*Chapter 23: Loneliness and Life Inside*
A month passed by. It has been a month since she left him. It was hard not to be with him. Belle was back at her house which is dusty, and her things have returned to her room. When the Losers Club see her ran back home the day Pennywise let her go, they were wondering what happened. Of course, Belle told them what happened after they left. It was hard for them to believe that the clown releases Belle after he accidently slice her stomach, but they are thrilled to have her back home. But Belle wasn't. She is still a monster like him, she is immortal, but she wanted to be with him. She loved him too much. Then it hit her. The hibernation. Will she hibernate with him? She wasn't sure if she should return to Pennywise the day of hibernate. It's the middle of August, and they both have to slumber in a couple days.
Belle doesn't know what to do anymore. She didn't even bother to go back to work at the library or babysit some kids. She's been avoiding everyone. She doesn't have any dreams about the cult or Maturin. Maybe they see what had happened. They really didn't want her to be part of Pennywise's life.
Belle started to feel nauseous and rush to her bathroom. She threw up in the toilet. She's been having morning sickness lately after she left the Neibolt house. Then it hit her. She made love with Pennywise, and she couldn't get periods since she is no longer a normal woman. A few morning sicknesses the last few days. Belle covered her mouth in realization.
"Oh god..." She whispered. She couldn't be. She can't be. Was it even possible? She slowly sat at the edge of the tub, and feel her stomach. Belle closes her eyes, using the power to focus on it. She could sense a faint heartbeat. A new life is growing inside her. Belle opened her eyes and tears fall from her eyes. She is holding a child of a beast. "I'm...pregnant." She whispered.
What could she do? She's never a mother before. What will the others think? Most of all, what will Pennywise think? This is his child. His first child. This child will be born a monster like them. Belle place both hands on her stomach.
"This baby is also mine. For Pennywise, I will keep it." She said. So she flushes the toilet and head inside her bedroom to rest.
Things have been quiet around Derry. Except that kids still go missing. It's like everything is almost normal without a clown lurking around town for a while to Belle. She hasn't seen him. No balloons, no blood, no nursery rhyme. Is he still upset about harming Belle by accident? Belle touches her stomach and tried not to think about it. Who will she tell about her pregnancy? People will talk. Even the Losers Club will be shocked.
I am a poor pilgrim of sorrow,
Cast out in this wide world to roam.
Uncertain of life for tomorrow,
I want to make heaven my home.
Belle turned to see the librarian walk out of the library. The old woman noticed her. She looks so surprised to see Belle alive. She rushed over to her and embrace her, nearly crying. Belle didn't say a word and hug her boss back. She knew the librarian wanted the story of Belle's whereabouts.
Robert stood behind the tree, watching his mate reunite the librarian in silent. He wanted to go to her, but couldn't. He hurt her. It hurts him more when he sees her. Robert walked away from the tree to get to the Neibolt house.
Sometimes I am tossed and driven,
Sometimes I know not where to roam.
I've heard of The City called Heaven,
I'm striving to make it my home.
I have a few days yet to wander,
A few more hard battles to fight.
No comfort I find in the daylight,
the storms are descending each night.
XX
Bill and Georgie stood in front of Belle's front lawn with their bikes, watching the house. Georgie wanted to see his babysitter again, but she didn't want to come out of the house to face him or Bill.
"I want to see her, Billy. I miss her so much." Georgie said with a frown.
"M-m-me too, Georgie." Bill said softly. "But she doesn't want to c-c-c-come out. Since she left IT." Georgie's tears fall from his eyes and slowly rode away from the house, and Bill followed.
From inside the house, Belle stood by the window, watching the boys ride their bikes from her lawn. She feels bad for not coming out to see them, but not today. She can't face anyone yet. She is broken. For leaving Pennywise and holding his child.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "Soon I will see you, but...not now."
Sometimes I feel tossed and driven,
Sometimes I know not where to roam.
I've heard of The City called Heaven,
I'm going to make it my home.
I wander in this land of danger,
No comfort or peace will I find.
I am a poor way baring stranger,
Two troubles and trials confined.
XX
Posters of Kyle were put up. People believe he was missing. But he really isn't. Pennywise killed him. All because of Belle. It's only been a month since his death. Belle noticed the posters and see a smile on Kyle's photo.
"I'm sorry." Belle said, looking away from the poster. She looked across the street to see the Losers Club on their bikes, watching her. Belle stared back at them. Georgie almost rushed over, but Bill held him back. Belle let out a sigh and walk across the street to greet them. "Hey."
"Hey, Belle." Beverly spoke. "How you holding up?"
"We haven't seen you in ages." Richie said. "You should be happy to be with us."
"You're still not upset about...you know, IT?" Stan asked. Belle brushed her bangs away from her eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it right now, okay?" She said. "Look, I'm sorry for not being around anymore for a long time, it's just that...I have a lot to deal with. And about Kyle-"
"He doesn't deserve it!" Mike snapped. "You let him die!" The kids face him in shock. They didn't expect him to burst out like that towards Belle.
I hope that they take me in, In Heaven, Heaven, Heaven.
Deliverance, deliverance, deliverance.
"We're trying to tell you that he didn't get us in the house! We wanted to help us get you back and fight the clown!" Mike continued. "And you just stood there and let Kyle die!"
"Mike, calm down!" Beverly tried to speak to in a calm voice, but Eddie joined in.
"Mike's right! You've changed!" He said. "And we almost got killed back there!"
"What happens if one of us got eaten by that fucking clown?!" Richie said, waving his hand around to gesture his friends around him. "Or will you eat us too? Or kill us like you did to Henry?"
"Enough!" Belle shouted, her eyes turn golden yellow at Richie. The kids stumble back a bit at the sight of her eyes. Georgie went behind Bill. Belle took a breath and her eyes turn back to green. "You know I wouldn't do that to any of you." She told them. "All I wanted is to protect you. Yet, you guys broke the deal by barging in the house. Look, I have to go. Just stay out of trouble." Belle walked away from the kids in a hurry. Bill sighed and rode off along with his little brother, leaving the others. Mike felt bad for bringing Kyle up. He should've kept his mouth shut.
Sometimes I am tossed and driven,
Sometimes I know not where to roam.
I've heard of The City called Heaven,
I'm striving to make it my home.
I see the world ship drawing nearer,
the Captain is calling my name.
XX
Pennywise sat alone in the lair, mourning, and hasn't eaten in days. He missed his mate so much. Her smile, her eyes, her hair, her beautiful singing voice, everything about her. But he couldn't watch over her since that one day as Robert. It hurts him too much. Whenever he tried to feed, he couldn't get his mind off of her. He couldn't get her terrified face when he slashed her stomach by accident out of his mind. Pennywise didn't forgive himself. He had to let her go, because he loved her. Pennywise doesn't want to hurt her even more. The smell of her fear is too much.
He's getting weaker, he has to feed soon. The hibernation is around the corner. He must slumber alone. Belle deserved better. So the clown left his lair to get into town to find prey.
To you my old friends and companions,
Your fate and my own are the same.
Sometimes I feel tossed and driven,
Sometimes I know not where to roam.
I've heard of The City called Heaven,
I'm hoping to make it my home.
The next day, Belle was invited to dinner at the Denbrough's. Belle sat quietly at the table, picking on the salad with a fork while the family were eating. Mr. Denbrough cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence.
"Nice to have you back, Belle. We have missed you." He said. Belle didn't speak.
"Yes. Nice to have you back." Mrs. Denbrough agreed. "Now, mind telling us where you been all these months?"
"...Travelling." Belle lied. "It's been rough. I...met someone."
"Oh really? Who is he?" Mrs. Denbrough asked. Bill and Georgie exchange glances, then look at Belle.
"He was...different. We didn't get along at first, but then, I can see care inside of him. He cares about me a lot. He protects me, takes care of me, and...we sort of eloped." Belle said. Mrs. Denbrough nearly dropped her fork.
"Eloped?!"
"We...did the...Consummation." Belle said, trying to keep the story clean for the boys. Though Bill knows the story well. But Georgie doesn't know what the word meant. "Things are going great between us, but...he did something to me he didn't mean to do. And...he wants me to leave because of it." Belle said, trying not to cry.
"My goodness." Mrs. Denbrough said. "I...don't know what to say, but...I'm so sorry."
"Don't be." Belle said. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Because...I'm pregnant." Bill choked on his food as his parents gasp in shock. Belle seen that coming from Bill. "I know what you are all thinking right now. But, I am keeping the baby. For his sake."
"But Belle-" Mr. Denbrough spoke, but Belle stood from the chair.
"I'm sorry, but...I gotta go home. Thanks for dinner." She said, grabbing her car keys and head out the door. Bill couldn't believe what he just heard. Belle is holding Pennywise's baby. And she's going to keep it. Other than that, she's still upset about the day she left him. She really loved him. Mr. Denbrough looks over at his wife in confusion.
"She's pregnant." He repeated. "Pregnant."
"I'm going to talk with her tomorrow." Mrs. Denbrough said. "The poor dear doesn't even know how to take care of herself with the baby." Two boys excuse themselves from the table to get to Bill's room to talk.
As soon as she's back to the house, Belle collapse on the couch, looking up at the ceiling thinking things over in her mind. She had to tell someone she's pregnant, and she doesn't want to see Bill after the reaction he made at the table. Sure he was shocked, but was he also angry? Belle doesn't care. Whether he likes it or not, she is keeping the baby. It's Pennywise's baby.
Nothing will change her mind about keeping the child of the Eater of Worlds.
"Pennywise..." She whispered. Tears are forming in her eyes. If only she could see him again.
"Belle... Belle..." A voice called. Belle opened her eyes to found herself in a cave. Why is she here? The voice doesn't belong to Maturin either. Belle recognized the voice. It was the woman in red. She turned to see her sitting on the boulder. She took off her hood. She has light blond hair. "So, you finally see the light. But you are holding the devil's child." She said.
"Why am I here?" Belle asked.
"To tell you what was going to come down." The woman replied. "Are you aware that Pennywise's hibernation is coming?"
"Yes. Why?"
"In 27 years, it will be the last time you will see him." The woman said. "The Losers Club will return and destroy him once and for all."
"What?! How do you know about that?"
"I see what the future holds, Belle. You and the child will not last long. Without the monster, you two will join him in death."
"No...it can't be true." Belle said, shaking her head. "Pennywise can't die!"
"Oh, he can. There is only one way to defeat him. And you know what it is." The woman in red said. Belle remembered what cult she's in. The Power of Chud. Could it be Pennywise's weakness? If what this woman said was true, then the Losers Club will use it in 27 years when Pennywise returns after a long sleep. If he dies, then she dies with him. So will the child.
"Fuck..." Belle growled, holding her forehead. "What am I going to do?"
"Join the cult, and you will be spared in 27 years. The child of yours will be mortal just like you." The woman in red replied. Belle stared at her. Mortal? The cult can make her mortal? And her child will be as well? "Listen to your heart, Belle. Think about your life growing inside you." The woman fades away as the cave started to crumble down.
She gasped and sat up on the couch. So many questions filling her mind. The cult wanted her to join them. They can make her mortal again, and her child will be as well. What will she do? She's worried about the future. Pennywise will die in 27 years by the Losers Club when they're adults. She doesn't want Pennywise to die, but she doesn't want to die with her child either.
"What do I do? What do I do?" She asked herself, touching her stomach.
*Song: I Am A Poor Pilgrim of Sorrow*