Chapter12-It's Over
"Lost and Found"
Amanda chuckled as she listened to her mother's tale of a long-ago New Year's Eve and then as began to think about her own love life, she questioned, "Why is it so difficult for men to open up sometimes?"
"Well, women are no better, Amanda," Dotty answered astutely with a shake of her head. "Sometimes it's very painful to admit your true feelings, even to yourself. I'd like to think that I raised you so that you're not that inhibited." She gave her daughter a knowing look.
"Uh...yes, well...Uh...yeah," Amanda stammered, a slight blush in her cheeks as she thought of just how uninhibited she'd been with Lee lately. She couldn't help sneaking a glance across the room at the refrigerator and those long, but too short moments when Lee had had her pinned up against it.
"Amanda, is there someone in your life that you're afraid to admit your true feelings for?" Dotty searched her daughter's face for an answer, but found none. She was really starting to become concerned that Amanda had become so guarded these days, she found it a challenge to read her the way that she used to.
"No," Amanda denied quickly with a shake of her head as she tried to convince herself that that was true. "No, there isn't." Liar, she admonished herself. She knew there was, but what difference did it make? Even if she told Lee how she truly felt about him, he'd just laugh at her...or worse. Knowing him, he might get a big head about it and the last thing she needed was to increase the size of his already overly-inflated ego.
"Well, just remember one thing, Darling. Life is short," Dotty advised her as she picked up the remnants of her hula skirt and made her way toward the stairs. She then turned and added, "If I were you, I would tell Dean exactly how I feel." She chuckled a little at her own cleverness. She knew that Dean just wasn't lighting Amanda's fire the way a man you were in love with should. While she knew that he could provide her daughter with security and stability, she also knew that Amanda shouldn't keep stringing him along if the feelings just weren't there.
Amanda smiled awkwardly at her mother as she left the room and as soon as she was gone, let out a sigh, a look of alarm crossing her features. "Dean," she said softly knowing that her mother was right and she should tell him exactly how she felt, but also knowing just how difficult a conversation that was going to be.
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"Don't you think this kitchen could pass inspection yet?" Amanda huffed, the irritation evident in her voice as she leaned her chin on the broom handle in her hands.
"Do I detect a lack of enthusiasm for my work program, huh?" Lee queried as he furiously mopped the kitchen floor. What a switch, he couldn't help thinking. She was usually the one who was all for making sure every nook and cranny was clean.
Amanda glanced at her watch and responded dryly, "My enthusiasm begins to fizzle around ten-thirty."
"Hey, come on," Lee urged her as he shifted his attention to the refrigerator. "I bet we can find some mean dust bunnies behind this baby. Come on." He grunted as he tried to move the bulky fridge.
"Lee?" Amanda began hesitantly to get his attention. When he gave up on the fridge and turned to face her she continued in an urgent tone, "I've gotta' get home. Phillip and Jamie are having company spend the night and I have to be there to pretend like I'm not."
"Then...uh...Let's play cards," Lee suggested as he approached her.
"Cards?" Amanda questioned with a look at him as if he were from mars. "You and I play cards?
"Yeah," he confirmed with an eager nod.
"Why should we play cards? We've never played cards before." Why was he acting so crazy?
"Well, we can start," Lee insisted.
"Oh," Amanda drawled long and slow, realization dawning at the pleading tone in his voice.
"What?"
"You don't wanna' be here...alone...with them," she deduced as she pointed to the living room.
"Who?" Lee questioned obtusely. "Oh...uh...Angelo and Eva? I never really thought about it. Why would that bother me?" He shrugged as if also trying to shrug off his ambivalent feelings.
"Right," Amanda responded skeptically, a little hurt that he seemed to be jealous over Eva. "When something's over, it's over. Shouldn't bother you at all...because it is over," she declared pointedly, hoping she was making her meaning clear. "Isn't it?" Amanda hated the edge of jealousy creeping into her voice and tried to cool her emotions down.
Lee, who was beginning to feel entirely uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going, abruptly changed the subject, "You know, I'll bet those things are ready to come out of the dryer."
"Did you notice how you just ended the conversation." Amanda heard that jealous edge that she hated creeping back into her own voice.
"What do you think?"
"What do I think about what?"
"Uh...Do they look happy together?" Lee inquired, hesitantly knowing how good she was a reading things. He was partially hoping that she'd say no and partially hoping she'd say yes. He'd never felt so conflicted in his life when it came to women. If she said yes, then that would mean it really was over with Eva and he could move on with his life, possibly a life with Amanda. If she said no, then that brought up a whole new set of questions. Why weren't they happy? Was it because of him? Did it mean Eva still had feelings for him? And if all that were true, just where the hell did Amanda and the intense feelings he had for her fit in?
"Do they look happy together," Amanda repeated her voice no on the edge of becoming shrill in her building jealous rage.
"Yeah," Lee answered expectantly.
Amanda took a deep breath and began awkwardly, "Oh...I don't know...uh..." She peered into the living room at the couple in question and then commented, "They're a very attractive couple."
"They are?" Lee sounded disappointed. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just move on?
"He's very intense and dark and handsome..." Amanda gushed with enthusiasm, hoping to get to him the way he'd gotten to her.
"Oh, you call that handsome?" Lee scoffed as he looked at Angelo, then back at Amanda, not at all appreciating the way that Amanda was describing Angelo.
Gotcha, she crowed inwardly. "...She's interesting-looking," Amanda continued as if Lee hadn't spoken, unwilling to give the woman who had Lee so hot and bothered a real compliment now that she knew she herself could still get to him even with Eva back in the picture.
"She's a little more than interesting-looking," Lee argued defensively.
"Okay, so maybe she's a little more than interesting-looking, but there's something about her that bothers me."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't know. It's probably something that only another woman would pick up on. Um...I'm...not sure that she loves him?"
"What?" Lee gasped in surprise.
"Something about the way she looks at him. There's just...no magic."
"Magic?" Lee questioned.
"Yeah, magic," Amanda replied. Like the magic we have, she added inwardly, but wasn't brave enough to say aloud.
"Oh, yeah," Lee said with bright smile.
"Why are you smiling," Amanda questioned, the irritation appearing in her voice again.
"What smile? There's no smile," Lee denied as he frowned at her. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with her and why she was acting as if he were doing something wrong just by smiling.
"It is over, isn't it," she stated, but by seeing the look on his face, she knew that while it may be over, he wasn't over it yet.
"You know, that stuff has gotta...gotta be ready," Lee switched gears briefly gripping Amanda's arms before hightailing it to the laundry room.
"He did it again," Amanda muttered with a scowl, the brief contact of his hands on her arms sending flutters up her spine, only to be replaced by disappointment. Still fuming, jealousy still raging, she released the broom in her hand, letting it clatter to the floor as she followed him muttering, "Not this time, Buster."
As Amanda entered the laundry room, she watched as Lee lodged a half-hearted kick at the still-tumbling dryer, growling, "Damn it."
"What'd the dryer do to you?" Amanda teased as she pushed the door closed behind her, clicking the lock in place.
Lee whipped around, startled at her voice behind him. "What are you doing in here?" he asked in a surlier than normal tone.
"The real question is, what are you doing in here?" Without giving him a chance to reply, she continued, "I'll tell you what you're doing in here, hiding, that's what you're doing."
"Don't be ridiculo-" Lee couldn't even attempt to finish that sentence. He knew it was true. He knew that he couldn't bear to be in the same room with Angelo and Eva while they got reacquainted.
Amanda swallowed hard as tears threatened to consume her, she looked down at the floor, twisting her hands together nervously and said in a small voice, "It's not over, is it?"
Lee ran a hand through his hair, shook his head and said, "I don't know. I don't know, okay?" He sighed as he leaned against the dryer and said, "I thought it was over. Now, I...You know, I haven't thought of Eva in two years, tried to just move on when she told me she was marrying Angelo and now...now, she's here."
"She's married, Lee," Amanda reminded him pointedly.
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. I mean, that's the answer, right? She married someone else, so that means that it has to be over, right? She chose someone else, just like..." He trailed off, swallowing hard, looking at her intently before forcing himself to break his eye contact with her turning and leaning against the warm dryer for support. No, he wasn't going to go there. It was bad enough he was trying to figure out whatever residual feelings he still had for Eva, he wasn't going to throw in his burgeoning feelings for Amanda in there too, not when he knew that she'd rather be with the weatherman than him. It was just too painful. He was startled to feel her close behind him, tugging at the gun holster to pull it from his shoulders.
"Just like what?"Amanda probed, knowing the answer, knowing that he was thinking of her relationship with Dean again.
Lee released his grip on the dryer, allowing Amanda to complete her task. When she's laid his holster aside, he then turned to her and said in a low voice, "It doesn't matter," as he reached for the soft cardigan on her shoulders, pushing it to the floor while she silently worked loose the buttons on his shirt and stepped out of her heels. No words were spoken between them as they slowly undressed each other, Lee's shirt and Amanda's blouse soon joining her sweater on the floor. Lee rested his hands on her waist for a moment, just gazing at her, wanting so much to put into words what he felt, but he couldn't. More than anything, he just wanted to get lost in her to end his confusion. He yanked her roughly to him, capturing her lips with his own in a burning, kiss while his hands roamed over the bare skin of her back deftly unhooking her bra, while her hands slid up his chest thumbing his nipples into hardness.
Amanda moaned at the intensity of Lee's searing kisses, her body alight for him, every molecule of her being feeling like she was a bomb about to explode and he was the fuse. Needing to feel every inch of him to reassure herself that Eva's presence hadn't changes his desire for her, she tugged at his belt, loosening it quickly, followed by the button and zipper on his pants as she worked her hand inside his boxers, needing to touch him.
Lee tore his mouth from hers, groaning at the contact as he felt Amanda's nimble fingers stroking him, making him crazy with his raw need for her. Grasping her waist, firmly, he quickly reversed their positions, perching her atop the dryer while he worked her out of her slacks, sliding them down her long legs, along with her panties. He kicked off his shoes and dropped his boxers as well, not wanting to waste any more time. He parted her legs and bent between them, planting open-mouthed kisses to the inside of first one thigh, and then the other, nipping and suckling at her skin while his hand cupped her bare bottom.
"Lee," she hissed as he teased her, never getting to where she wanted him to be. "Ohhhh," she cried as he bit down on her inner thigh. "That's gonna' leave a mark."
"Good," he growled, wanting to leave his mark on her so the next time she was giving herself to the weatherman, he'd know that he was the only man who'd been there. He wanted more than that, he wanted her to remember him as well. He slipped his tongue out to barely graze her center, repeating the motion several times, giving her just enough to make her want more, he wanted her to want more, to beg him to give her the release he knew she was after.
"Lee, please," Amanda pleaded tiring of his brutal teasing of her.
"Please, what," he muttered against her as he continued to torment her.
"Please, just do it," Amanda begged her voice now a harsh whisper as her need increased, her breath becoming more ragged.
"Do what, Amanda," he said as he lifted his head just enough to look at her and see with a satisfied smirk the desperation in her eyes. It wasn't enough to see it though; he wanted to hear her beg for it. He lowered his head back down, parting her folds with one hand while his tongue snaked out one more time before withdrawing again. "Is that what you want, Amanda?"
"Yes," she hissed.
Repeating the action, he demanded, "Say it, Amanda!"
Amanda gasped and whispered, "I want you...I ..I...want you to taste me," her heart rate was now out of control with anticipation, the sheer need he had created in her making her feel as if she would die if he didn't get on with it. "Please."
Lee smiled smugly, grasped her bottom more firmly, hooked one of her legs over his shoulder and began to devour her in earnest, immensely satisfied by hearing her harsh cries above him. He knew that it wouldn't take long now to bring her to her peak, wanting, no needing to drive her over the edge as she'd been driving him to the edge of insanity since the day he met her. He kneaded her bottom as he probed her with his tongue, lapping at her wetness, before taking her fully into his mouth suckling her until her hear her shrill keening above him, felt her bucking against him, her long, slender fingers sliding through his hair as his assault on her continued. So much for her enthusiasm fizzling after ten-thirty, Lee thought. No, her enthusiasm was sizzling, not fizzling.
"LEE!" she shouted unable to stop herself, throwing her head back as her climax slammed into her, leaving her sweating and panting as her whole body shook with tremors from the force of it. Before she could come down from her high, she felt Lee wrenching his head from her grasp; before she knew what was happening his lips were locked on hers and he was inside her. "Ohhhh," she cried at the feeling of him swelling within her, pushing against her, her legs draped over his bottom. As he probed her mouth with his tongue, she tasted herself on his lips, driving her wild with the satisfaction in knowing that if that woman out there tried to make a move, she'd know without a doubt that Lee belonged to her. Her own scent would be all over him, staking out her turf. Wanting to mark him with more than just her scent, she pulled her mouth from his and lowered it to his neck, biting down as hard as she could as Lee continued to plunge into her. She couldn't help the low moans that escaped her as she did so, the warmth of the dryer beneath her a sad imitation of the warmth that Lee created in her.
"Oh, God, Amanda," Lee groaned as he drove into her harder and faster, the gentle rocking of the dryer, spurring him on, helping him to create the perfect rhythm. "Ohhhh," he cried as she continued to assault his neck, making him push harder for his release, needing to fill her completely. With one final hard thrust, he emptied himself into her, gasping out her name as he filled her with his hot seed.
Amanda clutched him to her, her hands locking around his head, her legs around his hips, not ready for him to leave her yet, the rocking of the dryer giving the just the right momentum to keep Lee rocking against her, within her as they rode out the wave together. They were clinging to each other, lips and teeth nipping, hands roaming, locked together, and whispering words of pleasure to one another until a loud buzzing shattered the peaceful moment. Amanda took a deep shuddering breath and said in a shaky voice, "The dryer's done."
"Uh...yeah...i guess it is," Lee concurred pulling himself from Amanda's grasp, turning from her as he gathered up his clothing and hurriedly pulled them back on. He couldn't help thinking that wasn't all that was done, as he tried desperately to recall if his feelings for Eva had ever been as intense as what he felt for Amanda.
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Amanda entered the kitchen, fully prepared to be nice to Eva, in spite of the fact that it seemed that Lee had slept with her just hours after brutally teasing her in the laundry room. Instead, her bitter jealousy getting the better of her, she approached her and said, "I was really sorry to hear about Angelo," feeling a dire need to remind the woman that she was married and not to Lee.
"Thank you, Mandy," Eva replied. Though the words were spoken kindly, there was no real emotion on her face when she said it. "I have to believe that we will get him back.
"Yeah...Uh...Look, why don't you let me...uh...take over for you and you can...um...get a little more dressed," Amanda suggested with a pointed look as she eyed the woman who was still dressed in a cotton nightgown, very similar to her own that Lee had made a crack about, Lee's sweater the only thing covering it.
"I would like to help, Mandy," Eva argued and added coolly, "And I'm sure Lee will not mind if I borrow his sweater a little longer," as a reminder to Amanda who'd had him first.
"No, no, really, I just insist," Amanda said, her voice overlapping with Eva's wanting to get her out of her nightgown, wondering what it was about Eva that was making Lee so nuts. How is it that the same type of nightgown that he'd complained about her owning, didn't seem to bother him on Eva?
As Eva walked to the doorway, her eyes fell upon the cake plate on the countertop, "Mandy," she cooed her voice filled with wonder, "Did you make this?"
Amanda turned and responded, "Oh, it's just a little poppyseed cake I made for breakfast."
"Well, i hope you can get Lee to try some. I was never able to get him to have more than coffee for breakfast," Eva told her with a malicious gleam in her eye, cone again reminding Amanda of her prior intimacy with Lee.
"Oh," Amanda said looking down at the dishtowel in her hand, feeling defeated.
"By the way, do they call you Mandy?"
"No," Amanda said looking back up just as Lee entered the room.
"Well, how's everyone doing in here?" Lee inquired in an attempt to be cheerful, then chuckled nervously at the tension he sensed in the room and saw Amanda do an abrupt about-face turning her back to him. Uh-oh, she's pissed, he thought. He eyed the cake Amanda had made and as an attempt to get back into her good graces, said, "Oh, look at this. Mmm."
Amanda turned back to him with a smile and said, "Oh, would you...uh...like some?" hoping he'd say yes, just so she could gain an advantage over Eva.
"Oh...uh...I hardly do anything for breakfast but coffee" Lee stammered awkwardly, his attempt at flattering her now falling flat. Unseen by Lee, Eva flashed another malicious grin at Amanda before leaving the room. At seeing Amanda's face fall, her turning her back on him again, he tried to redeem himself. "But...uh...Oh...well, if...uh...I did eat breakfast...uh..." he tried to dig himself out of the hole he was in as he grabbed a handful of the cake and shoved it into his mouth, "...I would eat this. Mm, it's good." He swallowed his bite of cake, chuckling awkwardly as he approached her.
"Thank you," Amanda replied half-heartedly as she turned and folded her arms tightly across her chest.
"So...uh...is there any news about Angelo?" Amanda asked in an attempt to change the subject as she reached for a dishtowel to dry her hands.
"No, I was hoping you would have some ideas," Lee said. "You two seemed to hit it off pretty well."
"Sure, but...uh...not as well as you and...Eva," Amanda said bitterly.
"Amanda?"
"Hmmm?"
"How do you know when an affair is really over, anyhow?" Lee reflected back on the kisses he'd shared with Eva last night. For two years, he'd wondered how things might have been different if he'd told Eva how he felt about her in Italy, but when faced with her telling him she loved him last night so soon after his fiery exchange with Amanda, he found that her kisses, as fervent as they were, had just left him cold. She'd attempted to press for more, but he had reminded her that she was married and while he had had a history of playing the field, sleeping with a married woman had never been a part of his repertoire.
"I don't know," Amanda said softly wondering if he was finally on the verge of letting Eva go. She hoped so. As she thought about his question, she reflected back on her conversation with her mother about telling Dean how she really felt about him and continued, "I guess you just...know." Amanda knew that her affair with Dean was really over and had been for a long time. She just needed to figure out how to let him know it too.
"Yeah," Lee said breaking her gaze. He'd seen a brief flash of something in her eyes that he couldn't quite identify, wondering for just a moment if she was referring to him and Eva or to herself and her weatherman. "I was always kind of bad at these things, anyway," he sighed.
"Oh, everybody's always king of bad at these things," Amanda assured him, knowing that included herself. If she were any good at it, she'd have cut Dean loose already and would have told Lee how she really feels about him.
"No, I really am bad," Lee replied.
"No, you're not so bad," Amanda defended him as she recalled all the times that he'd let her know without words how much her felt for her.
"I'm telling you, I'm bad," Lee countered. If he weren't, he'd be able to tell Amanda what he really thought of her.
"No, you're not," Amanda fired back.
"I am"
"You're not."
"Amanda, I am bad."
"Alright, you're bad, you're bad," Amanda finally conceded.
"Well, alright," Lee nodded. "Drop the subject."
"I dropped it. It's dropped," Amanda capitulated with her hands up in surrender. She couldn't help but wonder if that was their whole problem, that they were both bad at relationships. Even though she'd been married, it wasn't as if she was any great success either. After all, her marriage had ended. She sighed as she heard Lee talking about getting back to work.
After Eva's duplicity had been discovered and Lee had thanked her for the talk, she found herself positively giddy at seeing Lee finally let Eva go with a loud, gleeful shout of "It's over!" She couldn't help the warm feeling that flooded through her as she felt that if Lee could let go of a romance that he'd held onto for two years, she could let go of one that had only existed for less than a year. She laughed as she watched Lee prancing around in elation and decided in that moment that it was time to say good-bye to Dean once and for and all.
