Author's Note; I debated when outlining this one where to put their encounter and while the scene in the woods would have been a perfect spot: I decided doing an extended tag with a little "naughty nurse" action would be better as it would also give me a chance to explore Amanda growing restlessness with Dean since we're only about two episodes away from him disappearing for good. I also noticed that in the scene in the cabin where they're singing "Silent Night," it looked very much like Amanda was sitting on Lee's lap. Thanks to those who have read and reviewed and extra special thanks to Chrissie, Vicki, Elaine, Jennie and Monica for all the lively "gutter" chats on Facebook. You ladies are awesome! Chrissie, I hope this one keeps you blushing. :)
Chapter 10-Christmas Cheer
"The Long Christmas Eve"
On Christmas night, after the presents were opened, Christmas dinner was long done, the boys were tucked into bed, and after finishing the cleanup, Amanda wandered aimlessly through her house, looking for anything else to do. She picked up a dishcloth and made her way to the kitchen table to wipe it down for the fourth time that night.
"Amanda, what are you doing?" Dotty hissed to her with a not-so-subtle nod to the man who sitting on her couch in the living room waiting for her.
"Oh, what? I'm just trying to make sure everything all shipshape, you know how I like to keep a neat house," Amanda answered nervously. She was not about to let her mother in on the real reason she was looking for something...anything to do to keep herself occupied and prolong the time when Dean would expect a little alone time with her.
"Amanda, the house is neat as a pin...neater, in fact. Pins would be jealous of how neat the house is right now. As much as you've been on a cleaning frenzy since the boys went to bed, Good Housekeeping would give this place its seal of approval." Dotty then lowered her voice and reminded her, "and you have a man in there who is in dire need of some Christmas cheer." She forcefully took the dishcloth from her daughter's hand and gently nudged her toward the living room where Dean was lounging on the sofa.
"Mother," Amanda protested. Why couldn't her mother see that Dean was just not the man for her? Or that the fire just wasn't there?
"I mean it, Amanda, you've done enough for one day, now go," Dotty insisted firmly. What on earth was going on with that girl, she wondered. It was as if she didn't want to be alone with Dean. Couldn't she see what a great catch he was and how good he could be for her if she'd just give him the chance? Her daughter was such a mystery to her.
"Okay, okay," Amanda resigned herself with a sigh, knowing deep down that she was unable to put it off any longer as she trudged toward her doom and dreading every second of it.
When Amanda entered the living room, Dotty made a big show of stretching and yawning, "Oh, what a long day. I think I've had enough excitement for one day. I'm going to call it a night." With one last knowing smile to Amanda, hoping that she'd find some excitement of her own, she scurried up the stairs, leaving her daughter alone with her boyfriend.
"All done?" Dean asked with a warm smile as he reached for Amanda's hand and pulled her down to sit on the sofa with him.
"Yeah," Amanda answered and managed a weak smile. How am I going to get out of this one? She thought back to all of the tight spots she'd been in with Lee, including their most recent just yesterday and none of them seemed tighter than the one she was in right now.
"Good," Dean nodded, his smile widening as he slipped his arms around her and pulled her close, kissing her softly. "I don't know why you wouldn't let me help. I helped make the mess too, you know."
"Oh, I know," Amanda acknowledged as she placed her hands on his chest in an attempt to keep him at arm's length, "And I appreciate that you offered, but you were having such a good time with the boys before they went to bed that I didn't want to disturb that." Liar, she scolded herself. In truth, she didn't want him disturbing her. While there had never been any great burning passion between herself and Dean, what little attraction she had to him had quickly faded once she'd met the dashing spy who occupied many of her thoughts. That's not he's occupied, a devilish inner voice taunted her.
"They're great kids," Dean gushed. He leaned in to kiss her again, and then added, "You've done an amazing job with them. I can't imagine how you do it all alone."
"I...uh...you know, I've just tried to do the best I could...you know...with...uh...not having their father around." She didn't at all like the way that he was looking at her, as if he had something on his mind. Here it comes, she thought morosely.
"Well, maybe they should have a father around full-time," Dean suggested.
"Dean-"Amanda began, but was cut off by his finger on her lips as he pulled her into his lap. Amanda shuddered slightly as it had reminded her of yesterday when Lee had had his hand over her mouth to silence her after he'd thrown her to the ground and later in the day when she'd been comfortably parked on his lap while they sang, with his low baritone in her ear sending shivers up her spine.
"Let me get this out, Amanda," her boyfriend interrupted. "I love you. I love Phillip and Jamie and I know that you've been hesitant to talk about getting married again-"
Amanda slithered off the couch, stood to face him and demanded, "Dean, stop! I told you that I'm not ready yet! Why can't you just give me a little more time?" The truth was she didn't need more time. The more time she spent with Lee, the more she knew that Dean would never be able to give her what she needed. She sighed as she thought of Lee and realized that he wouldn't either. What's wrong with me? She thought forlornly. Why couldn't she feel for Dean what he thought she should, what her mother thought she should? She imagined what it would be like if she could have the best qualities of both of them in one man, the dedication to the family and comfort that Dean gave her, combined with the intense feelings and fiery passion that she felt only in Lee's arms.
"Amanda," Dean crooned softly as he rose and enveloped her in his arms, cradling her against him. "What are you so afraid of?" He pulled back slightly to look at her before kissing her soundly, his hands sliding under her sweater to caress her bare skin.
Amanda allowed herself a moment to enjoy the warm pressure of his lips on hers, his hands, softly touching her before pulling back. She pushed gently on his chest and warned him, "Dean, don't." She then turned from him, unable to face him any longer.
Dean sighed in frustration and questioned, "What the hell is going on with you, Amanda? What the hell is going on with us?"
Amanda sighed herself and explained, "Look, I just need time, okay? I'm not ready to make a decision about making another lifetime commitment. Why can't you understand that?"
"It's more than that, Amanda. Do you realize that it's been two months since we've made love?"
"I...Uh...I guess...I...uh...really hadn't thought about it," Amanda lied. She had, though, multiple times since meeting Lee. Every time that Dean had made an advance or hinted that he was in the mood, she'd come up with an excuse to put him off and being the gentleman that he was, he'd backed off every time. He wasn't that type to attempt to take what he wanted. Unlike Lee, she thought. She shook her head. That was a bit harsh toward Lee. He had never taken anything that she hadn't willingly give, but damn, could he be persuasive.
"Well, I have and I don't know what it is, but it's like ever since you started this little business venture of yours, you and I...I don't know...it's like something has changed between us. So, what is it?"
"Don't you get it? You and my mother, you're both putting all this pressure on me about getting married and I...I'm just not ready." If she were truly honest with him, she'd never be ready to marry him. He just wasn't the right one. She knew that, so why couldn't she just tell him that? She took a deep breath and made an attempt, "I don't know if I ever will be. My divorce put me and the boys through hell and you...You don't know what that was like." She turned from him again hoping he would take the hint.
"So, talk to me about it," Dean insisted as he grabbed her arm to get her to face him.
"I...I can't," Amanda stammered. She thought of her mother's words to her awhile back about how talking to Dean was like talking to a registered nurse and she wasn't wrong. He was just so...clinical and not just in the talking department. She hadn't really realized what she'd been missing out on in being with Dean until she'd met Lee. "And you making advances isn't helping. It's almost as if you're trying to seduce me into saying yes." Take that, she inwardly cheered, but couldn't help feeling guilty for the ruse. Why couldn't she just make a clean break with him and be done with it? Was she that afraid of disappointing her mother? What would her mother think if she knew how many times she'd lost herself in blind, untamed passion with a man she'd only known for two months; a man that she couldn't possibly have a real future with, when Dean was right here wanting a future with her?
"Your mother told me that your ex called to wish the boys a Merry Christmas. Is that what this is about? Did his phone call stir up some painful memories for you?"
"I...I guess," Amanda shrugged, though truthfully, Joe's call hadn't stirred anything. Nothing had been stirred between her and Joe for years; that was the main reason they'd gotten divorced in the first place. Even if there were, she'd only spoken to him for about five minutes before handing the phone off to the boys; it was her conversation with Lee that had stirred her, her adventure with him in the woods. Who are you trying to kid, she scolded herself. It was more than the adventure or the conversation that had stirred her. If she were truly honest with herself, she'd admit that Lee had stirred something in her on the first day she'd met him when he grabbed her in the train station. The way that he'd held her tightly, the way that his piercing eyes had bored into hers and sent a jolt through her that no man ever had, not even the father of her children. They were both silent for a long moment, before Amanda sighed once more and said," My mother was right. It's been a long day. Maybe we should just call it a night as well."
"Yeah, you're probably right," Dean concurred in resignation as he released her arm, made his way into the foyer and pulled on his coat. "I'll call you tomorrow." He lightly pecked her lips and made a hasty exit, slamming the door behind him.
After he'd gone, Amanda sank wearily against the door, Dean's words haunting her, What the hell is going on with you? "What the hell is going on with me?" she questioned aloud. She wished she knew. Why was she so drawn to a man that she knew could give her no real future, but was pushing away the one who could?
Her thoughts were interrupted by her mother's voice, "Well, that was certainly quick," Dotty commented with a smirk as she descended the stairs after having heard the door slam.
"Very funny, Mother," Amanda snorted in irritation as she tried to shake off her nagging thoughts. "You know what, I have a friend in the hospital that I should go pay a visit to," she told her as she reached for her coat.
"Oh, that's horrible," Dotty frowned. "Being in the hospital on Christmas must be very lonely for your friend."
"Yes, Mother, I'm sure it is. That's why I should go visit him," Amanda agreed as she pulled her coat on.
"But isn't it long past visitation hours?"Dotty argued.
"Well, I'm sure I can talk them into making an exception. It is Christmas, after all," Amanda reasoned. She knew she could always use her Bedside Bluebell connection to get in to see Lee if she had to. "Do you mind looking after the boys for me while I'm gone?"
"Of course not, Darling," Dotty answered."I hope you're able to get into to see your friend."
"Me too," Amanda replied hopefully as she hurried out of the house. She had to see him; her mother's words about a man needing Christmas cheer were haunting her. If there was any man that she wanted to spread a little Christmas cheer to, it was Lee, certainly not dull Dean.
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Amanda couldn't believe she was doing this, but Dean's embrace had made her think about what she was missing and she couldn't wait any longer to stop missing it. She straightened the cap on her head, nodded to herself firmly, glanced up and down the corridor to make sure it was empty, and then crept into Lee's room, locking the door firmly behind her.
Lee was awoken from an already fitful sleep by the covers being pulled from him and groaned as he opened his eyes to see a white-uniformed nurse at the side of his bed. "Oh, come on!" he complained loudly. "Can't you people around here let a guy sleep?" He swung his legs over the side of the bed and rose to his feet, fully intending to give the annoying night nurse a piece of his mind. "You know the words to the song, right, sleep in heavenly peace? How about you let me get some of that?"
"Shhh, you're gonna' get us both in trouble. I'm not supposed to be in here," Amanda whispered.
At hearing the familiar raspy voice, Lee's face softened, "Amanda, what the hell are you doing?" he questioned as he sank into the chair in the corner eyeballing the starched white nurse's uniform she wore as best he could in the dimly lit room.
Amanda approached him slowly before kneeling in front of him and saying, "I felt bad about you being all alone in the hospital on Christmas, so I thought I'd come to bring you a little Christmas cheer." She slowly ran her hands up his thighs under the thin hospital gown he wore and tugged at the boxers underneath. She slid them slowly down his legs, and then tossed them aside.
"Christmas cheer, huh?" Lee he inquired with a bemused look. "And what exactly did you have in mind?" He didn't have to wait long to find out as Amanda's answer was to take him into her mouth causing him to emit a loud groan as she suckled just the tip of him, lightly grazing him with her teeth, her lips and tongue making him crazy. "Oh, Amanda," he exclaimed as his hand reached down and he tangled his fingers in her hair while she teased him mercilessly, first exerting firm pressure, then withdrawing to barely touch him with her mouth, the anticipation slowly building. The effect was both exciting and infuriating as she built him up only to bring him back down again, his arousal beginning to mount all over again. When he became so frustrated by the lack of completion that he couldn't take it anymore, he tugged on the back of her head to pull her up to face him, and growled, "What are you doing to me?" his words carrying a double meaning. She was making him crazy by taunting him, but she also had a way of making him want her in a way that no other woman ever had. That thought made him crazier than her brutal teasing had as he recalled how she'd made him chase her in the locker room and he'd willingly complied, wanting her so fiercely that he had had no other choice.
Amanda gave him an innocent "who, me?" smile and asked sweetly, "What? Don't you like your Christmas present?"
"I'd like this a little better," he attested as he grasped her wrist and pulled her into his lap. He slipped his hands under the skirt of the uniform she wore and was shocked to find that she was not wearing underwear beneath it. The image of the wholesome housewife was shattered once again. He couldn't believe how she just kept surprising him.
"Amanda," he groaned as he pushed himself into her, not caring if she was ready for him or not as she'd created such a need in him that he knew he couldn't rest until that need had been fulfilled.
Amanda gasped as Lee entered her, shuddering slightly at his bold penetration of her. When he looked at her in alarm, and it was clear on his face that he feared he'd hurt her, she whispered softly, "It's okay." She rocked against him, placing one hand on each shoulder, trying to avoid the injured area from his shooting. It was more than okay, it was exquisite, the feeling of him inside her, the way that he wasn't afraid to let her know exactly what he wanted and take it, not needing words to tell her how much he wanted her. She sighed at the full feeling he gave her with the erection she'd given him buried to the hilt within her. She'd never felt such exhilaration than in knowing that she could cause such a fierce reaction in him when it was clear there were many women who'd love to be in her place...or the many that had been.
Lee gripped her hips tightly, leaned her back slightly to change the angle of his penetration to give her the kind of pleasure she'd been giving him as they moved together, pushing their hips against one another repeatedly. "Oh, Amanda, oh, I..." His breath was now so ragged at his exertions, he couldn't continue, but knowing he was too damn close to losing it without taking her with him, he pulled her hips against his to still their movements. He slipped one hand between him to caress her center, stroking her firmly, increasing the pressure little by little until her the sound of her cries told him she was as close as he was.
"Lee, please," Amanda pleaded as she neared her peak, tugging at his hospital gown, sighing in contentment when she felt him begin to thrust into her again while he still touched her. "Lee!' she screamed as she felt him spilling into her. She heard him calling her name just as she reached her peak. Her pleasure was overtaking her as she bucked against him, taking all he had to give until they were both spent, shaking and shuddering against each other, both gasping for breath.
When his thundering heart rate finally slowed down, Lee panted, "Wow, you... sure...know how to bring a guy...some Christmas cheer." He shook his head. He was still surprised by her waltzing in here in a nurse's uniform, panty-less.
Amanda laughed and teased good-naturedly, "It's just a good thing they don't have you on a heart monitor."
Lee couldn't help but laugh and replied, "Yeah, that would have brought them in here in a hurry." He softly stroked her hair, then straightened her now crooked cap and asked, "So, where'd you scare up this uniform anyway?"
"Hospital volunteer, remember?" she reminded him.
"Oh, right," Lee nodded knowingly. "You know where all the good storage closets are." He remembered all too well the last time he'd been hospitalized and they'd taken full advantage of her knowledge of the hospital's layout.
"Yes, I do," Amanda replied with a giggle. "So, do you like it?" she asked as she rose from his lap and twirled in front of him.
"Well, it's not a sexy nightgown, but it'll do," Lee joked with an impish grin as he rose from his perch to retrieve his discarded boxers.
"You're never gonna' let that go, are you?" She gave him a petulant look with her hands on her hips.
"Not until I see you wear one for me," He answered with a smirk. "Now...that would have been a great Christmas present."
"Oh, so you didn't like this one?" she bantered as she hiked up her skirt just enough to flash a bit of bare thigh at him.
"Oh, I think you know that I did," Lee asserted. He found himself unable to stop the grin on his face.
"Good." Amanda suddenly began flushing under the intensity of his gaze. "You know, I-I...uh...I should get home to the boys." She walked to the door then stopped for a moment, kissed him softly and chirped, "Merry Christmas, Lee," before hurrying out the door.
"Merry Christmas, Amanda," he responded softly after she'd gone before climbing back into his bed, the pain from his shooting no longer bothering as he thought of how peacefully he'd sleep now. He reflected back on their singing the day before and thought, Sleep in heavenly peace, indeed. Feeling thoroughly sated, he knew he'd sleep peacefully now dreaming of the woman who'd just nursed him back to health and happiness.