== Cuz: Drive around
With the new royal passenger, you keep enjoying your rampage by running over the Imps and lizard things. Basalisks is what the Princess told you they're called. They don't like creatures from Greek mythology. EIther way, they give an obviously larger amount of Grist than the Imps, but you still can't pick them up. Geez, is anyone even making things or building? It's almost like everyone's stagnant until they become relevant again instead of doing shit. At least you have a trail back to your house. Maybe you should head back so you can talk in a slightly less deadly area. Nah, riding and killing is the proper way to do things. Speaking of talking, this Princess has been going on for a while and you've been not paying any attention whatsoever. Ok, jumping in now wouldn't be a very big problem.
BP: ...and then my dad kills my uncle, and then tramples around Skaia.
BP: There, he will continue to destroy and burn until the Reckoning happens.
BP: At that point, everything ends.
BP: Just... just fucking ends.
BP: And then...
BP: Huh, give me a second...
Cuz: What?
Cuz: Acid getting to your head?
BP: No, this Land doesn't affect me.
BP: It's just...
BP: I don't know what happens next actually.
BP: Just, everything turns back to right before the war started.
BP: But with new Lands and a new Skaia.
BP: It's weird.
Cuz: Oh...
Cuz: So, wait a second.
Cuz: You've been through this shit before?
BP: Yep, no idea how many times, but I've lived through it.
BP: The exact same shit over, and over, and over again...
Cuz: Dude, that sounds terrible.
BP: Yeah, it is.
BP: Oh, three Imps to the left.
She points to the left side of the window and directs your attention to the group of creatures. You smirk and quickly jerk the wheel to line them all up. You floor it and hit all three of them at once, exploding into the black ink-blood stuff and Grist. This will never not be fun.
BP: Yeah bitch!
BP: This is awesome!
Cuz: Better than just hanging out in front of a lake?
BP: Ehh, top three at best.
Cuz: Oh, haha Princess.
Cuz: This is badass and you know it.
BP: Yeah, it is and yeah I do.
BP: Shit, I am hungry.
Cuz: We got chips and Mountain Dew.
BP: Yeah... no.
BP: I'm sure it's good but I mean for like real food.
Cuz: Buzzkill.
Cuz: Ok, I have food back at my house.
BP: Wait a second...
BP: There's a town near here, let's go there.
Cuz: Oh, an alien town on a planet filled with acid lakes and bright enough that I'm almost blind.
Cuz: This'll be fun.
BP: That's he spirit!
BP: You're gonna want to take a right just over that hill, past the pond.
== Cuz and BP: Go to the town
You drive and listen to the Princess, keeping the patter of killing Imps in check. For roughly fifteen minutes you drive before finally coming across a small town, more of a village, at the base of a hill. It is a very... simple village to say the least. Two rows of house facing each other with a few separate buildings on the outskirts. The only thing not consistent is that all the houses looked like they were from different places in history. Got some Greek, Egyptian, Gothic, all kinds of shit. Almost looks like that little village from The Cutie Map episode. Why did you know such a detail from an episode of a cartoon made for children? Not important. What is, is that there is probably actual food down there which will make your passenger shut up. No place to park it looks like so... You drive up and simply stop right out the main road. You both hop out and lock the car, making sure to keep the keys close to you. Never know what kinda people hang out in this weird town.
At least, you do know one thing about that. These 'people' are not actually people but instead purple and blue cat things. They're cute, but kind of small. Like, only coming up to your thighs. They must be a little bit intelligent because of the advanced architecture, so they should at least have some eadable food. You think. You have been fooled by stupid people before. Freaking voting for that orange dipshit thinking he knew what he was doing... That made you the idiot. Anything, what were you doing? Right, going into the town to find food. You and the Princess make your ways between the rows of buildings and finally find one that looks a little restaurant like.
== Cuz and BP: Go eat
Before you can step inside, you hear someone yelling to you.
Jazz: holy shit, Cuz!
Jazz: what are you doing here?
Cuz: What?
Cuz: Oh shit!
Cuz: What's up little dude?
Cuz: What are you doing here?
Jazz: just got done doing stupid side quests
Jazz: taking things from one place to another
Jazz: a lot of things that can be easily done by the people that gave me the things
Cuz: Oh my God, you were doing fetch quests?
Cuz: You were right, Princess.
Cuz: This place is nothing more than a giant video game.
BP: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold up a second.
BP: You.
BP: Girl thing.
Jazz: the name's Jazz, nice to meet you!
BP: Shut up.
BP: You're a player.
BP: What's your moon?
Jazz: my...
Jazz: what?
BP: Moon.
BP: Derse or Prospit.
BP: Which one do you dream in?
You look at her and notice her hand slip into her pockets. What she did next was a little unnerving. She quickly pulled out a knife and held it up to Jazz, asking the question again.
Jazz: uhh, i, uh...
Jazz: i don't know!
Jazz: i don't even know what that is!
Cuz: Whoa, BP, calm your tits bitch!
BP: Hmm...
BP: You obviously haven't been there yet.
BP: Go to sleep, tell me where you wake up.
Jazz: what?
Cuz: What?
BP: Shut up.
BP: Let's eat first.
BP: The player is paying.
Jazz: oh, sure...
Jazz: my stupid fetch questing can pay for the subpar food these Consorts have
Jazz: i mean, it's not like you're a princess
BP: I ain't got no Boonbucks.
BP: What royal Dersite just caries around money?
Jazz: that is a very good point
Jazz: another good point is that i don't have Boonbucks
Jazz: i have Boondollars
BP: Oh, shut up.
BP: That isn't going to be relevant once you Time bitch starts doing the, uh...
BP: Whatever it's called with the LoFaF lotery.
BP: Let's get some food.
== Cuz, Jazz and BP: Eat
All three of you enter the restaurant and are seated by a small tiger almost immediately. It's hard to tell what the place is meant to be like considering how mixed and wild the interior is. It has the same Greek architecture, but with a lot of Egyptian and modern western art. Very weird. These guys have no style coordination. And the food on the menu didn't really make much sense either. It was written kinda childish but cute. You actually need the Princess to read most of it, but in the end you all three get some kind of acid fish tacos. Mmm, fish tacos. Shit, can I ditch early and go get lunch? No? Oh, screw you!
You all wait for a few minutes and eventually get your food. Somehow, this looks better than the tacos at that Mexican place back in Seattle. Good job, El Panchos. You got outdid by tigers on a planet in a video game that destroyed the universe. Fuck you, El Panchos. You watch as the Princess pretty much downs the entire thing at once before taking your own bite. And, holy shit, this is good. Like, ok, fuck everything on Earth this takes first place. That is, until your mouth borderline catches on fire. The after taste of the taco hits harder than you did with your car on those Imps. Like, Jesus, that is like the equivalent of see Chris Hemsworth wet and half naked. Not fully naked, but that half naked shit. That real hot shit. Moving on from that, you take and down the entire glass of, what you assume is, water to a point you can't breath.
After nearly dying via fire tonge, you force yourself to eat the rest of the taco. It burns the same, but you are willing to take it. It's an ends justify the means situation, but with tacos. The flavor is almost like salmon, but with a hint of... you want to say oregano and pepper. Does this place have Earth spices? Most be some kind of alien alternative, but it's good either way up until the burn hits again. You all finish after a few minutes and relaxed against the uncomfortable chairs. Maybe you should talk about what's going on. Specifically, what that whole dream and Prospit or Derse thing is about.
Cuz: Uh, hey, BP?
BP: Yo?
Cuz: What was that whole deal with dreaming and moons about?
BP: Oh, right.
BP: This Land is revolving around a planet called Skaia, the center of the universe.
BP: In between the Lands and Skaia is one bright yellow moon called Prospit.
BP: Filled with a lot of peace loving pussies.
BP: Way, way, waaay out of the Lands is a purple moon.
BP: My home, Derse.
Jazz: ok, but what does that have to do with me and dreaming?
BP: I'm getting there, Player.
BP: Geez, you have the patience of a Prospitian.
BP: Anyways, when a player goes to sleep they will awaken on one of the two moons.
BP: Those that awake on Prospit are fighters that work greater as leaders.
BP: And vice verse for Derse.
Jazz: oh...
Jazz: well, i think i'm a pretty good fighter with my laser pen.
Jazz: would that mean i'm a Prospit dreamer?
Jazz: but then again, i was voted to be the leader so...
BP: Just go to sleep and you'll find out.
Cuz: Oh, that should be easy.
Cuz: Little dude can't stay awake after eating something!
Jazz: Cuz!
BP: Hey, it's cool Player.
BP: I have a sleeping thing myself.
BP: Now, pay for our lunch then get in the El Camino to take a nap.
BP: There, you'll figure shit out.
Jazz: sounds like a plan because i have been weirdly tired since i got here
BP: Yep, that's the game working on ya.
BP: It makes the players tired so they would be on their moons more often.
BP: More or less an extremely important part of the game.
Jazz: yay, important things!
BP: You are way too cheery for my liking.
Cuz: Oh my God, I know.
Cuz: Imagine having to live with that for fifteen years.
Jazz: don't you mean seventeen?
Cuz: Uhh...
Cuz: How old are you?