THE ORIGINAL NOVEL WAS WRITTEN IN SPANISH, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TRANSLATION. IF YOU WANT TO READ IT IN SPANISH LOOK FOR IT UNDER THE SAME PSEUDONYM AND BY NAME "EL SECRETO"

In case you're wondering if Christian is in the novel, is there, just won´t expected.

I opened my eyes slowly. It was still early in the morning although I couldn't tell the time. I had forgotten to take off my lenss and could see the snow falling through the windows of the room without the curtains drawn. I'd had another erotic and very strange dream. Although this had been more lived than the previous time. I slid my hands over my face and felt the skin very sensitive. I sat on the bed and saw that I was naked. Strange, I don't sleep naked. I looked over to the other side of the bed where Ryan was asleep and turned to me. Shirtless and partially covered with sheet.

So it wasn't a dream then, I had slept with Ryan Chasting. I covered my face with my hands and couldn't believe it as I watched him sleep.

He looked sexy that way with his messy hair and the slight beard on his face. I remembered everything that happened, this time it wasn't too much to drink. Although I don't remember how many times we had sex, after the second time I forgot about the time and everything around me. But one thing I was sure of, I wasn't going to forget Ryan Chasting so easily.

The room was completely dark but something caught my attention. On his chest there were some marks. I turned on the light bulb next to my bed and I could see it perfectly. He had a tattoo. I didn't realize that last night while we were having sex.

Although I must say I didn't realize much last night. I was more focused on the sensations I was getting to notice something else. Although I seem to remember he wouldn't let me take his shirt off. At what point did he take it off?

I never imagined him with a tattoo. They were wings in gold and red, like fire engraved on his chest, touching almost the tips of these in the center of his chest. When I looked closely I could see that they were crossing towards his back and passing over his shoulders. I stretched out my hand to touch his chest and he turned face down giving me a spectacular view of his naked butt and the tattoo that occupied his entire back.

Was that a phoenix? That's why he told me last night we had so much in common.

I stared at that one as my mind flooded with memories. Where I had seen that one before? Maybe in a magazine. Then memories from two years ago struck me and became very clear in my mind. That tattoo, I've seen it before. It was the same one that the stranger I had slept with had, and I couldn't remember because I was drunk.

It couldn't be! It was impossible! Maybe there was more than one person with the same tattoo, that was more likely that I had slept with him before.

Ryan turned to me one more time, narrowed his eyes and smiled at me.

—Why are you looking at me like that? —he said as he stretched out his hand and in one quick move made me stay under him in bed. —Makes me want to sleep with you again. —he said, pressing his erect member against me and making me moan involuntarily. — And I don't think I have any more condoms.

I had to concentrate on what was important. I needed to find out about his tattoo and it didn't help much.

—I need to ask you something important. — I told him very seriously as he pressed harder against me and I groaned again without being able to help it.

—This, is more important. —he said as his lips went up to my neck, warm, tempting.

I wanted to enjoy his body again, but I had to know first. Concentrate, Ana.

—Wait, it's really important, Ryu. —I told him as he stopped.

—Did you call me Ryu? Then it must be very important.

He separated from me and sat down on the bed. I did the same thing and sat down while I covered myself with the sheet. He just laughed and shook his head. I needed all his concentration right now and being naked in front of him wasn't going to help.

—How long ago did you get the tattoo?

—It's been a while now. —he replied as he was frowning.

—More than two years?

—Yes, it's almost three.

—Have you been to the hotel's hallowen party before?

—Yes, a few years ago when I came to visit a friend.

Oh, my God!

I lost my virginity with Ryan Chasting.

—I don't understand why so many questions Anastasia. What was more important than sex. —he said with a frustrated tone, rolling his eyes.

—You really don't sleep with the same woman twice?

—No, I already told you. Anastasia, can you explain to me why there are so many strange questions? —he said irritably.

—What if you'd slept with me before? —Ryan stared at me, changing his face to a very serious one.

—Nothing, because I haven't slept with you before.

—I'm not so sure about that. How many people have that tattoo?

—None, it's exclusive. —what I figured out.

—That confirms my suspicions. We've slept together before, Ryan. —I told him as he stared at me in amazement.

—It's impossible, I think I'd remember if I'd slept with you.

—I'll refresh your memory. Hallowen party two years ago, short, honey-colored hair disguised as a vampire. Remember that? Or you were drunker than me?

—Shit! —he said, rising quickly out of bed at once.

—I don't remember you, but I do remember your tattoo, that's all I remember from that night. —well, that and the great sex we'd had.

—This is not a good thing. — he said very quietly, almost in a whisper, as if not to hear him as he walked naked from one side of the room to the other.

And I enjoyed that moment as he walked in front of me. This was something I had never seen or would see in a million years. Ryan walked in front of me as if being naked was the most natural thing in the world and it just made me laugh. I couldn't understand why there was so much concern on his face. If his problem was that he had broken his rule, it had a solution.

—Don't worry, I can pretend it never happened. —I said as I got up and looked for my clothes to wear.

In the end I knew he would never have a relationship with me even if we had slept together several times before. Now I realized he was a complete asshole. I knew it beforehand, and yet I let this go as far as it went. Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot. I kept repeating myself over and over again as I began to dress.

—You don't understand, Ana. This is a mistake, it should never have happened. —he said as he sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

—You were the one who wanted to sleep with me or you forgot. — I said frustrated as he looked at me like it was my fault. —And I remember refusing on several occasions. —except last night I couldn't resist.

I didn't understand his behavior. The one who was going to suffer the most in this story was me. I didn't understand why he kept reprimanding herself for sleeping with me again.

—Last night didn't seem like a mistake to you. — I said with a knot in my throat.

—Ana... —he said very quietly but I wouldn't let him continue.

—Was it that bad this time compare with the last time? —I asked him with some disappointment.

Perhaps he did not repeat with the same woman so as not to compare the sex of the previous times. It had been so bad. It had been great for me. But maybe he thought differently.

— It's not that, Anastasia. — he lifted his face and looked at me with a face from whoever's hiding something.

—Don't worry about me, as soon as I walk out that door I'm going to forget that we had sex. Besides, you've already warned me twice, actually, that you'd only sleep with me once. And in theory, I don't remember much about the first time. —I told him as I continued to dress.

—You won't, I know you won't forget me now, not so easily. —he said very sure of himself.

—You don't know me well enough to say that, Ryan. —I told him even though I knew he was right.

—I know you better than you think, Ana. Besides, I doubt very much you'll forget the man who deflowered you. —he said as he got out of bed and looked for his clothes also with his back to me.

Oh, shit! At least he remembered that night. I couldn't disagree with him. He was right about that. Not in a million years I would forget about him. But I had to try for the sake of my heart.

I finished getting dressed and went quickly to the bathroom. Then I looked at the cufflinks of his shirt on the counter. I took one in my hands. They were silver plated with a black square on which rested a red phoenix.

A phoenix.

Just like his tattoo.

Without thinking twice I closed my hand and took one of them, this would be a reminder of him. I dressed up as I could and went back to the room. Ryan was sitting on the bed with only his pants on, putting on his shoes. And for a moment I looked at him more than I should. His muscles marked perfectly all over his body. Although he wasn't overly muscular.

What I was most going to regret was not being able to enjoy his body as much as I would have liked. Who knew I'd be thinking about sex?

Ryan caught me looking at him and squinted. He looked at me like I was a problem he had to solve. I looked away from him. I looked at my crumpled dress and smiled.

Oh, shit!

I had to leave, I promised Christian I'd meet him today. It was still dark outside, but I didn't want to stay here, that would only make the situation more difficult.

I didn't know how I was going to look at Christian. I didn't even know if I should tell him what happened. I looked all over the room for my cell phone.

—Have you seen my phone? — I asked Ryan when I couldn't find him anywhere.

—Yes. —he said showing it to me.

—Excuse me, but I have to go. Don't worry, if I can forget what happened, I'm sure you can too. It's not the first time you've done this, is it. No one has to know. I'll see you back at the office.

—I said as I walked towards the door and out on my way to the elevator.

—Wait Anastasia. —I felt him calling me when I was getting into the elevator.

But I didn't listen to him.

—Ana... —his words stayed in the air as the elevator doors closed.

I didn't understand his behavior. He was the one who didn't want ties of any kind. What did he care if he had slept with me two years ago, I barely remember him. The doors opened and I walked out of the hotel down the steps of the lobby entrance.

It was still slightly snowing outside, but I didn't mind. My phone started ringing, but I didn't pay attention. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now...

The apartment felt cold and lonely. Without Kate here, I was very lonely.

Lonely and abandoned.

I should have heard my brain last night telling me over and over again that it was a bad idea. I didn't even know what time it was. I went to the bathroom and opened the shower. I desperately needed a bath. I had to erase all traces of his kisses and caresses from my body. I took off my contact lenses, my clothes and got in the shower.

But it was impossible.

As I slid my hands across my body, I felt that it was his that caressed me.

I got out of the shower wrapped in a robe, lay down on the bed and put on my glasses while I admired the cufflink with the phoenix I had taken with me. The clock was a little past 4:00 a.m. My phone kept ringing insistantly. I looked at the screen and saw it was Ryan. That's strange. I remembered blocking his calls.

I put the phone in a no-nonsense mode, put the cufflink in the drawer of the bedside table where Chastingless was, and wrapped it around my duvet after taking off my glasses. Tomorrow would be another day, and I'd think things through more clearly. And with that idea in my mind, my eyes closed slowly until I submerged myself in a deep sleep...