AN: Can I just say thank you to every single person who took the time out of their day to review – it may be a few simple words but to me it really means the world. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Just a quick note for those interested - I do work full time, sometimes I only ever get 1 day off a week which is just a day to rest but I haven't forgotten this story. I do intend to carry it on towards the end. So thank you all for or patience and sticking with this story 3
I thought it would be better if I posted a rough timeline of events so it is easier to dive in without being confused which includes the events before Harry leaves Grimmauld Place.
June 1996 - Harry is possessed by Voldemort and in the following weeks the baby begins to form.
August 1996 - Harry is picked up from the Dursleys, there is significant swelling which is noticed. The start of Harry being confined to Number 12.
April 1997- The Baby is born early
September 1997 - Harry finally leaves after he was warned on entering Hogwarts due to danger.
In my story Harry is 17, however, due to him missing events from his 6th year, many things haven't come to pass such as Sirius's death and Harry learning about Horcruxes. It is essentially AU after OoTP.
Chapter 2: The Troublesome Little Backstory that Started it All…
After the events of Ministry of Magic, the effects of Voldemort's possession have nulled down to a gentle tingling along his body. He didn't mention the after effects though – especially since his injuries seemed almost childlike compared to the damages his friends had sustained for him. Ron's welts where the brain indented him could be seen a foot away, Hermione's ribs was still painful enough that she could hardly move. And although both Neville and Ginny had their injuries taken care of in a flick of wand, Harry couldn't help but feel sorry – doubly so when he realized that Neville had come face to face with Bellatrix. His friends had waved his apologies away, laughed it off but Harry still felt sorry that he caused this, and he himself couldn't bear to look in his friend's eyes again knowing he hurt them so.
Almost losing Sirius in the Department of Mysteries had been an eye opener of sorts for Harry. Before he didn't really contact the older man, just replied to his godfather's concerns and taking him for granted as it were. Now he just felt this constant worry, and the need to check up on Sirius grew the longer he put it off. When he finally gathered enough courage to ask McGonagall for permission to use her fireplace, Grimmauld Place was empty. And it was a rather gleeful Kreacher who informed him rather manically.
"Ugly traitorous master had left with wolf. Left far away he did. Mistress was far pleased when we told her, good riddance she said!"
And after making sure that this wasn't Kreacher talk for Sirius being kidnapped,
"Master took those dirty clothes with him! Kreacher heard filthy wolf talking for days to leave my mistress house."
Really, all Harry could do was say a rather bleak goodbye to the mad elf before removing his head from the fireplace. Soot still dripping a little on the carpet as Harry sat there, a little bewildered that Sirius hadn't even told him he was leaving. It wasn't as if Sirius had to say anything at all but Harry would have thought that the events at the Ministry of Magic had made them closer than ever. And if not Sirius, surely Remus could have sent an owl of a new address or someway of contacting them.
As he walked down the halls of Hogwarts, the tingling he felt amplified a little, his legs becoming shaky as he tried to hurry his steps past the gawking students. There was a small part in Harrys head that felt completely smug at the fact that everyone now knows he was speaking the truth all along, and that the Ministry had finally revealed their true colours in hiding that Voldemort was in actual fact, back. However, a large part of him just felt strangely pitiful. Not one person had apologized to him – he didn't expect a full-on apology but some acknowledgement that their shunting of him throughout the year was unfounded. In the end it didn't really matter though, five years he had been at this school and it was not the first time he was treated like a ghost and then back to a saviour again.
~~break~~break~~break~~
The journey back to Kings Cross was a weird one. He wasn't one to get nauseous during a ride but today, his stomach heaved and his heart beat rose as he tried to read his usual text books. Even something simple as reading his collectors card from the chocolate frogs caused him discomfort. So instead he blearily watched as the scenery went by, his head turning in a while when someone ran past their apartment. It wasn't until an hour in until his eyes caught Cho Chang's as she talked with her friend, the words snitch still clearly visible – he felt no remorse for that, nor the remorse on how he broke up with her. His eyes hardened a little when the black-haired girl made a gesture to open his compartment, his small shake of his head must have clued her that he didn't want her presence as she retracted her hand quickly. Walking hastily away with a final look back.
Harry let out a large sigh, aware that his friends saw the exchange and appreciated it when they solemnly kept quiet. Hermione simply patting him on the shoulder whilst Ron loudly initiated a conversation away from Cho Chang. Neville timidly bringing up a new plant species he was looking forward to buying whilst Luna hummed her way through the Quibbler. The rustling of the pages lulling him into a light slumber.
When they finally arrived at the station, Harry had to cling a little to the walls of the walkway, using the excuse of the hundreds of students clambering to the exits as he felt more and more nauseous, the tingling becoming more like pins and needles than anything else. A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder startling the small boy into falling dangerously face first to the floor before he was held by non-other than Neville. The taller boy simply grabbed his hand before shoving his way through the throngs of students. From what Harry could see, Luna didn't have any trouble whatsoever in following them, she didn't even stumble as many feet were stepped on and clothes were accidently grabbed. He supposed Luna has always been odd in that sort of way, she almost seemed distant from reality so much so she was just merely floating her way casually through the masses.
When they finally made their way down to the exit, shoes obnoxiously stamping across the platform, he saw that there was already a group of people waiting for him. A mixture of happiness and hurt swelled within him when he realized Sirius and Remus weren't there. He hid it as bet he could as he greeted the Weasley's and Hermione's parents, waved a goodbye in Neville's direction and saw Luna's blonde hair disappearing within the crowds - Harry vowed to at least send her a letter. When he saw the members of the Order he felt a little reassured that he might be going home with a member.
Instead he felt more dread when he realized that they were only here to talk to the Dursleys. A mixture of shame and embarrassment crept upon him. The fact that not only the Order of the Phoenix knew about his treatment but was trying to fix it for him wasn't really a pleasant feeling. Although the Dursleys haven't really bothered him in a year, it still wasn't a home situation he was comfortable in telling. He tried to hide his mortification whilst Vernon turned blue in the face. If anything, this might make his living arrangements a little harder. Being ignored is fine up to a point, being entirely dismissed as an existence was absolutely pitiful.
So, it was absolutely predictable that the first thing Vernon did when they reached home was pull him aside and in simple terms, ordered him to write nice things when talking to the Order or face the consequences.
"I won't have freaks visiting my house boy!"
"They won't even visit, they'll just watch over the house for a few days"
Vernon seemed to almost faint at that, his face getting red as his neck disappeared completely under his suit,
"I will not allow your kind to litter around like watchdogs around my house!"
"I don't have a choice either!"
A finger levelled threatening in his face,
"If I see anything, anything untoward towards my family, you are out! Out of this house! Understand!"
Harry glared balefully at his uncle, gritting out "perfectly" before sprinting upstairs with his trunk and Hedwig.
And that was how the whole month of July panned out, the only time Harry ever saw the Dursley's was when he went downstairs to eat with them, other than that he spent his time indoors with the curtains closed – the complete opposite of last summer. There were a few correspondences with his friends and also Dumbledore, but none from Sirius which had started to not only confuse Harry but also feel dejected. He was desperate to pen something to his godfather, though he ultimately chickened out – if Sirius didn't want him to know how he was doing than that means he didn't want to be bothered. And Harry wasn't going to bother him.
At the end of July Harry received his usual sweets from friends and Mrs Weasleys cooking. Though he appreciated immensely, he felt more nauseas the more he smelt the home cooked tarts and minces. His stomach churring unpleasantly at the thought of eating but another day on Aunt Petunia's god-awful diet had him swallowed down a few bites. His mouth grateful for some decent food whilst his stomach fought at the thought. It wasn't until later that evening that he regretted his decision over the toilet seat, throwing up his meagre three days of food.
July passed into August and with it comes a conundrum in the form of Dudley Dursley. Ever since he came back from Hogwarts, the bigger boy hardly said a word to him which was expected. Dudley however, also chose to stay home for the holidays which was unexpected. He didn't much bother the smaller boy so Harry ignored him as well as Petunia though sometimes Harry caught his cousin stealing glances at him. Almost like he wanted to say something to him, though what, Harry didn't know.
It wasn't until a few days into August when Harry noticed something wrong with his body. The tingling his body wasn't gone per se, but the after effects of his possession was mostly gone except for a few areas in which Harry was still red in the face to actually examine. But as he was cleaning Hedwig's cage his body bumped into the drawer, namely a stomach was bumping into the drawer to the dresser. And all Harry could do was stare nonplussed at his stomach before sprinting to the bathroom where the large mirror was located, barely locking the door behind him as he took of his t shirt. Now Harry wasn't vein per se but he did like that he was skinny, after watching Dudley grow up in all the wrong places made him not want to share any similarities with his cousin at all. The fact that there was now a prominent bulge on his own body was a little too jarring for Harry to consider, especially since he couldn't even remember the last time he gained so much weight in so little time.
The issue of his weight still weighed heavily on his mind when the Order finally picked him up the next day. So much so that he deliberately put on Dudley's baggiest jumper to try and hide it. Though Harry felt it was all for nothing when Moody's electric blue eye swivelled up and down his form, x-raying him as he held out his arm to side apparate.
As soon as Harry's feet landed on solid ground his whole body trembled as it struggled to hold his nausea in. He took in big gulps as Kingsley performed a sweep of the area and Tonks transformed into her standard appearance of pink hair. It was only then that Harry realized he was standing next to Number 12 Grimmauld Place and a feeling of dread settled within him of spending a summer in the dark, depressing Black ancestral home.
~~break~~break~~break~~
It was definitely a lonely summer. Dumbledore had only come once to explain that he was to stay in the house whilst the order took shifts to 'protect him'. But when the first week of August passed, it was obvious that it was just a repeat of last year where Dumbledore didn't want Harry to wander anywhere lest he be kidnapped. And whilst Harry could understand Dumbledore's concerns, he wasn't exactly happy with still being treated like a child. Nevertheless, Harry really couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He essentially had the house to himself which meant he could literally do whatever he wanted. Whilst only a portion of time was spent in the library, he was far from studying for his summer assignments. Instead he delved into fiction, into constellations, into the fickle wars of Cornish pixies and bowtruckles which brought much laughter from the bespectacled boy. He also had a go in the garden, though Harry deemed it a lost cause when he saw the amount of magical plants that were entwined with one another. Still, that didn't stop him from reading the illustrative guide to wizarding household spells to somehow get his bedroom a little cleaner – Harry even ventured down to the hallway to tidy it just a little but to no avail.
By the middle of August, Harry was getting seriously worried about what was going on. He had virtually no contact with Dumbledore, and although his friends were keeping him company by owls, it wasn't enough. It was lonely to be in a house by himself, the Order members tended to keep to themselves, with the exception of Mad Eye Moody. The man hardly every took his eye off him, the electric blue still swirling up and down his body whilst Alastor interrogated him on the dangers of wand polishing. It was strange but Harry dismissed it as Mad eye being absolutely paranoid though he made sure to keep a wide birth whenever he was in the Auror's presence.
It wasn't the only thing Harry was worried about. By now he should have been getting this year's booklist and school supplies. He also should have gone to Diagon Alley to pick up some new uniform and clothes for the new academic year. When he attempted to talk to Tonks on the rare instance she was in the house, she just simply shrugged it off.
"Weren't your booklists late last summer?" she enquired, her hair turning a duller pink as she relaxed on the sofa,
"Well yeah" Harry had honestly forgotten about that "But I just thought maybe you might have heard something from Dumbledore about it?"
Tonks took a large swig of butterbeer before she decided to speak "I honestly don't know anything Harry," here she gave a sad smile to the young man "If I'm being honest with you we haven't seen too much of Dumbledore these past few weeks either, just sit tight yeah."
"Of course." For lack of anything to say, Harry just quietly sat down with the unusually sombre woman.
But still Harry worried. It seemed a little suspicious that this was the week that Ron and Hermione have not written to him and that most of the order was - for all intents and purposes – avoiding him. He was honestly debating on weather to go straight to Dumbledore and write him a letter when said man decided to stop by Number 12.
"Harry." the aging man was all but jovial as he stepped inside the front door. His robes a bright magenta colour with a bright blue hat situated above his half moon glasses.
"Headmaster" Harry really couldn't help but smile back at the man, their last argument in the office all but forgotten as he felt calmer then he had in weeks,
"I hope you are doing well my dear boy?"
"Erm..." here Harry had to pause, he wasn't sure how he was doing at the moment and it must have clearly shown on his face as Dumbledore stared at him over his spectacles, a solemn expression casting over his face,
"I'm sorry you had to be kept here Harry," he began gently "It seems I have already broken my word about repeating past mistakes."
"It's okay Professor, I understand." And Harry did, perhaps more than anyone.
"Thank you, Harry," A small smile was sent his way in which Harry responded in kind.
"Err... not to be rude professor but what are you doing here?"
"Ah," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily at the question, "Well to cut a long story short Harry, we seem to be missing a vital part of education this year and it simply cannot be remiss."
Harry was honestly clueless about what that meant and thought better not to ask.
"If you wouldn't mind Harry, I would like for you to take a short walk with me"
Said walk turned out to be one hell of day for Harry as he tried to convince Slughorn to take up the teaching post at Hogwarts, a little put off that he was merely used as a trophy to entice the pot-bellied wizard into teaching again. Though from what Dumbledore had told him, doing this would be saving Slughorn the stress of being on the run from Death Eaters. And whilst that was a noble cause Harry was half-heartedly behind, his own reasons of wanting Slughorn in Hogwarts was a selfish one. Knowing that the retired professor was once his mother's teacher made Harry hunger for more stories about her. Hopefully this year he could learn more than ever about his parents, all the small anecdotes, the little pranks they might have done. Anything is better than knowing none at all. So, he was in rather high spirits when it was time to bid farewell to the greying professor.
It was evening when Harry and Dumbledore finally arrived at 12 Grimmauld Place, but instead of entering, Dumbledore led the small boy to a simple park bench within the park,
"Sir?"
"Ah Harry, I hope you wouldn't mind if I had a small chat with you, in the privacy of the night air if you wouldn't mind,"
"Oh, what about?" Harry was a little confused when Dumbledore merely furrowed his eyebrows, also looking quizzically back at the teenager,
"To be frank Harry, I am not entirely sure myself." Dumbledore said "Alastor had been observing you these past few weeks-"
"-Yeah, I know sir. He's kind of … blatant about it."
Dumbledore smiled at that "That he is," his smile saddened a little as he seemed lost in thought again,
"Sir?"
A sigh escaped from the wizened mouth "I'm sorry Harry but there is no gentle way of putting it, these past few weeks Alastor had been keeping an eye on you just in case. You see, possession of a human soul can have quite alarming effects. I was worried for some time that you may be experiencing any ramifications of when Voldemort had possessed you. It seemed after you left my office you were right as rain.
Harry frowned at this "Hermione mentioned something like that as well. But honestly Professor, I haven't really felt anything too unusual with me. Ron said that it could maybe do with my scar?" Harry shrugged at this, "I mean, were already connected right, perhaps that's why the normal symptoms haven't shown up."
"Yes, I had thought this too, and yet, it seems that magic may have decided on a different type of way to manifest a side effect. It is really quite an unusual case."
"What do you mean?"
There was regret in Dumbledore's eyes, "Alastor even had his eye examined just in the slightest chance it was acting up. But there is no denying it Harry," Here Dumbledore sighed, "You have a small human child growing inside of you."
~~break~~break~~break~~
It took Harry a few weeks to get it in his head that he was actually pregnant with a child. It was mind boggling as it was heart wrenching. He barely had his life intact, he just turned 16 and he still had a Dark Lord after him. How on earth was he going to have a baby? Harry was ashamed to say that he had lost control again in front of Dumbledore, a person who had already saw him as a kid had seen him act like a child when he threw the biggest tantrum to date. And although the headmaster seemed understanding and compassionate to his emotions, Harry still felt a little mortified. If that wasn't enough, Kreacher had finally shown up at the house right when Harry was breaking things left right and centre.
And if the sight of a house elf ploughing into a full-blown tantrum of his own at how the most Ancient & Noble House of Blacks artefacts had been treated was any indication of Harry's foul mood, nothing could compare to how he felt when it was Moody himself who told Harry to stay put on September 1st.
He won't be going on the train, he won't be able to see his friends and he will not be going to Hogwarts this year. He wasn't stupid enough to pick a fight with the ex auror but he decided to unleash all he had on every single item within reach to the cries of Kreacher. And when he was exhausted, all he could do was cry at the unfairness of it all. He was to be healthy and cautious when moving as Dumbledore didn't know what to expect when a male decides to carry, it was virtually unheard off. And whilst Harry had vehemently denied getting rid of it, he had now been ushered into staying into the large house with hardly anyone to talk to. He could still hear Kreacher muttering away whilst he cleaned up but Harry could hardly muster talking to the elf who had betrayed them to Voldemort before. He couldn't talk to Hedwig as he had sent her to the Weasleys to again, bother them until they write back. And it seemed that Sirius had taken Buckbeak on his travels when he decided to leave with Remus in the summer. He was for most parts, lonely.
And it was that feeling that finally prompted him to clean the house properly. He gave Kreacher a wide birth but there was an unspoken agreement between them to leave each to their own devices, the tedious tasks of washing, cleaning and cooking put Harry in a state of lethargy. However, by the time October rolled, he had trouble even pulling out the horklumps in the garden, the pink little mushrooms that lay vast on the grass were pesky little things as they tended to attract the gnomes to the yard. It was when a gnome decided to jump and bite extremely close to his very noticeable lump did he decide to give the garden a final goodbye and to just mope around the house. Which was a good thing as the distance between him and the nearest bathroom was shortened considerably.
It was when December arrived that things started looking up for Harry. The first was the arrival Hedwig who hooted happily at his appearance, and although her claws barely contained letters, Harry was still so happy to see her. As he stroked the snowy owl, he caught her looking affronted at his stomach, no doubt that she could sense something remiss.
"There's a lot to tell you girl, so much has happened since you left." Harry chuckled a little as Hedwig pecked curiously near his stomach,
"There's a baby inside of me. I should really say I'm pregnant but that's just too weird to say out loud." Harry gave a self-deprecating laugh at that one but wasn't too sad about it. It was wonderous how just an appearance of a loved one made him so happy.
"You got some letters for me?" Hedwig hooted an affirmative, rubbing affectionately on his hand as Harry said his thanks before flying to a bowl of water.
He had a total of four letters which may seem pitiful to others but to Harry they were treasures. Of course, both Ron and Hermione opted to fill them with apologies and well wishes whilst babbling a little on events at school. Harry was surprised to learn that Slughorn had taken the mantle of a Potions professor which left Snape to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts. Harry couldn't even begin to imagine what those classes will be like and whilst he held a little sympathy for his friends, inside he was crying with mirth that he managed to get away from being taught Defence from Snape. Another letter came from Fred and George who all too happily sent a bunch of testers and updates on their own invention which Harry all too happily put in the far corner of the room. He had a feeling eating sweets with unknown ingredients and side effects will most definitely harm his baby. The last letter was completely unexpected but also the one Harry treasured the most, Hagrid had written to him and it seemed he was made aware of Harry's condition. The half giant had written to him full of concern for his own being that Harry vowed then and there that he would make sure Hagrid was there every step of the way for the baby's birth. Although Harry knew from first hand experience how Hagrid tends to be a little forceful with humans, he had also seen how gently he treated all sorts of animals around him. Already he felt his parental instinct kick in as his mind opened to possibilities of him and his child, a blurred vision of being home and content whilst playing with the small being, Hagrid and Dumbledore standing in the background making comical faces for amusement.
The daydream only continued for the rest of the day, a dopey smile on Harry's face as he wrote back to his friends and cooked a large meal for himself. Spooning a rather big helping of soup onto his bowl, Harry was not prepared for the sudden jolt he experienced in his stomach which caused him to cry out in alarm. Most shockingly, Kreacher had apparated in front of him with a saucepan held defensively, frantically looking around.
"Kreacher?" Harry said incredulously,
"Kreacher heard half-blood cry out, Kreacher can't see anything wrong." The elf's eyes narrowed in suspicion, his frail arms lowering the saucepan to his side,
"Ah" Harry still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the house elf was actually in front of him. After not talking to anyone in so long, Harry was more than desperate to talk to anyone, even if it was Kreacher.
"Would you like to join me, Kreacher?"
He got a glare for that "I is a good elf!"
"-Would you like to eat with-" Harry tapered off when he realized he was merely insulting the house elf by being nice, Kreacher looking like he was about to explode when at the words eat.
"Never mind!" Harry hurriedly said, cutting off the long-eared elf before it could lecture him.
"humph. Kreacher be going now." He disapparated before Harry could even say anything to that, which wasn't much anyway. Harry sighed dejectedly as he made his way to his bedroom, slurping noisily as he sat on the bed, a book half open as he attempted read over his stomach. It was then he felt it again, a jolt, almost like, the baby was moving inside him. If Harry didn't believe before that he was growing a baby inside of him, he does now. Soup long forgotten, Harry spent the entire afternoon just talking to his lump, he didn't care if the baby can understand him or not, he was too emotional at this point that he needed an outlet.
With December came the Christmas holidays and it was then that Harry was able to see both the Weasley Family and Hermione though she only stayed for two days before leaving with her family to France). And although Harry could tell they made a lot of effort to include him in the festive cheer, there was some frostiness from both Ginny and Mrs Weasley that Harry had a sinking feeling had to do with him being pregnant. As old fashioned as Molly is, Harry firmly believed her disapproval stemmed from how young he was which he could understand to an extent. With Ginny, he had no clue why she would be angered by this, and it was more obvious during dinner when she refused to sit by him or talk at all.
However, it was easier to ignore the less he thought about it, he was much happier than he's been in weeks. Being cooped up in one place with nothing to do was not good for Harry's mental health, however like all good things, it came to an immediate stop when the front door opened to reveal a glowing Sirius Black with Remus in tow.
Of course, the Weasley family greeted them like old friends, unaware of the tension that grabbed Harry' shoulders nor the awkwardness when Sirius finally spotted the bespectacled boy at the table.
"So, is everyone doing okay" Sirius clapped his hands together, rubbing in anticipation when the twins revealed their newly invented pranks which of course spieled Mrs Weasley to lecture them on focusing on their school studies. And even though it was rude and abrupt, Harry couldn't help but walk out the kitchen, ignoring Arthur's voice calling him back. Which was just as well, as Harry quickly sprinted up the stairs when he felt his eyes watering. It should have been Sirius calling him back to the kitchen or Remus, instead, it seemed they really didn't plan on talking to him at all.
Instead of locking himself up in the bedroom, the lithe boy had a sense of déjà vu as he stepped into what was once Walberga's Black room. As expected, Buckbeak was there, his yellow eyes glaring as Harry stepped into a bow before giving a small one himself. It was there, at the crook of Buckbeak's forearms that he made himself comfortable, talking the animal as he groomed his feathers until night arrived. By now, he was sure the whole house was asleep which was great news for Harry, it would mean he could eat in peace without running into anyone. However, as he stepped foot in the kitchen, he could hear voices being raised at the adjoining room, his heart sinking as he could hear the insults being traded back and forth.
"-mad elf! My mother was a fucking harlot! You better leave those bloody things, they're going in the bin!
"Disgrace to purebloods everywhere, mistress was right in kicking young filth out-"
"-Oh I'll be kicking you in a bit!"
When Harry popped his head through the door, he couldn't help but make a disgusted sound when he actually saw Sirius attempting to kick Kreacher's small body out the door.
"You shouldn't treat people like that." he said it quietly, but it was enough to get both the house elf and Sirius's attention,
"Harry, it's late, shouldn't you be in bed?" Sirius looked hardly ruffled at the arrival of Harry, instead he regarded the small boy with an unfathomable expression
"I-uh-wanted something to eat..."
"Kreach-"
"No, not Kreacher. Didn't you once told me that the wizard is only as good as they treat their servants." Harry didn't mean to be antagonistic, but seeing Sirius not talk to him all day to just tell him to go to bed stirred up something fierce in Harry.
"Look Harry, if you expect me to be nice to someone who betrayed me than you will be extremely disappointed."
And why did that statement send chills down Harry's spine,
"You think I betrayed you?"
"-Harry"
"-You think I purposefully meant to hurt you?"
"No, not purposefully. Harry, I don't think you realize what almost dying can do to a person."
Harrys eyes flashed at that, "Yes I do Sirius! I've experienced that more than anyone. Do you know how many times I blamed myself for what happened in the Ministry? I hated myself, I didn't kno-"
"-Harry, I get it, I do. But I couldn't stay here after what happened,"
"You didn't even tell me you were leaving."
"Remus thought it was best. And I'm sorry Harry, I thought so too."
"But I needed you…" Harry was honestly ashamed to say this. He thought he saw pity in Sirius's eyes but before he could say anything they were interrupted by the arrival of Mrs Weasley
"Oh, Harry dear, are you alright?"
"I'm fine Mrs Weasley. I just wanted something to eat." Harry said, giving her a tight smile.
"Would you like me to whip something for you dear?"
"No, no. It's okay, I was just heading up."
With a final look to Sirius he headed back upstairs to his bedroom. He could have sworn he heard the empty portrait of Phineas black mutter something but Harry was too occupied with everything in his head. He never imagined his own godfather blamed him, they had been through so much together that it seemed surreal that the events at the ministry was what broke the straw. And Remus – although Harry was never too close with the professor – he had hoped that as his father's friends, they could be a family of sorts. It seemed that dream had settled into the dust now which Harry had no time to muster the strength to cry about.
It seemed after the holidays, he will essentially be alone with two people who borderline couldn't care less about him and a house elf who is reluctant to be in the same room as him.
~~break~~break~~break~~
The birth itself was complicated, in that it had to be when it was 3am in the morning where the Order was sound asleep. There was absolutely no way to contact Dumbledore as he had been AWOL for the past few weeks and he would rather have his pride then go to Sirius and Remus for help. The portrait of Phineas black that had lay empty since the start of Harrys habitancy of the room was now dominated by Walburga Black who merely observed his agonized screaming with a cool gaze.
And Harry, he never felt pain like it, it felt honestly like his stomach was being clawed at, his innards pumping in agony, sending shards of pain up his spine. He was out of his mind, his back bending back to try and sooth it, screaming as his stomach cramped and a mixture of tears and snot lay with him on the bed. The comforter was long gone, hurriedly kicked off as the cramping began anew, a little tenser then the first round. Somewhere in the back of Harry's mind he was absolutely affronted that after all that screaming not one person had come to check on him. But a larger part just felt utterly sorry for himself. He did this to himself, he agreed to carry and now he is reaping the consequences in spades.
And just as he finally caught his breath back as cramps in his abdominal lightened, another round of pain reared its ugly head, but this time Harry was ready for it. He gritted his teeth, moaning out loud, hands scrunched across his stomach as he tried desperately to feel under the large bump. He was still hurting, his body was still aching but that didn't stop Harry from laughing manically, his green eyes gleaming and tearing up as he could feel his own magic flaring out. But most importantly, he could feel these tiny bursts of short energy inside him, itching to get out.
There is a human inside of him, and it really doesn't seem real. Not even when he could feel the tell-tale thumping in his stomach, his very being crackling with magic as he felt the human inside of him bursting to life as it were. the whole room intensifying in heat and sound as Harry manically tore his shirt of him, his breathing haggard and his heart pumping, adrenaline and fear pulsing throughout his very body.
And then his mouth was slacking, his drool coating his chin as his eyes rolled backwards, trying to focus on the dark wardrobe across from his as his hands finally laid limply beside him. The last thing Harry saw was the notable long eared head of two house elves before falling into unconsciousness.
The first thing Harry felt when he woke up that morning was absolute soreness throughout his body, particularly his stomach and groin area. His eyes squinting shut as the morning light penetrated his eyes, making him roll over to avoid it altogether. He felt awful. And he should probably get up. His mouth tasted something vile and he could feel a large amount of sweat on his body, making him a little shivery. There was dampness on the sheets that Harry could feel between his legs, and he grimaced a little as he tried to manoeuvre his legs to avoid it. It was already shaping up to a shitty morning. So, when Harry finally mustered up enough energy to get up, he hardly blinked at the sight of Albus Dumbledore sitting at the edge of his bed nursing a very small new-born, nor did Harry blink at the sight of Kreacher humming his way merrily around the room. It was only when he was safely in the shower, thinking about anything and everything when it registered what happened last night. He gave birth, and after that revelation, Harry lost control of his own body which flailed about on the thought of actually having a small human to take care of. In the rush to get out, he lost his footing on the forgotten soap suds that lay at the bottom of the shower, desperately grabbing the curtain chain as he fell and blacked out completely for the second time.
When he came around, it was to a bright light and a blurry image of the headmaster. His now yellow robes standing out against the backdrop of his dark bedroom.
"Ah, Harry, I trust your head is pain free?"
Harry merely grunted at that, hands blindly reaching out in search for his glasses, putting them on haphazardly as he scanned the room for a glimpse of a new born baby.
"I hope you will be able to tell me if you are experiencing any discomfort?" Albus said sternly, helping Harry sit up a little on the bed, "I do not want you overexert yourself today."
Harry looked a little contrite at that "I won't professor." Though as soon as he said that, a wave of dizziness crashed into him. Feeling faint, Harry decided it was best just get answers quickly before he faints again.
"What happened sir, where is-"
"Your child is being taken care off," seeing the alarm cross Harry's face, Dumbledore hurriedly continued "Your dear friend Dobby had decided to nurture the young babe, it seems it was in need of some milk."
"Dobby- Dobby was here yesterday?"
Dumbledore smiled kindly "It seemed most fortunate that Kreacher had decided to pop in just as Dobby was presenting me with some rather colourful socks."
"Kreacher?"
"Ah yes, I'm glad that you are able to treat the young elf kindly despite your differences, he may have very well saved your life."
Harry just looked dumbfounded at that. "Professor, not to be rude, but I have no bloody idea what's going on."
"I see" Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment, "Before I explain Harry, I was wondering f you could indulge me in answering a few questions…"
"Err, sure."
"I had wondered, if perhaps there was some conflict between yourself and your godfather?"
Harry flinched at that and he was shocked that even a mention of Sirius had him wiping away tears quickly,
"There's no conflict Professor," Harry sniffed, "He hasn't really been talking to me since he nearly died. I don't think-" Harry couldn't even continue the thought,
"You do not think he might care for you anymore..." Dumbledore continued gently, his eyes kind as he regarded the small boy, at Harry's silent nod his eyes seemed to flash with some unguarded emotion.
"Is this the same situation with your friends?"
Harry quickly nodded, his hands wiping any stray tears "I think its just the pregnancy in general sir, they don't approve. I don't think they ever will."
"I am so terribly sorry you had to endure that my dear boy. I had never thought Sirius would – ah, it seems I am still repeating my past mistakes,"
"You couldn't have known professor,"
"No, no I could have not, but I should have been vigilant – especially when it comes to you Harry." Although the words were kind, Harry couldn't help but be miffed about being constantly watched. Almost as if Dumbledore can read his mind, he apologized,
"Forgive me Harry, I do not mean to belittle your maturity, especially as you are now essentially, a mother."
A mother. A family. Although Harry was absolutely terrified at the thought of being a parent, of calling himself a mother, his mood brightened noticeably at the thought of finally meeting his child. His smile was infectious as Dumbledore rose up from the bed, a happy smile beginning to form on the headmaster's face,
"I believe it is time you meet your child Harry," He said cheerfully, opening the door to Dobby who stood outside with a bundle in his arms. Harry's breath caught in his throat as Dobby started to make his way towards him, his eyes couldn't even leave the small bundle. Not even to look at Dumbledore who had now closed the door to stand beside him with Kreacher in tow. As he held his arms out for the tiny bundle, Harry couldn't contain himself. Is this what mothers feel when they finally hold their child. This overwhelming surge of pride and love, of possession and the need to protect was devastatingly heavy on his heart. He was openly bawling now, but a shaky smile still in place as he finally looked into the face he had birthed, and it was beautiful.
"I believe you have a son, Harry." the headmaster's voice carried across the room, the only sounds were the gentle breathing of the baby and Harry's small hiccups as he tried to stop himself from crying.
Breathing heavy, Harry turned towards the two house-elves and couldn't help a small chuckle escape him. Kreacher looked entirely uncomfortable with his open display of emotion whilst Dobby was increasingly fidgety in trying not to help. It was really quite endearing.
"Thank you, both of you. You helped me so much, I don't think I can ever repay you!" which was the wrong thing to say when Dobby tearfully and hysterically denied any rewards as he did it for 'Great Harry Potter sir" whilst Kreacher vehemently sneered at the thought of repayment. But perhaps Harry was in too much of a good mood as he thought he detected some affection in Kreacher's gaze when he looked at him. And Harry wondered when on earth he decided that Kreacher was also his along with Dobby, when did he get past the thought of Kreacher betraying them to full on forgiving and trusting the small bitter elf. Dumbledore gave him a knowing smile over his half moon spectacles which proved that Harry was still shit at occlumency.
"Well Harry, it seems fate is a funny little thing wouldn't you agree?" And Harry had to agree, looking down to his sleeping baby, Harry was hit by how much he already looks like Tom Riddle. The teenaged boy knows he is reaching but he couldn't help but wonder if this was Tom Riddle's second chance in a way. The irony wasn't lost on Dumbledore it seems.
"Did you have a name in mind my dear boy?"
"I've read a few books," Harry bashfully said, "But I'm not sure yet. It's important right, to have a good name."
"Naming a child is quite a symbolic ceremony, I would say it is important to know what you want your child to be proud of."
Harry frowned at that, "I want him to be named after something great. In the chamber, I remember, Voldemort said he hated his name."
"Voldemort was anything but ordinary I must admit, but Tom was a shackle he could never bare to have."
"I just find it funny, how Voldemort hated his common name, but me, I always wanted to be just Harry. I always liked my boring name…"
Dumbledore smiled at that, eyes twinkling as he hummed his agreement, "If it may help you, I could tell you a little about Tom Riddle's family. Yes-" Dumbledore added at Harry's shocked face "Tom Riddle had a family that were never present in his life. His mother you see had died in childbirth which left Tom to grow up in an orphanage."
"I-I never knew."
"In essence, what young Riddle said to you in the chamber was correct in a sense. You both share many similarities-"
"-But its choices that makes us who we are" Harry intoned dryly, causing Dumbledore to laugh out loud,
"Oh dear, it seems I am getting unoriginal these days."
There was companionable silence between them before Harry finally asked,
"What was Voldemort's mothers name?
"I believe it was Merope Gaunt."
Harry couldn't help but pull a face at the name, he was sure he heard the name before.
"Gaunt?"
"The Gaunts' is a very old-line Harry, they are the direct descendants of Salazar Slytherin himself. However, instead of living in lavish luxury they all but squandered their wealth and weren't left with much in the end." A neutral expression settled on Dumbledore's face, absentmindedly stroking the baby's head whilst Harry thought on. Something was still niggling at the back of his head, which he couldn't put his finger on, a memory of him opening the book of constellations flowing in his mind, making him jump a little,
"Is Merope a star?!"
Dumbledore beamed at the question "Why yes Harry, I believe she is. It is not usually seen by the human eye but a star all the same."
That settles that then, though Harry couldn't help but throw a suspicious glance at the man "I think he should be a star, something bright and big, a constellation…" Harry smiled down at his son, his finger feather light as he traced around his eyes, "What's your favourite Professor?"
"Oh, I'm partial to a long and winding river, Eridanus, there is much to look at there, though judging your expression the name is a little much no?"
"Sorry,"
"Not at all my boy, of course in my humble opinion, I can't see anything more fitting then the constellation of Hydrus."
"A snake." Harry deadpanned, a put-upon expression at Dumbledore's wide smile. But the more he thought about it the more fitting it seemed.
"My mother as well" at Dumbledore's confused gaze he added, "I want a part of my mother with me as well. Aunt Petunia doesn't like to mention her, but it's pretty obvious they were named after flowers. I have my father's name, and now this little one has Tom's mother inside him.
"Well who am I to disagree,"
"We have some Aster flowers growing in the garden." A contemplating look on Harry's face, "Aster seems masculine enough I think."
"What a fitting name I believe, its meaning is absolutely is quite poetic."
"What do you mean now" said Harry exasperated,
Dumbledore tapped his crooked nose before standing up with a wink, "I think I'll leave you to research the name, I'm sure it will be much more amusing. Hydrus Aster. A very unusual name but one with a very bright future ahead. As a son of both yourself and Tom Riddle, I believe he will be extraordinary."
Harry was about to reply before he heard a patter of footsteps near the door, Dumbledore must have sensed something remiss as he frowned at the door as well before dismissing it slightly. Harry thought he saw a swish of red and knew it would not bode well for him.
"Well Harry, I believe I shall be off,"
"Thank you, Professor, I don't know what you did yesterday but you saved me again, not only me but my son."
"Think nothing of it my dear boy," his hands patting the teenaged boy head, "I believe it is time you had rested for a while."
"Will you be back soon?"
"I'm sorry Harry, but I believe it will be a while since I will be back, I hope to explain it to you when I return. Hopefully by then I have successfully completed my task. Do take care Harry."
Harry waved a small goodbye to the headmaster, tearing a little before pulling himself together as he watched Dumbledore whistle cheerfully out the door.
~~break~~break~~break~~
By next morning everyone knew exactly who Harry's baby belonged to and Harry knows they know after the table went completely silent at his arrival. Mrs Weasley's mouth were pressed hard into a thin line as she plated up his food whilst both Ron and Hermione studiously avoided eye contact. He didn't even bother looking at Sirius or Remus, he knew just from the rocking of the chair they were itching for something to say. Harry's eyes sought Ginny's who looked at him with no remorse in her eyes. He supposes it seemed like the ultimate betrayal to her when she himself was possessed by Tom Riddle for a year. They ate in silence, a hand was beating rhythmically on the table, someone was absentmindedly tapping their foot, he could see Tonks' hair colour changing chaotically. It was all getting a bit much, which was why Harry was eternally grateful when the silence was broken by the arrival of the twins.
"Harrykins!" they bounded over to him, their smiles eerily stretched across their cheeks as they handed him a gift basket of sorts.
"Congratulations, you have done the impossible!" He thought Fred say, though it was hard to tell when they both purposely wear the same clothes,
"It could only be you Harry, giving birth, my gosh!" Ah, now this was Fred, who had a slightly darker tone than George.
"It must have been a bloody one, mate, you are absolutely bonkers!"
"Would you mind if we took a little peek down there-"
"-See if everything is working correctly if you will."
Harry couldn't help but laugh at that "Thanks but no thanks, wouldn't want it completely defective." Winking at them when they both had comical looks of disappointment on their face.
"Err… congratulations mate." Ron piped in, nudging Hermione on the side of him when she stayed quiet.
"Oh, er yes, Harry," Hermione said, rather reluctantly, "I suppose congratulations are in order"
"You don't have to say it if you don't like it"
"Damn straight we don't!"
"Sirius-"
"-No Arthur, let me say this. I can't believe you actually went through with it."
"What else was I supposed to do?"
"Anything else but this! Do you realize what you have done!"
"No Sirius. What is it that I've done?"
He knew he was borderline baiting the older man, his mocking tone didn't help at all as Sirius looked like he was going to explode but Remus beat him to it.
"You just painted yourself an even bigger target then before." His eyes were cold as he regarded Harry, "Not only you willingly decided to have a baby in connection with Voldemort, if he ever finds out you will be handing him a weapon."
"He won't find out-"
"-Very immature to say, which emphasizes that your hardly fit enough to be a parent in any shape and form."
"Remus!" A scandalized gasp escaped Molly,
"It had to be said Molly! Harry you are deluded into thinking you will forever be safe. Do you not know how your actions in the Ministry of Magic cost us? There are many spies lurking and any slip of the tongue and Voldemort will find out instantly. It will be best for all if you hand over the baby to a place far away!"
Tears pricked Harry's eyes at the thought, "I wont ever give him up." His voice hard, "You hear me! The only way you ever get your hands on him is over my cold dead body!"
"Well that's an exaggeration," Tonks added, "All we need to do is incapacitate you before taking it off from you…"
Harry looked at her with wide eyes, unable to believe she also felt the same way,
"Harry," she said sympathetically, "it's easier if you just give the baby to us,"
"You are all barking mad if you think I'll hand my baby over to you guys!"
"Well you won't have a choice will you." Sirius said grimly, rolling his sleeves up as Remus held out his wand,
"Now wait-"
"-Just a minute!"
The twins said, each looking flabbergasted at what was unveiling in front of them, their hands quickly going to their wands as Tonks finally stood up,
"This- this isn't right" – Ron said, straightening up in his chair whilst Harry shot a grateful look over him,
"I agree," Hermione finally said, "With Sirius." she added at Harrys hopeful look.
"I'm sorry Harry, but they are right. You are constantly in danger, you can't expose that to a child."
"Don't you dare pretend this is for the wellbeing of my child!" his voice was shaking but Harry was well past caring, he could feel his magic oozing out of him, he was so angry he wanted to explode "You want to get rid of my son, don't you!"
"-a son" Mrs Weasley whispered, a hand over her mouth,
"A son!" Sirius exclaimed, "The consequences of having a son is brutal, do you know what other titles he will be picking up by proxy?!"
"I don't care-"
"-Oh you should! The amount of votes Voldemort has in the ministry is already quite large. Any more and this world is doomed because of legislation and laws we can't stop!" Remus said loudly, his eyes flashing dangerously "We already have a hard time stopping death eater activities without piling ministry activities as well."
Sirius it seemed, had absolutely enough, "That's it! Tonks, grab the fucking baby! let just get this over with!"
Harry raced to block the door, "There is no way in hell you get to do this to me!"
"Do you realize who I am Harry, I am your godfather!"
"You stopped being that the moment you decided to leave without telling me!" Harry all but hissed, "You are absolutely nothing to me and if my dad was here, I'm pretty sure he would have hated who you are now." There was silence before it was broken by a large slap.
Harry staggered backwards, his hand already on his wand trained on Sirius, lowering slightly at the look of horror dawning on Sirius face before looking at Remus, his hand still in the air. Harry couldn't help his eyes from watering slightly before finally looking at the man and saying,
"So, I guess you're no different than any other monsters out there, am I correct professor" it came out cold and mockingly, and in that moment, they were strongly reminded of Voldemort himself.
He knew he cut deep when Remus flinched away from him, but he didn't regret it. Not even when he saw Tonks discreetly pull her own wand out shoot a spell at him. He dodged. And the whole kitchen was in chaos.
He could see Arthur tackling Sirius as he prepared to launch himself at the door, Tonks spells were missing largely due to the twins' efforts of the Protego charm, he could distinctly hear Molly Weasley screaming at Lupin whilst he was held back by Ron of all people.
There were spells being shot in all directions before Kreacher popped in, trying to clean the mess whilst dodging between the legs all the whist muttering under his breath. It would have been comical if Harry didn't see Hermione rushing out door. And for a heart stopping second, he was utterly paralyzed with fear before he screamed after her, running for his life out the door. Though he needn't have gotten far.
The sight of Mad Eye Moody with a wand held aloft in one hand and the baby in the other was enough to silence the whole kitchen. Harry didn't miss how the wand was trained on Hermione only who stood rooted to the spot in fear. He pushed past her, nearly tripping over in haste to get to Moody,
"Here Potter", Moody growled, handing the short boy his son, "What did I tell you about constant vigilance!"
"S-sorry"
"Get upstairs."
"Y-yes sir"
With that, Harry wasted no time in fleeing back to his room. Even with the door shut he could hear the arguing continuing downstairs. Of what they should do now that there is a baby present, of how to get rid of his son, how best to protect the boy who lived. It was a while until he all he could hear was low mutterings and a slam of the front door. Harry felt a vindictive pleasure when he could hear the screaming of Walburga Black in the corridor, it will be a while until she shut's up.
Harry had taking constant vigilance to heart and had locked his door with a locking charm, levitated the bulky wardrobe to block the door and to finally have Dobby hidden in the corridor to keep an eye on everyone. By mid-afternoon he was completely exhausted and hungry, Hydrus still sleeping in his arms as he paced the small bedroom with Hedwig hooting occasionally at the two of them. Kreacher popped in around 2pm, giving him some baby necessities. He also gave him the gift basket he had left downstairs. which turned out to be useful when he pulled out a few baby clothes out of it. He said a silent thank you to the twins as he put them away safe. It was as he had a bottle of milk balancing on his elbow when a blue light blinded his vision. The light dimmed to a large grey wolf which opened its mouth to speak,
"Potter, Dumbledore is aware of the situation but is currently occupied. To put it bluntly you are not safe in that house, but you are also not safe outside either. Keep to yourself and keep an eye out. You're smart Potter, so don't screw it up by fighting. Constant Vigilance Potter – now more than ever."
The Patronus disappeared which left Harry in a desolate state. He was tired, exhausted and now had a baby to take care off whilst watching his back against his friends. It was starting to become too much all at once. He might as well lock himself up in the room and never come out until he's old and grey, though it wouldn't be practical with a baby to raise – he shuddered at a thought of being confined for so long. Right now, he would have to take it a day at a time, and hopefully, things wont look to bleak tomorrow.
~break~break~break~
Whenever Harry pictured himself running away from the order, he expected to be dodging and hiding in various places to shake of pursuers. He expected to constantly disguise both him and his baby whenever they went, practically rationing his food and breaking into any houses he could find to sleep at night. In reality, he wasn't followed, no one stared or gave him a second glance as he walked his way towards the nearest bus stop, nor did they point and screamed his location when the subtle breeze whistled through his hair. Harry mused that it could potentially be his own hair which faithfully remained as messy as ever but much longer than in the summer of 95. There were long strands of black curls that covered his scar and his eyes were still hidden behind a broken pair of wire rimmed glasses. His baggy clothes comically disguised his body, making his small skinny frame a little hulky. Nevertheless, he sent nervous glances behind him as he hurried his pace, Dobby merely skipping ahead of him as he sent curious onlookers on their way with a click of his fingers.
It was strange, Harry thought as he saw a small teenager startle at the sight of Dobby but quickly became distracted, on how there wasn't any warnings on the use of magic this time. He could remember the summer when Dobby visited his house to warn him against going to Hogwarts, how with a click of Dobby's fingers the use of magic was detected. And again, when he was protecting himself against the dementors, it was a little alarming how a simple Patronus charm nearly expelled him. Actually, now that he thought about it, how on earth do they detect magic so quickly.
"Dobby?"
"Harry Potter Sir?"
"Does the Ministry record my wand – like, can they track it?"
"Mister potter sirs be talking about the trace" Dobby said knowingly, slowing down to skip alongside Harry,
"The trace?"
"Dobby is not sure master, but there be something inside the wands that ministries be tracking."
"And how do you get rid of it?"
"Mr Potter sirs, trace be gone when master be reaching of age,"
"Of age, I'm not even 18 yet…"
Dobby shook his head rapidly, "tis the wizarding world Harry Potter sirs, 17 is the great age!"
Disbelief clouded Harry's expression, "So I could've used magic for a month now, and no one told me?!"
"Dobby isn't sure Harry Potters sirs, but Kreacher be knowing why. Would master be letting Dobby carry child?"
"No, it's alright Dobby. Actually, do you mind checking in with Kreacher – see how he's getting on with getting the rest of the books?"
"Anything for great and noble Harry Potter sir."
As Dobby popped away, Harry couldn't help the exasperated sigh that left him. Someday he will get Dobby out of the habit of calling him anything with titles in the name.
~~break~~break~~break~~
He forgot just how much he hated the Knight Bus. With it's constant sharp turns and all around bad driving, Harry would be hard pressed into ever taking the bus willingly again. It took all his strength to keep hold of Hydrus whilst using his thighs to grip the seat underneath him, steeling himself against gravity when it threatened to topple both of them over. It didn't help that right in the middle of telling Stan Shunpike that "no we haven't met before' and that 'no, I'm not telling you my name!' Hydrus had woken up with a cry, alerting every single witch that there was a baby on board. Spending the entire bus ride with a crowd of high pitched croons and baby noises was the most infuriating things that could have happened to him to date. He nearly pushed over two middle aged women in his haste to get to the exit doors.
With some haggard thanks, Harry left the bus, his body sagging in relief against the nearest lamppost as he tried to get his bearings. His arms relaxing as the lamppost took the full weight of both him and Hydrus. He was essentially homeless now, and while he decided to take Walburga Black's advise and visit Gringotts – he hadn't the faintest clue of what he should do after. With Dobby gone, he would have to make do with pulling his cloak tighter around him, his child hidden safely underneath as he made his way to the Leaky Cauldron. The quicker he got this done, the more farther he is away from both the Order and Voldemort.
AN. So you might have noticed that there was only slight bashing of characters and that's honestly the extent I'm willing to write it. There will be no black and white villain or full out Dumbledore bashing – in this story Dumbledore has little questionable motives but it comes from a good heart, he is still a trustworthy character in my eyes. Anyway – reviews as always is appreciated