Hard Candy

Summary: Yukinoshita does sinful things with her mouth, as expected.

*

"Yukinoshita..." To my absolute mortification, my voice had come out hoarse with that dangerous sentiment that inevitably leads to the total ruin of staunchly commited loners like me... desire. I could only hope that she wouldn't notice, distracted as she was, her mouth full of tumescent purple hardness.

One that I had unsuspectingly unwrapped thinking the room to be empty before being caught in the act, thanks to the feline-like noiseless arrival of the one and only Ice Queen. I swear, one of these days she's going to grow a tail. Not that it would change anything. Cats are just as condescending as Yukinoshita Yukino. Is that why she's so terribly fond of them?

"What rotten thing do we have here, Hikigaya-kun?" Patronizing as always.

Now I'm usually levelheaded in moments of crisis. Being a recluse gives you the privilege of ruminating over possible catastrophes and designing suitable counter-strategies. But unfortunately, I had failed to anticipate the possibility of getting caught while doing something so flagrantly uncharacteristic on my part. My carefully cultivated persona faced imminent annihilation unless I did something drastic.

And drastic I did.

"Would you like to try it?", the treacherous words had escaped my mouth even as I held the incriminating evidence in my sticky fingers. As I uttered those condemning words, I readied myself for the inevitable reprisal. I could take it. A lifetime of embarrassments had prepared me for this.

Apparently it had not been enough to see her actually lick her lips in anticipation.

It was definitely not equipped to watch her wordlessly take the offending item out my hands and put it in her mouth, her expression unnervingly childlike.

Normally, I would have been delighted to watch Yukinoshita indulging in the glorious gastronomic experience that is eating a lollipop, but my mind was going haywire over the implications of such an anomalous situation.

Since when did Yukinoshita succumb so easily to temptation? Even more importantly, how could she just pass up an opportunity to insult my habitually battered intelligence?

I had barely gotten over my shock when she started making those tantalizing sounds. Unnecessarily prolonged sucking noises that had no right to sound so-- so fucking erotic.

I felt my blood rush to all the wrong places.

Getting turned on by the sight of a girl eating a lollipop. Brava, Hikigaya Hachiman. You certainly make the romcom gods proud. What's next? Me kissing away the syrup staining her luscious lips?

Her name reflexively rolled off my parched tongue in a throaty moan.

Shitshitshit.

Terrified, I held my breath.

Yukinoshita went on sucking the dastardly piece of confectionery as if there were no tomorrow, oblivious to my shameful articulation of her name.

God be praised for the tiny mercies.

I endured the rest of the unintended torture with my lips pressed together in a superhuman act of will. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought that the all too brief gleam in those beautiful eyes was one of mischief.

*

p.s. So Hikki has a sweet tooth. Plum-flavoured lollies with a generous amount of filling. Why, what did you think?