THE ORIGINAL NOVEL WAS WRITTEN IN SPANISH, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TRANSLATION. IF YOU WANT TO READ IT IN SPANISH LOOK FOR IT UNDER THE SAME PSEUDONYM AND BY NAME "EL SECRETO"
In case you're wondering if Christian is in the novel, is there, just won´t expected.
After dinner we headed towards the fair. Kate and Elliot walked in front of me holding hands and I just looked at their intertwined hands. I was envious of Kate. I wanted to go hand in hand with someone, too. I wanted that someone to be Ryan, but he wasn't interested in any of that.
—How did you two meet? —Ryan got me out of my dream. I had completely forgotten that he was coming to my side. —You and Kate, how do you met.
—In college, we shared a room. —I replied mechanically.
I didn't have the head to be thinking about anything. I had to forget about Ryan, but no matter how hard I tried, I'd weigh back on him. I wanted to know him but I didn't know if he'd be upset about it. I think this was a good opportunity to find out more about him. If I don't try, I don't fail. Well, here's the question.
—Aren't you a little young to be in your current position? —I asked him as he looked at me intrigued and smiled.
—If you want to know my age, I'm 31. —he answered with a smile.
—Why don't you sleep with the same woman twice? — that's it, I said it.
The question has been on my mind since he told me. He changed his face and stopped smiling.
—I don't like to repeat myself. —he answered seriously.
—Why not?
—Because I like to have a different experience every time. —he replied as he looked at me briefly.
—How many women have you slept with then? —I asked him in awe as he laughed.
—I don't think I keeping score.
—I guess you've broken hundreds of hearts, then. —I asked him, raising an eyebrow.
—I guess. You can't blame me for that. I always warn them. It's not my fault they agree to it even though they have feelings for me. —he said staring at me.
He was right about that. It wasn't his fault. And I could not be just another one of the many who had ended up heartbroken because of him.
—How many have been refused you? —I was curious to know.
I imagined that someone would have to say no to him at some point. Not all women are the same.
—Just one. —he replied by staring at me. —And I'm beginning to wonder why.
Just one. He meant me, or someone before me.
—Ryu! —Elliot called him. —Come on, let's practice our shooting. —he said as we were arriving at an attraction.
The attraction was to shoot a target with a gun and if you hit him in the middle you would get a prize depending on the amount of target you hit. The difficulty was in the distance the targets were in, how they moved and how they only gave you five shots. They both stood there, each with a gun in their hand and started shooting while Kate and I just watched.
Elliot seemed pretty good, he'd already hit two targets. But Ryan couldn't hit a single one.
— You're not very good at this shooting thing. —I said as he looked at me with a mocking smile.
—No, this is not my thing. — he said as he fired the last shot looking at me and hitting it.
—You hit without looking!
—It was just a coincidence. —he said as he put the gun on the table.
Elliot had hit three and won a prize. A doll Kate herself picked out.
—Let's go to the Ferris wheel. Kate said as she pulled Elliot's hand and we followed them.
—We're chaperones here. —Ryan told me make me laughing. —We could be somewhere else, with less clothes on. —he whispered in my ear as I stopped and stopped smiling.
—I'm sorry, but I don't date anyone who works with me. —Ryan raised an eyebrow in surprise at what I had just said.
—And you can't make an exception. —he said as he smiled broadly at me.
—If you're not interested in a relationship, the answer is no. —I said as I smiled slightly at him and continued walking.
Ryan caught up with me and walked beside me to the Ferris wheel. I think this was a good time to tell him about my vacation.
—Mr. Ch... —I started by telling him, but he looked at me seriously. ... —Ryan, I forgot to tell you I'm going on vacation next week. —I told him very nervously because I wouldn't know how he would react to my unexpected vacation. He was quiet for a moment before answering.
—All right.
—You don't have to worry about anything, the person who will stay for me is very efficient.
He didn't say anything, he just nodded as we continued walking.
By the time we got to the Ferris wheel, Elliot and Kate had beaten us to it, so we had to go separate from them. There weren't a lot of people so we got in a booth by ourselves. I haven't been up there in a while. The view of the city from here was spectacular.
—You love coming up here, don't you? —Ryan asked me as I turned briefly to him.
—Yeah, I love the view from up here. —I replied as I turned my eyes to the front.
I didn't remember exactly the last time I was here, but I remembered that Grace brought me a lot as a child. And we'd sit around for hours and hours, going round and round.
I looked away from the landscape of Chicago and looked at Ryan sitting next to me. He looked carefree as he looked into the distance. The messy hair made him look younger than he said. He turned his face and caught me looking at him.
—Why don't you want to sleep with me?
—I told you, I'm not interested in only a passion night, and I'm also with someone. —I lied as he stared at me and I looked away from him.
—Oh yeah, I seem to remember you saying you didn't have a boyfriend. —Shit, and now what I'm telling him... think Ana, think, I know.
—And I don't have it, it's someone I met recently, we're getting to know each other. —yeah, that would be enough to keep him away.
—And you think it'll keep me away. —he said as he sat closer to me. —I don't really care if you have a boyfriend or not, I told you, I just want to sleep with you. —he said as he put his hand on my cheek.
And I closed my eyes, feeling his hand sliding down my face. I didn't understand why I let him do this. My brain kept telling me to stop it, but my body only reacted to the warm touch of his hand sliding slowly across my face and to the heat emanating from his body now closer to mine. His fingers slid across my lips, causing my body to betray me, letting out a groan.
And then I felt the warmth of his lips against mine.
Tempting.
Thirsty for mine.
And it triggered a reaction all over my body. My hands went up to his neck to bring him closer while his hands slipped under my blouse and pressed against him at the waist. His taste was unique, delicious, exciting, and my tongue explored his mouth as he did the same in mine and another choppy groan escaped me.
Then an alarm signal went off in my brain and I pushed Ryan away as hard as I could, separating our lips.
—I'm sorry, but I can't do this.
—There is nothing to excuse Anastasia, I want you as much as you want me, there is nothing wrong with doing this that we both so much desire. —he said tempting me as he pressed me against him one more time and tried to kiss me again.
This time I walked away from him and sat in the front seat.
—You're wrong. I don't want it, I just got carried away for a moment. It was a mistake, and it won't happen again. —At that moment we would stop turning around and they would open the door for us to leave.
I quickly left there as a soul carried by the devil trying to get away from him as soon as possible. I found Kate standing a few yards away and grabbed her arm as she quickly walked away from Elliot.
—I need to go, tell Elliot to take you. — I told her as I released her and continued walking without stopping on my way out.
I didn't even want to look back because I knew that if I did I would see Ryan. I got to the parking lot and got in the car quickly. I had to get out of there urgently before I committed a madness I knew I would regret. Because Ryan was right.
I wanted it.
After arriving at the apartment I went straight to the bathroom. I needed to get the trace of his hands off my body and the taste of his kiss off my lips. I turned on the shower with the hot water and got all the way underneath it.
The hot water fall in over my body. And as much as I tried, it was impossible to erase the trace of his kiss or caress. Every time I slipped my hands over my body I remembered his, and every time I touched my lips I remembered his, devouring mine. And the hot water just reminded me of his warm body against mine. I turned off the shower and left the bathroom on my way to my room. I urgently needed to find something to occupy my time to try to erase all memories of Ryan's kiss and touch.
Christian!
I know it wasn't fair to forget Ryan with him, but he didn't have to know. I looked for the laptop and checked the e-mail. I had an e-mail from Christian answering the last one I had sent him this afternoon.
From: Christian
To: Anastasia Steele
Date: Saturday, 24/10/2015 12:32 AM, CET
Subject: Hallowen.
Yeah. We agreed to meet when I got back to Chicago. How about we do it at that masked ball you love so much. I only have one problem, I don't have an invitation and I don't know if I can get it in time because I'll be back the same Saturday at noon. We'll agree on something this week. Enjoy your out with your friend.
Christian.
We'd finally meet in person. I smiled inwardly and decided to answer him even though I knew he would be asleep by now. By the way, what time it was. When I looked at the clock it was after eleven o'clock. It must have been almost daylight in France. I gave him an answer to his e-mail.
From: Anastasia Steele
To: Christian
Date: Friday, 23/10/2015 11:22 PM
Subject: Hallowen's proposal.
I love the idea, don't worry about the invitation I have two, I'll leave you one at the hotel reception, just say my name and they'll give it to you. I look forward to meeting you in person. There's so much I'd like to know about you. Why don't you send me a picture of yourself so I can see how you look and recognize you at the masquerade ball.
Ana.
I waited a while and he wouldn't answer, so I turned off the computer and went to bed.
But I couldn't sleep. I still felt the warmth of Ryan's lips over mine, as if he continued kissing me. His kiss had broken all my expectations.
I didn't remember that could be excited by a kiss like that.
I slipped my fingers on my lips and felt a warmth begin to grow inside me accumulating in my belly. I looked at the second drawer on the nightstand. But I put those thoughts out of my mind, I wasn't going to succumb to my desires. I wasn't gonna use my dildo thinking it was Ryan.
But I couldn't get the feeling of his hands on my skin and his warm body attached to mine out of my mind.
Fuck it!
What difference does it make?
I opened the drawer and took it out of there. —At least I can fall in love with you, with you I can have a relationship and I won't suffer because you leave me. —I said as I took off my panties and opened my legs.
I turned it on and closed my eyes imagining that it was Ryan between my legs and not my purple dildo that I had just named Chastingless.
Tomorrow would be another day. My new target. Forget Ryan. And I'd have a week to make it. With that idea in mind, I fell asleep.