A/N: Kyaaaa~ Christmas is drawing near and the first term of Secondary 3 is nearly over for me! Holidays have started, I'm watching Wreck-It Ralph on TV, exams are coming, and all is well for now! Update coming soon!

Chapter 8: Intervention VI – Weeks Pass By

Lyrical Title: Time Passes By

Date of Writing: 5-6 December 2018 (at least)

Date of Typing/Editing: 13 & 22 December 2018

Warning: Foul language and insults. Languages which are most certainly not English. More focus on (more) canon characters.

The weeks passed by. Lessons came and went. The weather got cooler, as Ara had found when she had to wear an extra layer, a down jacket and a Warming Charm.

"Are you okay, Ara?" Juliet had asked her as she read Bauhinia Daily on the beige leather couch in her shared tent's sitting room area, her textbooks and notes for Physics, Biology, Mathematics, Geography, History, Magical Theory, Astronomy and Combat Arts stacked up seven to eight centimetres (3 inches in the Imperial System) thick on the coffee table in front. Juliet too had Arithmancy, Runes, Muggle Studies (Are British magicals really this ignorant of the mundane? To have to have classes on their daily lives, as in why they need electricity?), Care of Magical Creatures and Divination. She was aiming for 12 OWLs, Juliet had told her. "I mean, you have to study even more subjects than I do. You have all those Muggle subjects on top of your magical ones."

"I'm fine, Julie…let me test the Spell of the Week first." She put down the newspaper and grasped her wand from on top of her book stack on the coffee table. Poplar wood, as her father had told her when she got her wand from him. She flicked her right wrist. "Transfodio."

The spell struck the coffee table, as she wasn't aiming when she cast it, blasting a small hole in the table's leg, like a pistol with invisible bullets. "Whoa…the Piercing Curse, invented by an American new-blood to mimic the effects of firearms…no wonder," Ara murmured to herself. "It worked…though I bet the Ministry's going to Ban this within the week."

"Ban?! What do you mean, Ban?" Juliet was looking at her, thunderstruck.

"Yes. There are Bans on the Unforgivables, Fiendfyre, Horcruxes – whatever they are, but if it's Banned, then it has to be very, very bad – Firestorm, the Eradication Spell, the Slashing Curse, the Silver Arrows Curse, the Slashing Blades Curse, the Dismembering Curse, the Gutting Curse, Engorgio Skullus, the Entrail-Expelling Curse and many other Dark spells; and the usage of many other spells like Obliviate, the Blasting Curse, the Disillusionment Charm, Expulso, the Fidelius Charm, the Legilimency Spell, Portus, Confundo, the Permanent Sticking Charm, the Reductor Curse, Bombarda, Bombarda Maxima, the Taboo, the Unbreakable Vow, etc., are regulated to various degrees by the Department of Safety and Concealment. And that's not counting the potions and magical objects."

That was when Juliet's pile of books – in her hands – dropped to the floor.

"Your Ministry is mental," she heard Juliet mutter, shaking her head as her friend levitated her fallen books onto the coffee table.

"Yours would too if they had even an ounce of intelligence," she countered…in her head. "They can all be so dangerous."

Two mornings later, an owl carrying a Howler landed in front of Mr. Kirkland – the younger one, of course. Ara didn't like Howlers. Public humiliation wasn't really her thing. Yet apparently, Brits enjoyed this like it's just casual morning entertainment – unless they happened to be on the unfortunate receiving end of the red shouting letters.

The colour drained from Mr. Kirkland's face faster than a hamster running on its wheel on crack. She had no idea where the metaphor came from, nor did she know the actual effects of a hamster on cocaine, but whatever.

The red envelope was opened. It rose into the air.

"HEY EYEBROWS!" shouted a voice – that of someone who was most likely a young man. He had an American accent…which was a bit strange. "GUESS WHAT? WE'LL BE DROPPING BY ON HALLOWEEN! SO BE PREPARED TO BE WRECKED IN OUR CONTEST!" And…yes, he sounded very enthusiastic about this…and he definitely sang that last part. (But Scar's the villain…not a hero…now what do we do? Traitor!)

"And be prepared for this Dorcus," deadpanned another voice. "I'm not coming, by the w–"

"OI!" the loud American(?) voice cut in again. "YOU CAN'T USE MY OWN INSULTS AGAINST ME!"

"Well, we freaking well can, you…boon chon doi!" retorted a third voice after a pause.

"MATTIE!" cried the first voice again. "HELP ME! THESE DUDES ARE GANGING UP ON ME!"

"Sorry, brother," a soft voice, presumably "Mattie" answered. The reply sounded as though he had zero regrets.

"BUT YOU'RE MY BROTHER!" the American(?) voice had broken into an overdramatic whine. "MY TWIN BROTHER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOU TRAI–" And he was cut off by the third voice.

"Apa kabar, Kiasu Harbour." She noticed that the representative for her side of the exchange programme (sent by the Ministry?) paling instantly like Mr. Kirkland. She wondered why, and what 'Kiasu Harbour' had anything to do with him, and if the two representatives were related in any sense (or if the surnames thing was just a coincidence – after all, she knew a girl surnamed Yeung at home, and they weren't related as far as she knew). "The rest of the Isles and I come in tomorrow. I think you should get some alcohol and honey-flavoured Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. We'll be here for a while."

All of a sudden, another loud and obnoxious voice rang out, "HOW CAN YOU GUYS FORGET ABOUT ME? ICH, THE AWESOME PRU–"

"Sia lah, shut up for once, Beilshmidt!" shouted the third voice once again. There was an awkward silence of about five seconds (Ara could swear that she heard crickets chirping at the wrong time of day) before he said, "Okay, bye!" And at last, the Howler ripped itself into pieces.

Indeed, the next morning saw the arrivals of Emrys Kirkland of Wales, Keiran Campbell-Kirkland of Northern Ireland, Erin K. Campbell of Ireland and Ethan Chia of Singapore. Ara did wonder, why the devil are there so many Kirklands? And what is a Singaporean doing here? Isn't this just supposed to concern the UK and home?

The 'diplomats' (or are they? Ara's mind questioned. Why is there one for every part of the UK instead of just one for the whole country?) showed up to the DA meetings, as she saw when Juliet dragged her to Hogsmede and Harry Potter's skills were…volunteered by his friends to teach the school Combat Arts as their teacher was indeed a puk gai. They even staged duels and helped teach during the meetings to "show how this sh!t is done" – she wasn't quite sure who said that, but someone did.

"You can't wave your wand and just say the incantation in a fight," another one of the 'diplomats' had said one meeting. "You. Have. To. Move. Or you'll be a freaking sitting duck. Dodge. Use whatever you can get to get on top: fight dirty, use the environment around you and any tricks you have up your sleeve, anything that won't get you in trouble with the law."

The seven 'diplomats' plus Caoimhe (Kiva? Keeva? What?) then had a duel to demonstrate their point, all versus all.

"I'm gonna win this," said the oldest Kirkland, Alistair.

"I'd like to see you try," countered the "full-blooded Irishwoman", as she had claimed.

"Fong ma guo lai lah," the youngest in the group had stated, dark eyes burning with intensity. (Wait, isn't Caoimhe the youngest? Then again, looks aren't everything…)

After putting up a barrier between the duelists and the onlookers, the Great Duel in the Room of Requirement began. It took twenty-four minutes to end: all left of the impromptu arena were magical fireworks exploding left and right, several broken Dark Detectors, bookcases which were blasted to splinters cuts and scorch marks and holes in the walls, marks of explosions in the floor; a large collapsed wooden table with a missing leg, a black sheep being tied down and beat repeatedly in the back with said missing leg; the Campbells still locked in a duel; an army of various creatures attacking the remaining two Kirkland brothers, one of whom was Hexed to speak non-stop in expletives (the older members of the DA were forced to shield the younger ones' ears), something invisible (a tiny winged green rabbit, Luna Lovegood had described it as, though) tugging on the Hongkonger's hair; clothing being turned various colours, clothes being set on FIYAH…let's just say that it looked like a bomb had been thrown into where a typhoon had passed through.

The audience was stunned…figuratively.

Ron Weasley was the first to break the silence.

"BLOODY HELL!"

Throughout the weeks, the number of pranks played on High Inquisitor Umbridge increased. The kitten plates on her office wall were Charmed to insult her, some of which were extremely creative and/or extremely crude. Books were enchanted to fly all over the library (the main result, though, was a very furious Madam Pince), the classrooms (only when Professor Umbridge was inspecting, of course), the offices, anywhere. Cling film (US: Saran wrap) was found wrapped on the toilets, and packets of ketchup, jam, etc. (the kind you get at fast food restaurants) were placed under toilet seats (please refer to Captain Underpants: Wrath of the Wicked Wedgie Woman). Doors were stuck to their frames with Sticking Charms, in large quantities, to the point that classes had to be cancelled one day due to the sheer number of doors stuck to their frames with Permanent Sticking Charms. Objects of all sorts were Transfigured and Charmed left and right, sometimes rather inappropriately. Dungbombs were set off in the corridors every other day. The Weasley twins were receiving a suspiciously large revenue in Galleons. And before the first Hogsmede visit, a Halloween Ball (costumes required!) was announced.

And…that's about all that was, really.

TRANSLATION TIME, AGAIN!

The Slashing Curse = Sectumsempra

Boon chon doi: a Malay insult…look it up yourself. I will warn you though, its literal meaning is a little…sexual.

Apa kabar: Malay for "hello" (please correct me if I'm wrong)

Ich: "I" or "Me" (used in this context) in German

Sia lah: Singlish for something along the lines of "OMG"

Puk gai:…please refer to Chapter 1

Fong ma guo lai lah: Basically "Come at me, bro" in Cantonese (in terms of meaning only as the literal translation is different)

A/N: There and done!

Please leave a review!

Next time on Bauhinia, Globe and Trolling the Racists: a bird of prey soared into Hogwarts at breakfast on Halloween. Pandemonium ensued.