And here's part 2! A quick note about the Girlfriends: their names and appearances are based off of three similarly colored ladies in another series I like, but I need to stress that their personalities are Not.

Enjoy.

"May I present, Master Sanji and Miss Charlotte," the Vinsmoke family butler said as he opened the door to one of the sitting rooms.

"Thanks, Jean," Sanji said as Jean turned his nose up at him and abruptly walked out of the room. He never did like Sanji.

"Well well well, look what the cat dragged in," Sanji's attention was directed at the other occupants of the room.

Ichiji was sitting in an armchair on the left side of the room reading a book. He glanced up when Jean had opened the door, but returned to it once he saw it was only Sanji. Sitting next to him was a woman with flaming red hair tied back in a high ponytail. Her eyes were calm as she sipped her drink, observing the rest of the room.

Niji was in the center of the room on the couch. He was the one who greeted Sanji, and his grin now was sharklike, malicious and showing off all his teeth, and Sanji was instantly on edge. His arm was around the shoulders of a woman with long flowing blue hair, who smiled serenely at the entering couple.

Off to the right on the smaller couch was Yonji. Like Ichiji he also hadn't acknowledged Sanji's arrival, but that was mostly because his lip were fused to the green haired woman next to him. Her hair was done up in two buns, and after hearing the door open, she opened her eyes and pushed at Yonji's shoulder.

"Babe," she said, prying her mouth away from his, "Someone's here."

Yonji grunted as he turned around, eyes narrowing as he spotted Sanji in the doorway, "Oh, it's just Sanji."

"Oh? The mysterious third brother?" she grinned and pushed Yonji all the way off, "Introduce us, Babe."

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Sanji, this is my girlfriend, Fiona Hyrill, youngest daughter of the Hyrill Family, known far and wide as one of the biggest automotive distributors. Fiona, this is the family fuck-up, Sanji."

"Hey," she leaned into Yonji's touch and smiled, "It's nice to meet you. I've heard next to nothing about you."

Sanji's eyes traveled up her long legs wrapped in skintight pants, stopping to rest at her breasts, wrapped in an equally tight shirt. Pudding nudged him none to gently in the ribs and his eyes snapped up to her face. Fiona's eyes were full of mirth, as if she knew exactly where his eyes and mind had lingered, and her smile took a more seductive turn.

His face went red as he looked away, "Y-yeah, same."

Fiona chuckled as Yonji turned her head and began kissing her again, with more fervor than before.

"Sanji," he glanced over at Niji who held his girlfriend a little closer, her head resting on his shoulder, "So glad you could make it home for the holidays."

"And with Pudding," Ichiji added without glancing up from his book, "Father always thought you were an appropriate match."

Sanji ground his teeth, itching to tell them both just what he thought of their opinions loudly and with several curse words, but instead he let Pudding's touch on his arm ground him, and said, "And who are these lovely ladies that you managed to trick into thinking you're actual human beings?"

"Forgive my rudeness," Niji laughed as he gestured at his girlfriend, "This is Nina Labrinna, the only daughter of Nathaniel Labrinna, the world renowned philanthropist and entrepreneur. Nina, my brother Sanji and his girlfriend, Pudding Charlotte."

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you," Nina smiled as she played with a lock of her hair, "I've always wanted to see all four Vinsmoke brothers in one room," she gasped, "And now I have! Oh, you really do all have the same face! It's like seeing four different colored Niji's!"

"Far be it for me to disagree with such a beautiful lady," Sanji said, "but if I saw Niji's face every time I looked in a mirror I'd have gouged my eyes out a long time ago."

"The day I look like Sanji is the day is the day I run away from home and join the circus," Niji smirked, "or worse, a kitchen."

Sanji's eyebrow twitched.

"Oh please," the woman in the armchair scoffed, "You're identical quadruplets, you're bound to look similar. Stop being so facetious about it."

"This is Danielle Holodriecht," Ichiji said, "The oldest daughter and heir to the Holodriecht Corporation. Dani, Sanji and Pudding Charlotte, head chocolatier of and one of the heirs to Big Mom Sweets."

"Pleasure," Dani said with a nod.

"Oh wow, you're one of those Charlottes?" Nina said as she sat up, "I didn't realize! I love Big Mom's Sweets, and you make the chocolate? That's so exciting! Making chocolate all the time must be so fun!"

"Yes," Pudding smiled and nodded, "It's a delight."

"Oh, here," she pat the seat beside her, "Let's be best friends!"

Pudding let go of Sanji's arm and sat down next to her. Sanji made a detour by the bar to pour two glasses of wine, downed one, then quickly refilled it before joining her. He handed one of the glasses to Pudding, who thanked him before returning to her conversation with Nina.

"So Sanji," Dani leaned on the armrest to talk to him, "What exactly do you do for the Germa Group? Ichiji never said."

"Ah, well," Sanji tapped his wine glass, "That's because I don't work for the Germa Group."

"Sanji works as a cook," Ichiji said.

Niji laughed as he leaned around his girlfriend to add, "Yeah, he left home to strike it big on his own, and he just ended up in some kitchen!"

"I am a chef," Sanji said, glaring at Niji, "A high class chef."

"Could have been making millions if you stayed home and did what you were told," Niji said, "Instead you're stuck cooking for other people."

Sanji ground his teeth and glanced at the clock on the wall. He'd only been here for a few minutes and he already wanted to grab Zoro and leave. Except Zoro and Reiju weren't even here yet. They should have been right behind them, where were they?

"A self made man," Dani's comment brought his attention back to her. She tapped her finger against her ruby red lips, "I can respect that. Where do you work?"

"At this little restaurant by the coast called the Baratie," he said as he took a sip of his wine.

"I've heard of that restaurant. It's supposed to be a very fine dining establishment, and the food is exquisite. You must do good work to receive such high praise."

"Thank you," Sanji said with a genuine smile.

"No matter how high class the restaurant is, you're still serving others," Ichiji said.

Before Sanji could respond, Jean opened the door to the sitting room and said, "May I present, Miss Reiju and Mr. Roronoa."

"Sorry we're late," Reiju said, "I'm afraid we lost our way."

The room went silent. Yonji and Fiona separated as Niji sat up straighter and Ichiji closed his book; the temperature in the room felt like it dropped a few degrees. Sanji downed half his glass of wine in one go and Zoro did his best to glare down the three brothers simultaneously.

After a few tense moments, Ichiji stood and held out his hand, "I'm Ichiji Vinsmoke. It's nice to meet you."

Zoro gave the hand a suspicious look but shook it all the same, "Zoro Roronoa."

"My brothers, Niji and Yonji," he said, and each of them nodded in turn, "And Sanji, I guess."

Sanji waved and took another sip of wine, "Yeah, nice to finally meet you."

Zoro glared. Sanji gave him the best shit eating grin he could muster.

"It's, not everyday we meet our sister's boyfriend," Ichiji said, "Where has she been hiding you?"

"Can't a girl have a private life?" Reiju said with a smile as she touched Zoro's arm. Sanji's eyes narrowed at the touch, and he looked away as she continued, "Why don't you have a seat while I get us something to drink?"

"Yeah," Yonji and Fiona shifted down to make room for him on their couch, "Sit down. Let's get to know each other."

Zoro gave Sanji a look, but he just shrugged as Zoro made his way over to the couch and sat down.

"So, Zoro," Niji said as he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees, "What does your family do?"

"Whatever they want, I guess," he said as Reiju came over and handed him a drink before sitting down next to him, "I don't really keep tabs on them."

Sanji laughed into his wine glass.

"I mean, what industry?" he tried again.

Zoro shrugged as he took a sip from his drink, "Does it matter?"

The awkward silence that followed was broken by Jean's re-entrance.

"Dinner is served," he said, leaving the door open for them as he left.

As the others filed out, Sanji hung back, and was glad to see Zoro did too. When they were alone, Sanji playfully hip-checked him and said, "Glad you finally made it."

"Those back roads are so winding, it's a wonder anyone can find their way here," he muttered, stepping away from him, "Your sister was the one driving and she kept getting turned around."

"Yeah, she's terrible with directions," he said, taking a sip of his wine, "You guys are made for each other."

"Man, shut up," he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stalked out into the foyer. Sanji followed him at a relaxed pace, "Why do your brothers seem to like, instantly hate me?"

"Because they're absolutely terrible," he took another sip of wine, "Also you're the first boy Reiju's brought home. They're sizing you up."

"What the fuck, I'm not even her boy," he sighed and rubbed at his hair, "Why would that even matter?"

"They're just being protective of their big sister. How else would you expect them to react?"

"Like she's a grown ass woman who can make her own choices," he took a sip from his drink, "'Cause she is."

Sanji shrugged, "Like I said, terrible."

"Speaking of terrible, when were you going to tell me about you and Pudding?"

He balked, blinking at him. What the hell did Reiju tell him? "What about me and Pudding?"

But before he could respond they'd arrived at the dining room and were being beckoned in by Jean. They both entered and sat down next to their respective dates.

The general chatter in the dining room ended with Judge's entrance. Sanji rarely if ever talked about the Vinsmokes, and when he did he almost never mentioned his birth father. All Zoro knew about the man was that Sanji hated him, so if nothing else he was interested in sizing him up for himself.

Judge was a rather large man, easily taking command of the room with just his presence. He smiled at his sons and greeted their dates warmly. As he made his way around the table, he completely passed over Sanji and instead offered Pudding a brief kiss on her cheek. When he made his way over to Reiju and Zoro, Reiju stood up, nudging at Zoro to do the same.

Judge gave his daughter a brief hug and a hello before he pulled away and sized up Zoro. After a brief stare down, he held out his hand and said, "It's Zolo, right?"

"Zoro," he corrected as he shook his hand. Judge squeezed it hard, but it was going to take more than an extra firm handshake to intimidate him, "It's nice to meet you."

Judge grunted as he let go of his hand, giving him one last look over before he made his way to the head of the table.

Zoro couldn't get a good read off of him, but he got the distinct feeling that he didn't like him. Well, that was fine. Zoro was never too concerned with people liking him, and he couldn't care less about the Vinsmokes' opinion of him.

Judge sat down at the seat at the head of the table as Jean re-entered with a bow.

"Mistress Sora should be here in a few minutes," he said, "Shall we start without her?"

"Of course," he said, tucking his napkin in, "She knows what time dinner is."

Jean nodded and signaled for the rest of the house staff to bring out the food.

Judge wasted no time and immediately started eating. When Zoro grabbed his utensils to do the same, Reiju nudged him just under his ribs and nodded at the rest of the table.

No one else had started eating. Dani had picked up her drink, and Nina was playing with her utensils, but hadn't touched anything on their plates. Across the table from him, Sanji had a dark look on his face that he usually had right before he kicked someones face in directed right at Judge.

Zoro sat back and put his hands in his lap.

Judge began talking with his sons about their business and their girlfriends about their families. Zoro wasn't really listening and tuned it all out, more focused on Sanji's fists clenched on the table. Pudding reached over and placed her hand over his, and he relaxed almost immediately. Zoro scoffed and looked away, feeling his own fists clench in response.

After a few minutes, Jean re-entered the dining room and announced, "Mistress Sora has arrived."

Sanji's mom looked a lot like him. She was a bit shorter than her son, thinner, paler, and her eyebrows lacked the distinctive swirl her children's had, but she had the same flowing blonde hair, the same bright blue eyes, and the same soft smile that Sanji always wore so well. A maid was at her side, gripping her arm as they walked to the table, and he noticed how much she was leaning on her just to make those few steps.

The closest to her, Sanji stood up and walked over to her, gently taking her arm from the maid as he leaned over and kissed her cheek, "How are you feeling?"

"Just fine," she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, "I'm so glad you made it, Sanji. It's wonderful to see you."

Sanji wrapped his arms around her and hugged back, "It's great to see you too."

As they pulled apart, the brothers stood and walked over to their mother. Ichiji got there first, leaning down and kissing her cheek.

"Oh," she reached up and pulled him into a hug, "Ichiji, you always work so hard. It's so good of you to take some time off for us."

"Of course, Mom," he said as she pulled away and turned to Niji.

"Niji," she hugged him too, and he hugged her back carefully, "It's always a delight to see you. You're taking care of yourself, right?"

"Yes, Mom," he replied.

She pulled away and turned to Yonji, "My baby boy," she said as she hugged him too, "Did you get even bigger since the last time I saw you?"

"Probably," he grinned, hugging her back and lifting her off the floor a little before gently placing her back down.

By this time Reiju had stood up as well. She approached her mother with a serene smile and greeted, "Hello, Mom."

"Reiju," she said as she hugged her tight. Reiju stiffened, raising an arm and wrapping it loosely around her shoulder, "Thank you for coming."

"Of course," she said as they both let go.

Reiju carefully took her mother's arm and guided her to her seat at the table as the others sat back down. Once everyone was seated, they finally started eating the food, and Zoro wasted no time in digging right on in.

"We have so many new faces around the table this year," Sora said as a maid brought out a bowl of almost clear looking soup and placed it in front of her, "And some familiar ones as well. It's always a joy to see you, Pudding."

Pudding beamed at her, "It's a pleasure to see you too, Mrs. Vinsmoke, as always."

As always, she said, as if to rub it in his face in particular and taunt him with how close she already was with the rest of the family, with how long she and Sanji had known each other. Zoro knew he was being a little ridiculous, she was just being polite, but he still bit into his carrots moodily as Sora smiled back.

"Dani, Nina," she turned her attention to them, "It's wonderful that you could make it."

"It's truly a delight to be invited, Mrs. Vinsmoke," Dani replied, a soft smile gracing her face, "My father sends his regards."

"Oh, yes," Nina added, "Daddy and Mommy say hello as well!"

"Do they? How nice," she smiled. Zoro noticed that at the other end of the table, Judge was eating his food with a fiery glare in his eyes. His outward appearance was calm enough as he talked to Ichiji, but Zoro always had a sixth sense about these things, and he could feel him fuming underneath it all.

"I look forward to seeing them all at the party tomorrow," she turned her attention down the table, "And, it's Fiona, isn't it?"

"Fiona Hyrill, yes," she smiled.

"Oh!" Sora's eyes went wide and her smile grew, "I know your mother, don't I?"

Fiona perked up, "Yes!"

"We were good friends back in grammar school. I knew her well," she sighed wistfully, "I hope she's doing well."

"Yes, of course. She spoke very highly of you too," she grinned, "After Yonji and I started dating she told me so much about you, I feel like we're friends already."

"That's wonderful," she laughed, light and airy, not like Sanji's laugh at all, but it held the same mirth and delight his did, "It's a shame she can't make it to the party tomorrow."

"Yes, she and my father are very sorry they'll be unable to attend."

"A pity," she glanced across the table at her husband, who looked away, "But how strange the world works! After all these years you'd end up with Yonji."

"Yeah," she playfully bumped Yonji's shoulder, "We met backstage at a concert. I didn't even realize who he was until we went out for drinks later."

"I see," her smile softened a little, "You are very much like your mother. I think we'll get along great."

Fiona beamed as Zoro shifted uncomfortably in his seat. All these people were already so well acquainted and here he was, just an outsider trying to butt in. He wasn't even really dating Reiju, didn't even care about their opinion of him, but he was starting to feel self-conscious and awkward. He glanced between Sora and Sanji, noticing the soft look on his face whenever he met his mother's eyes, and felt his anxiety grow.

"And, Zoro, right?" Sora said, finally turning her attention to him.

Zoro blushed and sat up a little straighter, "Uh, yeah."

Sora smiled at him, kind and gentle, causing Zoro to blush just a little more, and he suddenly realized that he was so nervous because he actually genuinely wanted Sanji's mom to like him. It was such a small, dumb thing, but since Sanji cared about her so much, Zoro wanted her approval.

"Reiju has been very cryptic about you," her smile fell a little, "I'm sorry, I know almost nothing about you."

"That's okay," Zoro shrugged, "I'm a private person."

Her smile came back in full force, "We'll get to know each other this weekend. I'm thrilled you could make it, Zoro."

His blush came back in full force as he looked away, "Y-yeah," he spotted Sanji across the table smirking at him. The fucker was probably enjoy the hell out of this. He looked back at Sora, smiled as best he could, and said, "Thanks for having me."

Sora beamed at him, and he felt his own smile grow, "Of course! So, Zoro," she said as she picked up her spoon and took a sip of soup, "What do you do for a living?"

Zoro paused, his fork halfway to his mouth, "Uh-"

"Zoro's a personal trainer," Reiju answered instead, "That's how we met. I mentioned to Sanji that I needed a little help with my workout, and he said one of his friends could help," she nodded to Sanji, who had frozen, eyes wide with his grip tight on his fork, "You said he was one of the best, right?"

That snapped him out of his enough to snort, "I definitely didn't say that," he pushed the food around on his plate, "I said he was dumb and annoying but he'd get the job done."

"Wait," Niji leaned over to stare at him, "You know Sanji?"

"Uh, yeah," he shrugged as he felt more then saw Judge's glare, "We were at school together."

"It's just," he looked over at Sanji, who was eating his food as nonchalantly as a person could, "You never said."

Sanji shrugged, "I made a lot of friends at college. Since when do you care?"

"I care when they start dating my sister."

"So you're one of Sanji's college friends?" Sora beamed at him, and Niji backed off, "How delightful! I always enjoy meeting Sanji's friends. You really are the whole package, aren't you?"

Her enthusiasm was so genuine, and Zoro had no idea how to respond other than a shrug and an, "I guess."

She grinned at him, and he couldn't help but smile back in response as the conversations across the rest of the table picked up again.

He could still feel Judge fuming at the other end of the table, but with both Sanji and Sora grinning at him like that, he really couldn't bring himself to care.

Once dinner was over everyone split up, the ladies taking drinks in the parlor while the men took theirs in the study. Sanji usually just joined his mother and sister in the parlor rather then deal with Judge and his brothers, but this year it would be a bit crowded with his brother's girlfriends too. Besides, at least in the study he had Zoro.

Sanji picked up his recently refilled wine glass and started following the others towards the study.

Zoro grabbed his arm, making them both hang back a little, as he whispered in his ear, "How much have you had to drink?"

Sanji's eyes shot to the hand on his arm, tracing up the muscled arm that was barely being held in his shirt. Zoro didn't usually wear sleeves, it was hard for him to find shirts with sleeves that fit, but when he did it only helped to accentuate just how strong and muscular he was, and Sanji was nothing but a sucker for some solid muscles. Damn, Zoro was so hot. He was so lucky to have him.

His eyes traced up Zoro's arms and neck, and by the time they reached his too brown eyes he'd gotten a little lost in them and had forgotten the question, "What?"

Zoro frowned, "You had two glasses of wine at dinner. How much did you have before then?"

"Oh, a few," he glanced down at his current glass, "A bit. Enough. Why?"

Zoro sighed and took Sanji's glass from him, pouring almost half of it into his own glass, "You get handsy when you're drunk."

"What? I do not."

"You're literally stroking my bicep right now."

Shit, he was. He quickly pulled his hand away as Zoro handed him back his wine glass, "That's all your getting for the rest of the night."

"What? C'mon," Sanji whined, "I'll be good, I promise."

"Hey, you're the one who wants everyone here to think you're straight," he shrugged as they followed after the others, "If you want to come out to your family by groping me in front of them because, how did you phrase it?" he smirked, and Sanji bristled, knowing exactly what he was referencing, "I'm too irresistible to resist, right? Well, that's fine by me."

He blinked and followed after him, "I did not say it like that."

"Nami still has the video. For $500 she'll delete it."

Sanji clicked his tongue, blatantly refusing to acknowledge the validity of the statement as he lead Zoro through the house, "Why'd you tell everyone we'd met already?"

"'Cause we have," he rubbed his head, "Reiju and I agreed that it would be easier to just tell everyone we were friends then to pretend we'd never met when we clearly had."

That made sense. Still, Reiju plotting with Zoro left a sour taste in his mouth, and being blindsided was never fun, "Well, thanks for the heads up, I guess."

"I gave you as much heads up about that as you gave me about Pudding," Zoro said with a frown as he swirled his drink around.

Sanji narrowed his eyes, "That's the second time you've brought up me and Pudding. What the hell do you think is going on?"

"I don't think anything," he took a sip from his drink and glared, "Just, it would have been nice to know that you two dated before."

Sanji froze and stared at him as a blush crept up his face. What the shit? "Who the fuck told you that?"

"Reiju," Zoro had stopped as well and gave him a look that was partly anger but mostly exasperated.

He groaned and ran a hand down his face, "Of fucking course she did. Can't she just mind her own damn business for once in her life?"

"So it is true?" Sanji glanced over and saw Zoro's frown deepen, "You did date her."

"I mean, yeah, I guess," Sanji sighed and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I really didn't think it was that big a deal and it's just, the whole thing is really embarrassing. I'm not trying to hide any like, latent feelings for her or anything, trust me. And Reiju knows that, she's just saying shit."

"If it's not a big deal, why didn't you just tell me?"

"I told you, it's embarrassing, and I don't like to talk about it," but one look at Zoro's expression told him that that wasn't going to cut it. Shit, fuck Reiju, fuck Christmas, fuck this whole shitty situation, "If you really wanna know about it, I'll tell you later."

"I'd really like to know about it."

Of course he did. Fuck Zoro too, "So I'll tell you about it later," he grabbed his arm and guided him to the study, "C'mon, we gotta mingle."

Judge and the others were already talking business by the time they entered the room. He and Zoro sat down in the two free armchairs off to the side as they talked stocks and bonds and other Germa Group things that bored him to tears. He glanced down at his half empty glass and sighed, remembering that Zoro had cut him off of wine for the rest of the night, but maybe other things were okay? He looked over at the cabinet he knew Judge kept hard liquor in and pondered just how much he could get from it before anyone noticed.

One look from Zoro told him that was a fool's errand, and he sunk further into the chair, thoroughly miserable as he took a barely there, rationed sip from his glass.

"So, Zolo," Judge said as he turned his attention to their side of the room for the first time, "What exactly do you see in my daughter?"

Zoro froze, wineglass halfway to his mouth, and Sanji sat up a little straighter as if he was the one being interrogated, as he said, "Uh, well, lots of things."

"What kinds of things?" Ichiji said, leaning forward just enough to be noticeable, "If you don't mind me asking?"

"Well," Zoro took that sip of wine as his eyes darted to Sanji. Sanji's eyes widened, silently telling him to just make some shit up, and Zoro honest to god fidgeted in his seat, "She's, you know, attractive. And smart."

"Yeah, sure," Niji smirked as he threw his arm across the back of the couch, "And I'm sure her money has nothing to do with it."

"How much do you make, Mr. Roronoa?" Judge asked, as casual as anything, and Sanji wanted more than anything to just kick his fucking teeth right out of his stupid skull.

Zoro's eyes narrowed as he leaned back in his chair, "Enough," he clarified, taking a sip of his drink before continuing, "I don't give a shit about Reiju's money. I've never asked for it and I never will. That's not how our relationship works."

"So enlighten us," Yonji said, "How does your relationship work?"

"You've recently moved in together, isn't that right?" Judge asked, taking a sip of his own drink, "Who pays the bills?"

"We both do," Zoro gripped the arm of his chair, almost hard enough to break it. He was reaching dangerous levels of pissed off, and while Sanji knew he should intervene before he got into attacking mode, part of him really wanted to see Zoro punch them, "We're equal partners in our relationship."

"How pathetic," Ichiji scoffed, "A real man should be able to provide for girlfriend, not the other way around."

Zoro exhaled slowly and leaned back, directing his own smirk at Ichiji, "Maybe I'm just secure enough in my masculinity that I'm not threatened by her doing well."

Ichiji was visibly taken aback as he frowned and leaned away.

Sanji laughed, maybe a little too loud for the setting, but he couldn't help it. Having Zoro come to Christmas was the best fucking idea, he was so outside anything the Vinsmokes expected or could plan for. Maybe for Easter Reiju could pretend to date Luffy, that would be pure entertainment.

"You shut the fuck up," Niji scowled at him, "This is your fault anyway."

"Yes it is," he conceded, wiping tears from his eyes, "And I'd do it again in a heartbeat," he leaned back, pointing his glass at his brother, "You all have this obsession with money and titles and whatnot. Some of us don't give a shit about things like that, and it just boggles your fucking minds."

He glanced over and saw Zoro smiling at him. He shot him a quick grin before turning back to the rest of the room.

Judge gave him his patented stern look from across the room, but fuck him. Sanji was an adult now; he couldn't touch him. He took an actual sip from his drink and stared right back.

"It's getting late," Judge suddenly said, breaking eye contact. He set down his empty glass and stood up. His sons stood up too, but Sanji was content to stay seated, and he noticed Zoro following his lead, "Excuse me."

After he left, the Vinsmokes sat down again and Yonji asked, "So Zoro, just what kinds of girls are you into?"

Zoro froze again, "Uh, well, I'm with Reiju so…" he made a vague hand gesture.

"No, yeah, I get that," he grinned and leaned forward, "But you've dated girls before her and you still look around, yeah? What's your type?"

"What do you look for in a woman?" Niji clarified with his own grin.

Oh, this was gonna be good. Sanji fished his phone out of his pocket and opened up the camera, casually aiming it at Zoro while pretending to be indifferent to the whole discussion.

"I, you know," he gestured wildly, "I just, I love how when you look at a woman and you go, 'Yeah, that person over there is in no way a man. Definitely a woman that one,' you know? You get it right? How women are just. Like. People. That exist. And aren't men," he gestured again and leaned back in his chair, taking a sip from his drink before ending the rant with, "Super feminine. Love that about women."

Sanji couldn't help but let out a snort. He quickly opened the group chat and sent the video along with the caption, Zoro being Straight.

The replies were instantaneous.

Holy shit, Nami texted, that's hilarious

That's the most awkward thing I've seen since Franky wearing pants, came Usopp's text.

I just showed Franky, Robin texted, He's in tears. Can't tell if its from laughter or if it actually caused him eye damage

Unreal, Jinbei texted.

Being a 'Lover of Woman' so to speak does not seem to become you Zoro, texted Brook.

Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool, Luffy texted, along with three laughing emojis, five cry-laughing emojis, and a pizza emoji.

Chopper's response was the screaming in fear emoji.

Sanji looked up from his phone and saw Zoro glaring at him. He gave him his most innocent smile, and his glare darkened.

Almost immediately, Zoro sat up a little straighter. He crossed his legs and shifted into a position that was similar to the one Sanji was sitting in, ran a hand quickly through his hair so a few strands fell onto his forehead, and repositioned his wineglass so he was cradling it in his hand with the stem between his fingers.

Sanji pulled the camera up again and started filming.

"Women," Zoro continued, swirling his wine, "Are delicate flowers, each a beautiful and intoxicating mystery. They are life's greatest treasure, and need to be protected and treated as such. Men are nothing but mud swilling pigs when compared with the grace and majesty of women."

He glanced over at Yonji, "You asked for my type? Why? When faced with the buffet of life, does one only order the soup? Does one limit themself to only appetizers or salads? Or do you sample all, feast upon all the delectable courses life has to offer? Why have only one type of woman when every woman is a flawless masterpiece?"

"Yeah," Yonji countered, "But you're dating my sister, so I hope you're not doing a lot of sampling."

Zoro took a dramatic pause to sip his wine, "Reiju is a queen amongst peasants, a goddess amongst heathens, an angel sent from the very heavens just to show us mere mortals that perfection does exist in this world. She's a one of a kind jewel, and I am but a humble jeweler, completely entranced by her existence."

"Yeah," Niji nodded as he took a sip of his own drink, "I think I get it."

Sanji did not sound like that, thank you very much. To prove his point he sent that video in the group chat as well with the caption, I don't sound like that :/

Oh my gooooooooooooooooooooooooood, Nami texted back, Best. Christmas. Ever. I'm saving this for Reasons

That sounds exactly like you dude, texted Robin, or more likely Franky on Robin's phone.

Omg two Sanjis! O_O, came Chopper's text.

Jinbei texted a cry-laughing emoji.

I've seen couples take on each other's personality quirks and particular turns of phrase before, Brook texted, but this is certainly something else!

Sorry Luffy looks like you just lost your Best Sanji Impersonation title, texted Usopp.

What? Nooooooo! Luffy texted, That title is mine! I refuse to lose!

Luffy sent a picture of himself with a hastily sharpied swirl on his forehead by his eyebrow, his hair thrown over his right eye as he sucked on a lollipop like it was a cigarette, along with the caption, Who the hell ate all the meat?

An Exact Copy, Usopp texted.

Can't tell the difference, Nami texted.

O_O ThREE SANJIS?!, Chopper texted.

Fuck all of you, Sanji texted, then added, Except Nami

He looked up and saw Zoro smirking at him. He gave him his best glare as he settled further into his chair and took another minuscule sip of wine.

This was going to be a long night.