Love Claus(£)

Summary: Hikigaya Hachiman contracts the Christmas spirit.

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The curse of Yuletide is upon us all again.

Exaggerated merriment, hysterical shopping sprees, unapologetic massacre of trees: all in the name of love and joy and kindness and magic and ah... I forget the rest of the catalogue. First it was the Christian fathers. Mirthful saturnalia hijacked by the Saviour. Now it's His turn to be usurped. Do you know who Santa Claus really is? The avuncular persona of Mammon. But whatever. Jingle bells are busy jingling as I join the throng in pursuit of consumerist contentment.

In other words, I'm shopping.

My retina are getting bedazzled by a bewildering array of festive apparel and accessories. Why do people feel the need for overpriced sequined scraps during the holiday season? Didn't some wise guy say that beware of any enterprise that requires new clothes? When I voiced this sentiment to Komachi, all I got was a patronizing "Baka-nee!" Seriously. If some strapping punk in an Armani would have said this instead of Hikigaya Hachiman, people would have ate it up. But whatever. Riajuu is what riajuu wears.

So why am I here contrary to my convictions? Getting Christmas presents for impending awkward socialization involving too many pretty girls, obviously. Know what's worse than a pretty girl who doesn't exactly dislike you? There being more than one of them and all of them being apparently interested in you. Yes, somewhere along the line the great Hikigaya Hachiman has become the reluctant protagonist of a harem romcom.

So here I am shopping as a preemptive measure against expected assaults of a romantic kind. I'll suavely establish the fact that I see everyone the same. Well, almost everyone. One girl's kinda-sorta more equal than others. Maybe.

Hmm. Would a certain someone see in something as utilitarian as a scarf anything more than a univocal gesture of friendship? Perhaps not, considering I'm getting everyone a scarf.

Use those brains, Hikigaya. What woollen piece of clothing proclaims "I'm more than willing to be more than friends"?

"Fancy finding you here, Hikigaya-kun."

Uh-oh.

I reluctantly eye the predatory female watching me with thinly veiled glee.

"It's Christmas time, Haruno-san."

"So Hikigaya-kun finally got himself someone special. Could it be my dear imotou?"

Hell no. I'm not telling you anything, woman.

"I've a little sister, in case you have forgotten." Yes, that's safe.

"Oh?" Haruno Yukinoshita gives a Chesire grin. "Planning to go the Roman way, are we? Though I can't really say that I didn't see something like this coming, it's still disappointing, Hikigaya-kun."

The fudge?

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Haruno-san," I reply stiffly.

She gives a coy smile.

"You hardly see men fishing for gifts in the jewellery aisle for their kawaii imotou. Of course, it's not very nice of me to presume such things. But you and I are well past bland niceties now, aren't we?"

Damn that Machiavelli of a woman!

"What can I say? Komachi is rather... exacting."

"Of course she is. Well, I'll be on my way then. Good luck finding the perfect gift for your sister, Hikigaya-kun."

With characteristic wiliness, she slinks away.

I sigh in relief.

This shopping thing is turning out to be too much of an ordeal.

--

As it happily turns out, even the Ice Queen thaws when it comes to Pan-san bracelets. Take that, Elsa! Who would have thought? Even Hikigaya Hachiman can woo a woman.

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A.N: So this was supposed to be out on Christmas but, you know, the merry ways of procastination. Anyways, nothing says holiday season like half baked cookies and stories. Enjoy the bad after taste. And oh, wish you guys you-know-what. Hopefully this one will have more of little kindnesses and less of civilized barbarities. Don't forget to seize unto the fleeting spots of sunshine. Godspeed:3