Hours passed. The wreckage shrank in the distance behind her. She covered one mile, then two, then three. The sun swung overhead and descended toward the horizon. Her throat began to ache with thirst.
She would have been Taken if she hadn't become a Guardian. And becoming a Guardian had made her just as much of a monster, anyway. Despair enfolded her. She was trapped inside her own life as much as she was trapped on Mars with no hope of escape. She had ruined her relationship with her ghost, and had driven away the only other Guardian she knew. It had been so easy to be cruel. Now she was going to die of thirst over and over until Niki got sick of resurrecting her.
The sun touched the horizon. Lethia kept walking, even though her feet and legs were sore. Already it was growing cold, the evening wind picking up. She would freeze to death in a few hours. If she kept moving, maybe she could stay warm a little longer.
The sun slowly shrank and vanished. The air grew frigid. Lethia hugged herself and kept walking. Shame goaded her on and on. Maybe if she walked far enough, she'd leave it behind. It was illogical, but she kept moving. If she lost herself in the desert, she'd never have to drain the life out of anyone ever again.
It grew too dark to watch her footing on the rocky ground. She stumbled and fell. It felt so good to lie on the ground, to rest her tired feet and legs, that she stayed there. The cold sank into her, but it didn't hurt as bad as her joints. Lethia fell asleep.
"Guardian. Guardian, wake up."
She opened one eye. Niki hovered close to her face, his blue eye blindingly bright.
"You must get up, Guardian. Please."
Lethia slowly moved her limbs. She was numb with cold. How much time had passed? The stars had wheeled to a different position. She pushed herself to a sitting position and sat there, head hanging.
"Please, Guardian," Niki begged. "The Hive are sweeping the desert. They've flown by twice already. We have to move."
She struggled to her feet, fell over another rock, and lay still. "There's no point," she mumbled, her mouth so dry she could barely form words. "I kill anything I touch."
Niki flew back and forth in agitation, healing her. The ache left her legs, but she was still cold and thirsty. Slowly she climbed to her feet again. Niki shone his headlight at her feet, guiding her along.
Lethia was dazed with exhaustion and dehydration. When she looked up from the circle of light at her feet, spots swam before her eyes. Or were they the lights of passing ships? Knife-shaped fighters, like the ones she had fought in space. She lifted the grenade launcher and aimed it. But no, she'd forgotten the tether. She felt along her belt, slowing to a halt.
"What's wrong?" Niki said.
"The tether," Lethia mumbled. "I can't find it."
"Guardian," Niki said, voice trembling as if he was holding back a panic attack, "that was back before the ship crashed. Remember?"
Reality trickled back in. That was right - they were on Mars now. But why were the same knife ships cutting through the stars? She stood still, watching them.
Niki flew around her. "They're going to find us," he whimpered. "The Hive kill Guardians and ghosts. And my Guardian is sick. Please, Guardian ..."
Lethia was sitting down, although she didn't remember deciding to sit. "I don't hate you, Niki," she told him. "I'm sorry I said that." Had she said that? She must have, at one point, if he believed it. "I don't think you meant to turn me into a Voidwalker. It's my fault. I must have had this power in me all along. I'm just a ..." When had she stretched out among the rocks? They prodded her ribcage with distant pain. "I'm just a parasite now," she mumbled into the dirt. "Sucking ... power ... from ... others ..."
Niki made a sobbing sound nearby. Lethia thought she felt his grief, like an ache in her own heart. But that was crazy - he was only a little robot.
She drifted. She was walking through her tiny house in Reefedge City, looking for a book on her shelves. But she couldn't remember what it looked like. Frustrated, she began pulling books off the shelves and tossing them on the floor. Something was behind the books, something dark that gazed at her through clusters of green eyes.
Lethia startled awake. Green eyes surrounded her, studying her from out of the darkness. Hive.
"Gar-Gar-Gaurdian," Niki stuttered. Lethia spotted him in the claws of an alien she couldn't make out. All she could see was Niki's eye glowing through its gnarled fingers.
"Niki," she whispered.
"They're draining my Light," he said, his voice distorted and modulated. "I can't ... I can't ... Goodbye ... Guardian ..."
Heat boiled through Lethia's brain. All reason abandoned her - there was only the sight of Niki about to die in the dark. She lunged forward, grabbed the arm that held him, and tore the energy out of its owner.
Screams erupted around her. The hand released Niki, who staggered in midair. Lethia snatched him up and clutched him to her chest. But Lethia had Void Light burning inside her now, stolen from the alien. She wheeled and threw her bomb one-handed at the largest cluster of green eyes. The bomb exploded in a violent flash of purple, illuminating at least fifty Hive thralls clustered around her. The bomb sent bodies flying. Then darkness fell, and they swarmed her.
Twice more she hurled her bomb into their midst. Twice more they attacked, claws and teeth tearing at her. She finally fell beneath them, too weakened and exhausted to keep fighting.
She didn't hear the aliens shriek in rage, didn't hear the whisper of knives finding their mark in the vitals of each one. She didn't even hear when silence fell, every alien dead.
But when Ferral knelt and gently rolled her over, she opened her eyes. Her torn, bloodied hand still clutched Niki to her chest. He blinked up into Banner's spotlight.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ferral exclaimed. His eyes glowed a worried yellow-white against the darkness.
"Don't touch me," Lethia said. "I'm a Voidwalker." Her eyelids slid closed, the blue-green glow fading. Her hand fell away from Niki.
Niki slowly floated into the air, trembling. "Oh, she's dying. What a horrible feeling. Guardian, hold on." He opened his shell, expanding into a sphere of Light.
Nearby, Banner added his own healing beam, boosting his weary brother ghost's power. Together they healed Lethia's torn back, the claw and tooth marks the thralls had inflicted on her. Then they pulled her back from the edge of death, where she had been teetering.
Lethia opened her eyes again and sat up. She tucked her hands under her arms and sat with her head bowed.
"What happened?" Ferral demanded. "Why are you way out here?"
"You left us," Niki said accusingly. "My Guardian is dying of thirst."
"I came back after a few hours," said Ferral sulkily. "I thought some time alone might do her good. Instead, I find a crashed warship and a squad of dead Cabal. I've been trying to find you ever since. I only got lucky when her void bombs went off. Like shooting off fireworks."
Lethia said nothing and didn't move.
Niki looked at her, then back at Ferral, his eye flickering a little. "She's running from her power."
Ferral blinked at the ghost, then at Lethia. "What? Why?"
"Because I suck the life out of living things," Lethia murmured. "I'm a monster. Don't touch me. I might do it to you."
Ferral nodded in comprehension. "Oh. Right. Voidwalker. Well, I'm a Nightstalker Hunter, if that makes you feel any better. I use Void Light, too."
Lethia's head jerked up. She stared at him, wide-eyed. "You can - how -" Her voice cracked and she coughed, a dry, painful cough.
"I've got water on the sparrow," Ferral said, holding out a hand. "Come on, let me help you."
Lethia hesitated, looking at his hand. "But ... what if I hurt you?"
"I'm a Guardian," he said impatiently. "I'll live."
She slowly took his hand. His Light blazed through the contact, brighter and far more powerful than any alien she had touched. She could steal it so easily. Holding her breath, trying not to draw it in, she let him pull her to her feet and guide her over the rocky ground.
Focused on restraining her own vampiric power, she didn't notice Niki until she heard him hit a rock with a metallic plink. He lay on the ground a few feet behind her, his eye fuzzed with static. She released Ferral and staggered back to pick up her ghost. Niki didn't respond to her touch. He had Light, too, but not like Ferral's. She had the impression that Niki's Light was going out.
"One of the Hive aliens was draining his Light," she croaked, holding him out to Ferral. "Can we save him?"
All she could see of Ferral's face was his glowing yellow-white eyes. "Poor thing. But you're the one who revived Banner. I should be asking you."
Lethia wanted to argue that she didn't know how she had fixed Banner, that it had been intuition. But trying to talk only made her cough again.
Cradling her ghost, she made it to the sparrow somehow. Ferral made her sit on the ground and drink cup after cup of water. Slowly she revived, the awful confusion clearing from her brain.
"Niki," she whispered. "Don't die."
The static-laden eye flicked toward her face. He heard her, but was too weak to respond.
"Climb on the sparrow," Ferral told her, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. "I found us shelter for the night. Assuming I can find it again in the dark."
He put her in front of him, and drove with his arms around her to keep her from falling off. Lethia was thankful for his closeness and warmth. She kept one arm curled around Niki. As with Banner, she followed her intuition about him. And intuition told her that Niki needed warmth, the same as Banner had. His bent shell felt so cold.
Ferral guided the sparrow across the desert to a row of cliffs. Flowing water had once undercut the cliffs in many places, hollowing out a series of shallow caves. Ferral drove the sparrow into one of these caves, where he had already piled most of the gear they had brought with them. He spread out blankets for a bed, then offered Lethia a can of cold soup. She wearily ate half, but pushed it aside when it began sticking in her throat. She crawled into the blankets and curled herself around her ghost.
Ferral lay beside her in the blankets. After a while, he said, "I'm sorry for leaving you."
Lethia remembered the way they had parted. Fresh shame burned through her. "I deserved it. I've treated you abysmally. You and Niki both."
"Can't argue with that," Ferral said. "But I haven't been easy to live with, either."
Lethia lay there, feeling as if she had broken to pieces inside. So many things had changed so fast. The things she had believed as an Awoken had been proven superficial and false. She'd been turned into a Guardian and developed a power that terrified her. And she was stranded on Mars. The ghost she had blamed was slowly dying.
"No," she murmured, "you've treated me better than I deserved. After the way I treated you and Niki ... you should have left me to the Hive." She ran a finger around Niki's eye-lens, where he lay against her heart. He watched her, his eye still distorted with static.
"I couldn't do that," Ferral said. He heaved a sigh. "You saved my ghost, and by extension, me. I owe you for that, at least."
"I wish I understood Guardians better," Lethia said. "In the Reef, we're so busy with our own affairs, we categorize Guardians as an irritation and move on. I had no idea the extent of their power. And now ... here I am. One more monster with the power to kill."
"I've known some pretty monstrous Voidwalkers," Ferral admitted. "Guardians who really get off on the whole vampire thing. Then I've met some who only use it for healing. The best doctor in the Tower is a Voidwalker."
Lethia turned to look at him. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," Ferral replied. "Your problem right now is a lack of control. Once you learn that, you can use it to kill ... or heal. It's up to you."
Lethia returned her gaze to her ghost. She'd already healed one ghost - she could heal Niki, too. After all, he was a robot, right? It was just a matter of using Light to recharge him.
Inside her head, she thought to him, "What do you need in order to get well?"
"I need Light," came his voice through their bond. "And ... and ... oh, I'm ashamed to say it."
"What?" Maybe there were certain parts he needed.
"I need you to like me," Niki said mournfully.
The words hit Lethia like a slap in the face. Maybe she really had been picking up feelings from him, and hadn't just been hallucinating. He needed her to like him? Ghosts had emotional needs? She took stock of how she had treated him and realized that she had been very cold, indeed.
"And I need you to want me," Niki went on. "I tried to just ... leave you alone. Since you didn't want me at all. But I just ... Guardian, it's killing me with loneliness."
She clutched him a little tighter, remorse filling her. "I'm sorry ... I didn't know."
"I'm sorry I turned you into a Guardian," Niki burst out. "I should have asked, but there wasn't time. It was either bond at that second, or lose you to the Dark. I thought we could work things out afterward, but you shut me out." His voice became increasingly modulated, and yet tearful. "And oh, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. Please forgive me. Don't hate me anymore."
His cry pierced her heart. This little robot, this tiny light who had chosen her, was begging for forgiveness and affection. Just like a human being. She'd vastly misunderstood the nature of ghosts, and had wronged him deeply with her scorn.
"I'm sorry, too," she thought, a lump growing in her throat. "And I do want you. I just didn't understand. Please don't die. Stay with me and be my ghost."
A little blue Light wept out of Niki's eye, trickled across the lens, and dripped off, where it vanished. "That means so much to me. I can ... I know how you can heal me. It'll be easier than Banner was."
"Tell me how."
"The power to steal Light works in the other direction. You can take your own Light and give it to someone else."
Lethia looked at her free hand. "But ... it works when I touch someone."
"Lay a hand on your heart," Niki said. "Your Light is there."
Lethia pressed a hand to her chest. She felt her own energy burning there, which was a very strange sensation. She plucked at her own Light and drew out a tiny glint. Unlike the purple Void Light, this was shimmering gold. She touched it to Niki's core.
The static cleared from his eye at once. He made a sound like a sigh. His shell segments loosened and drooped a little, letting Light shine from underneath. "That feels amazingly better. And it's warm. I've been so cold for so long."
Lethia tucked the blanket around him. "If you need more Light, let me know."
Niki's eye light flicked into a smile emote. "Thank you. For ... for wanting me."
"I want you enough to save you from the Hive," she thought. "Now rest. You've had a long day."
Ferral sat up and looked at the smiling ghost. "Oh, you fixed him. Good. You decide to be nice to him, for once?"
Lethia's face burned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You hit him. Guardians don't do that. At least, good Guardians don't."
Lethia looked down at the innocent blue eye watching her. Fresh shame joined her already extensive collection. "Yes. I've decided to be nice."
"They don't do well if you don't." Ferral lay back down, stiff and irritated. "I honestly thought you were going to just walk. Abandon your ghost. Head back to the Reef and pretend none of this ever happened."
The idea was tempting, but impossible. "I'm a Guardian now," Lethia said in despair. "Guardians are second class citizens, and they're not allowed into the Dreaming City. Besides, the Taken have probably killed everyone in Reefedge by now. There's nobody left to vouch for me."
"So we're in the same boat," Ferral said dryly. "Outcasts from our own kind. Bound to protect them anyway. Fun, isn't it?"
"Nobody likes you when you're sarcastic," Lethia snapped.
"You're one to talk," Ferral retorted. He mimicked her. "'I didn't know Guardians had souls'."
"I really didn't know!" Lethia snapped, propping herself up on one elbow to glare at him. "I've heard my whole life that Guardians are mindless undead puppeted by their ghosts."
Ferral laughed, shaking his head. "That explains so much. No wonder they hate us. They've gotten everything about us wrong." He put both arms behind his head. "But man, bring the Hive mothership in, and who does the Reef scream for? Those undead Guardians. Nice to know we're useful."
"Bitter, much?" Lethia snapped.
"Maybe," Ferral replied. "Being disowned does that to you. Then you come along and rub my face in it."
"I'm sorry, all right?" Lethia said. "This is new to me. I didn't ask for this life, and our people didn't ask to be Taken. But it happened. I'm still trying to cope."
"Sure, Miss Voidwalker," Ferral said. "So you cope by manipulating life energy."
Lethia's anger flashed into fury. "I can't help it! It just happened that way!"
"All Guardians choose to use the aspect of Light most compatible with them," Ferral said. "There's also solar and arc, but you took things straight to void."
Lethia sat up, eyes burning in the darkness, fists clenched. "If you don't shut up, I'll see how much Light I can tear out of you."
Ferral produced a shimmering purple knife out of nowhere. It floated above his palm. "Go ahead. You'll be dead before you can touch me."
They stared at each other for a tense moment, each waiting for the other to make a move.
Suddenly Ferral laughed, let his knife vanish, and lay back in the blanket. "You know, I don't even care. Go ahead, kill me."
Lethia sat there, taken aback.
"I've died before," Ferral said. "Banner resurrects me. I've even died to Voidwalkers in the Crucible. I'm not afraid of you."
"Dare I ask what the Crucible is?" Lethia snapped.
"Guardian training," Ferral replied. "And also our sport."
Lethia glared at his fire-like eyes in the darkness, which was all she could see of him. "You are the most arrogant, self-centered asshole I've had the displeasure to meet. I'm going to sleep, now."
She lay with her back to him and wrapped the blanket around herself, facing Niki again.
Ferral chuckled quietly. "You're not bad, yourself, princess."
Lethia fell asleep imagining all the ways she wanted to murder him.