"Are we lost?"

Penelope took her eyes off the road to look at FP. "Of course not. Why do you ask?"

FP stayed on alert, hands ready to grab the steering wheel need be. Penelope wasn't known for being a particularly safe driver. How many close calls had he seen in the student parking lot with her narrowly missing curb or freshman? "Because we've driven down every street in this neighborhood." He pointed straight ahead so Penelope would stop looking at him. "I'm starting to think you don't even know where this party."

"Well, I don't know where the party is yet," she said calmly. "I said I could get you guys into the party, not that I knew where it was."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Forsythe!" she snapped. "I will not tolerate you using that language with me."

"I - Penelope," he grunted. "You didn't want to go on this mission in the first place. You were only going because you were our ticket into this party. I thought you had some Greendale connections?"

"I do, in a manner of speaking." She turned another corner - hardly slowing down for the stop sign planted there - and a small smile played on her lips. "Here we are. I knew I'd find it." She stopped in the middle of the road and pointed. "A party."

FP peered ahead. Sure enough, a large group of people seemed to be congregating on a front lawn. The door was open and people were filing in and out, red plastic cups in hand. He turned back to Penelope in awe.

"So you don't have a friend in Greendale who lets you in on when they're having parties? You just - what? Drive around and hope you'll get lucky?"

"I do not go to these parties to 'get lucky!' Excuse you." FP raised an eyebrow as Penelope realized her mistake. "I mean, it isn't really a matter when they're having a party." A car honked behind them and Penelope put the car back in to drive, searching for a parking spot. "It's high school. Someone is always throwing a party. People are predictable."

An annoyed noise built at the back of FP's throat, but he kept it in. "And how will Hermione know where to go?

"She's at the payphone outside the school, waiting for us to call with an address." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and evaluated him. "You didn't read the agenda."

FP rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't read the fu- the stinking agenda. And maybe I should have because this plan is full of holes. How do we even know the football team will be here?"

"Huge game next weekend, so they're free this weekend. Just like us." She pulled over as close as she could to the side so the car behind them could go around. They honked again as they passed and FP flipped them off. "We're their arch rivals and they've beat us the last two years. They are full of themselves. They'll want to get all riled up. I wouldn't be surprised if they have a bulldog pinata step up in the backyard just to spite us." Her eyes darted to the house and her voice dropped. "They have a weird thing with pinatas. I think they think they work like voodoo dolls. This is a very strange town."

FP let out an unexpected laugh. Penelope wasn't one to make jokes. "Stranger than Riverdale?"

"Strange in a different way." Penelope started backing up into a parking spot and winced as she hit the curb. "Plus, their team captain is an absolute moron, party animal." She sighed. "One of those very attractive, very popular young men," she hit the curb again, "who has no aspirations beyond the next week." Her eyes darted to him. "No offence."

"None taken." He rolled his eyes. "I have aspirations, thanks."

"I didn't mean - I'm sure you do. But I assure you the only thing this boy has on his mind tonight is bashing Bulldogs and perhaps," she clicked her teeth in distaste. "Nevermind."

"Sounds like you know him."

"I have made his acquaintance, but I'm quite sure he doesn't even remember my," she hit the curb for a third time, "shit!" Her hands let go of the wheel and covered her mouth.

"Language, Penelope." FP peered out the window. "You want me to get out and direct you?"

Penelope's eyes popped out of their sockets. "No! People will see!"

"So what? We don't even know these people."

She rapped her nails against the steering wheel. "I already have a reputation for being a bad driver at Riverdale High. I will not let that follow me here."

"But -"

"And I will not let us make a spectacle of ourselves! The point is to not draw attention."

"Fine. Just get out and I'll park."

"This is my car. No one else is allowed to drive my car. My parents would be furious."

"Your parents don't need to know."

"But I'll know!" She sighed. "I can do this, I swear." She backed up slowly into the spot once again, tapping the curb and just missing the bumper of the car behind her by a fraction of an inch. The job wasn't perfect, but it would do.

FP examined Penelope's handy work over his shoulder as they walked towards the house. "On the bright side, you're at such an angle, pulling out will be a cinch. We won't even need that get away van."

"I'll still need a way to get home." A few people on the lawn waved at Penelope and she quickly waved back. FP joined her. "I'd rather not come back for it later like Hermione suggested." She took off at a trot and FP had to jog to keep up with her. "We need to find a phone."

"Hey, do you know those people?"

"What people?" She spun back around and poked his chest. "Kitchen, right? Most people have a phone in the kitchen?"

"Well sure, but -"

"Long time no see, Cherry!" someone shouted as they pushed through the crowded foyer. Penelope shrugged and smiled, giving another quick wave. She blindly reached back and grabbed FP"s hand, pulling him with her.

"Cherry, huh?"

"Don't you dare!" she hissed back at him, her short nails pressing into his palm. "Look, it's better than giving out my real name at these things."

"So no one knows your real name here?" He looked around the almost empty kitchen and pointed at the phone next to the panty. Penelope started dialing and FP pressed the button down before she could finish. "I think you owe me an explanation."

The dial tone rang from the receiver as she shot him a look that would make even Alice's blood run cold. "I do not owe you a thing. I said I would get you into this party and look. We walked right in, no questions asked. That's because you were with me."

"This isn't exactly my first time in Greendale, sweetheart." Penelope's eyes narrowed at the endearment. "Fine. This isn't my first time in Greendale, Cherry. I saw you at a party once before and we were both nice enough to respectfully ignore each other." He let go of the button on on the phone. "So what gives?"

Penelope sized him up as she twisted the phone cord around her finger. "Some people know my name, but it's not something I hand out willy-nilly. I prefer to be the mysterious River Vixen who shows up unannounced and answers to no one. If some only know me as Cherry from Riverdale, then, well, I am okay with that."

FP crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "But why?"

She sighed. "Because of exactly that, Forsythe. Why. No one asks me why I do anything here. I can just do whatever I want, be whoever I want to be." She looks wistfully over her shoulder at the crowd in the living room clearing out space for spin the bottle. "I can do what I want here and face no repercussions. No one gossiping about me on Monday morning or bringing it up to embarrass me later on. When I'm here," she looked back at him, "I'm no one, but at the same time, that makes me someone. Someone I would never be at Riverdale High. Does - does that make any sense?"

FP nodded curtly, his heart pounding in his chest. "Yeah, sure. Just uh, call Hermione, okay?"

She dialed the number of the payphone and got an answer right away.

"Hermione? We're at 117 Scotch Street in Greendale. You have a map of Rockland County, right?"

"Of course I don't have a map! Mary," Hermione's voice faded, "did you bring a map?"

"Mary's there with you?" Penelope's heart sank. The plan hadn't been to bring another person to the party with her. FP perked up at the name. "Well listen. When you get to the main road, just make a left at -"

"I don't know the main road!"

She clicked her teeth. "Don't you know Greendale? You've been here enough!"

"No, I don't just know Greendale like that! What main road?"

Penelope sighed. "I told you to add getting a map to -" FP reached past her and clicked the button on the phone, ending the call. "What did you do that for?"

FP shrugged. "She was being a pain in the ass."

"You couldn't even hear her!"

"She's always a pain in the ass. I doubt she's being any different tonight."

Penelope started dialing the number again and he took the phone from her hand. "Nope. We're not doing this." He put the phone down and took her by the arm, pulling her back towards the party. "So she roped Mary into this too, huh?"

She pursed her lips. "Sounds like it."

"Mary never can say no to her." FP shook his head. "Shit, I guess none of us can. We're both here, aren't we?"

"She is very pretty." Penelope covered her mouth. "Persuasive I mean. She is very persuasive. Geez. I must be contact intoxicated already."

"Hermione's not pretty." FP let go of her arm when they got to the end of the keg line. "She's smoking hot and she knows it. Girls like her can do whatever they want, no worries."

"You're right," Penelope sighed. The got to the front of the line and each took a plastic cup of beer. "You can have this." She turned up her nose at it. "I need to drive later."

"Live a little." He gulped half the cup. "If Mary is coming, she'll drive your car home. Plus, I get the feeling you're going to need a little liquid courage if you have to flirt with the team captain."

She frowned into her cup. "Well, here goes nothing, Forsythe." FP clicked his plastic cup against hers. Penelope pinched her nose and chugged.

"Forsythe." FP stretched out each syllable as he said his name. "Why do you always call me that?"

Penelope swayed, slightly lightheaded from drinking too quickly. She held out the cup to FP with a huff. "Forsythe is your name. What on earth should I call you?"

"You could call me FP like everyone else." He refilled their plastic cups and handed hers back.

"Oh please." She started walking through the crowd again, her eyes rolling up to the ceiling. "You can't just go by your initials. You are no Jason Dean." She examined him over the rim of her cup. "Jason Dean is -

"Christian Slater in Heathers." He rolled his eyes, mimicking her. "I've seen Heathers, Penelope. I love Heathers." Penelope pursed her lips and FP smiled into his cup. "It might even be my fav-"

"Don't you dare!" Penelope spun around fast enough that some beer almost sloshed out of her cup. She waved a finger at him. "Heathers is my favorite movie! No way you understand the subtle nuances of it, or the -"

"Relax, relax. You need to loosen up a bit." Penelope spun away from him but FP caught her shoulder. He nodded to the next room. "You up for a little game?"

"And the Riverdale couple wins again!"

A mix of cheers and boos came from the crowd surrounding the beer pong table. Penelope had picked up the game surprisingly fast after FP told her the more she drank, the better she'd be at it. She still pulled a terrible face with every sip of beer, but she was being a good sport about it.

FP let out a bellowing laugh at Penelope's shoulder. "Oh, we're not a -"

"A couple!" Penelope finished. She looked around the crowd quickly and spotted George, the football team's captain, glaring at them. She snaked her arms around FP's body and pulled him into an embrace. "Of course we're not a couple. We are the couple! No Baxter High Ravens can beat us at anything."

Half the crowd around them laughed and the rest booed. FP leaned down to her ear.

"What happened to keeping a low profile?" he whispered, pulling her away a few feet so the next two teams could play.

"Just play along," she hissed at him. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, earning a few coos from the girls in the crowd. She jutted her chin up at the mantle over the fireplace. The weather was still too warm to put it to use, but there were two lit candles and right between them -

"Is that their playbook?"

"Umhmm." She gripped his arm. "A shine to it, it looks like. I told you they were strange. And do you see the guy over there? The big one, doesn't look like he does much in the way of critical thinking?" FP nodded. "That's George Garrison, the team captain. How's he look?"

"Well, he's kind of big and brawny. Not really my -"

"His face, Forsythe!" She grabbed FP by the collar of his shirt so he'd look down at her. "Is he looking at us?"

His eyes traveled to him and back down to Penelope when she gave him another tug. "Yup. Looking dead at us. Glaring might be a better word actually."

Penelope's cheeks rounded as she broke into a cheerful grin. "Good." She spun her head around quickly and looked at him before turning it back. "How's he look now?"

"Now he looks pissed."

"Perfect." She tugged him down so she could whisper in his ear. "Now laugh as if I said something very funny."

FP let out a bellowing laugh, silencing many of the people around him. Penelope stepped on his foot.

"Too much!"

"Sorry!" he whispered back. "The idea of you being funny really is a laugh."

"Come on." She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him through the crowd, towards the next room. "Give him a look over your shoulder as we walk away, okay?"

"Yeah sure." He casually looked over his shoulder, just to see George following their trail. "Oh shit, hurry up. He's following us." He picked up his pace, passing in front of Penelope and tugging her along. "I think if we head back to -"

Penelope pulled back his hand with more strength than he thought the small girl had in her. Before he could respond, she put her free arm around his neck and pulled him down, crashing their lips together.

FP paused for a moment, unsure of what was happening and what was the likeliness of Penelope slapping him in the next few seconds. A quick flush of guilt came over him before he finally shrugged it off, pulled her in by the hips, and kissed her back.

"Hey!" FP could feel someone standing right behind him, but he didn't break away from Penelope. "Hey!" the voice rose over the music. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Penelope finally broke the kiss and looked boredly to the boy beside them, her arms still linked around FP's neck. "My apologies. Did you ask a question?"

The football captain - George, Penelope had said - stood at about the same height as FP, but had at least sixty pounds on him. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked them up and down.

"What are you doing here, Vixen? Cherry? Or whatever name it is you're going by today."

Penelope pouted her lips. "Do I know you?"

"Cut the games, Penelope." He lowered his voice as he said her name.

"You have a problem?" FP asked him, tightening his grip on Penelope. George took another step towards them and FP moved his body in front of her.

"What was she saying about me, huh?" He glared at her over FP's shoulder. "She's a little liar, that one. Loves making up stories. We have a word for girls like her in Greendale." His voice rose as he spoke, gaining attention from the rest of the people in the room. "She's nothing but a little -"

"Hey!" FP took a step away from Penelope and poked the guy in the chest. "You better think carefully about the next word that comes out of your mouth."

George sized FP up before puffing out his chest. "Nothing but a little witch."

"Not what I thought you were going to say." FP slide his arms out of his varsity jacket and held it out blindly behind him until someone took it. "But I don't care much for that word either."

With one swift motion, he gave George a shove that knocked him back a few feet. George let out a small chuckle before charging back at FP. FP ducked out of the way and knocked the other boy on his back. The crowd around them quickly formed a circle and started chanting, "Fight, fight, fight!" but no one seemed to make a move to pull the two boys off each other. FP managed to flip George around and sat on top of him, pinning the boys wrists to the floor.

"Get the fuck off me!" he shouted, squirming under FP. FP just smiled at him.

"How about I get off after you apologize to Penelope?"

"Eat shit." A few people in the crowd chuckled, but still no one made any attempt to come to George's aid. "Get off, Bulldog!"

"I don't know, pal." FP looked at the circle surrounding them, his body overcome with that eerie Greendale feeling Penelope was talking about before earlier. He shook it off. "You seem to be the one trying to get off. That a snake in your pocket or you just happy to see me?"

George's entire face flushed red. "You fucking -"

"I know I'm a good looking guy and all, but you're a little too burly for my -"

Whether it was the crack about his sexuaity or the implication that he wasn't someone's type, FP wasn't sure. All he knew was a split second later, George broke free of his grasp and punched him square in the jaw, knocking him backwards.

"Fight, fight, fight!" the crowd began again. FP scrambled backwards on his butt, as far from George as he could get. He just reached someone's feet when a girl's voice called out, "Fire!"

Gasps rang out throughout the room. FP covered his head as dozens of pairs of feet ran past him. He waited until the sounds died out until he finally uncovered his face. The room was empty, even Penelope gone. FP dusted off his jeans as he got up and walked back to where they had been playing beer pong. The playbook had tipped over on the mantle, the corner catching on a candle and making the whole book catch on fire. Someone grabbed the fire poker and knocked it to the floor while two girls tossed a quilt from the couch on it to snuff the flames.

Something touched his shoulder. He jumped and spun around with his arms in front of him, still in defence mode from his scuffle with George. Penelope smacked his hands down with a smile on her face. She had a six-pack cardboard holder of wine coolers tucked under one of her arms.

"We need to get to the car, stat." She shoved the six pack in his arms and grabbed him by the elbow, leading him behind the crowd in the next room.

"Penelope, what the hell -"

"I grabbed us some refreshments while we wait at the car for Hermione. Strawberry. We're both too intoxicated to drive and I'll need a distraction if I have to wait around with you."

"Did you -" He turned to look at the mess going on in the living room, but she tugged his arm hard as they went out the front door.

"I didn't set the book on fire, if that's what you're asking -"

"But who -"

"We will talk at the car! It's not safe here."

"Well can I at least have my jacket?" He looked up at the full moon gleaming right above them on the cloudless night. "It's getting a little chilly."

Penelope stopped abruptly half way down the front lawn and he crashed into her back. "Why would I have your jacket?" She looked him up and down. "When did you take it off?"

FP shook his head. "I took it off right before I fought that guy."

"You fought who?" Her eyes widened. "George?"

"Yeah, I -" He rubbed his temple with his free hand. "Penelope, you were right there! He called you a witch and I handed you my jacket and -"

"I snuck away as soon as you started talking to him. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why," her voice dropped, "would you fight him for calling me a witch?"

"Well you know he wanted to say bitch, but I would have knocked him flat out for that." Penelope's face softened at his words. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head slowly. "You didn't need to do that for me. I can handle a few cruel words. I've been called worse."

"Okay, but you shouldn't need to take that. I'm not letting some skeezeball shit talk one of my friends." Penelope raised an eyebrow. "Well, maybe not friends exactly, but trust me, I'm not letting anyone get talked about that way in front of me. Fuck that guy."

Penelope crossed her arms over her chest. "We, well - George and I went out a few times." She broke her gaze with him and stared up at the moon. "And one night we were going to, you know." She pressed her lips together, the pink rising in her cheeks. "But he couldn't - he couldn't perform." She finally looked back at him. "And then he made me feel bad about it. Like it was somehow my fault. I had actually heard a similar story from another River Vixen who was acquainted with him, so I kindly suggested that perhaps he just isn't attracted to girls. No shame in that, of course. However, he took it very poorly and told me not to show my face around Greendale ever again."

FP snorted. "Well that would explain the boner when I got on top of him."

Penelope gasped. "The what?"

"He -"

"Hey!" A dark haired girl ran down the front steps after them, waving a blue and yellow jacket. "I think you forgot this!"

"Oh, thanks." FP handed the six pack back to Penelope and took his jacket from the girl. "I must have left it inside."

"Well, no." She tossed her long hair over her shoulder as FP took the jacket back from her and put it outside. "Your girlfriend already left and you were just holding it out for someone to grab, so I took it."

"Yeah, thanks. Uhh." He held out his hand. "FP Jones."

The girl eyed his hand with a smirk on her face, but still shook it. "Yeah, I know, Mr Big Man on Campus. I go to Riverdale High too."

FP continued to shake her hand. "And your name is?"

"None of your business." She pulled her hand away. "It's rude to flirt when your girlfriend is right there. I mean, hell. You already mounted that dude inside, Jones."

"I am not his girlfriend!" Penelope said sharply. "That - that was all an act."

"All an act," FP repeated. "She is totally not my girlfriend. I am a free man."

"I don't know." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I see you with that scrawny guy at school all the time. 90210 with the long hair."

"That's - that's Fred."

"Ummhmm." The girl bit her lip and motioned him closer. "Come here." She pulled an eyeliner out of the pocket of her torn jeans and wrote her number on his hand. "Give me a call if you want to." She took a few backwards steps to the house.

"But what's your name?" he called out. The girl shrugged.

"I guess you're need to call me and find out!" She gave them a little wave as she closed the front door of the house behind her. FP turned to Penelope with a goofy grin. She shook her head.

"You know, Penelope," FP started walking down the road to the car with her by his side, "this would be a perfect night if we'd just gotten that damn playbook. I mean, I know it's destroyed and all, but if we just got our -"

Penelope held up the six pack in front of him and for the first time, FP noticed there were only five bottles in there. The sixth holder was a set of rolled up papers.

"Hey!" He grabbed Penelope in a hug and lifted her up off her feet, giving her the slightest little spin. "You said you didn't start the fire!"

"Put me down!" She smacked his arm, but smiled. "I didn't. I ripped the papers out and when I was putting the binder back on the mantle, it tipped over and, well, it was for the better because I guess it stopped your fight at least."

"Maybe it's just the booze talking, but we make a decent team." FP grabbed two of the bottles from Penelope and opened them. "To one really strange partnership."

Penelope offered up a lopsided smile and took the bottle. "I will drink to that, FP."