This is a story I got when I saw Cry's walk-through of Finding Paradise. It made me start thinking how I could turn it into a love story and this is what it turned out. I hope you all like it!
Warnings: Implied sexual content.
This is angsty because star-crossed lovers.
The Curious Life of Soul Evans
It was odd. There had been signs to warn her that something was off from the usual. But then again her experience in the field hadn't prepared her for this since she had only handled barely a handful of cases before this one. Her education had taught her how she would do the memory manipulation for elderly so they could find peace and live their last moments without any regrets before death would whisk them away.
The first warning was more discrete than the others. It was the specific request for her to come and perform the operation. She was a newbie. She hadn't made a name of herself in the industry and someone specifically asked for her. People didn't know anything about her in the industry. She wasn't a young newly graduate excited to start working, no, she was a woman in her thirties who decided after a couple of years working as a doctor at a hospital she wanted to do something else with her life. A short specialised education at the company specialising in reforming a person's memories to their wishing, she was ready. She had great co-workers who were more successful and experienced in the business, but the client still wanted her. She wasn't quite sure how the client managed to get her name since the company hadn't yet added her name and picture on their homepage.
The second sign was her boss revealing the fact from day one she had graduated, the client had asked for her. It was… odd. Really odd. It hadn't ever happened before and her boss had made sure to convey it. Since the client's wish had been a lot vaguer than the usual cases a newly graduate like herself to take on, she had to get certain experience before she could take on the client's case. But today was the day since the client's condition had worsened and time was running out, she needed to perform the operation before it was too late.
The third sign was more of a hunch of something wasn't quite right. When she arrived at the client's house, something was off. It wasn't the fact her client, Soul Evans she had read in the profile, was unmarried with no kids, it was the ordinary case the company had gotten. Lonely people wanting to create memories of a happier and meaningful life in their head before they passed away. It was the fact after she had been let inside by Soul Evans's brother Wesley Evans and met her client, something was definitely out of the ordinary.
Soul Evans had been bound to his bed with a machine by his side and a tube going from it and snaked under his blanket. It had been the dialysis machine keeping him alive as long as his failing kidneys could take. Soul Evans… he was unusual with red eyes staring at her. But the most unusual was the fact his face had lit up the moment he saw her. A wide smile had spread on his wrinkly face and eyes had sparked as if she was his saviour. She had brushed it off by saying to herself, in a way, she was his saviour. She was going to give him new memories of a better life and save his last time in this world from being a misery.
It hadn't stopped there. As she and her team had set up everything, he had asked her everything he could about the machines, how the procedure would go and all of that. He certainly was a lot more interested than her last clients had been. But she had brushed it off as a control issue, how wrong she had been.
It wasn't until everything was set and she had fetched him a glass of water before the procedure, it all fell into place.
She had logged in to her system and entered his mind.
"Shhhh! Don't scream! It's okay! Calm down!" Mr. Evans, a much younger man with less wrinkles and thicker hair held her shoulders as she screamed in fright.
"You're not supposed to do this!" she screamed in fright.
She couldn't understand it. Usually she was like a fly on the wall, living in the memories and watching the client live their life, this couldn't happen! The client wasn't supposed to be able to interact with her in the system! The instructors had never taught her anything about this!
He muffed her screams with his hand. "This isn't weird. We've met before—"
She screamed against his warm hand on her mouth as she cried to let her go.
"—I-I mean, we know each other. This isn't weird."
"Not weird?!" Maka yelled when she smacked his hand from her. "You're not supposed to even see me! This is a simulation!"
"No, no, no, no." He shook his head, his bangs caressing his eyebrows. "Of course I'm supposed to see you— we love each other."
"Whaaaaat?"
"Just…" He braced himself. "Just hear me out, okay."
"You better explain this right away or I swear I'll log out of here—"
"I will, just…" he grabbed her wrist, staring deep in her eyes. "… don't go."
She let him talk. The more he talked, the more things didn't make sense. This was supposed to be a memory, but somehow, this had been a grey area between reality and simulation. Soul Evans told her she had been here before. They had already met before. And they… he told her they were in love. How she couldn't comprehend. It was a fifty year age gap between them! She hadn't seen him before in her entire life! Never before had she seen a person with red eyes!
It became crazier and crazier the more he talked. They loved each other. They were in the grey area of a simulation and reality. He had called her to perform the procedure so he could meet her in person (which he hadn't actually met her outside of this strange realm because he wasn't at the age he was outside of the realm). It didn't make any sense at all. Not a single word coming out from his mouth felt like it was in English. It was all spoken so unfamiliarly and she couldn't comprehend how everything made sense from the textbooks she had learned.
"Listen," Mr. Evans spoke as he cupped her shoulder. "I know this is weird, but it doesn't matter. The reason you are here, is because this is what we want— I want. When I told your company I wanted you to come and make me happy because this is what will make me happy."
She raised her eyebrow. "So… what you are trying to say… you wanted me in particular to be happy?"
"Yes." A huge smile spread on his face as his other hand joined on her other shoulder. "I want as much time as I can get with you while you poke through my memories. It's all I want since the last time you explored my mind."
"Last time?"
"It's complicated. Even I barely understood it when you explained it. But… this is your first time you've met me, but for me, this isn't my first time. Or rather, this is my last time meeting you in this world. The next time I'll meet you is outside in the real world when I called you to do the procedure."
"So while I go through your memories from older to younger, you've known me when you were younger to older?"
Mr. Evans nodded. "Hit the nail on the head."
This was the world of bizarre that didn't make any sense to her. "Wait… but how are we even interacting with each other? You're supposed to be a memory. You're not supposed to be able to interact with me."
A wide grin grew on his face, exposing razor sharp teeth she hadn't noticed before. He pulled up the sleeve of his leather jacket and exposed— the company's co-pilot equipment!
"How did you get that?!" she exclaimed.
"You told me exactly where it was."
"No! No I didn't!"
"Yes you did." A wide grin grew on his face. "You told me the first time we met— for me, but for you it was the last time we met inside of the simulation."
She opened her mouth to sneer at him but quickly closed her mouth. What was going on? This was beyond insane and completely impossible! First time for her but this was the last time they met for him? Time couldn't get tangled up like that. It was impossible! And how in the world did he even know all of this before the simulation! This was beyond comprehending and backwards.
Her mouth tightened and so did her fists. "Tell me, is this the real world for you or is this just some dream?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "To be honest, I'm not quite sure. One moment I'm doing something and the next one, you're here and everything just…"
"Just what?"
He rolled his tongue within his mouth, searching for the right words to say. "Look around you."
It was the first she really took in her surroundings. She was by a tiny lake or a huge pound, she guessed the later with geese and ducks swimming on the surface. Benches were thoughtfully placed by the trail and she could only guess she was within a park. The environment wasn't strange. In fact, this was the first time things acted normal. There was an exact copy of Mr. Evans scattered around the palace, one seated on a bench frozen in place. A different one by the side of the lake and another frozen in his step a little further back from the others.
"This is completely normal," she commented. "But what is it to you?"
"I don't really know. It's not like it's normal. Everything is the same one moment and then this… everything just freezes up and I see myself the last moments in this place and you are here."
Maka nodded slowly. She was starting to understand. At least grasp the complexity of the situation. This was the first time she met him, but for him, they had already known each other for a life time. The simulation machine to reach in into his memories, it had somehow… she couldn't describe it, but somehow, it had altered and somehow managed to bend space and time for her to reach him not only in his memories, but in reality too. Time had twisted and tangled around them and allowed them to reach each other in such a unique way that had never happened before.
This. This right here. She was making history. A discovery she could barely wrap her mind around. With this, if they could control it, it could be a way to reach into the past and correct the mistakes. It was an unbelievable power if they could harness it, a power that could be used against them. Nothing she would want to spread or let any other person know about this.
She had to keep it a secret.
Even from her own team.
Soul Evans raised his eyebrow and waved his hand. "Hello?"
She shook her head and offered him a smile. "So…" she exhaled. "You can tell me now, what is it you want me to help you with?"
A soft smile spread on his face and wrinkles appeared around his eyes. "As much time as I can get with you inside of this simulation."
She raised her eyebrow quizzically and tilted her head.
"As I said before, we love each other. All I have ever wanted was to be with you and spend time with you."
It was so strange. The way he looked at her. Red eyes incredibly soft and a smile warm and smooth like honey. A look she had only seen people truly in love with each other offer their other half. Never before had she been on the other end of one of them. Not until now. It was… nice.
Her life hadn't been all romance and love. Her parents had fought most of their time together before her mother filed for a divorce. It certainly shaped her perspective on love, the need for intimacy and love everybody seemingly needed, she didn't possess. Never had she looked for it other than the poor attempts she made in college because her other friends were going on dates and they set her up on a date with some guy she had no interest in.
Soul Evans. He loved her. There were no more words needed for him to convince his affection for her. His eyes reflected what was within his soul. The eyes were truly the windows to the soul.
"That's all?" she asked.
"That's all," he confirmed.
"Well, I will do my best to give you as much time as possible, but my boss expects the case to be solved within two to three days. I can stretch it by slowing down my work pace, but I can't give you forever."
"I am aware."
"Good." She nodded. "So… what do you want to do?"
A huge grin grew on his face. "How about we start with a walk?"
…
She pulled the gear off her head and sighed heavily, massaging the bridge of her nose. Her thighs and butt were sore from sitting too long in her chair and she stood up, flexing her legs and stretching out her arms above her head.
"How did it go?" Wesley Evans stood up from his seat, supporting himself on his cane. "Is he fixed?"
She couldn't help but her eyes trailed to Mr. Evans' still sleeping body on the bed. "With the vague request he made and the amount of memories I have to go through, this isn't something I can fix in a day."
"Is it… you can fix him, right?"
She nodded. "I'll make sure he will get the content and happy life he requested."
Wesley Evans seemed to sigh with relief and a smile grew on his face. He slowly went around Soul's bed and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad." He patted her shoulder and exited the room.
So he knew about this too. Mr. Evans had told him about this, huh?
"Maka…?" Mr. Evans murmured as he rocked his head slightly.
"I'm here," she replied and went over to his side, removing the head gear and placing it on the night stand. His eyes cracked open on his aged face. His face wrinkling more than a raisin when he cracked a weak smile toward her, a smile she recognized so well from within the simulation. Minus all the wrinkles, age spots and pale skin.
"You're finally here," he breathed out, throwing out the loaded word. "You have no idea how happy I am."
She couldn't. There was no way she could even comprehend this situation. All his life… since the first moment he met her, he rejected every female in order to be with her even though it was impossible. He waited for her. Every day he had waited for her, hoping she would come and visit him so they could spend some time together. He didn't get marry or had any kids so he could be completely available to her.
It was a romantic thought, to be so in love with someone you would forsake every other to the favour of simply waiting for that one person, to spend a couple of hours before she had to jump to the next memory he would have to wait months, sometimes even years for her.
It was stupid. Given up living in his time and just longing for some fantasy girl to visit him briefly. She was nothing special, certainly not someone worth throwing away a whole life waiting for. Soul Evans… he rejected the living and lived for a fantasy. She knew she hadn't exactly dated seriously or ever been in love, only the occasional lustful crush on someone who was a complete waste of time. There was no way she could've done something like Mr. Evans— lived like him.
She exhaled steadily as she focused her attention on the dialysis machine he was hooked up on. Steady and good stability. For now.
"Get a good night's rest Mr. Evans. Tomorrow will be a long day," she spoke and ignored him completely.
…
It was odd hanging with Mr. Evans— Soul within the simulation. For every new memory he had, they did something new together. Often they had dinner and talked about their lives. It was every meaning of odd, two people being able to meet and talk in the one place where time and reality knotted together. As cliché as it sounded…
It was fate.
At least that was what Soul thought.
The Soul in his fifties was right by her side with more hair on his head and less wrinkles on his face, but it was still mature to match his aged body.
Both stared out at the ocean of desert sand in front of them along with the setting sun slowly disappearing in the horizon. "I always enjoy coming here," he said. "It always took my mind off work and family and just… be alone with my thoughts."
"You were alone a lot, huh?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, I've never really been good with people. Interacting with people has always been more straining than rewarding."
How she knew. She had been there on the day of his last day at his workplace, he had tried to hide away in his office and avoided all the people as well as he could. That day he had been so exhausted he had fallen asleep on the couch. It wasn't enough that she had been there, but it had done some good since she was there. She had enabled interaction so she could be present and cheer him on, be by his side throughout the festivities.
"You know you are quite the hermit. Only occasionally eating dinner with Wes and annually going out with your work buddies. Even I hang out with my colleagues more than you, and I'm a pretty bad case."
Soul chuckled heartily as he turned toward her, flashing his intriguing smirk. "I know, but the loneliness hasn't really bothered me. It's relaxing being alone and… I've always gotten everything I needed from your visits."
It was scary. The way he looked at her when he was talking about her. His eyes grew so warm and… it did something to her. It made her… happy. Having someone for once looking at her with affection was something she didn't think she would experience since she bloomed last out of the class in high school and… no one was interested in her like that. It felt good knowing, truly knowing and seeing affection in someone's eyes toward her. Was it bad accepting his affection toward her to make herself feel good? It was, wasn't it? But Soul didn't reject it. He knew very well she couldn't return those feelings, but he still offered her his love for every new memory she went to. Always so eager to bare his heart and offer her all his love to her even when he knew very well she couldn't accept it.
She gulped and she lowered her head at his hand only an inch away, had been just like in the previous memories. Always being an inch away from her, offering her his touch and understood when she didn't touch him.
But…
Cautiously she closed the gap, allowing her pinkie to touch his. A smile grew on her face when slowly Soul entwined their hands together and they stood in silence as they gazed out at the desert in front of her.
…
She sighed heavily as she flopped down on her bed, freeing her hair from her ponytail and looking up at the ceiling of the motel she stayed in.
She couldn't face him.
When it had been time to log out and she had to face the real Soul, she couldn't face him. It grew harder and harder for every time she had to log out. The Soul she got to know inside of the simulation was very much alive, but he wasn't okay. She had been a doctor before. Only a glimpse of his medical history was all she needed to know within a soon future he would be gone.
And the reality of it hurt her more than she wanted to admit.
He touched her. A way she hadn't been touched before. It wasn't simply about the sensation of his stronger hand in hers or the affection and the clear adoration in his eyes, but he got her in a way nobody had ever done before. She could talk to him. Really talk to him. She hadn't had such a close bond to someone before. And… he was a really hot 37 years old.
She bit her lower lip as she squeezed her thighs shut. It wasn't just a thing when she wanted to get down and dirty with him. She really wanted him. The way they were inside of the simulation. She had never felt more loved in her entire life. It wasn't just that, maybe it was to a beginning, but she was really starting to like him. She liked hanging around with him and talking to him and they had chemistry.
It made it all more painful.
They couldn't be together. He was fifty years older than her and on his death bed. They couldn't have a life together. She was already pushing the limit of the amount of time she had to spare and within just a matter of days, she would be separated from him. There was nothing they could do. Their feelings were a waste. Soul had given up on living with a different woman in his own time who he could share those usual milestones with. He had given it all up for her. She couldn't grasp even the thought of how he could do that, how he could love someone so confidently he was willing to live a life of waiting just to see her once in a while. Or was he foolish for doing it? Maybe even unable to move on to someone new because she offered him excitement with her sudden appearance. Or maybe it was because he only thought she could ever love him. She didn't know. All she knew is Soul had spent his whole life waiting for her and here she finally was, completely unable to meet his gaze when she logged off.
She wanted to like him. Wanted to give them a chance, but it was just impossible. What they had wasn't something that could last. It wasn't something she could write home to her father and talk about. She was sure Soul would die from a heart attack after her father was done confronting him. It was utterly crazy how they had been brought together. Cared for each other. They were so close but yet so far away.
She rose into a sitting position on her bed, running her hand through her loose curls.
She needed to talk to him. Wanted more answers. Not from within the simulation to his younger self. She needed them outside of the simulation. From the real him.
She inhaled a breath of courage before she decided on visiting him.
It wasn't far from Soul's modest home. The cool night nibbled on her skin as she waited by his front door, nervously tapping her foot against the doormat. She bit her lower lip as she rang the doorbell again. When she was about to turn back and confront him in the morning instead, the door opened and there he was. The little hair he had on his head going in all directions and his face more wrinkled than a raisin the moment his eyes laid upon her.
"Maka…" he whispered.
"Hi…" her hands tightened on her sleeves. "Can I come in?"
"Sure!" He invitingly opened up the door and let her inside, closing it behind her. "I'm afraid if you want some coffee you'll have to make it yourself― but I can get you water if you want?"
"Don't strain yourself. You can take a seat while I get some water."
"Oh… yeah, there's a pitcher in the cabinet next to the fridge."
While Soul took a seat on the couch in the living room, groaning as he took a seat as she grabbed two glasses and a pitcher, filling it with water. She entered the living room and found Soul rubbing his belly where the catheter hid underneath his shirt.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he answered, but she knew very well he wasn't. At this moment, maybe, but the dialysis would fail him soon.
She took a seat beside him and unloaded the pitcher and the two glasses on the coffee table. She poured them some water and she took a sip from her glass. "I came here because I needed to talk to you."
"What is it?"
"It's about your life."
"What about it?" He lifted his glass and took a large gulp.
"Why? Just… why? Why would you live like this?"
"What's the 'this' you are implying?"
"Why did you live such a secluded life? Why didn't you live the normal life getting married and having kids and…" her voice faltered.
"I have the feeling the real question you're asking me is why I would commit myself to a woman from the future who would occasionally visit me for an hour before she would have to go to the next memory."
She bit her lower lip and she cautiously nodded. "Why did you?"
The usual side smirk she recognized so well from within the simulation appeared, plus with all the wrinkles. "It wasn't a decision I really made. I was in love and I enjoyed being with you. There was no one like you and…" he shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't want anyone else. I think I was around my late thirties when I truly decided I was willing to give marriage and kids up because the time I spent with you was worth it. You know, like… if I couldn't have those things with you, then I didn't want it."
It… it was touching. A smile spread on her face as her grip on her glass tightened. "I still don't know how you could choose me. We're fifty years apart and… what good did this even do?"
"It did all the good I needed," he answered. "I'm happy with my life. I'm incredibly grateful for being given the opportunity to know you and falling in love with you. It truly is the greatest gift in my life."
"But wouldn't you want to have kids and get married, there is not just me in this world. There are better people here than me."
"I don't want anybody else than you. I love you and I wouldn't change a thing." He reached out to her and placed his hand on her knee. "Just because I didn't have the usual milestones people want in their life doesn't mean my life is less fulfilling. This is the life I wanted and I would choose to live this life every time." A smile spread on his face. "Don't worry about me. I'm completely satisfied with my life. All I've ever wanted and needed is you."
She bit her lower lip.
She couldn't see how he could be so content with his life. He had lived in isolation and held onto a love he couldn't keep. Sitting around and waiting for her to come to spend just a few moments with before she had to go away again. She couldn't see how she could be fulfilled by mere moments with the one she loved throughout her life. But… Soul was happy. It was what he needed and if he was happy, it was good?
She exhaled and she smiled, gathering his hand in hers. "Why did you have to be fifty years older than me?"
He chuckled. "I could be your age if you logged in on the simulation."
He was right. When she logged out, he would be around her age. So if she logged in, they could really…
"Are you up for it?"
His usual smirk wrinkled his whole face. "I still got some energy left in this ole' body."
…
It didn't take long before she had helped him to his bedroom and plugged him into the simulation, including getting the co-pilot gear on his wrist. Before they knew it, she was logged in and dropped to the next available memory which happened to take place in his bedroom in his apartment.
"Maka…"
She turned around and there he was, fifty years younger and never before had he been more handsome. Thick white hair, no wrinkles and the most gorgeous red eyes she appreciated so much. The one feature that never aged. Always remained beautiful no matter what age he was.
"Soul…" she whispered and closed the gap between them, throwing her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He didn't hesitate one moment and returned the embrace just as fiercely.
"You're finally here…" his lips feathered over the shell of her ear. "I've waited so long…"
"You have?" she asked.
He nodded. "Almost two years."
Two years? That was a huge gap. Usually it was a year at most between the jumps from memory to memory, she wondered what had caused the big rift. Was there really no significant memory closer she could jump to? Or… could it be because of her? She didn't like the thought one bit.
"I'm sorry." She caressed his neck with her thumb.
He let out a short chuckle. "You don't even know what you're apologized about."
"All I need to know is I kept you waiting and that waiting has hurt you," she murmured. "And for that I am sorry."
"You are too considerate."
Her grip on him tightened as she rested her cheek against his leather jacket. This was it. Right here. Holding him awakened butterflied in her stomach and fluttered around. The sensation hadn't been present for years, she could barely recognize the nervousness and the… the sensation of falling in love. It was truly strange how she could fall in love with him when they had only known each other for a couple of days. He had wormed his way inside of her heart. And she didn't want the sensation to leave. Soul was a great guy. Greater than any other man she had ever met. Soul was genuine and right in that moment, she understood with clarity why Soul had waited for her like he had.
She could see herself loving him― she was already falling in love with him. He was the greatest man she knew. She could marry him. Have kids with him. He was… the one. The one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Grow old with him.
How cruel life was.
First they presented him to her, brought him into her life and to what? For her to fall in love with and then be broken the moment she was out of the simulation. Unlike him, she would have to deal with the aftermath. His whole life he had lived with her occasional visits. He had that. What they had had just lasted a couple of days for her. He would be gone. What would she do then?
"Why are you crying?" he asked.
She hadn't noticed it, but tears had trickled down her cheeks and wet his leather jacket.
"I'm sorry." She pulled away and she quickly wiped away her tears. "It just… it washed over me."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head. "No… but can I try something different?"
"Anything," he answered without hesitation. The trust he had in her never ceased to amaze her.
"Stand still." She cupped his cheeks, closed the gap until their lips barely touched. His warm breath hit her lips, stood completely still as she had instructed him. She inhaled a breath of courage before she closed the gap. His lips were warm. And soft. He kissed her softly, not pushing it to go further. His hands went to rest on her hips, thumbs caressing her sides as they kept on kissing.
She didn't want to stop. She was enchanted by his taste. His touch. It made the butterflies go haywire and made the delicious sensation of love spread throughout her body, heating the blood in her veins. Nothing mattered except right here. Right now, this wasn't a simulation. He wasn't fifty years older than her. They were no longer on the opposite side of the timeline. They were together. It was all that mattered.
Her hands trailed up to his neck and she finally ran her hands through his thick soft hair. She giggled against his lips when he dipped her like she had seen so many times in rom coms. They separated and his forehead rested against hers. His eyes so soft, but they sparkled. It was joy. She just knew it.
"That was a good first kiss," she whispered, her lips pulsing from the aftermath.
What she hadn't expected was the joy on his face sucked out in just a moment. "First… kiss?"
"Yes?" It hit her. For her this was their first kiss, but for him…
He pulled her up from the dip and backpedalled as he ran his hand through his hair. "No… don't tell me this really is our first kiss for you…"
"It is…" she sadly confirmed. This meant Soul wouldn't be sharing any kisses with her. This, it would only get worse for him. The intimacy would get fewer and fewer until she would freak on him for being independent in the simulation. This was really the prime of his life.
He bit his lower lip and he lowered his head. "I knew this would happen eventually…"
"Don't say it like that." She grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his head, giving it a good squeeze. "Simply because the kisses comes to an end doesn't mean the fun between us ends. Believe me, you enjoyed yourself just as much as now."
"It's not that." His grip on her tightened. "This means… you're going to fall out of love slowly."
She shook her head. "No. Fall in love." She lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles tenderly. "There may not be any more kisses shared between us, but what you will do from hereon is what made me get to this point. What you will do now is make me fall in love with you. This is your most important part. You got my love, now you will have to do the work for it."
"You're right." He offered her a weak smile. "It's time I charm my pants off just like you did."
"I did?"
"Yeah, you did." He pulled at her hand and rested his forehead against hers. "It didn't take you long though. You had me wrapped around your pinkie finger the moment you said 'hi'."
She giggled. "Well you, sir, you are very charming." She planted a kiss on his lips. "And Respectful." Another one. "And kind." She planted a long kiss. "And incredible and utterly perfect. For me."
"And I will always be just for you," he whispered, lips caressing hers. "I will always be yours only."
Those words should've scared her. For him to live a life waiting for her, but she knew he was happy, and she wanted to be just as committed to him as he was to her. She wanted to go through this journey. She wanted to fall in love with him. Getting to know him was everything she had ever wanted and needed.
New tears broke free from her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. "And there will always be a place in my heart with your name on it."
He cupped her face and wiped away her tears. She pulled at his leather jacket and closed the gap between them, kissing him desperately. Their time was limited. Every moment was precious and she wasn't going to let not a single one go to waste. She pulled at his leather jacket and she was pleased when he shrugged it off tossing it on the floor. Soon more clothes came off and he leaned her back against his king-sized bed. Her back was met by his soft mattress and the cotton sheets of his as her last piece of clothing exposed her.
…
The sunshine cracked through the gap between the curtains and fell on Soul's bare shoulders, the blanket barely covering his ass she couldn't get enough of. His eyes were peacefully shut as his back slowly rose and fell for every breath he took. Hair a mess from her fingers running through it and red marks on his back from her nails.
She enjoyed watching him sleep. He had been great. More than great. Being with someone who already knew your body had its perks. It was weird how he already knew what made her feel good, but it was a good sign. It meant they would have more time to do it again in a different memory. This wouldn't be their first and last time together. This would be repeated and she was more than eager to get involved again.
"Good morning," she greeted him when he groaned and cracked his eyes open.
A wide smile spread on his face. "Morning." His arms snaked around her and pulled her close to him. "I'm so happy you're still here…" he murmured against her skin as he planted kisses on her neck.
"I wouldn't want to leave you during the night especially after a night like this," she whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair. "It is probably already morning outside of the simulation…"
"Don't remind me." He completely buried his face in the crook of her neck. "I don't want you to leave. Not yet."
"I will have to move on to the next memory eventually."
"I know but…" he paused. "I love you. I don't want this to be the last of us."
"It won't be." She pulled away from him and cupped his cheeks, staring into his pleading eyes. "You will still have me. Just an earlier version of me. You know how this works."
He sighed heavily. "I know… I know… but on the bright side, this is only the beginning for you. You'll still have time to have me." He wiggled his eyebrows and she blew a raspberry.
"Oh please, like all I will do is sleep with you all the time. What if one of the members on my team checked in on me and found me sleeping with my client!"
"Trust me, it won't happen." He smirked so wide she was afraid his cheeks would tear. Of course he would know. This was the last time for him they would be intimate. And for her, it seemed like they still had some time to be as close as humanly possible.
"You know I trust you not to fool me into sleeping with you and get my ass fired."
"I wouldn't." He smirked as his hand slowly went lower and lower on her back. "But you do have a nice ass."
She playfully swatted his shoulder when he boldly gave it a good squeeze. "Don't tempt me. I got to get ready to head out. The others will come within just a few minutes and what would they do if they found me hooked up to the simulator already?"
"I'm sure you could come up with something." He closed the space between them and pressed a heated kiss on her lips. She eased into the kiss and snaked her arm around his waist, holding him as close as she could to her. Feeling his bare heated skin against her was intoxicating and she truly wished she could stay. But she couldn't.
She pulled away with a heavy sigh, her lips pulsing from his attention. "We got to stop. I-… I really need to get going."
"It's too bad…" he sighed heavily, resting his forehead against hers. "But before you go, I just want you to know that I'm not bothered by the fact we won't kiss anymore from now on. I sounded like an asshole yesterday and what I feel toward you is nowhere near just being physical."
A smile spread on her face at his thoughtfulness. She gave him a quick peck. "I already know."
…
The moment she had logged out of the simulation, she heard the door open and the footsteps of her colleague. Soul was still hooked up and she quickly went around the bed and pretended to hook him up the moment Wes and Liz entered the room.
"I knew you were already here. That eager to get started on work?" Liz spoke as she entered the bedroom.
"Yeah, there're still so many memories left to go through before I can actually start doing something."
"Yes, about that." Her eyes darted to Wes who stood beside her. "We need to talk in private."
"Is something wrong?" Wes asked worriedly.
"It's nothing you have to worry about," Liz waved it away. Maka swallowed down the knot in her throat, worried about what she would say. She had an idea and it wasn't good. She left the bedroom, closing the door after her and they found themselves in Soul's kitchen, taking a seat by the table.
"So what is it?"
Liz grimaced as she tightened her hands. "I know you want to do a good job, I know you want to help our clients, but our boss is getting impatient."
"He got to wait. Mr. Evans wanted a very vague request and I need to go through all of his memories to know what to alter to fulfil his request. If I alter anything now, it might just turn out worse."
"You can't just work with him, you know. We got other clients we need to help. You just got to hurry the process and do something." Liz shook her head. "Listen, I know it's rough to hear, but both you and I know just looking at his medical history shows this process is weakening him. We got to finish this up quickly so he can actually have a time with the happiness we give him. Not strain his body to the point he will pass away before you've altered any memories."
Her jaw tightened at the thought. She hated how Liz had also noticed it too, and she didn't have any knowledge in the medicine field. She had noticed how his state was getting worse, but it wasn't that bad. At least she tried to convince herself.
"I haven't fulfilled his wish." It was all she could say.
"Then hurry up. We got today to wrap things up before we got to leave to the next client."
…
She knew it would happen, she had prepared herself when the boss would pull the plug, but it still hurt beyond her expectation. It was hard to stay calm and collected in front of Liz even though she was breaking inside. She couldn't show Liz her deep connection to Soul, and it was breaking her bones keeping the pain that was tearing her flesh from her bones. She didn't want what she and Soul had to end. Not yet. She wasn't ready to let go of him quite yet. She still needed a couple of more days before she would have to say goodbye to him. There was no way she could say goodbye to him today. She couldn't. She refused!
"What's the matter?" Soul asked the moment the door clicked shut after Soul had asked Wes to leave so they could talk in private.
She bit her lower lip as she tried to keep her tears from breaking free. "The boss has informed me I have to wrap things up today." She came clean in one single breath.
It was like the words punched him in the gut. He squeezed his eyes shut as his head flopped down. "I understand…" he breathed. "We didn't have all the time in the world."
"I tried… I really tried to convince her we needed more time. I tried to tell her that but I―"
"Don't make this harder." He faced her and tears brimmed in his eyes. "I know you tried. I know you've given me all the time you could've given me. I'm so incredibly thankful for the time you've manage to give me."
"Don't say it like that. You should be screaming at me for not managing to give you more time." She marched over to his bed and took a seat, grabbing his old and wrinkled hand. "You should tell me to call my boss and demand more time, to do more to give us more time―"
"Maka…" he squeezed her hand as a tear broke free from his eye. "We both knew this would happen eventually. Let's not waste our precious time on crying when we can spend them being happy together."
"How are we supposed to be happy at a time like this?"
"Because we still have some time left to be with each other." He lifted her hand and moved it to his lips, kissing her knuckles tenderly. "We are still blessed with having today to be with each other. It could've been worse."
He was right. Their time was running out fast. They could spend the rest of their time either crying and mourning for the inevitable or they could push away the hurt and make the best of the time they had left. It wasn't just a day, it was a whole day with plenty of time to stuff with experience and happy memories.
"You've a point." She gave his hand a squeeze before she stood up. "Get ready to enter the simulator again."
…
She had never had that much sex in a day. She jumped from memory to memory, sharing a quick date, plenty of kisses which led to one thing. She tried to get through as many memories as possible to give him as many moments of them together as possible. At first it was like always. He never hesitated when she kissed him, he was always quick to close the gap between them, but for every memory she went through, he started growing more distant and cautious. It then hit her why.
She was reaching the very core where it all started.
He was starting to fall in love with her, or in her perspective, grow into a stranger.
She understood how Soul felt. It was difficult knowing the sweet and fluff were ebbing away. Now when she knew how she felt about him, it was difficult to let them go. All she wanted was to kiss him, hold him and wake up beside him, but once she reached the memory after when he confessed it was their first kiss; it broke her. It hurt.
"This is really freaky." Soul in his mid-twenties said after he had taken in the fact she had just appeared randomly inside of his apartment when he was playing video games on his TV. "Seriously, you need to stop doing that."
"Oh I can't because I've already visited you throughout your life." She plopped down on the couch beside him. "Besides, what would the fun be if I didn't show up at the most unexpected places?"
"One, you're breaking and entering my apartment. I could call the police on you."
"Please, like they would believe you. Besides, it's not breaking and entering if I appeared inside of your apartment." She smirked. He was rubbing off on her with his remarks. "I can't exactly see any signs of any breaking and entering."
His mouth tightened into a thin line. He paused the game and placed the controller on the coffee table. "Why are you even doing this to begin with?"
"It's a little complicated, but you requested me to enter your mind and fix your memories so you wouldn't have any regrets, but something happened and here we are in a tangle between time and space."
"That sounds too freaky to be true."
"It's freaky alright, but it allows us to meet." She smiled as slowly her hand snaked toward his resting on the couch, being as close as he allowed her to his young and strong hand without touching him. "It gave us the chance no one else has ever gotten to be together. We're… we are the true definition of star-crossed lovers."
"We aren't even lovers."
"I am yours, and I can tell you you will fall in love with me." A smile spread on her face. "You will love me."
He opened and closed his mouth rapidly, tongue visibly tumbling around in his mouth in search of the right words. "… I will love you?"
"Yeah," she whispered, head lowering and she remembered her own argument with herself. How he had forsaken all women in order to wait for her. They were in a special position. Maybe if… she knew he was happy waiting for her and loving her when she was there. He was content with that, but was it really a way to live? She could change that. She was at the core of his memories. They were at a strange tangle between time and space, maybe if she never told him about where to find the co-pilot wrist gear and about her… he would forget about her and find something more meaningful with his life.
The thought made her stomach twist and her heart to ache. She didn't want him to forget about her— them. She deeply cared about him and she wanted to be the woman who called herself his wife. She wanted him to be hers, but he couldn't. They could make each other promises of love and then what? He would wait for her his whole life and for her? It would be like a fling for a short period of her life and then what would happen to her? She couldn't let Soul do that to himself. He deserved better than to live a life of loneliness.
"Answer me this, Soul, do you want to get married and have kids?"
He raised his eyebrow questioningly. "Yeah, I guess, but not right now. I don't even know you."
So he wanted to. But it wasn't something she could provide for him. She bit her lower lip and she pulled back her hands in favour of fisting her skirt. It was difficult. Really hard. She wanted to set him free, wanted him to live like all the others in his surrounding, but she was torn with what he wanted and what would be good for him. He wanted to wait for her and love her, but it wasn't a good way of life. How could he always wait for her? It wasn't like a long distance relationship when they could still skype with each other. They were in different time spaces, he was fifty years older than her. They didn't have a future. What they had was impossible. Something that was only meant to be written in the stars, but never be touched. They had gone through something incredible. They had found each other against all the odds and fallen in love with each other, but to what price?
Their relationship wasn't going anywhere and… she could change it. She could give his life more meaning than to wait around for some girl frozen at her age while he would grow older for every meeting they had. It was for the best to set him free.
"Listen…" she took a breath of courage. "I only want what's best for you even if it hurts me… You don't have to see me—"
Before she knew it the world started shaking. Picture frames fell from their nails and the glass shattered, shards scattering over the floor. Soul clung onto the couch as the TV swayed unstably.
"E-earthquake?!" he exclaimed.
It wasn't. Something was wrong. In the background, far into her own mind and out in the reality, she could hear the machine going haywire.
Soul!
She quickly opened up her menu and her heart dropped when she found his heartbeat going haywire. Without hesitation, she quickly logged off and she removed her headgear. The dialysis machine was going crazy and Soul was hollering in pain.
It was a battle. One she wasn't ready to lose. With the help of the drugs he kept close to him and her knowledge, she managed to stabilize his condition and buy him some more time.
He was high on his drugs, eyes half-lidded as he rested his hand near his catheter which hooked him up to the dialysis.
"This is enough," Wes spoke from his seat beside Soul's bed. His knuckles white as he gripped onto his cane. "Soul you can't endure this treatment anymore. You will have to settle for the changes Miss. Albarn has done on you. It's too straining on your body."
"No," he whispered, head lulling toward the sides lazily. "We have to keep on going. I'm… it's not finished yet."
"You are too unstable. Your body is weak and I'm afraid if we hooked you up to the simulator again, you might not be so lucky this time," she spoke. It was true. Liz had warned her of this. His body was growing weaker and slowly dying, the simulation was harsh on the body as it was, but adding dialysis on top of that and it would be draining the person of all their energy.
"No." he shook his head, hand shaking madly as he tried to lift it up toward her. Without hesitation, she grabbed it and squeezed it. "You… you have one left."
"It doesn't matter, Soul. You could die if I hook you up to it again."
"You have to listen to her," Wes pitched in. "You can't go through that again without getting hurt."
"Screw my health. I'm… I'm dying anyway." His hand tightened on hers. "Maka… you still have one memory left… you have to go in and tell me where I can find the wrist gear. I need to know in order to close the loop…"
Her mouth tightened. "Soul…" she started. "This might be a good thing. Since I won't tell you, your life can change for the better. You could find a better partner to love. Someone who's actually there for you and who can be there to get married and have kids—"
He shook his head madly. "I can't believe you even suggested it. It was my choice to wait for you and I'm happy with it." He lulled his head toward her and stared into her eyes. "Don't you think you gave me a choice by telling me? I could've chosen to forget the information or stop loving you and be with someone else, but it is what I wanted. I'm not less happy because of it. I'm incredibly happy and blessed to have met you."
"But you want kids and marriage, I can't give that to you," Maka said as she squeezed his hand.
"Does it look like it has bothered me?"
She inhaled and slowly shook her head. "… no."
"Exactly. The woman of my dreams triumphs kids and marriage. I don't want it if I can't have it with you and I've been fine with it my entire life. I never hesitated or thought twice about it." A weak smile spread on his face as and all of his wrinkles appeared on his face. "I love you and I don't want to love anybody else than you."
He was right. It was never a question to give him the information or not, to give him the information had always been the right decision. He had always had a choice. If he wasn't happy waiting for her, he wouldn't have done that. But he loved her and he was content with his life. Happy when she was there and when she was gone, he was still happy and in love.
She was truly lucky she had such an amazing man like him.
"You're right. It's your choice to choose." She pulled her hand away and stood up. "I'll prepare the simulator."
"You can't be serious. He could die!" Wes exclaimed.
"And so will I. We all will day one day, but this is Soul's wish and I'm willing to comply." Maka calmly explained.
Wes's mouth opened and closed rapidly.
"This is what I want, Wes. I want this so badly."
Wes's mouth grew thin and wrinkles covered his cheeks. "Do whatever then."
…
Quickly she gathered the momentos and jumped to the next memory. She was once again in his apartment and this time, he wasn't as calm. Soul screamed at the top of his lungs and tossed the plate filled with pasta at her.
"Burglar!" he hollered at the top of his lungs. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"
"Hold on, I'm not a burglar!" She quickly dodged the spatula that came flying at her. "I'm Maka Albarn, you know me!"
"Get out of my apartment!" He grabbed a hold of the frying pan and held it above his head.
"I'm not going to hurt you!" She screamed and dropped to the floor, covering her head when he brought down the pan only to stop just above her arms.
"Then get out of my apartment," he hissed threateningly.
"I will," she commented. "But first I have to give you information. I don't have much time."
He raised his eyebrow. "What info?"
She knew she was pressed on time, but she couldn't help but to admire him. He looked really good. He had to be around mid-twenties. He certainly was really handsome with his stubby cheeks, wild white hair and those vibrant crimson eyes of his.
He was really hot.
"You have to remember this. If you want to see me again in the future, in the year 2018, you will have to contact a company named Shibusen Corporation and ask for Doctor Maka Albarn to do the procedure. Get me out of the room and get the wrist gear in my blue bag. It will be close to your bed so all you have to do is get me out of the room and you will reach it."
His eyes fluttered. "What are you even talking about?"
"Promise me you will remember this?"
"Sure whatever but—"
The wind was knocked out of him the moment she moved the frying pan away and hugged him tightly.
This was it. The last memory. This was the last time she would see him like this. Where their love started. This incredible simulation where she found something she never thought she needed as badly as she did.
This was the end of it.
"I love you…" she whispered in his ear before she logged out.
…
She lay in his bed, head resting on his shoulder and she held him. It had been easy enough to convince Liz on the phone to stay the night to watch over his condition once she knew of his kidney failure earlier that day. She had a medical degree and she knew what she was doing, so Liz had no grounds to reject her request.
Her hand ran over his shoulder as her nose nuzzled his neck.
If someone told her she would fall in love with a man fifty years older than her, she would call bullshit on it immediately. There was nothing sexy about an old man with wrinkles and minimum hair on their head. She could say she didn't find his body attractive except for his unbearable and utterly beautiful red eyes. The one body part that remained the same throughout the years. She could get lost in his eyes and dream back to the day she first kissed him. But this man, he also had a heart of gold. They had been unfortunate to be born fifty years apart from each other, but they had the incredible luck for their ways to cross and fall in love. They had an age gap that was impossible. With their age difference, they couldn't live together and enjoy life together. They couldn't get married nor have kids. All they had was their love, and it was enough. She loved him. She loved his kindness, his patience and his sarcasm. He was… he truly was for her. His age didn't change that. She had been in his life from his mid-twenties to his early seventies. She had the honour and pleasure to witness his life. She had witnessed so much of his life. His first company party. First promotion. His move to a different city. All the laughs and the tears he shed. And her favourite, the moment Soul introduced her to Wes who spat out his wine and eyes fluttering in astonishment because she was real. She loved him. Not for his body although at certain ages it had been very fine, but for what was inside of him. The person stuck inside of the aging body.
She was so happy she had met him and fell in love with him.
"So this is it?" she whispered. "Tomorrow I'll have to leave."
"It won't be the end." He rubbed her back comfortingly. "I will call you every day and you can always come and visit me whenever."
"I promise I will visit you ever weekend and I'll call you every break." Her eyes fluttered shut. "I don't want to let go of what we have."
"Me neither."
She loved this man. Now when the simulation wasn't an option anymore, she wasn't going to walk away because of that. She still loved him and she would be with him until they permanently parted ways.
She cupped his cheek and she steered his face toward hers. He wasn't the beauty he had been when he was younger, but those eyes, they stayed almost the same. They were still the same beautiful shade of red she admired so. The colour of wine and the red on the plaid skirt she adored to wear so much when she was young. This, this right here is the man she was in love with and age didn't matter anymore. There wasn't fifty years between them. They were both here, together at last.
"You don't have to kiss me… I know I'm not how I was when I was younger…" His voice faltered when she rested her forehead against his.
"I don't care," she murmured and she closed the space between him, kissing him.
She fell asleep beside him. Their very first night together outside of the simulation.
And unfortunately, their last.
The next morning, he wouldn't wake up. The machines beeped loudly and she knew, no medical help could help him out. He was gone. He was truly gone. When they were finally together, his body had to give in.
After the ambulance had taken him away, she had hid away around the house, bawling her sorrow out, feeling her heart torn out of her chest and bleeding out the pain within her.
Life was cruel. So incredibly cruel. When they finally had each other, they had to be parted again. She knew he didn't have much time left, but she hoped they had more time together than one night.
"So this is where you have been hiding." Her head snapped and she found Wes waddling over with his cane, his own tear marks on his cheeks.
"Leave me alone," she sobbed as she desperately tried to wipe away her tears to no vain.
"You know he wouldn't want to see you crying."
"Does it look like I give a shit about that? He's gone! When we finally were together, he had to go and die!"
Wes stayed silent as he stayed beside her. "I thought he was foolish. I didn't believe him at first when he told me he had met you. I thought he had finally gone nuts and we had to get him some help but… you were real."
She didn't say anything, couldn't say anything. The pain she was enduring prevailed and she cried it all out.
"He was happy, you know. He lived a curious life and as much as people asked when he would get married and have kids, he always so confidently said he already had someone. Someone who held his heart and who he would wait patiently to return. It was an odd life, but he was so incredibly happy. You truly made him happy."
And it was the truth she wanted to hold on forever. Soul Evans, he lived a life waiting for someone he loved so dearly, who he didn't know when she would return, but he kept on waiting because he was in love with her. None of the typical milestones in life mattered, he threw it all away to be with her, and he was incredibly happy without it. He was happy and in love, he had everything he wanted and needed.
His life wasn't spoiled. He lived the way he wanted to live it and she was incredibly lucky she met him. Fell in love with him. She would never stop loving him, and she would never forget about him. Soul Evans would forever be a part of her, her one true love in life. She would love him till she took her last breath and when the sand ran out, she knew they would find their way back to each other and that time, they wouldn't let go of each other.