Chapter Two

They planned to go shopping for their Christmas tree the following day, but the snowstorm kept the roads closed. Robin and Kiki decided to take Emma outside to play in the snow while Anna and Felicia stay inside to chat and Griffin and Nikolas set out on foot.

"How is she doing," Kiki asks Robin. "It can't be easy losing her father at such a young age."

"She's having a rough time as you can imagine. We both are. Patrick was a good man. He saved so many lives. In a lot of ways, he was like our father."

"I wish I had known him," she admits.

Robin reaches for her sister's hand and squeezes it. "He would have loved you."

They look up to watch Emma just as she hurls a snowball in her direction. "She's feisty," Kiki acknowledges.

"A chip off the old block," Robin states as she goes after her daughter. She watches as Robin and Emma throw snowballs at each other giggling. Was this what it was like, she wondered, to be part of a real family?

Anna and Felicia sit at the window sipping hot chocolate as they watch the girls outside.

"It's nice that they are getting along so well," Felicia states. "You and Robert must be proud. You ended up having two doctors for children."

Anna smiles wistfully. "I am just so thankful that we found her before it was too late. We still have time to get to know her."

"You will Sweetheart," Felicia states. "Now tell me how you are doing? You've gone through a lot in the last couple of months."

Anna pauses as she takes Felicia's hand in hers. "Not as much as you. Tell me how you are feeling."

"I know what you are doing," Felicia quips. "But I feel great actually. The doctors are monitoring my pregnancy given my age but so far, I cannot complain. I really thought that ship had sailed."

Felicia cannot help but notice the sadness in her friend's eyes, even when she was smiling. "What is it Anna…"

"I just feel a little sad knowing that Robert and I will never have that…I am grateful for both our children but we weren't able to raise them from the start. Robin was six years old before she knew we were her parents and Kiki is an adult. She does not need us anymore."

"She will always need you Anna. You are her mother. Do not ever think it is too late. Mac and I are living proof that miracles can happen every day. "

"We've had so many miracles Felicia…How many more do we get?"

"As many as you need. If it is something you still want, nothing is impossible."

The air is uncharacteristically silent as Anna gazes wistfully out the window at her children playing in the snow with her granddaughter. She wishes she could have had more moments like this back when they were happening right before her eyes…Back when she still believed in happy ever after.

"What if he doesn't want the same things as I do Felicia? It has been so many years. What if he learns to walk again and the first thing he does is walk out of my life again…"

"That is a chance you are going to have to take if it is still something you want…"

"But what if I'm not strong enough Felicia. We put so much on the line twice before…well three times if you count the time when he was fighting cancer and he left me before we had a chance to really start again."

"Are you still upset about that Anna?"

"A part of me is still devastated…the other part knows that I would have done the exact same thing."

Felicia puts her hand on Anna's knee in a gesture of support. "You two have been through so much pain Anna…But there were just as many good times. I was there. I saw it with my own eyes. Can you really deny that all of the pain you went through was just a part of your story…that loving him was worth all of it?"

"I can't deny any of that. You know that."

"Okay then tell me this…How does he make you feel? Because at the end of the day, the only thing that really matters is what he does to your heart?"

A single tear rolls down Anna's cheek as she looks at one of her best friends. "He makes me feel alive. "

"And you feel guilty don't you? You feel guilty that Finn never made you feel that way?"

"He has been dead for three months Felicia…Three months and I haven't thought of him once. "

"But you think of Robert don't you?"

"I thought it was just because I was so worried about him. It was like I could see my whole life flash before me and in every one of those moments, he was there with me. "

"But it is more isn't it?"

"He makes me feel things I haven't felt in years…I didn't even think I was capable of feeling things in that part of my body again…"

Felicia sees Anna blush and smiles. Anna hasn't been this happy since the last time she and Robert did their dance.

"It's like riding a bike isn't it…"

"Felicia…Seriously, what kind of person am I if I am already thinking about what it would be like to be with Robert again."

"Define 'Be With'…"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you…The dreams that I'm having would make all those nuns I had in high school say at least a thousand Hail Mary's."

Felicia smiles widely as she wraps her arm around her friend. "Don't look so guilty. It is perfectly healthy for you to be fantasizing about having sex with a man you obviously want to have sex with."

Anna almost chokes on her coco and Felicia smiles. The real Anna Devane was surfacing again.

"Bloody Hell," Robert yells as he rolls onto his side for the tenth time that day. Mac and Maxie could see the pain in his eyes even as he pushed forward. The only way they could get Anna to agree to take a break is if they promised to motivate him. Mac had the perfect carrot to dangle in front of him.

"Come on Robby, you can't stop now. Don't you want to see Anna in that Christmas present you bought her."

"Isn't that more of a present for him," Maxie asks with a wink.

"Are you trying to kill me little brother," Robert snaps.

"What's the matter, can't take the heat?"

With a cursory remark, Robert turned his attention back to the task. Sweat and tears were rolling down his cheek as he tried again to pull himself onto his knees. The goal today was learning how to get himself in and out of bed. He wanted to push himself further but he knew that Anna would have his head if he did. After a couple more practices, he rolled himself back onto his back as the therapist helped him stretch his leg muscles.

"You are getting much stronger Robert," The therapist stated. "You shouldn't push yourself so hard."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew how much I want to be able to do certain things…"

"And you will…It is just going to take time. If you push yourself too hard then you will set yourself back. You don't want that do you?"

"I want to be able to walk again…to feel like I am a man again."

"Robert, I know I have said this before but your disability does not make you less of a man. All of your parts are working just fine down there. "

"You hear that Robby…you can still get an erection."

"Dad," Maxie chastised, hitting his shoulder. "Don't make fun of Uncle Robert."

Robert blushes slightly as he looks back up at the therapist. "Are we done yet?"

"Just think about it Robert. It is only your pride getting in the way. See you next week."

"It is starting to look like Christmas in here," Robert mentions as Mac wheels him into the house. Kiki and Robin were decorating the tree and singing Christmas carols as Griffin and Nikolas helped Anna bring the rest of the decorations out of the attic. Emma was asleep on the couch with Felicia.

"The boys dragged this thing through the snow," Kiki stated. "Wasn't that nice of them?"

"If those young men are the reason my daughters have a smile as bright as their mother's, I will not complain."

"Aren't you in a good mood today," Robin states. "How was Physical Therapy?"

"I'm getting stronger," he says. Anna comes around the corner and wraps her arms around his neck as she kisses him.

"You're not overdoing it are you?"

"I promised you I wouldn't."

"Good. Then let's go take a nap."

"A Nap," Mac questions, once the two of them were out of earshot.

"Oh don't worry about it. Anna has a little present for your brother," Felicia states. "Come to think of it. Maybe we all should take a nap."

"Excuse me…child in the room," Robin says, covering Emma's ears.

"What? I said 'Nap.' Where is your mind today?"

"Busted," Nikolas says, as he wraps his arms around Robin. Kiki and Griffin have now mysteriously disappeared as well as Mac and Felicia.

"What is with this family," Robin quips, as she joins Nikolas on the couch with a slumbering Emma. "Is everyone but us having sex?"

"Must be something in the air," Nikolas states.

"Or in their groin."

Nikolas laughs and Robin thinks it is a beautiful sight…It is probably one of the first times she has felt that way since Patrick's death. Maybe Christmas really was the season for miracles.