I spend my free period the next day thinking of how to approach Rey.
Should I let her do the talking?
I doubt that will work since she usually stares me down in class if I make the slightest attempt to approach her. She's unlike the other students so no strategy I employ on them will be of use.
Perhaps I ought to treat her like any adult. Afterall, she thinks on a level past her peers.
She must. You can't produce work so profound, so heartbreaking without living through several decades. Or so I thought until she came around. Rey.
Still, I expect she doesn't talk to the other students because she has nothing in common with them and feels they are too immature as I did when I was younger. Still do. Maybe she will enjoy being treated differently. I count on that for when I go outside to meet her.
True to form she is waiting for me in her spot and there is not a soul in sight.
I take light but long steps towards Rey. Despite that, she's quick to pick up on my presence and snaps her book shut. Then she gives me that mistrusting stare.
Clever girl.
I stop a comfortable distance away. I don't want to loom over her.
"Good evening, Rey."
"Mr. Ren." She sounds like any other student for once.
But I can see through it.
It's all in her eyes. The contempt, the lack of trust. Her gaunt face tight and cautious, ready for anything.
I wonder how often she eats. How ever much, it's not enough. Not for me.
I pull out two protein bars from my bag and offer her one. She reaches out for the bar and then pauses momentarily before relenting and unwrapping it in record time.
I unwrap mine carefully with my long fingers and she watches me cautiously while taking large bite after bite.
"You know, Rey, I've been really impressed with your work. I feel like you could do more though."
This is a longshot but I run with it. From what I've gathered so far of the girl, she's proud. She will not be happy to hear this. It won't hurt her but it will keep her talking to me, or so I hope.
"I agree. If only you could assign something challenging," she retorts. I smirk both amused and a little hurt. She's not wrong though. I've grown stale even in my teaching.
"You've got me there, Rey."
Her eyes widen, new to anyone agreeing with her. I feel bad for the girl but she need not worry anymore. I've got it covered from here.
"How about this, I promise to give you more control over your assignments if you show me what you are drawing." I offer a hint of a smile. It's unlike me but it seems to work.
"This isn't finished but I'll show you something else." She's skeptical but somehow firm and I can't help but grin at her, even going so far as showing a little teeth.
"Deal."
Rey once again hunches over her work and begins to turn back several pages until she stops on one. She then hugs her book before meeting my eyes with a serious expression.
She hesitates. "Just know I did this in only a day."
It's the first sign of weakness I've seen in her and I write it down alongside all the other things I've come to learn about Rey most eagerly.
This is the humanity that makes an artist, or so they say and I'm proud to bear witness to it. I nod and reach out for her end of the bargain. As clever as she seems to be, it didn't take much for her to agree to our deal without any assurance that I would follow through.
Not that I would ever break a promise to her.
I am not enough prepared to see the sketch.
It goes beyond what I thought my little Rey was capable of but now I know there is no limit I should place on her.
This took her a day?
The composition is exquisite, creating invisible lines that hook you in. The texture I still need to ask her about because she must be using some old pencils to create this kind of grainy effect in her work. It runs across the old pages of her book so well, small squares decorating even the thinnest of lines.
But it's the perspective and subject matter that exceeds all, a woman floating in the smoke, her feet closest and her breasts farthest away, her back arched backwards unnaturally displaying the shadow of an agonized face towards the viewer.
Rey has locked this woman into an eternity of suffering and it's beyond stunning.
And that's when I know. Everything they ever said about my artwork was true. Because here I see what true art is about. I don't even care if I will never be on her level; Rey has shown me true artistic ability. Raw talent. The best of humanity.
I feel a pang run from my heart to my extremities, leaving a coolness behind. I feel alive again, I have something to care for. This girl. Her talent.
And my world shifts. I knew this was happening before, in my body, in my heart but damn if my mind didn't just catch up then. She confirms everything I'd been feeling in that moment she shows me this agonized woman.
I can't help but know the woman is her or some version of her. The deeper mystery of Rey, one I didn't expect to find along with my prodigy, is the stark damage I see in her behavior. She never talks and the first thing that speaks volumes about her is the pain. The pain I feel too.
I must be there for her. That's all there is anymore.
I return her book to her after what must be too long with a slight nod and grin. It's back in her backpack in seconds.
I have to keep it simple. I can't show my cards yet or make her feel like I'm anything but someone to look up to. For now at least. Because if she thinks I care about her, she's going to shy away from the unfamiliarity.
And God, to have this girl revere me...
"Very nice, Rey." Her expression remains unchanged and I almost high five myself internally because I guessed that would be her reaction. Perfect. "Perhaps I can help you. How would you like to have free period? Let's call it free art period. You have free reign to do as you'd like, as long as it's expanding your body of work."
She eyes me skeptically and that's right. Once I break into the wall she has built tall, I need her to keep the rest out. Her art can only grow if she lives uninhibited. That's the first pang of guilt I feel but I shove it down.
"I'd like that." She offers a hint of a smile, and even though it doesn't touch her eyes, I feel more victorious than I have in years.
This is my first breakthrough in the art world in years. Sad but true.
That's when the van from the first night I saw her out here pulls up. Rey's face hardens, a mechanical determination taking over.
"Goodnight Mr. Ren," she says stiffly before hoisting her backpack on her shoulder, thrusting the wrapper of her bar in my hand, and rushing towards the van.
I try and catch a glimpse of the driver but the windows are so tinted I even lose sight of Rey when she disappears into the back seat. I'm struck she is gone, unsure how to process what I've just seen.
