Chapter 3
Much to Kisuke's delight, Carrot-boy does start stopping by at least a couple times a week. The first time Kurosaki-san stopped by after Kisuke gave him free biscuits, Kisuke half expected him to bring out another ungodly list (even if it was just the following day). Yet, instead, he just blushed and grumbled something about puppy-eyes and stupid sisters before requesting more Cinnamon Buns. And Cinnamon Biscuits.
Kisuke had to hide a smirk.
The second time, Kisuke hadn't been quite as surprised, yet he would admit to having been… happy, if nothing else. Besides having an unusual coloring, Kurosaki Ichigo was also very refreshing, Kisuke had realized. He always stopped close to the time Kisuke usually closed the shop, and every one of these three times, he had taken the time to just talk, and Kisuke realized that maybe Yoruichi-san was right, after all. He needed more friends.
By the fifth time, Kisuke had started separating some Cinnamon Buns for Kurosaki-san. He did it every day, and usually ended up bringing them to Tessai-san (his kids loved them, too, so Kisuke didn't expect it to prove problematic any time soon), but some days Kurosaki-san would stop by, and Kisuke would deliver them to him, instead, and the face he'd pull was just…
So, Kisuke hadn't actually expect some half-hearted maybe-teasing, maybe-flirting to work out, but. Here Kurosaki Ichigo was, looking just as bright and colorful as ever, his ever-present scowl on his red face, and Kisuke realized he liked the boy. Huh.
(Kisuke also tried not to wonder too much on why he continued coming, but. Yoruichi-san always told him it was his greatest fault, but Kisuke just thought it prudent — even if his thought process many times ended with self-recrimination.)
Kisuke would really appreciate if Yoruichi-san could just come back as she'd been hinting at, because he realized he was way out of his comfort zone right now.
"So, my sister has been trying to convince me to cook for her, because 'her birthday is almost here' — which, bullshit, it's still a whole month away! —, and I'm trying to find a veritable excuse for me not to." Kurosaki-san sighed, leaned against the counter as usual.
Kisuke swallowed, eyes catching on the way Kurosaki-san's brown eyes flared in annoyance and fond resignation as he glared at nothing at all. "Well, could you say it would be counterproductive to give her your food for a gift? If you are a bad cook, it would be improper, after all."
Kurosaki-san scoffed a short laugh. "Nah. That wouldn't fly, unless I could manage to convince her that I somehow forgot how to cook in barely five years."
Smart, refreshing, and knows how to cook?
Where's Yoruichi-san when he needs her?
"Ah." Kisuke said simply, thinking about it. Unwittingly, his eyes were drawn to Kurosaki's fingers — as he'd said on their first meeting, anyone who spends enough time in a kitchen will sport some scars. But, no, he just said he hasn't cooked in five years…
But. He still had them. Cuts along the fingers, callouses at the base of his thumb, Kisuke could see as Kurosaki raised his hands to mess with his hair, a nervous tic Kisuke had noticed already.
Maybe Kurosaki-san's soulmate…?
Kisuke tried not to think about it.
(Tried not to think about scars on his own fingers, about the empty space inside his chest. About the longing and the wanting. About the way Kurosaki-san's smile made his breath catch just slightly, and the idea of Kisuke's soulmate still made his heart speed up. He tried not to think of any of that; and, when that failed, he thought of it all, and pushed everything away.)
"Well, Kurosaki-san," he said instead, voice carefully quiet so Kurosaki-san wouldn't be able to hear anything Kisuke was thinking about. "Perhaps you could just tell her you do not wish to cook any longer?"
Kurosaki-san shrugged, eyes averted, and lowered a hand to tap a nervous rhythm on the counter top. "I… don't like lying to Yuzu and Karin."
Kisuke let his head tilt slightly. "Well, then why don't you?"
Kurosaki-san looked up, a frown on his brow and fingers stopping for the moment. "What?"
Kisuke smiled. "If saying you do not wish to cook would be a lie," he explained. "Then, why don't you cook for them? If they'd like it, and you wouldn't hate it, either. It can be a one-day thing, like they requested of you."
Kurosaki-san blinked slowly — and Kisuke pressed his lips together not to grin at the owlish expression; Kurosaki somehow just managed to be so charming, it was ridiculous.
"Well…" Kurosaki-san mumbled slowly. "You… might be on to something… but… I don't know? I just. I never quite thought I'd cook again, not for someone, at least. I… well, I guess I'd hoped, but…" He cut himself short, and Kisuke refrained from frowning with much difficulty. After sighing, Kurosaki-san continued. "I used to cook for them all the time, I guess, but then Yuzu decided she liked cooking, and that cooking helped her cope, and I just. Let her."
Kisuke considered if it was worth it to push but — well, he didn't have much experience with it, but the experience he had was with Yoruichi, and… Well.
"Cope?" He asked as delicately as he could.
Kurosaki-san shrugged again, and Kisuke was readying something to change the subject — maybe ask about his plans for the girls' birthday? —, when he sighed and looked at Kisuke.
"It's… well. I mean, it's not really a secret, I guess," he mumbled. Somehow, Kisuke knew his scowl was much more to guard himself than to actually scare people, but it had never been as plain as right now. "Before… I used to take care of the girls, whenever our parents weren't home; Dad's a cop, and Mom was a nurse, and we were left alone many times, and I learned to cook early on, and they were okay with that. But then, Mom got sick, and… well. She didn't quite got through it, and after she died, Yuzu decided that I had too much to worry about, already, and she wanted to care for the house. I taught her to cook, and after that, she took over the kitchen, and. Well."
"Ah." Kisuke said, inelegantly, before grimacing at himself. "I apologize. I did not mean to press…"
Kurosaki-san shrugged again, but offered him a small, wry smile, this time. "You didn't. Like I said, it's not really a secret. I just… well." Then, he leaned even further forward, and grinned sharply. "I guess this means you're officially my friend, now, so you should give me a friend's discount, too."
Kisuke surprised himself with the bark of laugh that left his lips. He guessed that Kurosaki-san was still hurt, and that this was just his own method of coping, but still…
"Friends, huh?" He asked with a grin of his own. "Well, then. I guess this means I can borrow you to help out at the shop, too, when I need it!"
Kurosaki-san spluttered, laughing and coughing at the same time, hand rising to cover his mouth and shoulders shaking. "That's just unfair!" He complained, face still split on a grin and eyes dancing with mirth.
"Oh, but, Kurosaki-san! All of my friends have been required to help out at one point or another," he explained, smirking. "Besides, if you do, I will also be able to give you an employee's discount. So. Really, it's a perfect deal, don't you think?"
Kurosaki-san laughed harder, and Kisuke hid his own smile behind his hands.
Oh, damn; he really needed Yoruichi-san's advice.
When Kurosaki-san left (and Kisuke did give him a "friend's discount" he had to create at the spot, but it was totally worth it), Kisuke leaned against the counter himself and groaned in defeat.
He couldn't have a… a damn crush on Kurosaki Ichigo.
Yet, here he was, smiling like a buffoon just moments after the man himself had left, and all Kisuke could think about was Kurosaki Ichigo's smile and glinting eyes, and he just. He had made a promise to himself when he was young that he'd at least wait to meet his soulmate, but now…
Now, he found himself thinking he'd really love if his scars were mirrored on Ichigo-san's skin, and that he'd really love to sport matching tattoos with the med student.
.
For the first time in a couple weeks, Kisuke was the one to initiate contact between them, and Yoruichi-san didn't pretend not to notice it.
"Kisuke?" Her voice sounded curious and serious, and the lack of suffix made Kisuke even more aware of the oddity this was. "Are you okay?"
He thought about lying. Then, he thought of a ringing laughter, and fiery eyes, and his breath caught in his throat along with his lies.
"No," he admitted, lying back against his couch, eyes unfocused on the blank ceiling above him. "I need some advice."
Yoruichi-san hummed quietly in return. "If I can help you, you know I will."
"Yes." Kisuke smiled tiredly. "I'm just…"
When he derailed into silence, seeing nothing and everything at the same time, just listening to Yoruichi-san breathe over the phone, she respected his need to gather his thoughts, as she'd always done.
A minute later, he finally breathed out. "You've been talking about your soulmate."
Kisuke couldn't quite name the sound Yoruichi-san made in return, being something choked and silenced before it came to fruition, but Kisuke was quick to add: "Not that I mind. It's just… you've found your soulmate, and you're just… so happy with her, and…"
And I once loved you, but you deserved better, you deserved the world, and I… I always waited for someone who'd be mine, and no one else's. And now, now I'm…
"And I'm wondering if it's worth it. To wait."
Yoruichi-san sighed quietly, and her voice was soft when she replied. "I can't answer that for you, Kisuke-chan." She paused. "Does Soi-Fon make me happy? Yes, yes, of course. But so do you. So does Tessai. Am I happy for having met Soi-Fon? Of course. But if I hadn't, I'm not sure I'd keep waiting. Not forever. Not if I found someone that made me happy in a way that I'd never expected."
And isn't that the core of the problem. Kisuke frowned at the shadows in his ceiling, unwilling to try and unravel that particular question, but knowing he'd have to, at some point.
"Did you?"
He thought of fiery eyes once again, of confessions exchanged late in the evening, and of unguarded smiles and violent laughter, and had to admit that… "Maybe."
"Do you think it is worth it?" She asked without hesitation, like he'd expected her to.
Knowing she'd wait, he took his time to think seriously on the answer. Did he think Kurosaki Ichigo was worth it?
He looked down at his hands, at the scars running down his fingers, and callouses on his palms, and thought of hands that could mirror his. He thought of Kurosaki's hands, with charming scars and callouses, and thought of hands that could mirror his. He thought of someone, out there, with a badly scarred knee, and of someone who could one day share his mark, could one day make a tattoo blossom on his wrist. And he thought of Kurosaki Ichigo and his fire, and the fire he brought Kisuke. He thought of Kurosaki Ichigo, and how he had his own soulmate out there, and how Kisuke should at least let him meet them, before…
He breathed out. He closed his eyes.
"Yes." He admitted, voice but a whisper in the silence of a too quiet house.
The resounding hum coming through the speaker was expected, too.
"Then, maybe you shouldn't wait. Maybe, this person can be it. Maybe, your soulmate isn't meant to be more. Maybe, your soulmate will one day be your best friend, your sibling — it could even be a child you'll adopt, if it's meant to be. But is it worth it, waiting, when you have something special right in front of you?"
Kisuke laughed brokenly, and thought, I already chose to do so, once. Isn't it cruel, to choose differently, now?
But.
"Maybe you're right." He murmured, opening his eyes to the darkness again. "Thank you, Yoruichi-san."
"Always, Kisuke-chan."
.
It's on the fifth week since meeting Kurosaki Ichigo that the red-head first appeared earlier than Kisuke's closing time.
And with someone.
That was new.
Kisuke frowned, staring at familiar orange hair and laughing eyes and realizing he didn't like it. He didn't like seeing Ichigo-san… Kurosaki so happy with someone else. Especially with such an adorable girl, he noted dully.
And she was — her hair was soft, and her eyes were full of light, and her face was bright with a kind of happiness that made Kisuke's heart ache. She was beautiful. And Ichi-Kurosaki was a good match for her. She was bright and cheerful and everything Kurosaki deserved, and Kisuke…
Kisuke wondered if she was his soulmate. It'd fit.
"Hey, Urahara-san!" Kurosaki greeted with a grin, propping himself against the counter as was his habit. Luckily, despite being earlier than Kurosaki's usual hour, the Shoten was just as empty, so Kisuke had liberty to lean on the other side, offering the boy a smile.
"Kurosaki-san," he greeted warmly, eyes diverting back to the girl with his newest regular. "I see you've brought company."
He'd guessed his tone was mild, but something about it must have caught Kurosaki's notice anyway, because suddenly, Kurosaki was frowning, head tilted slightly in curiosity.
"Yeah. This is Yuzu; she's being bothering me to come, since I keep on bringing sweets home, so…" He explained with a shrug, and Kisuke had a second to grimace at the thought that they lived together.
Then, his brain caught up to him, and he realized this was Yuzu. Ichigo's Yuzu. Kurosaki Yuzu.
"Oh? I have heard much about you," he said, grinning at the girl who suddenly looked much better. If he squinted hard, Kisuke could even see the resemblance between siblings, actually… Yes. It was just a stupid moment of rushing ahead. He wanted to laugh at himself, but refrained for the sake of at least looking sane.
Still, he took much more care to analyze the girl, now he knew who she was. Kurosaki Yuzu-chan, huh? One of Kurosaki's younger sisters, and the one responsible for caring for the family, if Kisuke remembered it correctly. Also, the one responsible for pushing Kurosaki into cooking again.
She looked… perfectly harmless. Kisuke didn't know what he'd expected, but he realized this wasn't it.
"Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you," she answered with a polite bow and a cheerful smile. "Urahara Kisuke-san, yes? I am Kurosaki Yuzu. I wanted to thank you personally for all the sweets you have been sending us. Onii-chan said it was mostly things you chose, so, thank you, it's all very delicious."
Kisuke grinned; sweet, beautiful and polite. Kurosaki-chan certainly didn't sound much like her older brother. "Why, thank you," he shrugged, chuckling quietly. "It isn't too hard to remember what my costumers like, and after the list of your preferences, I only took reasonable guesses on what else should please you and your sister."
For some reason, Kurosaki blushed a furious tone of red, mumbling underneath his breath and scowling up at the empty ceiling while Kurosaki-chan laughed behind her hands.
"Yes, it was quite surprising," Kurosaki-chan agreed amusedly. "We gave Onii-chan a list of preferences, so he'd choose one among the possibilities, and he somehow came home with the whole content of the list."
Kisuke raised a hand to hide his spreading grin, even as Kurosaki spluttered and yelled in response, "How was I supposed to know I shouldn't?!"
The way she riled Kurosaki was just delightful. Kisuke swallowed down a laugh; Kurosaki-chan had no such qualms, laughing cheerfully at her brother's face, leaning forward to continue conspiratorially.
"I told Onii-chan I wanted a pie. Then, I gave him a list with three pies, two batches of cookies and five buns, and he somehow decided it was the very same thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved everything, but, really, even in two, that took us a week to finish off!"
By the side, Ichigo-san blushed harder, looking down sharply to avoid eye contact, and Kisuke felt his heart warming up painfully. He was so damn beautiful, so dear, and Kisuke… Kisuke just wanted to reach out and grab his hand, to feel his blush against his palms, and count the freckles on his face, and just…
He decided, right here and right now, he loved Kurosaki Yuzu. She didn't sound too much like her brother at first glance, but she was just as charming, just as mischievous without coming off as bratty. She was very respectful, actually (something he'd never describe Kurosaki as), but still very fiery, and Kisuke wondered if that was a trait shared by all of the Kurosakis.
"So…" she started off again, grinning and resting calmly on his counter. "Is there any chance you could offer me some tips on baking? I'd love to be able to bake more than a simple chocolate cake, when I have a mind for something sweet."
Kurosaki huffed out a laugh, and his eyes were warm with fondness as he looked up at Kurosaki-chan — and Kisuke wanted that, but he also loved seeing it, simply like that. The way Kurosaki opened up, warmed up, his frown blurring into something sweeter and fonder, the way he just looked so much younger… it all made Kisuke's heart lurch, and his hands itch, and a primal desire to claim burn within.
"If you knew how to bake, we'd all be diabetic, Yuzu," Kurosaki said teasingly. "You'd always be baking something, and then we'd be tired of sweets."
Kurosaki-chan rolled her eyes obviously in Kisuke's direction before turning around, a pointed grin on her lips. "Yet, you keep coming back to a bakery shop, and buying us sweets every other day. I fail to see your point, Onii-chan."
Kurosaki huffed again, still faintly red in the face, but grinned just as cheerfully back at her. "Well, I couldn't quite let you rot in abstinence, could I?"
Kurosaki-chan laughed. "Thanks, Onii-chan," she said just as teasingly. "Now, why don't you take this helpfulness and go buy Karin and I some pads, since you said you didn't want us to take too long here?"
Kurosaki scowled harder, crossing his arms in response. "Yuzu! Why me? Come on, you said last month you'd stop doing this…"
Was that a whine Kisuke could detect in his voice? That was so cute. He hid a grin very carefully under his hand, unfortunately aware of the awkwardness that was involved in buying pads and tampons (Yoruichi-san had never had any shyness in announcing to the whole world when she was on her period. Unfortunately, the fact they'd shared a flat for a couple years meant Kisuke was her favorite victim to buy her everything; from tampons to chocolate to 'cure her PMS').
"But, Onii-chan," Kurosaki-chan started sweetly, and Kisuke watched in amused curiosity as she made her lips tremble and eyes get bigger and rounder. "You just said you wouldn't let me suffer. And now you're backing away from your words? You're so mean, Onii-chan."
Just as Kurosaki once told him, he clearly faltered under the assault, arms falling to his sides and trying to avert his eyes from Kurosaki-chan's face.
"I mean…" he struggled to respond. "It's just… you said you had something to do later, so we should be quick… and if I go there and come back it'll take twice as long as if we just stop by a drugstore on our way home after this, and, anyway, I can deal with Urahara-san on my own, so you can go on ahead, if you need, I…"
"But, Onii-chan, this is the first time I've come to Urahara-san's shop. I want to see the options! I want to be able to choose my own sweets." She paused, looking down very sweetly before adding in a small voice. "Can't I?"
Kurosaki crumbled like a cookie.
Kisuke watched in amusement and a healthy dose of fear as Kurosaki sighed, reaching a hand up to ruffle Kurosaki-chan's hair before he stepped away. "I'll be back in a few!" He stopped by the door, and smiled at Kisuke, much to Kisuke's delight. "Sorry about not spending much time with you this time, Urahara-san; I know you get bored. I promise to stop again this week."
Then, with a slight wave, he races off, and Kisuke is left alone with Kurosaki Yuzu.
He doesn't know what to expect.
"So. Urahara Kisuke-san." Kurosaki-chan drawled quietly, turning back to stare him in the eyes, and he shivers slightly at the ferocity he can see in her eyes. Yes; she's certainly Ichigo-san's sister. "My brother likes your bakery, for some reason. And he's never liked to just visit somewhere for no reason at all. At most, game stations, when he was younger. He's certainly never been one for sweets, yet he's never even brought home something savory, that I've seen. Which means, he's coming to you for some other reason."
Kisuke swallowed harshly, even if his heart raced, and his hands clammed up. Yes, he'd known Ichigo-san had been stopping for something other than his sweets… but to have it called to his face…
(And to be forced to admit it. It was frightening. Kisuke had hoped, certainly, but…)
"I appreciate that you have been allowing him to stop by, even if he rarely buys much, but if you have any suspicious reasoning behind it, know that I am not afraid to sic Dad on you." She paused, and grinned sharply at him, eyes glinting with an edge of steel. "And I don't know if Onii-chan told you, but our father is a very overprotective cop."
He knew. Of course he knew. Not only had Ichigo-san mentioned in passing, when explaining his struggle about wanting but not wanting to cook again, but he'd once told Kisuke tales of all his family — the "brilliant and brilliantly scary" younger sisters, the "stupidly cheerful but ferocious" father, the "otherworldly sweet and lovely" mother. Clearly, Ichigo-san hadn't been lying about his sisters in a burst of pride, so Kisuke could only reason he hadn't been lying about the others, either.
Kurosaki-chan was still staring him down, eyes too sharp for such a young girl, and Kisuke swallowed reflexively again before forcing himself to relax.
"I admit I have realized Kurosaki-san… hasn't been entirely interested in my sweets, even if he's mentioned bringing them to you a couple times." He started as honestly as he could, motioning for the shop around them with a wave of hand. "At first, he was just… curious, I suppose. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he managed to startle me into burning myself in our first meeting," he chuckled mirthlessly at the thought. Of course, he'd managed to have one of his clumsiest episodes right in front of the most entertaining person he'd met in years. But, if that had been the reason for Ichigo-san to come back, he couldn't complain too much, he guessed. "But, well. I'd like to believe that, now… now he just comes back to… to see me. If for no other reason."
He swallowed again, and looked up into sharp eyes. With deliberate decision, he let her see his gratefulness and his fondness as he smiled, thinking of the tales exchanged in the quiet of the evening, of the laughs stolen and the touches that were too ephemeral to mean anything but that still left him reeling.
"I don't want to question it," he admitted. "But I am thankful for it. Thankful for his presence here. In these past few weeks… I've come to consider Kurosaki-san one of my greatest friends. And being able to see him…" makes him hope more than he'd ever hoped before "Makes me happy."
He didn't need to tell her he considered him one of his few friends. If she didn't know about it, it was not his fault, really.
She nodded curtly, decidedly, before smiling sharply at him, eyes knowing and too wise, and Kisuke was afraid and respected her much more now, after seeing a girl who wasn't afraid of standing up against strangers to protect her brother. To protect Ichigo-san.
"I'm glad, then," she said simply. "Onii-chan always needs someone to stand by him, and I get the feeling you won't let him down. Not if you can help it." Then, her smile turns into a grin, and she adds. "And if you can't, don't worry, I'll be right here to punish you for it. After all, I am willing to learn more about baking, and Onii-chan mentioned you don't have anyone else to help you with the shop right now, and I'd love to help you out."
Kisuke laughed, startled by the way she steamrolled her way into his decisions just like that — just like her brother, steamrolling his way into his life and heart and being so goddamn smug about it —, but also… well.
Also somewhat touched by it.
It was the first time he'd ever got a shovel talk.
It was much better than people ever made it seem.
"Of course, Kurosaki-chan," he answered, offering her a hand. "I could always have someone to care for the shop while I bake, and if you get here early enough — or if you don't have any problem staying later —, I can teach you about baking before opening the shop, or after closing it."
Ichigo-san stepped through the door, making the bell jingle, just as Kurosaki Yuzu shook his hand, fierce and bright and unshakable, "Thank you for taking me in, Urahara-san. I promise to learn as best as I can, and will do my best to be the best cashier you've ever had."
Kisuke grinned wryly, thinking about how Tessai-san would have words with him later, and shook his head — and looked up to see Ichigo-san frowning at him, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips even as Kurosaki-chan continued: "Also, please, call me Yuzu. I fear you'll have your hands full with us Kurosakis, from now on."
… Well, he thought with a breathless chuckle, he really hoped she was right.