about Tifa, but hearing it and experiencing it were two different things, and the sudden impact of her fist crashing into his jaw was enough that he nearly staggered straight into the wall, shaking his head to clear the sudden stars in his vision.

Ow. OW. But he didn't let go of her hand. "Tif—"

She punched him again. His teeth snapped together on her name, and Zack narrowed his eyes, bringing his free hand up to catch her fist as she tried a third time. She was impressivelyfast. He was SOLDIER. "Stop that."

"Let go!"

"Promise not to punch me for at least five minutes and I will."

"I could kick you instead," she challenged.

Zack let her go, cupping his face. His jaw hurt. "Look, just five minutes. We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

But she didn't run. Zack eyed her warily as he took a step back. "If there's nothing to talk about, why did you come find me?"

Tifa gave a short laugh, bitterly angry. "You were there on my way home. What? Everyone else stares at you, why can't I?"

"That's not—"

"Zack Fair, saviour of Nibelheim, was it?" She overrode him, voice bright and brittle. "What exactly did you save? Nibelheim burned down, Zack!"

He flinched. "Keep it down."

"Why?" she snapped. "Afraid your reputation will get destroyed? I should yell it from the rooftops."

"You won't," he said quietly. "You're not that stupid."

Tifa stared at him, eyes burning as she opened her mouth, and then shut it again, arms shifting again to fold across her stomach. The white t-shirt was too big for her, and didn't really go with the miniskirt and the cowboy boots. He had a fair idea why she was wearing it, though. Zack settled his weight on the closed trash can behind him and watched her silently, letting her make the next move. She was still two seconds away from running. Either that, or two seconds away from trying to punch him again. He'd rather not have to deal with either.

"Five minutes," she said at last, voice flat. "Then I'm hitting you again."

He'd almost think she was joking. Zack quirked a wistful smile. "Is that five minutes from now? Because, you know—"

"Don't," she said curtly. "I'm not in the mood. Just say what you came to say."

"You're…" And then he stopped. Now she'd agreed to listen, the words had gone right out of his head. Zack stared at her, and then lifted a hand to run through his hair with an awkward look. "I'm glad you … you're not…" Idiot. Moron. Try again, you retard. "…you're okay."

"Define 'okay'."

He winced. "Well, you're alive. That's a start. I didn't think anyone had survived …that."

She gave him a tight smile. "Sorry to disappoint."

"That's not fair, Tifa."

"And you didn't save me, either."

"Never said I did," he said shortly, temper beginning to fray despite his best intentions. "Look, can we pretend for a second that the papers say I'm a total asshole and go from there? Because this is gonna get old real fast."

She glared back at him, folded arms hitching higher across her chest in a way that suggested she was having second thoughts about not hitting him. He sighed. "I guess you don't want to hear this from me, but I really am glad to see you're okay. In a sense." Her eyebrows shot up at that, and he shook his head. "You know what I mean. But Shinra is under the impression there aren't any survivors. Did … uh..." He broke off, mouth twisting. "I'm not sure how to put this—"

"I don't know how," she said abruptly. "I woke up in Midgar."

"Ah. So you don't know if—"

"I don't see why it's any of your business how I got here anyway." She turned on her heel. "I'm here. I'm okay. Happy? So now you've checked on me, you can go report in or something, right?"

"Oh for—" He bolted upright as she started to stalk away. "I'm not the enemy, Tifa!"

She rounded on him, fists clenched. "What am I supposed to think?"

"You—"

"You come to our town and burn it down—"

"That was—"

"And kill my father – he kills my father," and her voice was getting dangerously high again, shaking in its fury, "And I can't stop him, and everyone else dies and when it's all over, you're being called the hero? And Sephiroth – he – you—" She broke off with a helpless sweep of one arm, eyes wild with rage. "Sephiroth's a martyr now? How does that even work? He killed them all!"

"Politics. Keep your voice down."

"No, really?" She laughed at him. Laughed. "Protecting his reputation too, huh?"

Temper flared. She wasn't being Gaia-damned fair. "I don't write the fucking papers!" he hissed.

"But you pose for the cameras, don't you?" she spat back. "Don't tell me you're not enjoying yourself!"

He blinked, taken aback. "Have you been spying on me?"

"You're pretty hard to miss. You're down here all the time." She closed the distance, face inches from his, and the amount of hatred he could see in her eyes was like a kick to the chest. "Maybe you should sign a photo for me, huh?" she said bitterly. "There was this really nice one with you and me and him—"

Oh, that hurt. He took a breath, trying to speak to her without snarling. "Tifa--"

"Are we done?"

"No, we're—"

"Because I think we are." She lifted her chin. "I didn't die. And I know the paper is full of lies. So sorry if that makes me a problem or something, but you don't have to—"

"Can I get a word in edgewise?" He was trying to stay calm. He wasn't sure he was really succeeding. "Because that'd be kinda nice."

"One."

"You're not—"

"More than one."

Oh, for-- He threw his hands up in exasperation, anger tinging his voice despite his best efforts. "What are you, ten?"

"I'm fifteen," she snapped. "Not a child. I just don't have time for this."

"You promised me five minutes. Please. Just ..." He broke off, frustrated. "Look, I swear to you, SOLDIER's honour: I'm not here to cause you trouble. I'm trying to look out for you!"

She sneered. "Oh, really? Like you did in—"

He moved before he could stop himself, fist smashing into the fence over the dustbins. Tifa flinched, eyes wide and staring as Zack fought to reign his temper in. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she was too damned sick to keep yelling at him, and he knew that wasn't fair. But she wasn't giving him a fucking chance.

It's not her fault. It's not. She's too young and she's lost too much and she can't handle it. That's all it is. But—

"Zack?"

He glanced up at her, and was surprised to find she'd taken half a step forward, one hand stretched out hesitantly before she let it drop to her side. It was enough. Maybe she didn't hate him entirely.

"I know you're hurting, okay?" he said quietly. "And yeah, you can blame me for a lot of it, but I'll repeat this as many times as I have to. I'm not your enemy. We didn't come to Nibelheim knowing what was going to happen, okay? And Shinra—"

He stopped. Ranting about Shinra here and now would just get them both killed. He was pretty damn sure Tseng had pulled strings to save his life, but he wasn't sure that any such protection would stretch to denouncing the company they both worked for on the streets. If he were lucky enough, Tifa's presence down here might be ignored – at least long enough for him to get her out of Midgar.

…there I go with that whole 'luck' thing again...

Tifa eyed him with a frown. "What about Shinra?"

At least she was listening to him, now. Zack shook his head. "I shouldn't go into that." He held up a hand as she started to object. "But listen. It's really not safe for you here in Midgar. I honestly don't know how much of a threat you'd be considered, but you should leave."

There. He'd said it. And Tifa was looking more thoughtful than angry now, hugging herself gently in the alleyway as she watched him. Probably trying to work out whether he was worth listening to. He fought down the urge to give her a smile – a Zack puppy smile of please? to try and convince her on her way – and instead just waited under her scrutiny quietly and hoped that she had the sense not to ask why.

Eventually, her shoulders slumped and the anger went out of her face completely, and she turned away from him to lean against the fence. "I can't leave, Zack," she said wearily. "Where am I meant to go?"

He sighed. "Tifa—"

"Zangan brought me here, I think."

"Zangan?" He was confused for a second, until he realised she was just answering his earlier question. Some of the tension went out of his shoulders. Making peace was a good sign, right? "Is he here, too?"

Tifa shook her head. "I don't know where he is. I wasn't … awake for the trip." She looked away. "He left me with a doctor. But you know, Zangan moves a lot."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" she asked.

For a lot of things, maybe? Zack ran a hand over his face. He could start apologising and he'd be here all day. "Waking up here without anyone you know," he said finally, giving her an awkward smile.

"I understand, though." She shrugged. "And he got me out of there. That's enough."

He hesitated. "How is your … uh …you know—"

Her hand shifted to grip the fabric of her t-shirt again. "It's healed."

"You're still recovering though, huh?"

"I'll get there."

"Listen, Tifa—"

She cut him off, lifting her gaze to peer at him. "If you'd been up at the reactor, would you have saved my father?"

Zack sucked in a breath, going quiet. Oh, kiddo. It hurts, doesn't it? What kind of answer could he give to a question like that? To fight Sephiroth inside or outside the reactor; the outcome would have been the same either way.

I'm not a hero. I'm sorry. But…

"…I'd have tried."

She was silent for a long time, face expressionless as she studied him. She didn't burst into tears or scream at him or turn and walk away. Zack took a breath and reigned in his impulse to say more – to try and explain, to apologise. He risked a glance toward the mouth of the alleyway and saw the shifting figures of passersby; nobody paying any attention to them. Which was impressive, given how much they'd been screaming at each other. He wondered wryly if maybe people down here were just used to that sort of thing.

And then, Tifa surprised him. She laughed; low and soft and humourless, but nevertheless. "Yeah," she murmured. "Yeah. I guess you would have."

And she smiled, a sad curve of her lips that nearly made his knees buckle in relief. She trusted him. Zack exhaled heavily, finally daring to offer her another smile. "You still gonna hit me when we're done?"

"I'm thinking about it," she said dryly. "You've got a minute left."

"Thanks so much." But he chuckled, shaking his head a little before he became serious. "Look … I know you don't think you have anywhere to go, but Midgar isn't – it's not a nice place. Especially not here in the slums."

She shrugged. "Everyone else has to make do."

"Everyone else doesn't come from Nibelheim," he countered, and was gratified to see her wince as that sank in. "There's a really nice little town near here called Kalm – it wouldn't take long to get—"

"I can't leave here, Zack."

He blinked, and then gave her an encouraging smile. "Sure you can. You can even leave directly from the slums, I know where the—"

"No," she said firmly. "I'm serious. I can't. And it should be okay, right? I mean, you're not gonna report me."

"Well, no." He was baffled. Why she'd choose a cesspool like Midgar over Kalm – a really nice town, which was damned miraculous given how close it really was to this place – was beyond him. Something was up. "You're totally safe from me," he assured her absently, and then grinned. "Unless you try blowing up a reactor or something – uh, but that's not the issue. Eventually, someone's gonna notice you. If they haven't already." He scratched his head and glanced back to the street again with a quiet sigh. "If they didn't five minutes ago."

"What do you mean?"

"…Uh. Yeah." He smiled sheepishly. "I'm kinda being watched."

Tifa gave him a funny look. "So you chased after me?" she asked slowly.

"Well, technically you started this…"

She opened her mouth and shut it, and finally stared nervously at the mouth of the alleyway herself. "So am I in trouble?"

"I don't know," he admitted, and hurried on as her gaze swung back sharply to his. "But that's why I want you to leave. As soon as you can."

"Why don't you know? Didn't you say if—"

"Look, I'm not…" He trailed off. How did he explain this? Well, they may or may not have followed me here, but that doesn't really matter as they may or may not have known you were here anyway. Either way, they may or may not decide to do something about it depending on any number of factors, including how good a day Tseng is having… He grinned despite himself. "It's complicated?"

"I might be in trouble, but I might not?" Tifa arched an eyebrow. "What, does Shinra flip a coin before arresting someone?"

"They might do," he muttered, thinking of Reno.

"You're joking."

"Not exactly." He snorted. "Not enough, anyway. Will you leave?"

"I can't."

He ran a hand through his hair and heaved a frustrated sigh. "Okay, pertinent question: why won't you leave? You can't be happy down here."

Tifa bit her lip and glanced away. "I'm looking for someone. It's very important."

"Who?"

It was a stupid question, and he'd asked it almost absently. But Zack's breath hitched on the word, his mouth suddenly dry. Even before she shifted nervously on her feet and worked up the courage to ask him, he knew.

Gaia. Please, don't ask--

"Look, you may be able to help me," she was saying, thoughtfully now, oblivious to his sudden stillness. "He left Nibelheim to join SOLDIER over two years ago, so he … he wasn't there. When it happened."

--Dammit, Spike—

Zack closed his eyes. Opened them again, and forced himself to smile just a little, paying attention. Tifa wasn't even looking at him, staring at the trashcans fixedly as she rambled. "…has to know by now that we're – they're all dead, and he had family there, too. But he probably doesn't know I'm – uh."

She stopped, looking embarrassed, and finally gave him a pleading smile. "I think … I need to find him, Zack. He's all I have left. Please. You can help, right? Please – you can ask around in the barracks or something? He must be in SOLDIER by--"

"This is about the blond kid you asked me about back then, right?" Zack interrupted, voice sounding strange even to his own ears. His nails were digging furrows into his palms. He shifted them to plant hands on his hips and squared his shoulders, shaking his head with a smile gone suddenly brittle. "I told you we didn't have anyone like that in SOLDIER."

"Maybe he's in training?" she asked stubbornly, and he closed his eyes again. "Please, Zack. I can't find him on my own. Not fast. The sooner I find him, the sooner I can – I can go somewhere safe."

She sounded triumphant now, as if she'd found a magical bargaining point that would force his hand and make Zack produce Cloud with a flourish. Zack had the sudden urge to just turn and run from her the way she'd fled from him, and he swallowed, stomach churning as she stared at him expectantly.

He could spit it out. Tell her the truth, break her heart – maybe break what was left of her – and then she'd have no excuse to stay. She probably wouldn't protest at all, then, if he took her by the shoulders and dragged her out of Midgar himself. Cruel, but it would put her out of harm's way …

… and then what? Take away her last hope and kick her out of the city where she didn't know anyone? Part of him cringed at the thought.

But it wasn't fair to lie to her, either.

What the hell am I meant to say?

There was a soft shift of cloth, and then he felt her hand touch his arm lightly, voice worried. "Zack?"

I can't.

He glanced down at her and smiled. "I'll …try."

She peered at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said cheerfully, and wondered if he sounded as hollow as he felt. "No, I'll try and find—"

Tifa blinked, her eyes lighting up as she lifted a finger and poked him in the chest, and the lie stuck in his throat. "You already know him, don't you?"

Zack flinched. "What? No, I--"

"It's in your face! You do know him, I can tell! You even called him a kid!" She laughed outright, her hand tugging on his arm as she smiled up at him, eyes hopeful as he struggled not to put both hands over his face and hide from her like a little kid himself. "Where is he? Did he make SOLDIER? His name's Cloud Strife, he's—"

"Tifa."

"He's doing fine, right? Training to be just like—"

"Tifa."

"--like a SOLDIER should be, he wanted to be, to show…" Tifa faltered as he took hold of her hand and pulled it gently away from his arm. "…Zack?"

He cleared his throat. "Maybe you should … sit down."

"Zack?" A soft echo of his name as she frowned, and he swallowed, hating himself for not being a better liar. Bad enough that it still hurt him, no matter how much time had passed – he knew what would happen the moment he found the words, and he didn't want to see her crumble.

She didn't need him to say anything, as it turned out. He witnessed with painful clarity the sudden, stark realisation in her face, and she jerked away from him as if he'd hit her. "No." She shook her head, fists clenching. "Don't. He's okay, he's – don't you dare—"

"I'm … I'm really sorry." And he was apologising after all. Zack clenched his eyes shut. "I – Gaia—"

"What happened?" she demanded. "How?"

"Tifa, I swear. He – he really liked you. He—"

"What happened?"

It was tempting to tell her what had happened. That he'd practically ordered Cloud to commit suicide. She'd hit him again. Maybe she wouldn't stop. Zack laughed bitterly and shook his head. "He didn't want to take his helmet off, you know?" he said, not surprised his voice was shaking. Guess it didn't really matter now. "Such a shy kid."

"What…" Tifa paused, staring at him. "Helmet?" she repeated.

"He's the one who should be in the papers, Tifa." He could at least tell her that. Suddenly, it seemed so important that she knew. "He's the one who—"

"He was there," she whispered.

"…yeah."

Tifa backed away from him slowly, leaning back against the opposite fence with a dazed look. She was putting it all together, he knew. Who the cadet had been. Who'd tried to protect her outside the reactor. Who she'd hauled back to the inn while Zack kept them both safe, and he'd wanted to tell her that and laugh when Cloud threw things at him…

In a different world, maybe.

"Oh, gods," she said, voice breaking. "His mother—"

"He knew," Zack said softly.

Tifa turned away, face stony. "I have to go."

"Tifa—"

"No." She dodged his outstretched hand. "Zack. I'm going. I have places – I have to—"

"Tifa, listen," he said pleadingly. "He—"

"I don't want to know, Zack!" she yelled at him, and he fell silent. "Okay? I just – no. I can't – I don't want to – not now. Not … now. Just …"

Zack stared miserably at her as she took a breath, composing herself in the silence of the alleyway. She wasn't crying. Not yet; maybe not ever.

Not in front of him, anyway.

"Goodbye, Zack," she said flatly. And walked past him back to the street; quiet footfalls, easy to catch if he just reached out and grasped an arm...

He really should have stopped her. He knew that. Should have been stubborn and forced her out of the city, or at least found out where she was staying so he could keep an eye on her, or even followed her home.

He let her go.

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The playground was a lot darker by the time he returned, the dim and flickering lights near the Sector 7 gates its only source of light. Zack dragged his feet, not wanting to return straight away; but he'd left Aerith there alone and she deserved better than that. A small spark of hilarity, somewhere in the back of his mind, wondered if she had even bothered to wait. Technically, he had just ditched her to chase after another pretty girl.

But she was still there, perched lightly on the overturned flower wagon in the shadow of the playground slide, hands folded in her lap without a hint of impatience. She glanced up with a smile as she heard his heavy boots scuff across the ground, and then gave him a smile of a different kind, soft and sweet, when she caught the look on his face.

"There was a man just here I think you know," she said gently. The gleam in her eyes was too knowing. "Name of Reno? He seemed rather annoyed with you."

"Yeah?" He tried to smile back, and took her hand when she offered it. "Why's that?"

"He thought you very rude to abandon a lady at sunset to go running off who knows where." Aerith hesitated, and then her hand tightened on his. "He's only just left, actually. Told me he'd keep me company for a bit to make sure I was safe until you returned. Gallant of him, don't you think?"

He laughed then, shakily, as he pulled her upright, and tried to hide his relief. Reno's way of telling him he had a free pass at least for today. "I'll try not to abandon you again, then," he said. "Wouldn't want him getting ideas."

"Mm. Well, I have ideas of my own."

"Really? And what—"

Then he stopped as her arms slid around him and she laid her head on his chest. Zack swallowed, and then sighed wryly as he ran a hand gently through her hair. "That obvious, huh?"

"Always," she said lightly. "But you know that's okay, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Zack."

He smiled wistfully at that.

Me too.

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...Poor Reno. Eventually he may actually get a scene instead of just being talked about.

And thank you for all the reviews! I'm so happy this story has a lot of interest. It's probably going to be pretty long, so I hope you enjoy it to the very end. :D