MamaChele81 - I love that you like my story so far and I hope this is also of your liking.

I don't own Teen Wolf only my story and OC

Chapter 6 – memories

The first memory that resurfaces in both their minds was from the summer they spend together in Derek's old family home. It was a full moon and Derek was in the basement of the house and currently trying to control the change. But even with the many moons he already had, the 12-year-old still doesn't have an anchor. Nothing worked, everything he tried, backfired somehow.

So he locked himself in the basement alone, because the other pack members even his younger sister Cora have better control than him and he doesn't want to be a danger to anyone besides himself. He already can feel the moon as he puts on the chains to hold him in place as the door to the basement opens and the little girl Lexi, who stayed with them since two weeks till the end of the summer, enters.

Shocked and panicked he looks at her. "Lexi what are you doing here, go back up. I don't want to hurt you."

Instead of answering she steps directly in front of him, touches his cheek with her hand to calm him a bit as she says. "Der you will not hurt me."

Her hand on his face calmed him in a way not even his mother could. That shocked him, but what shocked him more is that this little girl is taking the chains away. Is she suicidal? He asks himself. "Are you out of your mind? What are you doing?"

Stoical she looks at him and still takes the chains away and says. "I don't believe in caging something to control it, that doesn't work."

"Yeah, but as you said it I don't have control, I can hurt you." he tells her in a hard voice. The last thing he wants is to hurt her. She became such an important part to him in the short time of only two weeks she was here. She was like his best friend, someone he could tell everything to and wasn't part of this family at the same time. He trusts her explicitly.

She looks stern at him and answers. "No, you won't. I trust you."

"But …" he tries to make her see reason, but she is a stubborn little thing.

Instead of pointing out the obvious of why he should trust her and that she knows what she is doing, she says something else. "Look into my eyes, concentrate on me, my heartbeat, my smell, my eyes." with that she flashes him her green eyes.

He doesn't know why, but that calmed him more than before. So he trusts her and does as she says. What he doesn't know at this point is, that she is the protector and as such knows how she has to act with feral supernatural beings. She never is or was scared of supernatural beings that others consider dangerous. She is more in tune with them and that is why she knows how to calm them down.

But something else happens in that moment that neither of them could have seen coming. Considering that they are not even teenagers and didn't think about love or mating. But as they look into each other eyes a bond is established or formed. Their inner wolfs recognizes the other as what they are.

At the same time they say. "Mate." Both are shocked by this revelation. Neither of them ever thought that they would find their other half. Even for werewolves finding and having a mate is a rare thing, but add to the factor that Alexa is the protector it almost becomes an implausibility.

The reactions to that revelation differ. Derek is happy about it and with that she becomes his anchor so that he can control the change. Alexa on the other hand is scared, she never wanted a guardian, because she believes that being with the protector can only be a bad thing. She doesn't want to cause the peoples she loves pain. Even if she doesn't want to fall for Derek, she can see herself falling for him easily.

For the moment she doesn't know what to do. Instead she concentrates on the problem at hand and that is the control of Derek. But one glance at him tells her that he can control it now, because he used her as an anchor. That is so not good; she would leave in more than a month to go home again. She was here only for a learning visit and nothing more.

But before she can say anything to that, he says as if he could read her mind. "I want to come with you." He knows after finding your mate it is almost impossible to stay away from him or her without hurting yourself. He knows that she has a bright future ahead of her and as a simple beta in his family's pack he isn't needed like the next generation Alpha, his sister Laura.

She doesn't want to talk about it now. She has to think about it. She doesn't want to cause him pain, because of him being her mate. "Let's talk about it tomorrow, after the moon." Considering the fact that the moons heightens the emotions for both of them and before they say something that could hurt the other it is better to wait until it is over.

Despite having an anchor now, he still feels the effect of the moon and sees her point. "Ok, we talk about it tomorrow."

With that the memory ends for both of them. Before they were assaulted with another one they stay in the same positions like in the past and say the same thing to each other. "Mate."

The next memory happens at the next day, together both kids search for Derek's mother Talia to tell her about the happenings of the night before. Alexa wanted to talk to her alone, because the idea she had during the night probably will hurt him and she doesn't want that. So far from it, she wants to keep him save, even if it means keeping herself away from him.

But Derek is a stubborn mule, if he wants to be and follows her as her first way after the moon was to his mother's study. She knocks and hopes that she is already awake, because let's not forget that the full moon takes his doll an everyone, who is affected by it, even seasoned Alphas like Talia. But she wasn't disappointed as she hears from inside. "Enter."

With a sigh Alexa opens the door and let herself as well as Derek in. After she closes the door and takes a seat in front of Talia's desk. "We need to talk." she tells the Alpha in a hard voice. Derek is a little bit hurt by her tone, because it doesn't sound as exited, as she should be.

"About what?" Talia wants to know.

"Derek and I are mates."

Now the Alpha was perplex, which is a feed in itself, because Talia normally doesn't got blindsided. But this revelation did just that. "Are you telling me that my son is the guardian?" she asks her.

That bewildered Derek, because he didn't know, what his mother is talking about, but a glance at his mate tells him that she knows. "Yes." was Alexa's short answer.

"Wow." was Talia's answer. A smile on her face tells them that she is happy about this.

That breaks Alexa's heart more, because she knows that she will be hurt because of her suggestion as well. "I want that you take that memory away so that we forget that we are mates." Alexa demands straightforwardly.

"What?" both of the other werewolves ask and Alexa can hear the hurt in their voices.

A tear runs down her face as she looks at Talia and explains. "Talia you know that I am the protector, but what nobody knows, not even my parents, is that I will die at a young age just like my forerunners. It is not a question of if, but when and I don't want anyone that I can love and maybe loves me someday go through such a pain. It hurts that my parents will experience that and I don't want Derek to feel such pain." she tells them.

That warms Derek's heart again, because her first expression was like a slap to his face. He asked himself what he had done that his mate doesn't want him, but hearing this makes it a bit better. But to hear that she will die no matter what, still hurts.

"How do you know that?" Talia wants to know. His mother always wants to know everything before she decides. Considering that choices have consequences is a smart move, that is, why you shouldn't make them in a rush way.

Alexa gets up and starts pacing. She never before has told anyone, about this. She didn't want to scare the people she loves and at the same time it also isn't easy to explain. The others let her gather her thoughts, before she starts explaining. With a sigh she starts. "I know it; because I have the memories of everyone that come before me … what the legend didn't mention is that I am reincarnated, every time I didn't fulfill my task I die to be born again 300 or so years later, with the memories to help me not to make their mistakes. I know I will make new ones and I am not that impudent to think that I can do what they before me couldn't do. Even with me being different from all the others."

After that there was silence Talia and Derek need time to process it. It was Talia, who found her words first as she asks. "How are you different from the others?"

"It is not so much that makes me different, but I am the first one with a real name … I can form a connection with other supernatural beings even see through their eyes." was Alexa's short answers. To others it may not see much, but in her comparison to the others and their memories she knows how much that matters.

"You don't think that that will make a difference?" Talia asks her.

"I don't know, but I don't want to risk it. It would kill me that he knows that I am going to die and stays with me, because of me being his mate instead of living his life." she tells her.

For the first time Derek gives his input to the topic. "Don't I get a say in this matter." He looks at her with a hurt expression. "Lexi it is my life as well." he takes her hand as he says. "And I want to spend it with you." He never was so sure about something like he was in that moment and hopes that she sees it.

But she has other ideas, even with his expression and his promise that he would be happy to be with her. She doesn't have it in her heart to bind him to her at this age, only because she is his mate. They both need time to live their lives and learn some things, maybe they will meet again so that they can become an item. She cares his cheek and says. "Derek we are young … we haven't lived yet and I don't want that you bound yourself to me without living. You know after I am dead you will not find happiness with anyone else and probably die after me because of a broken heart. This way you can live, I want that you live for yourself and not for me." With tears in her eyes she finishes her statement.

It breaks his heart, but he can understand where she is coming from. She does it to give him a life and that makes her more attractive to him. That is why mates are compatible with each other on every level, because they always put the other one first. He would be happy to be with her, but he learnt fast that she is stubborn and thinks that she doesn't deserve happiness. He would give in for now, because he believes if faith wants them to be together, they will find each other. He has hope, so he nods.

As a thank you she gives him a kiss on the cheek and whispers so that only he could hear it. "I hope that you will forgive me someday."

He may be hurt, but as different as it may sound, but for him there is nothing to forgive. She made a choice for both of them, because she wants that they have a life and he knows that she only tries to protect their hearts. So he takes her hand and squeezes it and tells her with his eyes that everything is ok.

Both of them look at his mother and with a heavy heart she nods in compliance, because there is nothing else she can do, but to accept their wish. Then she gets up, does as they asked of her and took away their memories.

With a gasp they come out of their memories and look at each other. Both of them were crying without noticing it, as they look in the others face. Alexa sees what she has done only to protect their hearts, she gets nauseous and without thinking storms away. She runs to the bathroom connected to his room.

For a moment Derek simply stands there and watches her run away from him, again. His heart is hurt after what he saw, but he still can see, why she did what she did. But now a decade later he is determinate to not let her go again and he will do everything he can to keep her alive. But first they have to clear the air that everything is okay between them and that he understands her still.

Before he can follow her, Sarah walks in the kitchen and asks him. "Daddy is Mommy ok?"

Derek wipes away his tears immediately; he doesn't want her to see him like that, before he turns to her. Then walks to her, ruffles her hair, goes down on her eyelevel and says. "Mommy and Daddy need some time for themselves to work some things out. Can you play in the living room for now?" he asks her.

"Ok." was the only answer she gives him. So with a kiss on her forehead he gets up and walks to his room. That is where he hopes to find her. As he enters his bedroom and sees that the door to the bathroom closed, he knows that he has found her. He walks to the door and knocks, not that he can't take it down with his strength easily, but that would send the wrong message. Especially because he wants that she comes to him and opens up to him.

Nothing happens after the knock, he only hears her sobs increasing. It breaks his heart that she was hurt, even by her own faults, but still he needs her to know that he wants her. "Baby." to call her that comes naturally for him, even if he normally wasn't the endorsement kind of guy with his usual partners, but with her all cards are off the table. "Please let me in. … Please listen to my heartbeat and believe me … I am not mad at you."

He hopes that she believes him. For a moment he holds his breath until the door clicks opens. With that he lets out the breath he kept in. He opens the door and steps in. Seeing her on the floor with tears running down her cheeks her knees to her upper body weeping, he simply wants to hold her. So in a swift move he is on the floor beside her and pulls her into his arms, so that she is in his lap and presses her face into his chest.

To calm her down, he brushes through her hear and says. "Shh, Baby, everything is alright. shh." It takes some time until she is calm enough and her tears stopped.

With tearful eyes she looks at him and says. "I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but nothing has changed I still will die and …"

But before she can go on he says. "No, I will not let it happen. Do you hear me you will survive it and I will make it possible." she wants to protest, but he wasn't done. "I not only your mate, but I am also your guardian, your equal and I will always put you first. Only Sarah and David have the same place as you in my heart." his heartbeat is steady, because he doesn't lie. He means everything he is telling her.

"You don't know if can make that happen." she tells him. She would do nothing more than have a life with him, but her future almost is written in stone.

But Derek Hale is one stubborn mule and he fought an Alpha pack, the hunter invasion and so much more. He knows what he can do and he will do this, even if it is the last thing he does. But he wants, no he needs her on the same page as him, that she gives this a chance and doesn't give up on them, before they even started. "Nevertheless I will do everything I can to keep you save and I want you to be on board with this." he points with his fingers between them to emphasizes what he means to her. "I want you, it is as simple as that and I want you to you want me as well."

Vulnerability was clear as day written on his face and she hates to be the reason to see that. She wants to give him something back. "Of course I want that, I want nothing more, but …"

Instead of saying something he kisses her again. Just like the first kiss it was full of longing, passion and trust. After a moment he breaks away from her and connects their foreheads. "No buts Baby. If you want this then let us try. Even We … even You are allowed to have a life so let us live it … together." his voice was hard.

She looks into his beautiful eyes and she knows that she is done for. Even if she wants to protect him and herself from losing the other, it will not change the fact that she wants him. So with that she says. "Ok, but don't expect too much of me." She knows that he is way more experienced than her. Not only in matters of sex. Surprisingly sex doesn't scare her, no it is the relationship part that scares her, where he has also more experience than her.

With a smile he says. "We will take it slow, Baby and start with a date." he tells her, because he knows that she is inexperienced and even if he wouldn't tell her that, but he and his inner wolf like that. But in one point he will not budge. "The only thing I really want is to fall asleep and waking up with you in my arms." he tells her sincerely.

"Ok." was her short answer, how can she say no, if he looks so happy at the prospect of having her in his arms, so she kisses him with fervor, just like he kissed her back.

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