== Jazz: Plan with your team
You pull Saylen, Cuz and the princess aside you so this group chat can be all inclusive. This is a situation that deserves maximum attention from everyone. Maximum effort! You should probably send some kind of mass message to everyone to get them to join. Is Email still a thing, because that could be useful for this. Well, a quick look into your Scoutertop Glasses can answer that! You know what? Just sending everyone the same thing in Pester and then going to the chat could work, too. Which is what you do, sending everyone the same message: group chat, now, important shiznit. Perfect message.
== Jazz: Join chat
trainingInformant [TI] has joined the chat
Jazz: you guys better answer!
quadriclopsRapper [QR] has joined the chat
Cavdit: Sup.
Jazz: sup.
Cuz: Sup.
BP: Sup.
Cavdit: \/\/o\/\/, I ha\/e /\/e\/er had so /\/\a/\/y people say sup to /\/\e at o/\/ce.
Cavdit: I feel i ha\/e succeeded at so/\/\ethi/\/g.
Saylen: y(o)ure easy t(o) se[f satisfacti(o)n arent y(o)u?
Cavdit: Bet your /\/\urderi/\/g ass I a/\/\!
Cavdit: Speaki/\/g of \/\/hich, I'/\/\ goi/\/g to fucki/\/g /\/\urder you.
Saylen: what!?
Saylen: cavdit what the he[[?
Jazz: dude!
Jazz: you cannot just threaten someone like that!
Cavdit: She killed /\/\istuo!
Cavdit: Ho\/\/ ca/\/ you /\/ot /\/ot threate/\/ her!?
Jazz: because that was her bitch future self!
Jazz: she literally just left after telling us-
hospitableSecondary [HS] has joined the chat
Yttrim: Hellos!
Cavdit: Yttrim!
Cavdit: Did/\/'t Sayle/\/ kill /\/\istuo a/\/d I deser\/e to threathe/\/ her?
Yttrim: Wha-?
Yttrim: Well…
Yttrim: Yeah, bu- no- our Saylen.
Yttrim: I- was -ha- Saylen from-
intimidatingPrimary [IP] joined the chat
Ridams: tthe ffutture!
Ridams: or difffferentt ttiimelliine
Ridams: iitts conffusiing butt she iisntt our sayllen
Yttrim: Exac-ly.
reanimatedRenaissance [RR] joined the chat
Vlad: Greetings.
Jazz: Vlad!
Jazz: tell Cavdit he doesn't have to kill our Say because Mistuo was killed by Say's future self!
Vlad: Oh!
Vlad: Yes, please don't.
rodentialAstoundant [RA] joined the chat
Firyut: *#ello!*
Vlad: *Hello!*
Vlad: Now, anyways, do not muRdeR this Saylen.
Cavdit: So.
Cavdit: Let /\/\e try a/\/d u/\/dersta/\/d.
Cavdit: I ca/\/ kill the Sayle/\/ that ca/\/\e fro/\/\ the future.
Cavdit: But /\/ot the o/\/e that is curre/\/tly \/\/ith Jazz/\/\y/\/e?
Yttrim: Yes.
Ridams: yep
Vlad: AffiRmative.
Saylen: im a g(o)(o)d (o)ne
Cavdit: Alright.
Cavdit: Just \/\/a/\/ti/\/g to get e\/erthi/\/g right.
Firyut: *can someone tell me w#ats #appening?*
Jazz: *had to keep Cavdit from accidentally killing the wrong Say.*
Firyut: *o#*
Jazz: *yeah.*
Ridams: moviing on
Ridams: why diid you callll us allll here?
Jazz: oh!
Jazz: right!
Jazz: ok, so, as it turns out, our future Saylen has some plans.
Jazz: specifically, plans to fuck with our session until she can rule the universe we make.
Yttrim: Oh my!
Vlad: Wait, you guys didn't know that?
Yttrim: Wha-?
Vlad: Yeah, I was told that a while ago.
Saylen: by wh(o)!?
Vlad: Jazzmyne.
Vlad: Well, anotheR Jazzmyne.
Vlad: FRom the same timeline as the futuRe Saylen.
Jazz: there's a future me?
Vlad: Yes, but she said that due to timey-wimey Reasons she couldn't talk to anyone asides me.
Vlad: Wait, no…
Vlad: She said she also spoke to ouR Saylen, but only when futuRe Saylen showed up.
Saylen: (o)h yeah
Saylen: that did happen
Saylen: that was s(o) many chapters ag(o) i c(o)mp[ete[y f(o)rg(o)t ab(o)ut it
Jazz: timey-wimey reasons?
Saylen: did she perhaps use the term wibb[y w(o)bb[y bef(o)re that?
Vlad: Um, yes?
Vlad: Not impoRtant.
Vlad: She explained to me that this Saylen was bitten by a VampiRic DeRsite named Jack NoiR.
BP: Jack Noir!
BP: Fuck that guy!
BP: The damn bastard is an agent hired by my mum to kill you players, and he is a giant dick!
Yttrim: Excuse me.
Yttrim: -here's someone -rying -o kill us?
Yttrim: -ha- was hired by royal-y?
BP: Yes.
Vlad: Yes, the futuRe Jazz said heR Saylen was bitten by him afteR I bit him to attempt to kill him.
Vlad: AppRrently, afteR being cRossed two species, the ability to contRol the ones undeR a VampiRe's cuRse is lost.
Vlad: Saylen-the futuRe one-went off on heR own afteR losing heRself, going off about wanting moRe.
Saylen: s(o)unds [ike me
Ridams: very much lliike you
Saylen: shut up
Vlad: So, yes, to avoid that situation on ouR end, I am going to attempt to avoid this Jack as well as I can.
Vlad: Shouldn't be all that haR-
introvertedWordsmith [IWS] joined the chat
Saylen: …
Jazz: …
Yttrim: …
Ridams: …
Cavdit: …
Firyut: ...
Vlad: ...haRd.
Mistuo: Vh, hey.
Mistuo: S-o-...
Mistuo: Things happened.
Yttrim: Mistuo!
Yttrim: Holy fuck, you're alive!
Cavdit: Ok, hol' o/\/ up a sec there Grupka.
Cavdit: /\/\istuo.
Mistuo: Cavdit.
Cavdit: ...I love the /\/e\/\/ getup.
Mistuo: -O-h!
Mistuo: Thanks!
Mistuo: I g-o-t it when I Ascended!
Mistuo: Al-o-ng with these bad b-o-ys.
The Moss-blooded Troll turns to a point where his back is visible in his screen, showing a large pair of dark-green butterfly-like wings.
Mistuo: I can fly, babies!
Ridams: dude
Ridams: badass!
Cavdit: Extre/\/\ely badass!
Firyut: *mistuo!*
Mistuo: -O-h, hell!
Mistuo: *I'm s-o-rry Firyvt!*
Mistuo: *L-o-o-k!*
Mistuo: *It w-o-rked!*
Firyut: *i can see t#at!*
Firyut: *o# my god…*
Firyut: *i killed you!*
Jazz: wait, what now?
Ridams: whatt?
Mistuo: -O-h, yes, y-o-v see.
Mistuo: Firyvt here had t-o- kill me -o-n an -o-bject called a Sacrificial Slab.
Vlad: Oh my.
Cuz: Jesus.
Cuz: Dude, she doesn't look anymore than ten!
Cuz: You made her kill you?
Mistuo: What?
Mistuo: Firyvt isn't ten.
Cuz: She isn't?
Mistuo: She's five and a half.
Cuz: What.
Jazz: they're aliens, their aging system is weird.
Jazz: five there is equivalent to ten here.
Cuz: That still isn't any better!
Mistuo: L-o-o-k, m-o-ving -o-n!
Mistuo: When she did, I heard this strange…
Mistuo: Ticking s-o-vnd f-o-r a minvte bef-o-re walking vp -o-n Skaia.
Mistuo: Like a grandfather cl-o-ck -o-r s-o-mething.
BP: Wait, where are you?
Mistuo: Skaia.
BP: Say hi to my dad for me!
BP: He should be the giant black creature made up of all the Sprites you prototypes destroying the Battlefield.
Mistuo: I see him and I am n-o-t g-o-ing near that thing.
Mistuo: I'm actvally ab-o-vt t-o- make my way via flying t-o- -o-ne -o-f the Lands.
Jazz: don't come over here, the air is poisonous.
Saylen: i w(o)u[dnt trust my [and either
Saylen: my future se[f aka y(o)ur murdered may sti[[ be there.
Firyut: *i wouldnt do mine eit#er*
Firyut: *t#eres a constant t#ing of fog t#ats easy to get lost in*
Yttrim: Ours isn'- -he bes-.
Ridams: iitts lliike ttwo llands iin one
Ridams: acttually kiinda cooll butt where tthey meett iis awkward and a lliittttlle dangerous
Mistuo: And I can't stand my Land dve t-o- there being c-o-nstant c-o-vntry mvsic and v-o-lcan-o-es.
Mistuo: That jvst leaves Cavdit and Vlad.
Vlad: Oh, well, I don't see anything wRong with you visiting.
Vlad: These ConsoRts actually seem to have a mighty inteRest in-
Cavdit: /\/o\/\/ \/\/ait a /\/\i/\/ute there, \/a/\/\py.
Vlad: Vampy?
Cavdit: Let's all take a seco/\/d to thi/\/k about this.
Cavdit: Future Sayle/\/ \/\/a/\/ted /\/\istuo dead, right?
Mistuo: Yes.
Cavdit: So, \/\/here \/\/ould be the last place she looked to fi/\/ish the job?
Saylen: anywhere near y(o)u
Cavdit: Exactly!
Cavdit: /\/\istuo, co/\/\e to /\/\y pla/\/et.
Cavdit: Should look like a big sorta grey ball with four leaf clo\/er looki/\/g po/\/ds.
Cavdit: I'll load up this last seaso/\/ of A/\/\erica/\/ Horror Story.
Mistuo: Well, y-o-v have my attenti-o-n!
Mistuo: I'll fly -o-ver in a minvte.
At this moment, your Cousin pulls you away from the chat to talk in private.
Cuz: Are they gay?
Jazz: maybe?
Jazz: Trolls don't do the sexuality thing.
Cuz: Alright.
You lean back into the chat.
Jazz: ok, so, that's pretty much all I had.
Jazz: anything of note happen to y'all?
Mistuo: Well, I died.
Jazz: lovely.
Jazz: anything not depressing?
Cavdit: I /\/\ade so/\/\e kickass \/\/eapo/\/s!
Cavdit: Badass gau/\/tlets that ca/\/ /\/\ake huge holographic \/ersio/\/s of the/\/\sel\/es.
Cavdit: I o/\/e pu/\/ched a Giclops!
Jazz: awesome.
Jazz: we have a Saitama.
Yttrim: I ge- -ha- reference!
Ridams: shutt up
Yttrim: Sorry.
Ridams: oh we acttualllly diid sometthiing
Ridams: made a ffllyiing broomsttiick
Ridams: we were justt aboutt cruiise our lland
Ridams: tthatt iis iif yttttriim woulld pack some acttuall damn food iinsttead of notthiing butt candy
Yttrim: You know I have an abundance of swee- -ee-h!
Yttrim: And wha- do you mean if I do some-hing?
Yttrim: You're -rying -o make a freaking jacke- wi-h -ha- s-upid Grindark book you love so much.
Yttrim: -ha- your dyslexic ass can'- even read.
Ridams: ii can read iitt and tthe jackett wiillll be awesome!
Jazz: OK!
Jazz: anyone else?
Jazz: please?
Jazz: i don't want to be in the middle of a sibling argument.
Vlad: I found a city undeRgRound.
Vlad: Yeah, that's actually not all that inteResting.
Vlad: NeveR mind.
Jazz: well, that was helpful.
Jazz: ok, i guess meeting over.
Ridams: tthatt was a shiitt meettiing
Saylen: yes it was
Saylen: but it was an imp(o)rtant (o)ne
Ridams: wellll iiff were done
Ridams: ii have a jackett tto make
intimidatingPrimary [IP] has left the chat
Yttrim: I'd bes- go wi-h.
Yttrim: Farewell for now!
hospitableSecondary [HS] has left the chat
Jazz: suppose we should bounce too.
Saylen: yeah
Cuz: Yup.
BP: Probably.
Jazz: alright.
Jazz: you guys stay on your toes and don't trust anyone from the future.
Jazz: unless it's me apparently.
trainingInformant [TI] has left the chat
== Jazz: Figure out what to do
Jazz: ok, so…
Jazz: i believe i may have a quest to do, correct?
BP: Yep.
Cuz: Yes ma'am, I remember your stupid Pokemon Sprite said it was to get something at the center of the Land to stop making the Land acidic.
Cuz: Or something like that.
Jazz: uh, yeah, i think that was it.
Jazz: so… Princess?
BP: I am not allowed to interfere with the actions of the Players unless it is on Skaia, Derse or Prospit.
Jazz: darn.
Jazz: Say?
Saylen: d(o)nt [(o)(o)k at me
Saylen: i ditched my [and when i started trying t(o) ki[[ myse[f
Saylen: i d(o)n't quest pr(o)per[y d(o) i?
Cuz: As an avid player of Bethesda games, I can tell you you don't.
BP: Bethesda games?
Cuz: Video games.
Cuz: Basically, open world with a shit ton of quests and stuff.
BP: Interested.
Cuz: And hella fucking lot weapons and creatures to murder.
BP: Ok then.
BP: You, take me to your home, show me these games.
BP: You two-
She points to you and Saylen.
BP: Play this game and create a universe.
BP: Don't get killed by another version of you.
BP: Alright Cuz, let's roll out.
Cuz: She's a Princess, Jazz.
Cuz: Can't just say no.
Before you could properly say anything the two climb into the El Camino as start off towards your house. You just stare down the dust cloud threw up from the drive and groan, turning to the far taller Troll.
Jazz: so…
Saylen: s(o)...
Jazz: there's obviously some tension here.
Saylen: yeah
Jazz: wanna just say we're g(o)ing (o)ut f(o)r the time being?
Jazz: until we see what's going with us and all that shit?
Saylen: (o)h thank g(o)d y(o)u said it
Saylen: yes p[ease
Jazz: yay!
== Jazz: Hug the Troll
You jump and wrap your arms around the Plum-blood, accidentally knocking her down. Appears it was a tackle hug. There, we have officially hit everything from the actual story, no more references for a while.
A/N: Happy 4/13 everyone!