Remus and I exchanged Christmas presents in secret, to keep up the appearance we don't know each other. The moment came the second day back from break, when he planned to share lunch with me in the Kitchens. I was a little surprised he remembered them, and I commented on it.

He hunched his shoulders with a sheepish expression. "I actually showed this to Sirius, James, and Peter. They like to come down here for midnight snacks."

I stared at him with wide eyes. "You told them about this place?" Betrayal made my blood feel hot, and I could see the purple of my magic zipping through my veins. "Why did you tell them, Remus? This is one of the only places I can come to for peace, and you fucking ruin it?!" The Kitchens were one of two places in the entire castle where I felt the safest. Now I only had the Room of Requirement.

Remus knew he was in trouble. His hazel eyes widened, and I knew he was going to try and pull the puppy-dog eyes. "I'm sorry, Rosabell. James and Sirius were complaining one night and they wouldn't stop, so I just said I knew where we could get some food. I didn't think it meant that much to you."

Scoffing in disgust I leaned my forehead on my hand. "You're serious? You know I get shit from the other Slytherins, literally the only one in this castle who knows, and you're telling me you just didn't think about it? Didn't think about how this is one of the few safe spaces I have?"

I felt a vicious satisfaction at the look of shame in his eyes. He deserved to feel guilty. "No. It didn't even cross my mind. You know I would never do this on purpose! They were hungry, and the Kitchens are for everybody."

"If they were for everybody, then everyone would be here!" I scrubbed my eyes with my fingers and muttered, "God damn it."

A hand was hesitantly placed on my shoulder, but I brushed it off. "No, Remus, just – you don't get it." I rummaged through my bag in angry silence, pulling out his christmas present and shoving it into his chest. "Here."

Remus handed back a rectangular package wrapped in blue paper. "I am sorry, Rosabell."

I sighed, still feeling put-out. "Yeah, well, too late. I didn't know what to get you so," I shrugged, and gestured at the small present in his hands, "there."

Remus smiled weakly. "I'm sure I'll like it no matter what it is."

I hummed and ripped the paper off of my present. "You say that now." Holding the book in my hands, I turned it over so I could see the cover. A brown wolf stared at a sky filled with stars and a full moon. I looked up with a raised eyebrow. "What's this?"

He'd ripped the paper off of his present with one hand ready to take the lid off the box. "The book you gave me had a lot of mistakes. I've read a lot of books about It, and so far that one is the most accurate." Remus lifted the lid and peered into the thin white box.

He smiled bemusedly at the small bracelet. The leather band was stung with wooden beads. The middle bead was covered with polished metal, and a running wolf carved onto it. "I know you don't wear jewelry, but I saw that stuff and thought I'd make it."

Remus smiled widely. I'd been worried he wouldn't like it, so the smile made me feel a bit better. "Don't worry, Rose, I love it." As if to prove he didn't hate it Remus immediately tied it onto his wrist.

We settled into a peaceful silence with only the surrounding elves causing any sort of noise. Remus stared at his new bracelet while I flipped to random pages of the book he gave me.

"Do you read the Daily Prophet?"

The random question made me look at him with confusion. "No. Why?"

"There was a story today." His voice was filled with unease. He didn't seem to know how to explain what the story was about. "Some Muggle-borns were attacked over break."

"Are they okay?" I asked concernedly.

Remus looked at me with such hopeless eyes. "They were killed."

My eyebrows went up in surprise. "Did it say who killed them?"

"That Voldemort guy." The air in my lungs disappeared and I couldn't get it back. Remus didn't notice my struggle to keep my composure since he was staring down at the wolf bracelet. "Him and his followers have been acting out more and more these past few months."

"Voldemort?" I breathed. Horror was mounting within me. I wasn't ready to hear about the dark lord already being active.

"Yeah, that's what he calls himself. His followers are Death Eaters. Weird names but… " Remus looked at me sadly, "people are already becoming afraid of them. They attack Muggles and Muggle-borns. Everyone says it's because they're trying to uphold pureblood ideals, which make Muggle-borns a prime target."

I grunted and mumbled to myself, "As if I wasn't already targeted enough around here."

"Rosabell, promise me you'll be careful."

"I'll be careful, I always am." I rolled my shoulders. "It's not exactly easy since I'm always alone, but I have Taffy whenever I need help." I couldn't stop myself from asking, "When did Voldemort start attacking Muggle-borns?"

"He started when we were in first year, but he's starting to get popular." Remus scrunched his eyebrows together. "Didn't you know about it?"

I shook my head slowly. "No. I had no idea." It startled me how something so important stayed hidden from me.

"It's probably because you don't read the papers. And you're always hiding, so you don't hear what's going on," Remus said speculatively.

"Do you get the paper?" He nodded. "Then whenever you finish it could you give them to me?"

He nodded again. "Sure. I don't actually need it anyway." Remus opened his bag and pulled out a newspaper. "This one is from this morning."

I took it gratefully and unrolled it to skim over the first page. I couldn't help but note how I hadn't touched a newspaper in years. Never once in this life, and in my last one I had phones and computers I could use.

The picture on the front page made me frown. In the sky there was a skull with a snake slithering out of its mouth, both made of smoke. A very obvious sign Death Eaters caused destruction nearby.

"Thank you, Remus." I rolled up the paper, and stuffed it into my bag. "We better go, so we can make it to class."

For the rest of the day my mind was distracted by the newspaper tucked away in my bag. Just two days previous I had been thinking about the Dark Lord's horcruxes, and how I would be able to destroy them. Then I find out the man is already making people fear his name. The locket wouldn't be reachable for another four years at least. Who knew how many people he would have killed by then.

I felt completely lost. Bringing this man down seemed impossible. Dumbledore was supposed to at least match Voldemort in strength, but even he never really beat him in a duel. If Dumbledore, an older man with a wide range of dueling skills and spell knowledge, couldn't beat him, then I had little to no chance. Some people may think my mind would be a good weapon, but I only know where his soul pieces are. It wasn't much, considering I didn't know how to obtain over half of them, and had no way of destroying them.

Defeating him had been more of a speculation on my part. A bit like a fantasy. Inside of Hogwarts I was safe enough to have those fantasies. Although, even in Hogwarts I didn't have much protection. An entire house was dedicated to hurting me, while all of the others turned a blind eye. With Voldemort on the rise all Slytherins would be looked at with suspicion. Including me. Remus and Taffy were my only help, and from the looks of it they're all I would ever get. I could only hope Remus didn't turn against me at some point.

Dumbledore continuously popped into my head. No doubt he would be a huge help collecting all of the horcruxes. The question was whether or not he was trustworthy. My gut told me not to trust him, and that might have been enough to sway some people in certain situations, but not this one. I had to deal with knowledge I obtained from a past life. Dumbledore seemed like a great guy, but I read some shifty stuff on the internet that quickly changed my opinion.

It might not have been just Dumbledore. Telling anybody the things I knew made my stomach clench. Even Remus, and I trusted him the most out of anybody else I knew. I was scared of how they would try to get the horcruxes, because I didn't want them to fail and ruin everything.

Dumbledore would definitely take over the whole thing, and leave me out of it, since I was a "child". That definitely didn't sit well with me. I needed to know what was going on, or else I would go mad from constantly wondering about whether or not they successfully found the soul pieces.

Regulus must have found out about the horcruxes at some point. They were tied to his death, so if I contacted him at the right time, then I could have a partner who hunts horcruxes with me, and I would save his life at the same time. This would result in him still becoming a Death Eater, and I wished that didn't have to happen.

For now I'd let things play out however they're supposed to. I would act when the time came, and until that time I would see if I could make any sort of plans regarding the retrieval of Hufflepuff's cup and the diary.

My distracted state resulted in me getting targeted by more Slytherins. Most of the time I could avoid their spells, but they managed to catch me off guard.

The first spell hit me directly in the face. I felt more than heard my nose break. The pain came after the light of the spell disappeared. I quickly brought my hand up to my nose, and felt my fingers slide over something warm and slick.

Pulling my hand away revealed my fingers to be covered in blood. I felt it steadily running out of my nose and down my chin. Looking up, I glared furiously at the grinning Slytherin fourth-year. "Better get your head out of the clouds, mudblood."

I sneered but didn't bother answering. The grin on his face slowly disappeared, replaced by anger. Another spell shot from his wand. Seeing it coming allowed me to dodge it with relative ease. It became harder to dodge after he shot one spell after the other.

My wand was in my bookbag. Getting it out while dodging spells proved to me a challenge, but not impossible. When I wrapped my hand around the familiar handle I whipped it up and shouted the first spell that came to mind, "Waddiwasi!"

Out of all the spells I could've used, that was the one I thought of. I expected the spell to hit him, but instead it caused the two spells coming towards me to be redirected to the caster.

I watched wide-eyed as one spell made all of his clothes disappear, and the second spell made a gash appear on his chest. I stared at the blood now dripping down his torso with wide eyes. Despite how often they caused me to bleed I'd never done the same. Only small things that would make them trip or get distracted enough for me to slip into a nearby classroom and escape with Taffy.

I paid no attention to the blood that now covered my mouth and chin. Knowing I had hurt him like they hurt me, even as an accident, made me feel a guilty sort of pleasure. They deserved it, but that didn't mean I wanted it to happen.

"Ferula." White gauze shot out of my wand and wrapped around his chest. Since his arms were down it bound his arms to his sides. He couldn't raise his wand high enough to get a good shot at me.

"You mudblood whore!" The fourth year was snarling at me like a vicious dog.

I forced myself not to show emotion as I slowly backed away from him. I didn't want to take my eyes away from him, and if I had I would've missed the wild spell he shot at me. It was aimed at my leg, but I easily sidestepped it.

Ducking into the nearest classroom I shut the door quickly and called for Taffy. She popped into the room and remembered the drill whenever I called her into an empty classroom. She paused and went wide-eyed when she saw my face covered in blood.

"I'll explain in the Kitchen!" I held my hand out nervously. My eyes constantly flicked towards the door where I heard the other boy cursing on the other side.

Taffy glared at the door while reaching for my hand. It felt like I got flushed down a toilet before appearing in the familiar bustling kitchen.

"What be happening to Miss King!"

By now my blood had dripped onto the white shirt of my uniform. I whipped off my robe, and roughly pulled off my tie. "It's my fault. I should've been paying attention."

Unbuttoning the white shirt as fast as possible I shrugged it off and pressed it to my still bleeding nose. It was already stained with blood, so I figured I would keep using it.

"Miss King hurt herself?" Taffy looked at me with confusion.

I grimaced. "Well, if I was paying attention I would've been able to dodge the spell."

Taffy shook her head, flapping her large bat ears. "Then it not be Miss King's fault. It be the one who hurt Miss King."

I smiled behind the white shirt, keeping it pressed against my nose. I couldn't pinch it closed because of the break. It hurt too much to put pressure. "Do you think you can fix my nose?" My voice came out nasally.

She shook her head regretfully. "I'm sorry, Miss. Taffy not skilled enough for breaks."

I sighed. "That's what I figured. I think I'll go to Madam Pomfrey for this one."

My response made Taffy beam at me. She always wanted me to go to Pomfrey when I got injured. Probably because she was trained in healing injuries. I didn't mind the scars though. Every time I looked at my arm I remembered the two girls I punched and felt satisfied.

I set the white shirt down and stood over it so my still-bleeding nose wouldn't bleed on the floor. Grabbing my robe, I put it on so I wouldn't walk through the castle in nothing but a bra and pants.

Pushing the white shirt back against my nose I secured my bag over my shoulder and left the kitchen. This time of day was for students to spend however they wished. Classes were over and dinner around an hour away. By now I would be in the library sitting a few tables away from Remus. No doubt he wondered where I was.

Thoughts of him worrying about me made me quicken my pace. A few students were milling about. I did my best to ignore their inquisitive stares as I drew closer and closer to the hospital wing. Hopefully it would be an easy fix. With me being a Slytherin she'd probably think I started a duel, but at this point the only people I cared about were Remus and Kevin. Taffy as well if I wanted to include a house-elf.

Like I suspected Madam Pomfrey eyed me suspiciously while stopping my nose from bleeding. She didn't ask too many questions except for what happened. I told her the truth, and she offered to bring it up to Dumbledore, but I brushed her off.

Pomfrey used a spell called Episkey that snapped my nose right back into place. The pain was intense and sudden, but it faded pretty quickly. Then she kindly used a spell to clean my shirt, but it still had a pink tint in the places I got blood on it, which was about half the shirt. I thanked her and left. I would give it to Taffy when I went to the Kitchens for dinner. If anyone could get the stain out, she could.

In the meantime I rushed through the corridors to get to the library. Remus was already there, which I suspected, and when I stepped through the threshold his head tilted up. His eyes met mine, and I saw something like relief in them.

While looking at him I saw his nostrils flare. His eyes snapped down to my left hand, and when I looked down I saw my white shirt clenched in my fist. Meeting his gaze I saw his magic roiling through his body in anger. The reaction made me groan to myself. I couldn't lie my way out of this one, and no doubt his Moony side would get very angry.

To my surprise he was angry enough to actually get up from his chair, and I heard him cast a notice-me-not spell on himself before gathering his stuff and striding over to me. He dragged my into a secluded corner of the library, put up the few privacy spells he knew, and turned on me. "What. Happened?"

I gave him a short run-down of the duel, and how my nose got broken, and I had to physically stand in his way to prevent him from leaving the library to hunt the Slytherin down. "Remus, it's taken care of."

He scoffed. "'Taken care of'? He broke your nose!" He started pacing, agitatedly running his hands through his hair. "You need to talk to Professor Dumbledore."

I sighed loudly and dropped into one of the wooden chairs, stretching my legs out in front of me. "What's he going to do about it? Assign detention and take away House Points? That would only make things worse."

"You always think it's going to be worse." He dropped into the chair across from me, crossing his arms on top of the table. "Why won't you trust someone?"

I gave him a baleful look. "So they can tell their friends about it later?"

Remus grimaced, knowing exactly what I was talking about and still feeling guilty. "I want you to get help."

I inhaled for 4 seconds, held it, then let it out for 8 seconds. The technique was one I used when I was meditating, and looking for my magic. "There's no such thing as help for me. I can only trust myself to work on this."

In the dark of the library the bags under his eyes were more prominent. The full moon was coming up, and while I couldn't wait to run around with him in my Animagus form I wasn't looking forward to staying up the whole night. We had to go to classes the day after. Hopefully I could function.

"How are the Marauders?"

We both knew I was changing the subject, but this was an argument we had fairly often, and Remus knew he would have to move on or else I would get angry and leave mid-conversation.

My question made him look more tired. "Suspicious. I'll try the 'not feeling well' excuse this time, but I don't think they'll buy it."

I nodded understandingly. The rest of the Marauders were beginning to see a pattern with Remus' excuses popping up every month. They had yet to figure out the reason, but they were too close for Remus' comfort. "It'd be shameful if they didn't figure it out eventually. They're wicked smart."

Remus smiled proudly. "Yeah." That smile disappeared. "I wish they'd be less smart about this."

"Oh, you're overreacting." I pulled my legs up so I sat cross-legged on the chair. He brought up one arm to lean his head against his fist, staring at me with one raised eyebrow. "I figured out you were a werewolf and we're still friends. You're even closer to the boys than you are to me. There's no way they'd react badly to your monthly problem."

He grimaced. "Two of them happen to be purebloods. You didn't grow up learning about how monstrous werewolves really are."

I sighed. "Yeah, but not all of them are monsters. You've been in this castle for three years and everybody knows you're the nicest guy in the castle – Marauder or not. If those boys can't remember that, then I don't think they deserve you."

Remus smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Losing their friendship is not the only thing I'm worried about."

I blinked confusedly before asking, "What else is there to worry about?"

"Them telling the whole school. I'd have to leave."

"Yeah," I agreed. "That's definitely a possibility." Unlike with the Marauders I didn't know how the rest of the school would feel about Remus being a werewolf. No doubt most of them would revolt and chase him out with spells. "It's a good thing they'll accept you."

"You don't know that." Remus' voice was slightly raised. The topic definitely affected him negatively.

"I do, actually." I wouldn't tell him how I really knew, of course. "They're your best friends. You guys are like brothers." It made me wonder what happened to make Peter switch sides.

Remus didn't talk any more about the subject, so I dropped it. That didn't mean I stopped worrying about him. During the classes I had with Gryffindor I could tell he was pulling away from the other three boys. Pulling away meaning he sat next to me in the back corner instead of with them towards the middle.

I looked at him crazily and hissed, "What are you doing?!"

"I can't let them find out." He ran a hand through his hair. I noticed it became his habit when feeling stressed. "It would ruin everything!"

"Remus, you're overreacting!" My eyes flicked rapidly to the backs of nearby Slytherins. A few of them were tense while others sent subtle glares towards us. Remus' presence hadn't gone unnoticed. "You need to go back over there, now!"

"Why?" He looked genuinely confused, possibly a little hurt.

"Because you're a Gryffindor. While that means nothing to me it's not going over well with the rest of my housemate's. I already have a target on my back." I felt weird calling them housemates, considering I didn't stay in the dorm.

Remus blinked owlishly before it set in that his presence would hurt me even more. He quickly grabbed his bag, prepared to change seats, when McGonagall swept into the room, calling for everyone's attention.

We shared a look. His was one of regret while mine was resignation mixed with anger. Him sitting next to me really didn't bother me, I just worried about what the Slytherins would do if they knew their Muggle-born housemate had a Gryffindor friend. That would be two grave offenses in their eyes.

Since I was never in the common room I could only imagine what they do with Severus about being friends with Lily. Most likely just comments and barbs, since I never saw anything wrong with him.

The fact she was really smart might take the edge off, but she's still Muggle-born. I knew how much they hated them. Remus is a half-blood, but he's a Marauder. They're well known for their pranks towards Slytherins. It was borderline bullying.

As the class droned on I mentally prepared myself for the possible retaliation the seating arrangement would cause me. I didn't want to hide our friendship as if it were some sort of bad secret, but if his friends, and the Slytherins found out, it would mean bad news for me. Remus might get some heat from the Marauders, but it wouldn't last too long, so long as he ended his friendship with me.

That was what we believed would happen. Neither of us were willing to find out if that was the truth. For all we knew James, Sirius, and Peter would accept our friendship. The Slytherins wouldn't, but I didn't care. Remus did, so that was why we never revealed it. He was worried they'd treat me worse than they already do – which would be difficult to accomplish, but no doubt they'd figure something out.

After Transfiguration, Remus kept his distance from both me and the other Marauders. There was nothing I could do to convince him everything would be fine. They'd have to figure out his lycanthropy, and accept him, before Remus calmed down.

On the full moon I got to the shack before Remus did. It was easier for me to slip away, since I didn't have roommates who cared about where I went. When he finally showed up his eyes were glittering gold. He looked closed off.

"Are you alright?"

Remus shook his head. "Just a bad feeling, that's all."

When he didn't elaborate I shrugged and moved on. We sat in comfortable silence while waiting for the moon to reach its peak. The second Remus began shifting uncomfortably on the wooden floor I changed into a leopard.

Remus looked impressed with my Animagus form. He carefully scratched behind my ears, causing me to purr loudly. He chuckled at the sound, but it didn't last very long. The moon finally reached its zenith, making him bend over with a gasp of pain. I kept my distance from him while his body underwent the change.

The night was similar to the moon in December. We chased each other and wrestled until he pinned me to the floor. Halfway through the night I started falling asleep, so he would jump on me. I silently cursed the wolfs boundless energy.

I managed to notice how out of breath our playing made me. It didn't happen gradually. I got tired very quickly. I may have only been fourteen, but I still noticed the little mushroom top I'd been sporting. Underneath all of my clothes it wasn't noticeable, but I noticed it. Hogwarts didn't exactly have healthy food options. Perhaps the Room could whip up some workout equipment. At fourteen I'd start out small. Maybe a few sit ups everyday and jog for a while.

As I laid on the floor of the shack as my human self, panting from exhaustion, I wondered if maybe the full moons would be enough of a workout regiment.

Remus and I made our way into the castle as quickly as possible. I offered to walk him to the Hospital Wing, but he declined. He looked so tired, and I felt bad for leaving him alone, but if I looked half as bad as he did then I needed to do my best to make myself presentable.

Falling asleep would be bad because I knew I wouldn't wake up in time for class. I changed my rumpled school uniform for a clean one. It helped me feel a little better, along with brushing my teeth. Brushing my hair made me look physically better, but I still had bags and bloodshot eyes.

Nobody ever paid attention to me anyway, so I figured there was nothing to worry about. Thankfully I was right, and nobody took any notice of my less-than-stellar appearance. I spent the entire day daydreaming about my bed, and trying not to fall asleep in the library doing homework that was due the next day.

Edited: 1/22/2019