Feferi was having trouble sleeping. Sometimes, late at night, she'd run the bath and sit in steaming water until it became lukewarm. She was stuck in a rut of indecisiveness. When would be the best time to return home, she wondered. The longer she stayed, the more her mother's anger would grow. These thoughts pranced through her mind when she was in these baths, clarity coming to her. It seemed so clear when she was submerged in water, the water feeling smooth and natural on her body.

The the water would cool, and she'd be stuck once more wondering what she should do. Sollux had nothing more to say to her. He had given his best advice, and Feferi knew that pushing him would make him feel guilty.

She got to experience times of joy that made her want to stay. Sollux was trying to drive, but he got incredibly nervous behind the wheel. Feferi couldn't blame him; she had been the same way, and Sollux only acted like he didn't care. Mr. Captor would try and take him out driving every weekend. Feferi would come with them, thinking back to when she first started getting the hang of driving. Sure, she had many months to wait before she got her license, but she had practiced quite a bit.

She liked playing video games with Mituna. She was bad enough at the games to give Mituna and honest chance at winning.

She liked how often she and Sollux would walk to visit Aradia, or Karkat, or, on the odd occasion, there other friends.

But she hated how Meenah refused to text her back. Her calls went to voicemail. Karkat would check in to see if she had information. He would get pissy with her lack of knowledge, and occasionally she would snap back at him. Kanaya would intervene eventually. That made Feferi feel guilty. Kanaya always seemed to be getting herself involved with ashen relations, and Feferi felt no hatred towards Karkat.

She hated how Vriska knew more about Meenah than she did. Sometimes, Vriska would message her, just an update that Meenah was safe, and spending more and more time at the Serket household.

Everyone seemed sluggish. Karkat was doing his damned best, but nobody had heard anything from the Striders in a week. John was asking if he should stop by the Strider residence. Jade's cousin, Jake, was going mad worrying about Dirk.

Now, Feferi was in the bath. It was two in the morning. The water was close to lukewarm. Her phone had been buzzing for the past few minutes. She hadn't bothered with it before, but now she checked it. Surprise surprise, it was Vriska.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]!
AG: Heeeeeeeey Feferi
CC: )(ey Vriska. W)(at's t)(e matter?
AG: Did you check your phone? Meenah tried calling you like 8 times
CC: Sorry, I was in the bat)(.
CC: W) (appened?
AG: Nothing 8ad. She got sick of your psycho mom and stopped 8y to stay at casa de Serket
CC: T)(ere goes our spy…
AG: Hey, she wasnt really spying on us 8efore, so nothing gained nothing lost
CC: T)(anks.
CC: Okay, I'm gonna go and try to figure out t)(is mess.
CC: Make sure Meena)( doesn't do anyt)(ing stupid.
AG: Keep an eye on your tooooooootally hot sister? No pro8lem
CC: 38P
cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]!

Feferi got out of her bath, the air nipping her skin. Shivering, she got dressed. It was now or never. She had to shake Sollux for a full minute before he came to. "What?" he muttered, eyes still closed.

"I need to leave, Sollux."

That woke him up a bit more. He opened his eyes, the brilliant red and blue orbs bringing faint light to the darkness surrounding his face. "Leave?"

"Yes, leave," Feferi said. "This might be my only chance. I think my mother might be too upset to be mad at me running away."

"FF, no," Sollux said. "This is dangerous."

"I know what I need to do," Feferi said. "Just trust me. I would never try to hurt you."

Sollux stared at her as though she were a stranger. Feferi was afraid he would yell and stop her. Then, he closed his eyes. "Just leave now before I try to stop you. And stay safe." Feferi hugged him, then shoved everything in her bag. Still without money, she couldn't call a cab, and settled for the long walk.

The summer weather made the nights warm and mucky. To a warm blood, this had to be hell. Feferi put her hair up in a messy bun as she walked, the usual nighttime traffic driving by. The city was red. The car lights, the stop lights, all layering the city with a dull red shade.

Druggies and kids in over their heads walked past her. The homeless slept in cardboard boxes, their few belonging lying next to them. Prostitutes, some girls no older than her, beckoned and called. "Hey Miss Highblood," one called, as his friends swished their hips, posing like they were in a shitty porn.

She passed a small corner store. When she was a fair distance from it, gunshots rang through the air. A human dressed in black rushed past her. She reached for him in a pathetic attempt to stop him. In the distance, a siren went off, but she doubted the police would make it in a reasonable time.

As she got closer to the upper class neighborhood, the amount of homeless and prostitutes decreased. Kids her age, too rich with too much time on their hands, were smoking pot and dipping into sopor and popping pills. A rowdy group of trolls and humans alike were chugging beer like it was the nectar of life. Feferi stopped to watch when one of the humans insulted a troll. The troll jumped on him without a second thought. The human screamed, but one of his friends muffled him. They scratched and punched and bit until blood dripped to the street. Feferi walked away, sick to her stomach. She wished she followed Meenah's guidelines to living like a thug: always keep a weapon on you. She wanted to save the poor kid.

Finally, Feferi came to her front door. It felt like a thousand years since when she was last here. Tentatively, she knocked.

Her mother opened the door. She didn't look stressed. She didn't look tired. She look normal, terrifyingly beautiful.

"Hey, Mom," Feferi said sheepishly.