"It's just weird that it's weird, you know?" Rin said, biting the tempura shrimp from his udon bowl in half and talking while he chewed. "I mean, it's pretty much universal business to business that not having any damages is a good thing."
"Yes, but when has an exorcism ever caused zero damages?"
Rin shook his head. "Never. Not in my experience. That's why it stood out to me in the first place."
Daphne sat back against the restaurant booth and crossed her arms. She hadn't touched her food, but she needed to eat. Rin had long ago learned the warning signs of a tired, hungry Daphne, but he had also learned that suggesting she have a snack or take a nap resulted in his getting snapped at, so he made a big show of his udon bowl to subconsciously inspire her. So far it wasn't working.
"We need to look through every file," she said. "We have to find all of the reports that list no damages."
"You think they're all related?"
"No, but I'm certain some of them are." She propped her elbows on the table and put her face in her hands and sighed. "I want to go home."
Rin sat up. "We'll be there Thursday," he said, trying to sound encouraging.
Daphne let her hands fall from her face and looked out over the restaurant instead of at him. Her eyes looked watery, maybe with tears. Rin leaned across the table and took her hand.
"I'm sorry the weekend didn't go as planned," he said.
She glanced at him. "Me too."
Back at the hotel, the staff had upgraded them to a suite as an apology for losing the reservation. Daphne grumbled something under her breath about the statistical likelihood of Mephisto's having not even booked anything in the first place, but Rin was the only one who heard her. The room was pretty damn nice, with a great view of the city through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Daphne ditched her backpack and went straight onto the balcony. Propping his broken suitcase up next to the door, Rin did the same.
A breeze had picked up off the water, and it still smelled salty even though they were a good distance away. The air was warm. Daphne stood and stared blankly at all the city lights.
"Daph?"
"…Hm?"
"What's on your mind?"
She drew in a meditative breath. "My life…" she said. "It's such a whirlwind. Some days I'm okay with that. Some days I'm not."
Rin nodded. He could guess what kind of day today was.
"Sometimes, I just—I wonder how much of this I chose for myself. And how much of it was chosen for me. By circumstance or consequence." She leaned against the balcony railing, slowly rubbing her hands together. After a second, she looked at Rin and a sad smile crossed her mouth. "You might be the only good choice I've ever made."
Stepping close, Rin wrapped his arms around her from behind and she straightened so he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"Does this ever feel like a mistake to you?" she asked.
"Being married?"
Daphne nodded.
Rin was quiet for a moment. "Sometimes, yeah," he said. "If I'm honest. But not very often. And I can say without a doubt my life would be a living hell without you."
His mind flicked back to an image of Daphne he couldn't seem to get rid of: the one of her lying in the mud in the Academy courtyard, blood coming out of her ears, covered in so many bruises. He'd thought a lot about what he would have done if she had died that night. He never made it very far. The idea scared him too much.
"Do you ever think it was a mistake?" he asked.
Daphne smiled. "I like to lie to myself and say that I wouldn't have demons in my life if things were different, if I hadn't married you, but… I know that I'm wrong." She looked back at him. "And when I think of facing them alone, I can't fathom it."
Rin held her tighter. "That's how you know, I guess."
"Mm."
They were quiet after that. Rin cast the same blank gaze over the city that Daphne did, each of them absently touching kisses to the other's face or neck or hands. Eventually they made their way inside, to bed, and as Rin held Daphne in his arms he thought for a moment that maybe he felt that presence as it had been that first time, but the sensation was brief, and his attention turned to other things.