HEy

This chapter took so long. I simple always felt bad about it. So I worked my ass off today and here it is. Chapter 2. I hope you guys love it.

Love

TempeGeller.

Chapter 2: A true Austen aficionado

I had fallen asleep pretty fast that night, I had barely thought about the possibility . At dawn I had awoken and the idea about the exotic vacation had returned to my mind. What were the downsides of going, there were more downsides than upsides, both were money. 10000 dollars was a lot of it, money I couldn't miss. Like Ruby had said, I would return to an empty bank account. And if nothing changed in my life, I would only keep pleasure from the experience. If only the vacation was cheaper, I wouldn't have lost that many thoughts about it. A park that brought you to the world Jane Austen had created, it was a true paradise for a fan like me. I could only think about meeting a guy that was exactly like mister Darcy, accept he wasn't like the man I adored, the man would be an actor, following all the pointers miss Austen had given to a Mister Darcy like man, so even if I met a man like mister Darcy, it wouldn't really be a man like mister Darcy.
I slowly rose from the bed and moved to her dresser. I choose a blue dress from it, people always told her I looked good in blue, so it was only natural that I chose for the colour. I slowly left my bedroom, entering the combined kitchen, living room and diner. The first things I noticed was Ursula, she was sitting at the dinner table, eating a sandwich. In her hands she was holding the brochure of Austenland I had received only yesterday. My cheeks coloured red. The woman that had warned her about mister Darcy, was reading the very thing I didn't want her to read. There was not much I could say, I didn't want to talk about my obsession to go to the expensive vacation. Specially because I didn't want to ask money. Ursula was a very rich woman and her mother often joked that I should ask her money, yet there were not many moments that I actually would.

"Belle…" Ursula's eyes were directed to me. I bit on my lip. "Are you actually planning on going to this theme-park?"
I shook my head in all honesty, a couple of moments later I softly nodded in agreement. I didn't want to say yes, but I was in fact saying yes. Her eyes were directed to the photo on the brochure. She moved her hands together.
"So how are you going to pay for this journey?"
"That's how far I got." I replied. "I truly don't have an intention on truly taking this journey, I want to, but I can't afford it. I don't intend on giving my life savings to an Austen experience, even if I could meet a pretend Darcy."
"I thought you would really be…" Ursula paused. "It's too bad, it looks like something truly detoxing."
"It seems the opposite of detoxing." I replied. "Spending time with how perfectly the time period was, seems like oil to a flame. It will only make it worse."
"See that's the thing." Ursula smiled. "The reality can never be as fulfilling as the fantasy. It will be a good thing for you, to leave the fantasy behind you and finally come back to earth. Realize that a guy like Gaston is the best you'll ever get. Because honey, in this world, there are no perfect gentleman. Only those who look like."

I didn't feel like saying anything. I just stormed out the apartment, going to work. After this long day, Ursula would be gone. I had no idea what things would happen in life, I had no idea if I would go to Austenland. I even didn't know where life would get me. The only thing I did know, was that I had a life to live. I kept thinking about what Ursula had said. Were there truly no gentleman in the world left? Were they extinct. Was she right? Was Gaston truly the best guy I could get? Did I live in a world where I had to settle for mister Collins? And if I did, would I be satisfied to spent my whole life without love? Was I born to spend my life in a loveless relationship?
I spent that day at work, thinking about Austenland. Eventually deciding against it. I wouldn't be that foolish girl spending every dollar she had. I would be the girl who would call Gaston and try it once more again, knowing very well that I would never truly be happy with him by my side.

6 Weeks later

6 awful weeks later I was still in a relationship with Gaston. One that didn't do anything to me. I didn't like him on any plane. I just kept thinking about Ursula's words, that this was the best I was going to get. Right now he was sleeping by my side and even now I thought about taking a pillow and taking his life. I knew it wasn't like me, but that was how bad this relationship was for me. He was a man all about his achievement. He liked to hunt and that was the very thing I hated about him. I hated that he could harm any living creature. I hated that he was a cruel man. I hated that he was everything I saw at first sight. There was nothing about him left to figure out. He was as doll as the day and as cruel as the night. My mother noticed that I wasn't happy with the relationship and she also asked me why I stayed with him. I never truly answered her. She would undoubtedly say it was better to be happy by yourself, then unhappy in a relationship. I always pushed the question if I was happy away, by some library term she knew little about. My mother did love reading, she was the reason I loved books as much as I did.
I stared at Gaston and got up from the bed. I went to the living room and took myself a cup of tea. I kept it close to my body and felt the warmth coming to my body. Was it true? Were there no gentleman left? Was I destined to spend my whole life with Gaston?
A noise came from the other side of the room, I found Gaston staring at me. His eyes had something in it that I couldn't recognize.
"I'm going hunting." He stared at me. "Should I bring you anything?"
"I'm a vegetarian. You know that." She turned away. "Gaston, this thing, I think we should end it. It's not good for me, or you. I think you're not in this relationship either."
"Belle French." He stared at her. "I choose you with a reason. Almost 30, clock ticking. I'm as good as it gets. You're not going to find any better."
"Well, I would rather be alone and be happy." I stepped away from him. "Then spend my entire life with a Neanderthaler like you."

I pushed him from the apartment. I ran to the room, took the rest of his stuff and threw it outside. I heard him scream something, but I could care less. I was free of him once again. 6 weeks I had lost by his side. 6 weeks because of my aunt Ursula. That were 6 weeks I would never get back, yet I was happy that I would never have to share a bed with him once again. I knew that there might not be any gentleman left, I would rather be by myself than spent my whole life at his side. I had never met a man that was more of a monster than Gaston was. I would never waste my time on a guy like that ever again. I would be happy by myself.

It was late at night when I got home from the library. The number of the answering machine was flickering, but I had no intention of listing to my messages. I dropped myself on my bed, ready to go to sleep. That was when the phone rang. I used every bit of energy to pick up the phone. I heard the voice of Ariel on the other side. She never called me. There was a part of me that felt curious.
"I was on your doorstep today." She said. "But it seemed that you weren't at home. I called more than once. I have bad news, Belle. My mother Ursula has passed away."
There was a part of me shocked. Shocked that we hadn't been on good terms the last time I saw her. I was shocked that a healthy woman of 59, just dropped dead. There had been no news of diseases, yet Ariel told another story. Apparently she had been ill for a long time. When she visited the last time she had known she didn't have long. She had said nothing to anyone. Part of me wanted to replay the last meeting. Part of me wished that I hadn't stormed out on her. Part of me wished I had never mentioned the vacation to her. Yet I had and there was nothing I could do about that. I could not take back the things I had said and I would never be able to speak to her once again. I heard Ariel's cries and wished I knew her well enough to take the pain away. Yet I hardly knew anything about her. I had no idea what she liked or if she believed in anything. There was nothing I could do. I didn't even know why she called me. There was no reason what so ever. I would get a letter of the fact she was dead, but a phone call seemed strange to me. Yet I didn't dare to ask why she had called. I didn't dare to say anything that could seem like an attack. So I kept my mouth shut. I said nothing about my break up with Gaston and I said nothing of her guilt in that matter. I didn't mention anything. I didn't even say anything about my lost fantasy of Austenland.
"The reason I'm calling…" Ariel's tears seemed to stop. "You're in her will."

"What?" I was surprised by the fact the woman would leave me anything. She hardly knew me, she only visited a few times a year and those times were hardly enough to leave me anything in her will. It had to be something stupid, a book on dating or something. Something that she thought would be good for me. With my luck it was another cut out of mister Darcy. With my luck it would be the Darcy of the Knightly movie. I knew for one matter that she would never leave me money. She wasn't that kind of woman. She only left money to family members she had seen much in the last years. That wasn't me.
"I was just as surprised as you were." She replied. "I never knew she was fond of you."
'She was never fond of you', turned in the best compliment of the day. Off course I knew that Ursula never looked at me with love. She would always tell me how imperfect my life was. She would always say that my romantic ideas would never get me anywhere. She always said that I was wrong about love. She said love wasn't layered, that I was wrong about anything I said. She said I was too much of idealist. She said so much things and I hardly ever listened to her. Yet right now I had to listen to her daughter. Because the woman I hardly ever listened to, had left me something in her will.
"She didn't leave you any money." Ariel replied. "If that is what you think."
"I hadn't expected." Belle rolled her eyes. "What did my dear aunt leave me?"
"Well, she arranged a vacation for you." Ariel explained. "Something called Austenland."

"She didn't…"
"The attorney will call about the details." Ariel said. "I thought you should hear it from me."
That was about the strangest conversation I had in my entire life. My aunt had left me a stay in Austenland. I was going to my fantasy land. I was happy, not with her dead off course. I was happy with the very thing she left me. I couldn't believe it and when more time passed by, I would not understand more. Why had she left me this? Did she want to give me that very detox cure? Would it really help with me? I had no idea. I didn't think I had a problem, I considered myself a fan. A very big fan, but still a fan. That was who I was. I loved miss Austen. There were more people that loved her. I didn't have a problem. My apartment told another story, it told the story of someone that was loved Jane Austen. Every surface of my apartment was covered with it. There were dolls of every heroine and every suitor. There was even a Collins doll, which I used to throw everywhere. My most prized possession was a doll of mister Darcy. He spoke, but I hardly ever let him do that. He was a collector's item which I had gotten from a Kickstarter. I had supported a short movie of Pride and prejudice. It was right next to the DVD-box of the Lizzie Bennet diaries, which I watched on a rainy day. When it was on you tube I watched it. Even that mister Darcy was beyond dreamy. I loved every part of that show. Maybe I did have a problem.
Maybe this Austenland would make me less obsessed. Maybe I would finally be satisfied with anything but perfect. Maybe I could live a normal life. That next morning I got the call, I went to the office and got everything. I couldn't sell the vacation and I had to go on it myself. I would leave in two weeks. I got every piece of documents and had to get my passport ready. I was going to Austenland. I was going to live my dream.

The next day I went to work with a song in my heart. I was counting the days until I left for London and was transported to another time and day. I had so much fantasies about it. Fantasies about meeting someone nice, eyes meeting from across the room. Fantasies that were all more amazing then the previous. I actually didn't know if it would be good for me. I thought about being Elizabeth Bennet and meeting mister Darcy. Did I have the time for going from loathing to loving? I hadn't thought about the time part of the equation. What if I didn't have enough time to fall in love? What if it took too much time? It did take a lot of time for Emma and Knightly to fall in love and it took even longer for Elizabeth and William Darcy to fall in love. I hoped to be like Jane and Charles Bingley, they only took a day to fall for each other. A day to realize they were perfect for each other. If only there wouldn't be a mister Darcy to make the relationship more complicated. I honestly admitted I was not like Jane Bennet. I always saw myself as a Lizzie. I was nowhere near as understanding as Jane. I had Lizzie's prejudice. How I looked forward to my little trip to Austenland.

I moved over clouds going to work. The questions I answered that day were filled with a meaningful smile and I was sure everyone knew something really powerful happened in my life. If they weren't aware of it, their eyes had be shut closed pretty tightly. After a long day I stepped next to Ruby. She noticed my absent smile directly. I don't know if it's a best friend thing, or the obviousness of the situation.
"Tell me you didn't…" She opened her eyes wider. "Tell me you didn't spent your entire savings on this Austen experience."
"I spent no single dollar on it." I answered. "My aunt left it to me in her will. Ariel called me tomorrow. She's giving me a stay the one and only Austenland."
"And you can't exchange if for…" She replied. "Let's say, money."
"It's non-refundable."

"I don't know, Belle." She touched my arm. "Do you think you should subject yourself to this. It might make things worse. "
We walked out of the library, I stared around. I didn't want to answer her. My aunt thought it would help me. Yet my very best friend thought it would make things worse. I didn't know which truth to believe. I kept quiet as we walked towards the subway. We stepped on the first vehicle we could find. She sat down right next to me and gave me the time to think about my situation. She didn't expect a direct response. I wouldn't have been able to give her this anyway. I had pushed away anything negative. I my mind only the positive of Austenland existed. Would I come back crazy? Would I forget what reality was? Had my young days of Larping gotten to me? As I arrived in my stop, Ruby followed me. Almost like she wanted to point out something. She followed me to my apartment and as she got there, she stared at me.
"I'm worried about you, Belle." She touched my hand. " You know how bad you get with this mister Darcy. I don't want this thing to take over."
"So you know how bad I am?" I smiled. "Ruby, I'm just a fan."
Ruby did the one thing I didn't want her to do, she pulled open my bedroom door and walked in a world I didn't want anyone to know. She took the mister Darcy doll and pushed it in my hands. I stared at it, it spoke to me. Yet I didn't hear its words. I kept my eyes fixated on Ruby.
"You used to be a fan." She touched my hand. "I don't blame you honey. You've had rotten luck with the whole romance. I mean Gaston is…"
"We're over."
"Oh thank God." Ruby replied. "So I'm allowed to speak freely about mister no brains. Belle, can I say it."

"Ruby…" I paused. "Say it…"
"Okay, this obsession." The word had fallen I got extremely quiet. I didn't know what word to say. I just knew I didn't think of myself as obsessed. Maybe I thought, an obsessed girl would be happy with a journey like this. An obsessed girl would going crazy. A normal girl would find another boyfriend and move on with her life. I wasn't a normal girl and I was never going to be. No sane guy would ever date me. I was crazy.
"Belle, it's been brewing since we were in high school. I used to fantasize about mister Darcy as well, but you turned it in to something new and I know Gaston has pushed you towards it."
"So you're saying I should stay home?"
She didn't respond right away. I saw that she started to thinking about a response. She sat down on my bed, put her hand on mine. She didn't want to say anything stupid, she didn't want to change my mind. I was sure she would. She had been my best friend since we were both 9. I was bullied and Ruby simple took my side. She had always been by my side and I believed she always would. There was no way that she would ever leave me. I could always count of her, for giving me the hard opinions. I could always count on her, I never wanted that to change.
"Belle, you don't need this trip." She turned her face a little. "You don't need mister Darcy. You will find someone and when he's the one, trust me you'll know."
"How do you know that Archie is the one?" I stared at her.
"Because no matter what my day was like, Archie always thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. He always thinks I'm the best version of yourself. That's what you need someone that accepts you no matter what. You don't need mister Darcy..."
"But mister Darcy…"

"Ruby, so what should I do?"
"You know what." Ruby smiled. "I have changed my mind. I totally support you going to this place. Because I'm sure the reality will not be as fulfilling as the fantasy."
"I don't think you understand…"
"Let's make a wager of it…" She stared to the room. "If I wine, you de-Austen your room."

That was it. With that my journey to Austenland was back on. As the time passed by, the day came closer and closer. My head was full of things I expected. I didn't know what to truly expect. I honestly didn't know if I should expect love. The day before I left Ruby came to my apartment to wish me a good journey.
"I got you a little something." She pulled a dress from her bag and handed it to me. And with that I left for the airport. I was going to somewhere I always wanted to be. I took little luggage, since we would get clothes right there. I only took some underwear and toiletries. I packed rather lightly. Yet a part of me felt that this was growing up. I thought I would leave mister Darcy behind me forever. This journey would all be about that. Maybe that would mean I finally would find a meaningful relationship. I hardly knew what was going happen to me. Yet my dreams hoped on true love. However I would never know what was about to come.

okay, so I'm torn. In the original story we don't see much off Molly. Ruby is taking Molly's roll, so that means we won't see more of Ruby. So here is my question; should I try to enlarge Ruby's part? Please review.