Warnings: violence

III.

Taesuke held the small chip in his hand like it was a bomb, like it would explode rather than give him the results he wanted, that he deserved. He and Hackmon had worked hard with the family, after all. They'd managed to do well on even some of the theory work and he was pretty sure that everything he read the older he got was turning more and more backwards.

This chip held his results and all he had to do was slip it into his digivice and he'd have all the answers he needed.

Taesuke thrust it into his pocket and refused to pull it out again. He couldn't do it, he couldn't look.

"Coward." Hackmon's voice wasn't unkind but it was still annoying! And he was still a child level. Taesuke was already better than him because he was older. And that was how it should be.

"Leave me alone," he mumbled. "''M just nervous. You should be too."

"Looks like the courage boy's not so courageous," Hackmon said in that dry voice his sister like to use to tease him.

"I just don't wanna see it by myself!" Taesuke paused. "Or with you either. You'll laugh."

"You're easy to laugh at."

Taesuke steamed, the nerves fading into the pit of his stomach. He knew exactly who he wanted to share it with him. He knew exactly what he wanted to hear on the report. He just had to hear it.

So he bolted to the high school. Hackmon didn't bother to race after him, deciding to follow the crowds at a more sedate pace. IT wasn't like he was in a hurry to see anyone. Jerk.

Kaito was still here, Taesuke was sure. He stayed after for club, or whatever he called it. Tae was starting to think it wasn't club at all and just "fun time for older kids" where they mocked the little ones that weren't there yet. Tsu was always there and she had union stuff nearly every day.

… Maybe it was actually where Union Chosen met every day and no one had told him. Ooh he was going to wring Tsu's neck for hiding that from him! He'd been going for years without him the … the… ooh he'd think of a word later. What mattered was that Kaito was still here for club and he'd be able to make him watch the results even if it killed him!

Bolting down one hallway, he saw the familiar shade of auburn hair reflected in the nearby window. The hallway was nearly empty. There was one more person, and seeing that person was what made Taesuke stop and skeedadle behind something. He was still small enough to hide safely behind a wall.

"Kei," Kaito said quietly. "Come on, won't you consider it? We've… We've come too far."

"What you want is dangerous, Kaito." Kei didn't sound level or quiet. There was a strange serenity there though, one that did not belong to him. "I'm not a person you should associate these things with."

"Why not?" Kaito sounded tired. "Hirose was dangerous too and you've let him stick by you."

"He's my friend."

"What am I then?"

"You're my friend too." There was something strangely childlike about that sentence. "But he doesn't love me in the way you might want to."

Something in Taesuke's heart sank.

"I can't fix what's wrong with me."

"I don't care that there's something wrong with you."

"Then why?" Taesuke couldn't see Kaito's face. He honestly couldn't even imagine it. The boy was always fairly blank-eyed with him, very calm, rough, honest. He leaned to see the face that matched the sound of his voice, raw and hurt and shaking all in pieces. "Why not try with me?"

"Because I don't feel those things." Kei smiled. "My heart has never fluttered, there is no wonderous sensation of flying. I didn't fall in love with you."

Kaito stopped, face frozen, something like a tear on his face. (He didn't cry, he couldn't cry, he was a strong older kid, Taesuke didn't cry) "But-" He stopped.

"I know." Kei's voice was as calm as ever, even as he leaned back against the window. He seemed feverish, too pale. "I can't fix what's wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you!"

It's the first time that Taesuke has ever heard Kaito shout.

"There's nothing…" Kaito stopped, struggled, breathed too fast. "There's nothing wrong with you! You just don't love the way everyone else does! That's not a problem! THat's not bad! That doesn't change how I-"

"But it changes things, right?"Kei didn't even seem sad, even though Taesuke, strangely enough, felt like crying. "It changes how we could be, right? I can't love you the way you want or the way you need. You need someone who can. So I… I can't accept this. I'm so sorry."

Kaito stuttered, each sound cracking something in Taesuke. "But I…"

"You're the only person here," Kei continued, like Kaito hadn't spoken at all. "Who understands what it's like to be a monster like me. I… I can't have you be anything else but that, and even if I could, I couldn't respond. I can't give you what you need. So please. Let's stay as we are."

Kaito made a sound that Taesuke had never heard before and the sound of it, a heavy gulping swallow like air didn't exist anywhere else. And Taesuke snapped.

He flew into view, crashing into Kei's frame against the wall. He didn't even know what he was screaming, just that he was screaming something, thoughts in a whirl of - how could yous and you hurt him and other, worse, much worse things that he shouldn't say and he shouldn't mean about his own family but how could he how could he when Taesuke loved Kaito first at all-

Then all the thoughts were replaced with a searing white hot pain that spread all up his back and down his arms and legs and something dripped down his head.

Blurry eyes saw red dripping, hard. His head lolled, his body twitched. Everything was blurry, how did he get on the tile, cold on his ankles.

Someone was yelling nearby. Who was it? Why were they yelling?

Consciousness was too hard. Taesuke gave up and passed out.