Chapter 6: Telling the truth is never simple or easy. Why, only the best of us ever really try.

Karen knows something's up with Matt and Foggy. Which is kind of a given when you're talking about Matt, really. But Foggy is usually more reasonable about these things.

She's always known that it was only a matter of time before everything blew up in Matt's face. The Nelsons are kind and warm, but they're also fiercely protective of each other. Whether Matt, or even Foggy, wants to admit or not, Foggy has been hurt by Matt's actions, and his family wasn't going to simply turn a blind eye.

That's not to say they aren't willing to forgive, of course. It's clear by their interactions that they deeply care about Matt and are truly happy to have him back in their midst.

Karen suddenly wonders how it would feel like to have a family as protective of her, as the Nelsons are of Foggy. Would they be angry with Matt in her behalf? Would they pull him aside and threaten him with bodily harm if he doesn't straighten up?

She sighs, waving such unhelpful thoughts away. Karen and Matt have their own stuff to deal with, but right now she has to focus on helping her two best friends get back on the same page.

Things had been going well, Karen thinks, letting her gaze wander out of the car window.

They are crossing the bridge that runs over Old Tampa Bay. There are some clouds in the sky, but they look soft and cotton-like, so she doesn't think they have to worry about rain anytime soon.

In the months following Matt's return, the three of them had begun to work together again. At first, they really set up their base in a unused backroom at Nelson's Meats. It was strange, being constantly in each other's company again. Like it or not, after the dismantling of Nelson & Murdock, even Karen and Foggy had grown apart. Still, slowly but surely they got used to working as a team performing mundane, daily tasks – and not only taking down major crime bosses.

The dynamic was different, how could it not be? With both Karen and Foggy aware of what Matt was really capable of, he didn't have to waste time pretending, and he also could more easily and openly share information he gathered without having to come up with elaborate explanations for the source of his facts.

Moreover, both Karen and Matt made a point to try and be more forthcoming with their plans and intentions. If Karen planned to start an investigation about the possibly-crime-involved step-son of a client, she'd tell Matt or Foggy about it. Not to ask permission, or anything of the kind, but to make sure another person knew what she was getting involved with, in case things went south. If Matt planned to – afterhours – hit up a drug deal or trafficking of illegal firearms, he'd mention it at work. Sometimes he even remembered to text them to say he'd made it back home safely.

Also, Foggy was trying to be more understanding of his friends' predisposition to put themselves in less-than-ideally-safe situations. He was learning to be less judgemental and to trust that they knew their limits, and knew when to take a step back and ask for help. (Matt was a work in progress on that one.)

There were misunderstandings, there were arguments. Sometimes they would disagree about what 'necessary risk' meant in a particular case, or one of them – usually Matt, but Karen had her moments too – would be reticent in disclosing certain details of their afterhours activities, for fear of being stopped – sometimes, rightly so.

But still, they are getting better. Their friendship isn't the same as it once was, but it is growing in ways that weren't possible before. New sorts of understandings had to be found between them, and these understandings are sometimes difficult to grasp when looking from the outside. Hence all the strain with the Nelsons.

Karen expected awkward moments when she agreed to come to Florida with them, what she didn't expect was whatever had went down with Matt. It was more than just having a hard time dealing with his friend's family, Karen can tell. And if Foggy's slightly panicked, definitely anxious behavior is any indication, so can he. She only wishes they'd just outright say it already, but that might be the journalist in her speaking, who always believes the story must be told. In the real world, in real relationships, sometimes there were things too difficult to say.

"Can we play another round of I hear with my little ear?" Colin's question breaks Karen out of her reverie.

"Maybe on the trip back home, Col," Edward hurries to reply. "Right now Uncle Theo has to concentrate on finding the right exit to take us to the Gardens."

Karen had been amused to witness Colin's creativity when it came to inventing ways to keep himself entertained in a hour-long journey in a car with four adults.

Before leaving the Swann Estates, they had divided themselves in two cars. Candace's rental was taking her, Anna, Foggy and the two girls, while the family car carried the rest of the group.

Theo had insisted on driving. He made it sound like he liked the opportunity to seat behind a wheel, seeing as in New York it was completely impractical to use a car, but Karen thought the young man had other motivations, most likely related to Edward's growing tremors.

Despite Karen's protests, Edward had given her the passenger seat, and sat on the back with Colin and Matt.

On the first few minutes of the journey, they tried to play the classical 'I spy with my little eye', but Colin found it inadmissible that Matt couldn't take part, so he had made up a new game, in which they were supposed to listen for sounds and try to have the others guess what it was.

That had been fun. Karen rarely stopped to think how much vision took of her attention. It was challenging and enlightening to try and concentrate on what another sense could pick up.

Still, after about ten rounds, of which Matt had actually won just two, much to Karen's surprise – maybe there were so many sounds he could pick up that it was difficult to identify what was in range for people with normal hearing? –, the game became kind of boring.

Colin huffs, frustrated, but doesn't argue.

After they've finishing crossing the bridge, the boy perks up again. "I have an idea! Let's play riddles!"

Karen hears more than one person sighing, and wonders if in the other car Foggy is also bending over backwards to entertain his nieces. Probably.

"Alright, I can start," Karen says after a beat of silence, taking pity on Colin. She wracks her brains, trying to remember a riddle. "Okay, I got one. I get smaller every time I take a bath. What I am?"

Colin laughs. "This one is too easy! You're a soap!"

Karen chuckles at his giddiness. "That's right."

"Knew it," the boy comments, smug. "Now it's your turn, Uncle Theo."

"Err..." He mumbles, scratching the back of his neck. He shoots Karen a sideways, embarrassed look. "Somehow, I can only think about dirty jokes," he mutters in her direction, causing her to snort.

"What was that?" Edward demands.

"Nothing!" Theo quickly replies.

"I have one," Matt helpfully interjects, and Karen can hear the smirk in his lips. Of course he heard Theo's comment. "Which word contains all 26 letters but only three syllables?"

Colin frowns at that. "Not fair," he protests. "You all know many more words than I do."

"I'm sure you know this word," Matt reassures him, smiling.

The boy thinks for about a minute, before giving up with a frustrated huff.

"I think we should let the journalist answer this one," Theo says, raising his eyebrows playfully at Karen.

She rolls her eyes, but obediently plays along. "Is it…the alphabet?"

"Nice one, Page," Matt praises with a nod.

"Okay, now it's your turn, Grandpa," Colin orders, looking up at Edward.

The old man purses his lips in concentration. "Aha! This one is fun," he finally says, grinning at his grandson. "What has one head, one foot, and four legs?"

"One foot and four legs?" Colin demands, bewildered. "Really?"

"Yep," Edward confirms.

"It's trick, guys," Matt interjects, as if he was addressing them all, and not discreetly tipping Col in the right direction. "We have to remember that sometimes we say that certain objects have legs too."

Colin's eyes widen as he has an insight. "I know it! I know it!"

"Gosh, you're fast!" Theo comments, sounding impressed. "I haven't gotten past the 'one head' part."

The boy giggles, pleased with himself. "It's not that difficult," he pompously says. "The answer is a bed."

"Oh! That makes sense," his uncle admits.

"I think now it's you, right, Col?" Karen prompts. "Did you think of a good riddle for us?"

"Hmm..." The boy cocks his head, scratching his chin. "Yeah, I think so! It was grandma who told me this one. I didn't get it right the first time."

"Uh. It must be hard, then," Edward comments.

"Alright, shoot!" Theo urges. "Now, I'm curious."

Colin smiles mischievously at them all. "If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I?" He recites, clearly having memorized the words.

Karen tries to think of a possible answer, but everything she comes up with sounds rather silly, or doesn't quite fit the riddle. Glancing around, it seems like she's not the only one.

"I got to hand it to Ann," Edward says. "That woman's got brains. I have no idea."

"I'm honestly out of ideas, too," Matt concedes.

Colin's grin widens when Karen and Theo admit defeat too. "You give up?" He asks, sounding elated that he managed to tell a riddle no one figured out. At their nods, he almost jumps in his seat. "It's a secret!"

Theo frowns. "So, you're not going to tell us?"

"No, Uncle Theo!" Colin contradicts impatiently. "The answer is 'secret'."

"Ahhh," the young man says in realization, and again Karen can't tell if he's messing around with them or if he's being serious.

Edward nods proudly at his grandson. "Very smart, Col," he compliments, before pausing for a moment. Karen doesn't think she imagines the way his eyes flicker towards Matt. "I only have one reservation regarding your riddle," he continues. "You know, sometimes people don't really want to share their secrets."

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the car changes. If it once had been relaxed and fun, now there is an unspoken tension that was not there before.

Colin just looks at grandfather, seeming confused. Besides him, Matt shifts in his seat, turning his head away, appearing uncomfortable. Again, Karen wonders what kind of cues he's picking up from the people around him.

"Yeah," Edward goes on. "It's true. Sometimes, people feel like they can't share things about themselves with their friends and family, because they're afraid they'll be mocked of misunderstood. Other times, people feel like they have to lie and hide to protect those close to them."

"And they're wrong?" Colin guesses, guilelessly.

On the back, Matt's form is still tense, but he has his head tilted to the side, listening carefully.

It's Theo who answers. "Not necessarily," he says, and though he's outwardly relaxed, Karen can tell by the way he's gripping the wheel tightly that he's invested in this conversation. "Maybe there are things we can't really talk about. Maybe there are secrets that are not meant to be shared," he shrugs in a 'what do I know' gesture. "I think the only person who can decide if a secret can be told or not, is the person to whom that secret belongs. I mean, as long as it's not hurting anyone, it's none of other people's business."

Edward nods. "Indeed," he agrees, voice amicable. "The problem arises," he pronounces every word careful and deliberately, and if Karen ever had any doubt that there was a deeper meaning to this conversation, she doesn't anymore, "when these things left untold begin to have a detrimental effect on the lives of the people involved. When one lie leads to another and another. And without meaning too, these lies end up pushing the people they were meant to protect into even more danger. Instead of sparing, they hurt."

Karen definitely isn't imagining the abrupt flinch that passes through Matt's expression.

"Anyways. Everyone makes mistakes," Theo says at last. "We're all human after all. So it's no use to keep stuck in the past. The important thing is to try and do better in the future. Yeah?"

Glancing back, Karen catches Matt lowering his head minutely, as if nodding to himself.

Completely lost, Colin hesitantly assents. "If you say so..." Then he frowns, as if he has just been reminded of something. "But I'm not going to be the one to explain all of this to grandma."

"Do you think they got the kids to plot against me too, or that was just coincidence?" Matt suddenly asks her, about two hours later.

They're walking side by side in the Botanical Gardens. The evening still isn't pitch-black, but it's dark enough that the effect of the glowing lights covering trees as far as the eyes can see is quite otherworldly. They have their arms intertwined, and though Matt still holding his cane, he's not actively using it, prefering to allow Karen to guide them.

She doesn't need to ask what he's talking about.

"Honestly, I think it was just a coincidence," Karen replies, moving out of the way to avoid colliding with a running child. The Gardens are buzzing with activity.

"Thank goodness," Matt comments.

"However," she interrupts, biting her lip, "I do believe they were just waiting for an opening to breach the subject with you."

Matt sighs, but doesn't look particularly surprised by her response. "Yeah, I figured."

They walk for a few minutes in silence. A few steps ahead of them, the Nelsons stroll happily through the colorfully lit passageways. The kids point at their favorite shapes in the bushes and the adults talk merrily. Foggy and Candace seem to have worked out whatever strain had been between them during the car trip, and now are joking and teasing each other normally.

Karen takes a deep breath, steeling herself.

"I know what you're going to ask," Matt cuts her off, before she even has opened her mouth to speak. Your breathing changes when you're about to say something, he had told her, so many months ago. "I know you mean well. But I can't– I can't do this here. Now."

She nods, silently.

His shoulders sag in relief. "Thanks, Karen."

"Can I ask you something else, though?" She says, trying to smooth the grim look on his face. "Does any of this do anything for you at all?"

Matt frowns. "What do you mean?"

Karen gestures around at the LED lights everywhere. "All these light bulbs buzzing with electricity. How do they look like to you?" And yeah, she's trying to distract him, sure. But she's also truly curious.

Matt pauses for a bit, trying to find words. He smiles a little as he does so, like she has posed an interesting question and he's enjoying the challenge of trying to figure out how to answer.

In moments like these, Karen really appreciates just how much Matt really kept to himself. It's not only the big things that he can't generally talk about with people – like being able fight or being able to hear heartbeats. It's the small things too. It's the things he can smell that no one else can, the sounds he can hear that people don't even know are there, the things he tastes that the English language doesn't have a name for.

Matt's constantly living in a world on fire, but he can never talk about how it burns.

Karen decides that she'll make a point of asking him more often about this kind of thing.

"It's...warm," he begins, a thoughtful expression on his face. "People say that LEDs don't give off heat, but that's not true. It's just that they're designed so that heat dissipates more efficiently. So it's like–like a constant flow of warmth building up and fading away. You mentioned electricity buzzing, and yeah, I can hear that. But that's not the only thing I hear. There are insects crawling over the bushes and on the ground and small rodents hiding up in the trees. The scents of the city are still present, but they've been muffled down somewhat by the smell of bark and leaves, and when the wind blows in the right direction, I can taste earth mixed with the sea and soot."

Karen chuckles, gazing wondering at her friend. "That must feel...weird," she comments, imagining swallowing a mouthful of soot.

"It's quite wonderful actually," Matt replies, and his attention seems to be far away. "I can smell your perfume and the shampoo you used and the strawberry ice cream your had for dessert and your skin. I love the way it all gets tangled up with Foggy's smells – his aftershave, his hand soap, the beer he drank his afternoon – because of how it means we're spending a lot of time in each other's company. I love how the Nelsons' heartbeats are familiar and easy to listen to, and how I could pinpoint each of their locations, even if they all were in completely different sides of the gardens.

"That–that does sound wonderful," she admits, grinning at him. "And–and all about all the people around us, all the children shouting and screaming? Doesn't that, like, bother you?"

Matt purses his lips, considering her question. "Not really. I'm used to filtering out distracting smells and noises. Living in New York, it's impossible not to learn how to deal with it. And...And everyone here is happy, relaxed. People aren't screaming out in pain or anger. The adrenalin I taste isn't due to people feeling threatened, it's just– it's kids feeling excited by the things they're discovering, it's a couple finally kissing for the first time, it's– it's one friend telling the other things he thought he'd never be able to share."

Karen only realizes she's crying because the path in front of suddenly becomes blurry.

"Hey," Foggy says. She hadn't even noticed him falling back in step with them. "Did Matt make you cry? Should I kick his ass for you?" He asks, but she can tell he's only teasing.

Karen laughs, wiping the tears away. "No, no," she reassures him. "He–uh. He just told me something beautiful," she reveals, causing Matt to flush between them.

Foggy whistles, intertwining his arm with Matt's on the blind man's other side. "Damn, Murdock. Now I kind of wish you'd whisper sweet-nothings to me too," he nudges suggestively.

Matt and Karen laugh openly at that. He opens his mouth to reply when Karen's phone start buzzing.

"I guess now it's your chance," she comments, raising her eyebrows meaningfully at the pair of them, before answering her phone. "Hello?" Karen distractedly says into the handset.

"Hey," a gruff, familiar voice replies on the other end. "Is this a bad time?"

Karen freezes where she stands. Besides her, Foggy eyes her curiously and Matt frowns.

For a moment, she can't find her words.

"Karen?" Frank Castle asks. And if she wasn't so stunned, she would have smiled at the nervousness in his voice. "Shit. Just. Forget it–"

"No, no, no," she quickly interjects. "Don't you dare hang up on me, Frank."

Karen hears cursing, and turns to Foggy, who's looking at her like she's grown two heads.

"Please tell me you don't mean Frank-freaking-Castle," he implores. "Please tell me the Punisher doesn't have your number on speed-dial. Fuck. Wasn't he, like, dead?"

"Let's give Karen a moment," Matt interrupts, letting go of Karen and pulling Foggy away with him.

"But–" Foggy tries to argue.

"She knows what she's doing, Fog," he replies, and his voice isn't exactly sharp, but it does have an edge to it. "Let's go wait for her on that bench over there, alright?"

Gratefully, Karen nods at him. Matt smiles in return. He's tense, and it's clear he isn't precisely comfortable with the idea of she and Castle being on speaking terms, but the fact that he trusts her to deal with it as she sees fit warms her heart.

"Was that Red I just heard?" Frank asks and Karen jumps a little, having momentarily forgotten he was on the line.

"Uh–Yes," she answers. "We're–we're spending the holidays at Foggy's parents'."

"Fancy," the ex-marine comments. "And the choirboy is enjoying being back from the dead, or what?"

That surprises a laugh out of Karen. It's strange – and kind of disconcerting – to think that Frank's known about Matt for even longer than she has.

"Yeah. Hum. In the beginning he enjoyed it as much as you did, you know. With the murderous need for vengeance and the slight suicidal tendencies. But he's–uh. Getting there," she says.

"That bad, uh?" Frank retorts, smirk clear in his voice.

Karen chuckles, and decides to steer the conversation away from Matt, who's undoubtedly listening in. "It's. Uh. It's been a while since you called."

Frank audibly clicks his tongue. "Yeah, sorry. I was dealing with some shit."

"Everything sorted out?" She asks, not holding out much hope. It's Frank, after all.

He hums noncommittally. "Anyways, just wanted to call to see how you're doing and– Uh. To wish you happy holidays," he mumbles hurriedly, like he's embarrassed at being caught saying such soft words.

A wide smile forms on Karen's lips. "That's–that's really thoughtful of you, Frank. Thank you."

"Nah, don't mention it," he returns. And she can almost see the accompanying half-shrug. "Anyhow, I got to go now–"

From the other side of the line, Karen can hear laughter and a child speaking. She can't make out any words, but an idea suddenly springs forth in her mind.

"Frank Castle," she begins, and she can't help the warm, teasing tone in her voice, "are you spending Christmas Eve at the Liebermans'?"

The way Frank sputters to answer is just as rewarding as the way Matt's eyebrows rise almost to his hairline in shock, from his place by Foggy's side, a few yards away.