Hey all! Thanks to those who read or reviewed this!
So...the second chapter, I'm aware, went kinda dark.
This is the last part of the story, and it is not dark like the last one.
It takes place the night before the first chapter.
As the title suggests, this last chapter is inspired by Bowie's The Man Who Sold The World. Lyrics at the bottom like before if you happen to be interested.
Otherwise, hope you enjoy!
Warning for mention of drugs and like...a few lines of sex.
The Man Who Sold The World
The band was in full swing as Ray sat, resting his head on his hand at the empty table, knocking back his...oh, god knows what number glass of champagne.
He wasn't meaning to be a buzz kill, especially at his best friend's wedding...
But there just so happened to be another guest here that he hadn't wanted to see.
Max had warned him, and Ray understood, promising to just keep his distance and ignore him.
It's not like he ever told him what really happened between them anyway. To him, it was just an 'ugly breakup' due to... 'artistic differences'.
It had been five, coming up six years since it all ended. They hadn't seen or spoken to each other since.
He thought he could handle it. Time had moved him on, after all.
But seeing him at that church made it feel as raw and sore as if it had only happened yesterday.
He put down his glass, giving in and glancing over at him, feeling himself boil green as he watched some well-stacked blonde in a deep red bridesmaids dress draping herself on him.
...And him clearly charming the pants off her.
He scanned his eyes over him as he saw him stand up and lead whoever she was to the bar.
Time had been good to him...sort of.
He was still strikingly handsome in an unconventional way. Had his own charm.
He looked a lot thinner than he remembered...not dreadfully so, still well built, but somewhat thin a the same time.
Judging by what he reluctantly saw in papers and trashy magazines, he hadn't changed much, in that it looked like he was still using. Addicted to that and the power he'd gotten hold of.
When they were together, his company had its fingers in a lot of pies. But as he'd read a year or two ago, it'd gone and stuck a finger in the mother of all pies...
Oil.
What he had before made him look like a mere peasant compared to now.
A peasant...like him.
He let out a deep sigh as he ran his finger around the rim of his glass.
At least he was out of that life now...sure, money was a struggle and a daily concern. He worked his ass of for not much pay.
But it was honest. Unlike what he'd become when he was with him...
He still felt ashamed of himself whenever he looked back to that time. He didn't even recognise himself. He'd sold his soul for lines of white powder and a few sloppy lays.
And God knows he paid for it...
A shudder went down his spine as his mind brought him back to that night.
The insanity of their last encounter followed by the terror of having a sack shoved over his head, barely dressed and shoved in a car. Sitting in panic wondering if that was where it was all going to end for him. Only to have the sack ripped off his head as he was pushed out the car, choking on the fumes of the car exhaust as it sped away.
He'd had him thrown out at the red-light district of the city...a jab at his promiscuity, no doubt.
How he'd gotten through those initial days, he'd never know. Barely dressed, not a penny on him and being thrown out in the seediest part of town in the middle of the night with nowhere to go.
He went to the bank only to find his accounts had all been closed.
He'd sought refuge with the beautiful people he thought were his friends, only for them to act as if they didn't know him.
He couldn't bare to go crawling to his old Bladebreaker friends...let them see what he'd been reduced to.
He was left with nothing but a broken heart and crippling need for a substance he had no way of getting.
That was, until he managed to get in at a homeless shelter. Full of other people just like him. As well as a few people like Kai, just poor.
...The things he did to get his hands on a fix, he'd take with him to his grave.
Kai had said he'd ruin him. And he did.
He'd been blacklisted from everything. Took away everything he'd grown to love.
In hindsight, that was perhaps an act of mercy. Even if he hadn't meant it to be one.
After months of living in the gutter at rock bottom, the man currently dancing with his new wife came to his rescue.
To this day, he still didn't know how he'd tracked him down. Like a lot of this particular chapter in his life story, it was shrouded in unasked questions and ungiven answers.
Max brought him out of the hellhole he was living in. Brought him to his home. Made him get help, clean. After that, he helped him get a job. Helped him bring himself back to who he really was.
He'd never know how grateful he was.
If he hadn't have come...
But that was all history now.
After sinking another glass of champagne, he pushed himself out his seat, the legs scraping against the floor as his head swirled a little.
He needed some air...
He strolled himself out the bustling room and took himself to the top of the stairs leading down to the lobby.
As he began his descent, a high-pitched giggle met his ears.
He lifted his head and froze to his spot.
Well-stacked blonde latched on to the him as they came back up the stairs.
His stomach fell even further as crimson eyes met his for the first time in almost six years.
He saw his face fall as his feet continued to carry him up at a slower pace, dragged by the tipsy blonde.
As they met, he stopped. Dead silence surrounding them.
The blonde glanced between them, wondering if her new found love interest was going to introduce them.
"Who's this?" she asked in a ditsy voice.
That seemed to shake him out his daze from looking at the ghost from the past.
"...An old friend." his deep, husky voice finally answered.
Ray's brows lifted.
Friend? That came as some surprise.
He managed to tear his eyes away from him, feeling the eyes of his squeeze for the evening staring at him, waiting to be introduced.
Usually, he'd tell her to get lost. But he wanted to get laid.
He mustered up his prize winning smile and gave her his soft yet fiery eyes.
"...Why don't you go get us some drinks, hm? I'll be right up." he said in a voice so smooth it made Ray's heart flutter.
She gave him a coy, girlish smile back before peeling herself off him and taking herself up.
Silence came back as they both took each other in, both trying to compare from memory what had changed or what hadn't.
Ray gave a slight smirk.
"Been a while, huh? " he joked.
"It has..." he replied blankly.
Ray nodded, wondering what on earth he could possibly say next. His brain was giving him nothing as he got lost in those eyes he'd always adored.
"...I thought you'd died." he tried to joke with a small smirk, all the while wondering how they'd never crossed paths in all this time. As if he'd vanished off the face of the Earth, only becoming a name he sometimes saw in the media. One with no substance behind it. A phantom.
He was relieved to see a slight smirk curl at the side of his mouth.
"Me? No..."
Enjoying the almost long forgotten sound of his voice, Ray's smirk remained a few more seconds before his sense of nostalgia faded and turned more bitter. The memories of him kicking him to the curb fresh again.
"...Bet you thought the same about me, didn't you?" his voice leaked out in a low voice, looking him dead in the eyes.
He saw them glimmer with something that could perhaps be interpreted as guilt as he leaned in a little closer, not wanting to be overheard by anyone.
"You really want to bring this up here? Now?" he asked, his own voice low but calm.
Ray stuttered, tearing his eyes away from him.
"No...that's not my intent. But..." he faltered, feeling Kai tense at the 'but'.
Of course not. This was neither the time nor place.
It was just...there had never been closure.
And would he ever see him again after this?
Unlikely.
It was now or never. And he had to know.
He forced his eyes back to his, wanting to speak to them. It was the only part of him that gave him away.
"...After what happened. After all this time...did you ever wonder if I was dead or not?"
His face turned to stone while his eyes softened.
"And why would I waste my time thinking about that?" his voice rumbled out like a distant thunder.
All he could do was shrug in return.
"I guess...because you loved me once."
Even now, the past tense of that sentence stung.
The hardness in Kai's face didn't budge.
"Until you threw it all away, I did...but if you're looking for an apology, you won't find one." he bit back bitterly.
Despite the hurt that had come flooding back, he smiled slightly and shook his head again.
"I know...I owe you the apology."
Kai's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously.
"I said it then, I didn't know how it got like it did, and I still don't...I became someone else. I hurt you and treated you horribly...maybe it means nothing now, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
Kai leaned back slightly and shifted his shoulders, staying quiet for a moment.
"You're right...it means nothing now..." he said flatly as he looked him up and down. He looked like the Ray he'd known before it all went to shit. He looked healthy and vibrant.
Just as he'd hoped..
"But...I'm glad things worked out for you."
Ray's smile came back. That was more than he was expecting.
"Thank you...they did...I got myself clean and working my way up the restaurant ladder..." he added, not really sure why he'd tell him that.
As Kai nodded, Ray took a turn looking him up and down.
"...And...you?"
Kai folded his arms defensively and scoffed.
"Oh, I've done all right for myself."
Ray couldn't help but smirk. Still as smug and up his own ass as ever.
"So I've heard...you always said you'd rule the world one day."
Silence fell again as he braced himself to ask.
"...And...you're taking care of yourself?" he asked as he took in his slim and pale physique.
Kai cocked a brow.
"If you're referring our old habit, it's really none of your business."
Ray nodded immediately.
"Of course...sorry, I..." he stuttered.
He'd pushed too far.
Kai shifted and huffed.
This was uncomfortable.
This was painful.
This brought back too much that he'd tried his hardest to keep locked down.
"You don't need to worry about me..." he started after a few more moments of quiet, "I always know when to stop, where the limits are...wouldn't have gotten this far if I didn't."
Despite knowing deep down he still used, and feeling saddened by it, Ray knew he was telling the truth.
Kai would never let himself get to the state he'd gotten himself in. He always was very controlled and disciplined.
If only he'd been the same way...
If only he hadn't let himself go. Known when enough was enough.
He could have been sat on that throne, too.
Not for the money or the power, but because it would be beside him. Something he took for granted back then and stupidly cast to the wind along with his own moral compass.
He couldn't stop his eyes from watering.
He opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the familiar sound of a woman's voice calling Kai's name.
His crimson eyes pulled away from Ray and went up to the top of the stairs, cursing inwardly, but at the same time, somewhat relieved.
He gave her a nod that he was coming before looking back at Ray again.
He stared back.
Both of them hopelessly wishing to God they could wind the clock back. Instead, their time was up yet again.
Ray wanted to hug him. Or kiss him. Just for old time's sake...
Instead, he held out his hand.
His heart felt like it had just broken all over again, but he at least wanted to walk away with a sense of peace.
Kai looked down at it for a moment before taking it. His hands cold like they always were.
Cold hands, warm heart.
He always used to tell him. He never did like that.
….Screw it.
"Cold hands, warm heart." he smiled at him with a film of tears in his eyes.
They threatened to spill when he physically saw the lump catch in the other's throat.
Kai huffed a laugh back, his cold fingers still curled around his hand tightened slightly.
"God...still?"
Ray's brow furrowed as he nodded and fought to hold both his gaze and his tears.
"Still..."
His hard expression relaxed as he stared back at him for a moment before breaking the eye contact, as well as the physical, gently pulling his hand away.
He turned himself, his leg moving to resume his journey back up the stairs.
"...In another life, huh?" he said quietly before his body took him away.
Ray was caught of guard by that. Who knew something so bittersweet could cut like that.
Feeling his eyes stinging, he forced himself to breath out a slight laugh. Despite him already being several steps away from him.
"Yeh..."
Kai blew out an breath of air as he made his way to the top of the stairs, composing himself before he got back to...whoever she was.
She held out a glass and jiggled it in front of him.
"What took you so long? I missed you..." she purred.
He snatched the drink from her, tossing it back in one before painting his business smile on.
"Sorry gorgeous, old friend...been a while." he explained vaguely before feeling the a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut.
He snaked an arm around her curvaceous hips and leaned in to her ear. He knew what he needed to wash out the taste of what just happened. Thank god she was there already.
"How about we get out of here, huh?" he whispered huskily.
She grinned as she turned her face, brushing her nose with his.
"...I still have my drink..." she teased.
Kai gently took it from her hand, throwing back hers as well.
"Problem solved..."
She pouted.
"Hey...I'm thirsty..."
He let out a flirty chuckle.
"So am I..."
She giggled back and held out her hand for him to lead the way.
Meanwhile, Ray sat outside. In the dark. Just to the side of the doorway.
He wanted to go home...but he couldn't just bail on Max's wedding.
How could such a small conversation have made such a big impact?
On the bright side...when all this healed over again, as it would eventually, he could at least feel better knowing their last encounter ended on better terms...unlike the last last one...
That was something...
His ears pricked up when he heard that awful giggle again, tensing and hiding down in to the dark again as it got closer.
Within seconds, two-toned hair walked right by without even seeing him. Arm around his toy for the evening, heading towards the line of cabs.
He watched as he open the door for her before getting in himself.
The door closed. Seconds later, he was gone.
He'd probably never see him again.
He sighed heavily before heaving himself up. He had to get out of here. He couldn't sit at Max's wedding with a face like this and bring down the mood.
Max'd understand.
He made his way back up to the party, wandering aimlessly to the table through the crowd with a gazeless stare as if they weren't really there.
He picked up his jacket and looked around for Max. He was busy dancing with his wife. Naturally.
He probably wouldn't even notice, and that was fine by him.
He picked his jacket up from the back of his chair and snuck out, taking himself to the line of taxi's as Kai had minutes ago, alone.
After giving the driver the address, he slumped back in his seat, reluctantly letting his mind replay all the scenes he didn't want to watch.
Again, shame filled him at the person he'd become and the price he paid for it.
He'd survived, but thankfully, that person died a long time ago.
And Kai? Who knew.
He always knew there was a heart in there. It wasn't easy to spot, but it was there.
Finding that out was what drew him to him in the first place.
But during that time, he did get colder.
He may not have crashed as hard as he had, but he'd lost himself too, to an extent.
Had he every bounced back from it?
Or had he gotten worse as his power and fortune grew?
Again, who knew.
And he never would...
Howls of ecstasy echoed through the musty, sweaty air of the hotel room while the headboard knocked against the wall.
Now he'd fulfilled his duty, he didn't have to hold back. Pushing her legs back farther and wider to get in deeper, he thrust harder and faster to get himself off and be done with it.
With a deep grunt through his teeth and one final, deep thrust, the white flash of orgasm washed over him, giving his mind the temporary numbness it needed.
He slumped on top of her for a second, letting her legs down from his arms as they both panted and recovered.
Her hands came up, brushing her hand through his sweat-matted bangs as she lifted her head to kiss him.
He turned his away as her lips met his, rolling off her.
It didn't seem to bother her as she flopped her arms above her head.
"Wow..." she praised with a sloppy smile on her face.
He ignored her and reached for his cigarettes, sparking it up and leaning back against the headboard in a world of his own.
She sat herself up, reaching over the bed and pulling up the bottle of champagne they'd had brought up to the room.
She held it out to him.
"Drink?"
He shook his head.
"Suit yourself..." she shrugged before putting the bottle to her mouth and swigging it.
She made several more attempts to make small talk as she supped on the bottle, eventually giving up and rolling over, letting the alcohol take her to sleep.
He couldn't be bothered to wake her up and kick her out. Just after or the morning after, either one was always a pain in the ass getting them to leave. He wanted some quiet for tonight.
He lit yet another cigarette, slowly blowing out a trail of smoke.
He hadn't anticipated seeing him would have been that hard. Max warned him, and begged him to come anyway.
Idiotic as he thought he was for tying himself down like this, he really did respect him. Max was one of the very few people he considered a real friend.
He never pried or judged about what went on between them.
Even after he'd called and told him Ray was in trouble, asking him to go get him and take him in.
He'd covered the rehab bill, of course.
After seeing him tonight, it seemed Max had kept his word and not told him.
Those first weeks, he really had intended to ruin him, as he'd promised.
Those first weeks, all his did was fuel his rage with the same thing that started that whole mess. Drugs.
After a solid binge, he made himself come off. He wasn't addicted. He was a controlled user.
Sure, the comedown was rough, but so was having your heart ripped out.
He replayed that whole night over and over again in his head.
One thing really stuck out.
He'd told Ray he'd ruin him.
Ray replied, "You already have."
...He was right.
He was the one who opened that door for him, pushed him in.
He was the one who hadn't pulled him out before it was too late.
He'd taken the only person he'd ever loved and thrown him to a place he didn't belong...and left him there.
He had ruined him.
Yes, he was hurt and angry. Ray still cheated. Multiple times. But he wasn't entirely at fault.
Like he wasn't entirely innocent.
It took a while for his hatred to simmer down enough to be rational.
Ray was better off without him.
Ray wasn't meant to live like that.
He loved him, but they were worlds apart.
He'd made the mistake of thinking giving him everything he wanted showed love.
But really, the most loving thing he could do was let him go and never look back.
Pulling him out the gutter was his apology, even if he'd never even know it was him.
He glanced at the thing next to him in the bed as she twitched suddenly. He'd almost forgotten she was there.
He snuffed out his cigarette and carefully got out of bed. He needed to wash the smell of her off him.
He flicked the bathroom light on and stepped up to the sink, glancing in the mirror as he turned the water on, face to face with himself.
God...he looked pathetic.
He wondered if he still loved Ray. All he needed to do was look in the mirror to see the answer, apparently.
He cupped his hands and filled them with the warm water before splashing his face.
This was stupid.
He'd done his part, getting him out of trouble.
Years had passed.
It was water under the bridge now. It didn't matter.
Ray wasn't meant for that lifestyle, just like he wasn't meant for that kind.
He wasn't meant for the whole...romance thing.
He rubbed his damp hands over his wet face before pulling them down, looking back in the mirror, willing his face to exude some strength.
He was the ruler of an empire, for God's sake.
He'd gotten far. Really far. All on his own.
He'd taken things further than his stupid, small-minded grandfather could have even dreamed of.
A glint came back to his eyes.
And with some of the things he had up his sleeve, the world hadn't seen anything yet.
End
We passed upon the stair
We spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there
He said I was his friend
Which came as a surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone
A long long time ago
Oh no, not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world
I laughed and shook his hand
And made my way back home
I searched for form and land
For years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazeless stare
We walked a million hills
I must have died alone
A long, long time ago
Who knows?
Not me
I never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world
Who knows?
Not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world