== Be Cuz
Out of a random turn of events, you are now back at LoAaL in the place of Jazz's Cousin. In your time by yourself you've probably blew up... twenty of these Imp things? You lost count after a while, but you're pretty sure it was around that many. And despite how much you want to say the opposite, it has gotten extremely boring. Literally, the only thing of interest is that Vlad dude building onto your house to get to a hole in the sky or something stupid like that, you don't care to remember. What you do care about, is the fact that the killing the things got boring and for some reason you can't pick this Grist stuff up anymore. Must be a reserve or something that got full. That's how games work right? On of the few times you wished you played video games instead of prepare for the apocalypse. Oh, who are you kidding? You are happy you did it and even happier that you were right about it. Now, there ain't no government to tell you how much kush you can smoke in a day. Speaking of...
== Cuz: Head to the basement
You get off of the couch and down the stairs to what remains of your basement. Luckily, the remainder still has your weed planters packed into the corner. Such a considerate game this SBURB is. You pick out some of the choice stuff; the biggest leaves you can pull up with no seeds or stems. Sadly, you don't know anyone on this new planet so you don't have anyone to sell this excess crap to. Guess throwing them out is the only choice now. Actions for later, right now you are toking right the fuck up. You roll up a quick number of joints and hop back upstairs to find, that's right, more Imps and lizard things! They are just so freaking numerous. Dewottsprite is taking care of most of them, but follows your request to not get the couch wet. Which is where the greatest number of them are. You sigh and take out your Destructo Machete and get ready to fight again. The Imps don't even get to look at you before you blast a pair of frisbees made of lights at them, cutting them all in half. You sigh and sit down on the black ink covered couch, setting the machete on the side of armrest. The Sprite then floats over to you and look around the living room.
Dewottsprite: This room has gotten more and more messy ever since Jazzmyne left.
Cuz: Yup.
Dewottsprite: Someone should probably clean it so the others have a nice arrival.
Cuz: Yup.
Dewottsprite: I suppose I shall get to it, if you don't mind holding off the Imps.
Cuz: Yup, I'll take care of the little whatchamacallits.
Dewottspite: Alrighty then!
Dewottsprite: I'll be cleaning up the floors now.
Cuz: Dang, I should start calling you Codsworth at this point.
Cuz: Cleaning shit up and killing annoying little pissants.
Cuz: Hmm...
Cuz: Wonder if the XBox still works here?
Cuz: Naw, pot first.
You bring one of the joints to your lips and take out your lighter. You flip it open and light it, taking in a huge hit of the smoke. You almost instantly feel your entire body ease up and you slump into the couch. Along with this, you also get that dumb sensation you get when you get high. You really want to find out if your XBox works. You also wish you had some wrap instead of this stupid cheap joint paper. That would've taste better than just the smoke. Speaking of tasting things, you wonder if there are and Doritos left. Hopefully they didn't get all crushed up in the game enterance thing. Oh, and Mountain Dew. God, if there isn't any Mountain Dew you will literally kill something. Oh wait, you already are. Ok, you have your plan set up now. Chips, soda, XBox, killing things. Oh, you love when the hit brings out this side of you. Small fact about pot, it does not make you a crazy giggler or philosophical world saver. It just strengths up one part of your character that doesn't come out too much... Who are you explaining this to?
== Cuz: Check the kitchen
You quickly hop up and walk into the kitchen which has somehow avoided all the craziness of Imp murder. That also means that the cupboards are probably perfectly fine. You go to one of them and open it up to find a big unopened bad of Cool Ranch Doritos! Jackpot motherfuckers! You reach in and pick up the bag and put it into your Coloring Book Modus. Won't be all that hard to get it out. If the chips are ok, then that must mean... You turn around and go to the fridge and open it to get hit by a blast of cool air. Ok, somehow electricity still works here. You take out the a few sodas and capturelog them. Two things taken care of. Nice. You take another breath from the blunt and head back into the living room. So, if the fridge was working, that means the power is on. If the power is on and the XBox is plugged in, than that should mean...
You go over to the TV and touch the small power thing on the console, hearing the little 'ding' noise that comes from it turning on. You smile and take the controler and sit back down on the couch. You take out both the capture cards and color in the outlined chips and drinks. Once you have the stereotypical stoner collection of items, you go over into you games and slide down to Fallout 4 and click. You are brought up to the normal loading screen on the main menu but before you can do anything, you are interrupted by two more Imps. Man, you really do not want to deal with these guys right. Just give you fifteen to twenty minutes for the bulk of the high to go away, then you can get to murdering again.
You sigh and take in another big hit from the blunt and toss it to the side before grabbing your machete again. The Imp gets up to your face and your blow the smoke into it's face and stand up. You look down and wait for it to do something but all it does is scratch at his face before just looking forward. After a moment of this, the Imp falls back on its ass with a dumb smile on his face and instantly starts just looking around and to the ceiling. You don't even need to think to know what was going on here.
Cuz: Oh, first toke huh?
Cuz: Yeah, is hits you good first time around.
Cuz: We cool now little dude?
The Imp looks over and nods to you, trying to stand itself back up.
Cuz: Naw dude, you can chill there.
Cuz: Want a Dew?
The little guy smiles and nods again. You turn around and grab one of the sodas before tossing it behind and to the Imp. Those guys must be weaker than you thought, because when he missed the can it hit him straight in the face and was replaced with a few bits of Grist.
Cuz: Oops.
Cuz: My bad bro.
Cuz: Weak ass bitches.
Cuz: Oh shit, wait, there were more of you guys, weren't you?
You look around and noticed something that would piss off anyone as stoned as you are. There were about three other Imps looking over the TV and getting way too close to it. After a few seconds, one of the Imps jumps on it and brings it down right on top of him, popping into a small pile of Grist. You could still hear the sound of the Fallout menu, but that doesn't mean it's still working. A fish may flop, but that doesn't mean it's still alive. You wonder if there's anyway to get fish around here... God, it's been forever since you've had some good catfish. Wait, what are you talking about? You need to avenge your TV! You quickly aim you machete at the other Imps and flick it to the side, sending a pair of light discs at them. They explode upon contact, just like the others.
You kick the Grist to the side and try to pick the TV back up. Just like you thought, there was no light coming from it and a huge crack going straight through the center of. It still made noise, so it's not ALL destroyed, but it's pretty much useless now. And now, with it's uselessness, you are mad. The high left quicker than it usually does as you lay it back on the floor and putting your weapon on your side. Looks like it's rampage time.
== Cuz: Prepare your rampage
You pick up the sodas, chips, and a few more blunts before catching sight of the Alchemiter in the corner of the room. You have an idea. It's a dumb idea, but it's an idea. You card all of the items and put them in the Punch thingy. You take a few Dowels and start making some quick Totems. You do the thing and in a few moments you have a good months worth of everything, and even moreso of pot. That's when another thought comes to mind. You pick up the Fallout case and punch it. Then, you put your machete into a card and punch it. You make one Totem with the machete from before, and one with the combination of machete and the game. You equip the new machete and get a quick feel of it. You wait for another Imp to come in before doing the same flick from before. Although, this time the disc was green and the explosion was a hell of a lot bigger and hotter. Nuclear Destructo Disc shooting machete. This is it.
You quickly grab all of your things and toss on your gas mask from before. You open the door and look across the Land, seeing that it is mostly flatlands with hills here and there. Perfect for a quick rampage joyride. Speaking of, you go over to your El Camino which somehow came into this game with you and Jazz. You toss all of the Mountain Dew and Doritos into the passenger seat and pot in the glove compartment. You are either gonna die from Imps or heart attack. Either way, you are destroying something. An eye for an eye, or in this case, one random important thing of one random important thing. You about hop in before bring greeted by the Sprite once again.
Cuz: Oh, hey Sprite dude.
Cuz: I'll be back later, keep the place clean.
Dewottsprite: Oh, may I ask where you're going?
Cuz: One of those Imp dickbafs broke my TV.
Cuz: So now I have an El Camino full of rampage and I am going to be back later.
Cuz: If Jazz comes back tell her I went to take of some shit, and use those exact words.
Cuz: She'll know what it means.
Dewottsprite: W-wait, what?
Dewottsprite: You can't do that, this is an extremely dangerous landscape!
Dewottsprite: You will more than likely die out there!
Cuz: Don't care.
You start up the car and toss on some sunglasses over your mask. You start to quickly back out of what was left of the driveway, before crushing a can and throwing it at the Sprite and flipping him off and yell.
Cuz: Fuck bitches, get money!
== Cuz: Enjoy a calm evening drive
With that final, rather rude comment, you slam on the gas and go down the field, making sure to avoid all of the glowing acid lakes and making sure not to avoid the Imps and some new lizard looking things. You keep going for a while, maybe about an hour, and see nothing all that interesting. You have a nice trail of Grist and other giant video game currency to keep a line of where you've been. At least you won't get lost out here. It's hard to do that, considering it's pretty much one huge hilly plains with a few pond. You decide to take a quick moment to pop open another Mountain Dew and chug the whole thing down, crushing and aiming carefully at a new target you found.
A taller black figure, this one without any extra attachments like the Imps, stood at the edge of quite possibly the largest acid lake you've found so far. You slow down a little and throw the can, hitting the new figure right in the back of the head. Instead of the normal explosion into Grist like the Imps, the new thing grabs it's head and let's out a semi-loud grunt of pain. Hearing this, you quickly slow and turn around, coming up close to the figure. At this distance, you can tell that their a female, or at least hella feminine wearing some kind of crown thing. She was about a foot shorter than you and held what looked like a staff in her free hand, the other still holding onto her head. After a second you do something that would be considered stupid. You unbuckle, open the door, and step out to greet the lady.
Cuz: Uh, hey there!
Cuz: Sorry 'bout that, chicka.
Cuz: Wasn't looking, you know how it is?
?: No, I don't know what it is.
Yeah, you are now ninety percent certain this is a girl from the pitch of her voice. Like, not even a femboy can get their voice like that. Nor could they get it that regal sounding. Is there royalty on this planet? Because she sounds, stands, and appears like someone that would be royal.
?: Just like how I don't know who you are and why you're here.
?: Explain yourself.
Cuz: Oh, right, sorry.
Cuz: Name's Marie Hattie, most badass woman from the planet Earth.
Cuz: Now the most badass on this piece of poison rock.
Cuz: And you are?
She looks you over for a second before laughing at you.
?: I'm sorry, you're the most badass woman in this Land?
?: That's funny, you Earthlings are funny.
?: I, am the Black Princess of Derse.
BP: And right now, you are trespassing on Dersian territory.
Cuz: Oh, well excuse me Princess.
Cuz: But it wasn't really my idea to come here.
BP: Let me guess.
BP: A game brought you here?
BP: By the name of SBURB?
Cuz: Holy shit, yeah it did!
Cuz: How'd you know?
BP: This isn't the first time this has happened.
BP: I can tell you the history of Derse, Skaia, and the game if you want.
BP: But first, there is a minor Imp problem behind us.
She points and you turn around, seeing a number of Imps and lizard things clambering over the hill.
Cuz: Ah, so there is.
Cuz: Care to do this the human way, your Highness?
BP: The human way?
Cuz: I got an El Camino full of soda, chips and marijuana.
Cuz: Hop in, I'll move some things around and we can run these bastards down.
BP: Miss Hattie.
BP: I like the way you think.
Cuz: Aw, yeah.
Cuz: Fuck bitches, get money!
BP: I like that.
BP: That is a nice phrase.
BP: Fuck bitches, get money!