"Hal." Alice wiggled her hips to get her boyfriend's attention. "Hal! We're here!" He finally loosen his death grip around her as she smacked his hands on her waist. "Come on. We've done this so many times before. How can you still be scared?"

"Not scared." Hal made no move to get up or let go of her. "Riding on the back of your bike is exhilarating. It's a trill. My heart is going to burst out of my chest, I love it so much."

His eyes were still shut tight as she turned her head to look at him. He let out a shaky breath and finally opened up, one eye at a time.

"You'll get used to it one day, I promise."

Hal let go of her hips and slid off the bike. "No, no. I am used to it. It's just like, it's like riding a roller coaster. It doesn't matter how many times I do it, it's the rush that gets me."

"You're only getting a rush because you're scared." Alice tossed her legs off the bike and wiped the dust from Hal's shoulders. "Once you learn to ride yourself it's way more fun. I promise you, the wind in your face," she pat his cheek, "feels way better when you're not hiding in my hair."

"Once I learn to -" Hal shook his head. "I'd rather not put my mom in an early grave, thanks. If I don't kill myself wiping out, she'll murder me for sure."

"She'll murder you before or after you put her in an early grave?"

"You think she wouldn't come back from the dead to kill me for riding a motorcycle?"

Alice took him by the collar and looked him in the eyes. "What Mama Coop doesn't know won't kill her."

Hal's eyes darted between the bike and Alice. "Look, she'd already be mad enough if she ever found out I've been on your bike in the first place. If she ever saw me actually driving it?" He whistled. "I'd be dead."

Alice grabbed his hand and pulled him across the parking lot where the school van was parked by its lonesome. Her bike stood on the far side of the lot, as close to the gate as possible. "So I guess she's really going to hate the leather jacket I was going to get you for your birthday, huh?"

"Alice!" Hal's eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

"Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't." She ran her hand up his arm. "I'm just saying that it gets awfully cold when you're riding and this windbreaker may not cut it. Leather is more than just a fashion statement. It's useful. Relax." She held up a finger to silence him. "I'll get it in brown. It'll look nothing like a Serpent jacket. Your mom won't kill you."

Hal looked down at his clothes. "You said you liked this windbreaker. You called it snazzy."

"I have never said the word snazzy in my life." She finally let go of his hand as they approached the van. "I said it suited you. It's - well, trust me." She rubbed his arm. "You're going to look good in leather."

"You look good in leather." Hal took her by the waist and moved her until she was leaning against the side of the van. "So what are we going to do with this thing?" He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just go for a joyride? Because I'm wondering if they track the mileage."

"Relax." Alice wrapped her arms around his neck until he drew in closer. "I have a few ideas up my sleeve." She pulled him down for a kiss and broke away almost immediately, a giggle escaping her. "You got a gun in your pocket or you just happy to see me?"

"Slim jim," he muttered, leaning back in. Alice threw her head back and laughed.

"Of course you brought snacks with you."

A blush rose up Hal's cheeks. "Not that kind of slim jim." He took a step away and reached into his jacket. "Slim jim. It's a tool to unlock cars."

Alice continued her laugh. "I was wondering how you got all hot and bothered so quick."

The blush deepened on Hal's face as he made his way to the driver side door. "I'm not all hot and bothered," he muttered. "You're the one who's hot and bothered. Insinuating things." He shook his head but Alice could see the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. He slid the tool into where the window retracted and moved it slowly.

"Can I try?" She leaned in towards what he was doing. Hal shook his head.

"Next time. It's school property. I have to be careful not to damage anything."

"Next time?" Alice bit her lip and leaned against the van again. "Have I tainted you? Given you a thrill of the bad life already? Ruined you for good?"

"All of the above." Hal gently moved the tool again until he heard a click. "Well go ahead. Try it."

Alice pulled the handle and the door popped open. She clapped her hands together. "You did it!"

"Unlocking it was the easy part." He climbed inside and pulled a pair of pliers out of the pocket of his jacket. "You want to keep look out? I don't think it'll take long." He pulled his windbreaker off and tossed it in the backseat.

"You don't think?"

Hal pulled at a piece of plastic to the right of the steering wheel until it came off. "It - it won't take long."

She stood on her tiptoes and tried to get a look at what he was doing. He clicked on the overhead light and started fiddling with something.

"Hey," she licked her lips, "shouldn't you be in the engine? Isn't that where everything happens?"

Hal shook his head. "Everything I need is right near the ignition. It's just about the wires, not the engine." He looked over his shoulder and smirked. "That's why they call it hot wiring, you know."

"Smartass." She rolled her eyes and moved to the side of the van, peering through the empty parking lot at nothing. She could almost swear she heard voices in the distance. "I said I wanted to see you bent over an engine," she muttered. "Not with your head under a steering wheel. You could have warned me."

"Warned you?"

Alice was grateful he couldn't see the heat rising up her cheeks. "I was excited to see you working on an engine." She shoved her leather jacket off her shoulders. "It just sounds hot."

The wind blew lightly, just enough to keep the night cool. Hal cursed a few times softly from inside before she finally heard the sound of the engine revving. She skipped back to the front as Hal climbed out, a smile on his face.

"I did it!" he just made it outside before she crashed her lips against his. He took her by the waist and spun her half way around before putting her back down, planting one more quick kiss on her. Her jacket slid further down her arms. "I can't believe it worked."

"Why?" she laughed. "You said you've done this before."

"No." Hal's eyes traveled up to the darkening sky. "I said I knew how to do it." He kept his hands on her hips, as if she were about to run off. "Like in theory. I never said I've actually done it before."

Alice let go of her grip around his neck. She gave him a quick smack on the chest before laughing and planting another kiss on him. "I can't believe you. Why didn't you just say that?"

Hal shrugged, finally looking her in the eyes again. "I wanted to impress you, I guess."

"Dumb dumb." She wrapped her arms back around him and kissed him again, this time pulling him towards the van. "I'm already your girlfriend. You don't need to impress me anymore."

"Yeah I do."

Alice shook her head quickly. "You don't. I love you. You've already impressed me plenty." She leaned in for another kiss as Hal pulled back.

"What?"

"What?" Alice asked back. Her heart sped up in her chest. She'd hoped to just sneak it in, hoped he wouldn't -

"Did you just say -" He trailed off.

"What?"

"You love me?"

She pursed her lips and tried to take a step back, but Hal kept his grip on her, pulling her close. "What?"

"Did you just," his eyes widened hopefully, "just say you love me?"

She shook her head curtly. "What?"

"So you did?"

"I didn't say anything!" Alice squatted as his hands but he moved her so she was leaning up against the van. "Hal, let go of me!"

A goofy grin ran over his face. "But you love me."

"I do not!" She squirmed under his grip and he slowly slid his hands around her. She held in her giggle as his hands tickled her and tried to keep her frown on. "In fact, I think I might hate you right -"

He leaned in her ear and teased, "You love me," softly into it. She jutted her bare shoulders up to knock him away, but he just moved his head to her other side, his warm breath against her neck making her give in and finally laugh. "You love me," he drew out each word as he pressed a kiss against her neck.

Alice swallowed, letting herself melt into him. "Yeah, okay," she admit. "I do."

"You do what?" Hal asked against her neck.

She took his shoulders and held him a few inches away. "You're really going to make me say it again? When you haven't even?"

Hal shrugged, a lopsided grin on his face. "How can I say it back if you said you didn't say it?"

Alice let out a sigh and bit her lip, the corners of her mouth twitching up. "I love you, Hal."

He kissed her so fast, the back of her head hit the van. They both laughed as he broke away. "I love you too, Alice." He placed his hands behind her head to cushion her. "You know, Smith, I've always known this bad girl routine was an act." He kissed her cheek. "You're as soft as they come."

"Yeah, Coop?" She poked his chest. "And sometimes I think your nice guy routine is all an act." She clicked her teeth. "Hot wiring vans and teasing your girlfriend until she professes her love to you? You're a regular jerk."

"Regular jerk. That's me alright." Hal pulled Alice away from the van and turned her to face it, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "So now that we got this baby going, what do we do?"

"Back seat works for me." She tugged the front of his t-shirt and pulled him towards the other door.

"No, no, no." Hal stopped. "We need to get the van out of here, remember? That was the plan. Out of Riverdale if we can. At least for a few hours."

"Right, right." Alice looked to the full moon in the sky. "Well, we can find somewhere." She took a step towards the driver's door and Hal pulled her back. "What gives?"

"I'm driving, not you."

Alice put her hands on her hips, blocking the door with her body. "Hal, I am not letting you drive a stolen van!"

"And I'm not letting you drive a stolen van! You'll get in trouble."

"No one is getting in trouble because no one is getting caught!"

"I'd just feel better if -"

"I will feel better if I drive." She shook her hair back over her shoulder. "I've already made you do one illegal thing tonight, no need for another. And," she waved her finger at him as he opened his mouth, "I know you're bigger, but I'm stronger. Never forget that." She jutted her head. "Now get on the passenger side and not another word about it. We have a few hours to kill and I think I know the perfect place."

"You were right," Hal whispered. "This is a perfect place." The two laid half dressed in the very back of the school van, Alice's head resting on Hal's chest and his jacket thrown over their bottoms. Her leather jacket was folded neatly behind Hal's head. "How'd you know to come here?"

She let out a small yawn and closed her eyes. "Every town has a place where teenagers go to fuck and Greendale is no exception. I know you don't think Miller's Point is an anomaly."

"Go to fuck," Hal repeated. He ran a hand through Alice's curls. "Whatever happened to making love, huh?"

"Making love." Alice tilted her chin up to look at her. "God, you're so corny, Coop."

Hal tangled his fingers in her hair. "Yeah, but you love me." Alice smiled lazily up at him before closing her eyes again. "It makes sense I guess."

"That I love you?" she asked through another yawn.

"No, that the Greendale kids would use Blossom Maple Farms as a make out spot."

Alice snorted. "You mean a love making spot?"

"It's right on the border between Riverdale and Greendale, so I'm sure if a Riverdale cop ever catches them, they just hussle them right back to the other side of the river. And the Blossom's aren't very popular in Greendale. When they closed down their last factory after it was polluting the -"

"No, no, no." Alice sat up straight, windbreaker falling down to her lap. "You talking about some Blossom-Cooper feud is not my idea of pillow talk."

"I'm not talking about any feud!" Hal insisted, sitting up as well. "I'm just saying Greendale residents must -"

She placed her finger on his lips until he stopped talking. "These are things I don't want to talk about right after sex." She ticked each with her fingers. "Blossoms. Maple syrup. School. Something dumb Fred or Hiram did at school. Your family. Ch-"

Hal peered out the window. "Hermione?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "I was going to say cheerleaders, but sure. No Her-"

Something thumped on the window behind Alice's head. "Christ! Hermione?" Alice reached and opened the back door as Hal scrambled to pull his pants on. "Mary?" Both girls jumped into the back of the van and climbed pass them. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"We'll explain on the road." Hermione dumped a pile of clothes on the floor. "God, how did I just know it was you two who stole the van?"

Mary sat in the driver's seat and started rifling through her purse. "I told you, you should have just asked Hal for help instead of me." She examined the handy work under the ignition. "Nice work by the way. Good thing I got the keys though."

"Step on it, Mary. We don't have all night." Hermione shook her head as Alice and Hal hastily dressed in the back. "I have nothing to offer up Hal like this one does." Hermione clicked her teeth. "He'd never do it for me."

"You're damn right he wouldn't." Alice zipped up her jeans and leaned to the front. "Now what the hell is going on? Why were you guys hanging out at Blossom Maple Farms? How'd you even get here?"

Hal pulled his shirt over his head and picked up an article of clothing from the pile with distaste. He held the shirt out in front of him. "And where did you get these clothes from?"

Mary licked her lips as she sped past the Blossom Maple Farms sign. "Lets just say we were offered up a private tour and we had to leave early."

"The clothes were our souvenirs." Hermione snatched the shirt from Hal's hands, rolled down the window, and tossed it out.

"Did you mug some guy at the maple farm and steal his undies?" Alice handed Hermione a pair of slacks and watched her toss them as well.

"We left him his underwear." Mary got to the end of the long road and took the left to Greendale.

Hermione flashed her teeth at them. "He had it coming."

"Mary," Hal leaned towards the front seat. "You're going the wrong way. Riverdale is back -"

"I know where I'm going," she snapped. "You guys foiled our plans so at the very least you owe us a ride to this damn Greendale party."

Hermione's face lit up. "We're still going?"

"You want this stupid playbook, I will help you get this stupid playbook."

Hermione let out a squeal and squeezed Mary's arm. "Isn't she the best?"

"Helping you commit a crime." Alice rolled her eyes. "The very best."

"And tell me," Hermione turned around entirely in her seat, "is that not exactly what you did to Hal? You dragged him in to this!"

"Alice didn't drag me into anything!" He handed Hermione the rest of the clothes and she tossed them out the window with all her might. "I wanted to do this."

"Wanted to be a bad guy?" Hermione shook her head. "Shame on you, Hal Cooper. What would your mother say?"

"Bad guy?" Hal turned to his girlfriend with worry in his eyes. "Am I really the -"

Alice pat his cheek before he finished. "Don't listen to her," she said in a voice low enough for just the two of them. "We're the heroes of our own story at least." Hal sighed and she leaned in close to him, wrapping both her arms around his body. "And just remember. Hermione allowed your Oreos to get eaten. She's the real bad guy here."