Ferral had worked with a Vanguard strike team to sneak aboard the Dreadnaught. Led by the killer team of Kari and Rem, warlock and titan, they charged into the Hive ship with zero intel.

The inside of the ship was a lightless hellhole. The aura of Darkness was so deep that the Guardians were cut off from the Traveler. They were met with a cursory defense from Hive thralls that was only a feint to lure them deeper into the ship. The team were deep inside when they were swarmed by acolytes and knights. The team was split and lost track of each other.

Ferral was part of the team led by Rem the Titan. They wound up reaching a lower deck where wizards and knights caught them in traps of spiked chains. There they were held as the wizards killed their ghosts and tore the Light from them and their Guardians.

"I remembered how you drew power from that void crystal," Ferral said. "So when they came for me, I shattered the nearest crystal with a shadow blade. I took the power and used it to break the chains. I was going to free the others, but ... I was the only one left." He dropped his head into his hands.

Lethia sat beside him and rubbed his back. It was all she could think to do.

Ferral went on, his eyes red and his voice scratchy. "Banner had a partial map of the ship's interior by then. He guided me out. I fought until I was out of ammo. Then I used my rifle as a club. When that snapped, I used my knives. I stole a fighter, got out. Met the other team. I had to ... had to tell Kari how her husband died. How the whole team died. It broke her. I should have tried harder to save them."

"It's not your fault," Lethia said. "You did what you could, but you were so deep in the Darkness, it's amazing you escaped at all."

"I ran like a coward," Ferral said bitterly. "I saved my own skin. What a hero I am."

"They were dead when you escaped," Lethia argued. "There was nothing you could do. You can't keep blaming yourself."

Ferral sat with his head in one hand for a long time, staring at the floor of the shack. "I hadn't really reasoned it out before. But still. Just because I couldn't save them doesn't mean I shouldn't have tried. All we could do was watch ... and the way they begged for their ghosts' lives ... and each other ... and those wizards didn't care." He summoned Banner and held him close, protective.

Lethia felt ill. That night, when she returned to her ship, she cried for a long time. Niki stayed close, doing all he could to comfort her. When she finally fell into an exhausted sleep, Niki snuggled under her chin on the pillow.

The days passed. Ferral recounted his story so many times that the pain of it began to dull. Lethia caught him every time he began blaming himself and refused to let him wallow. Bit by bit, Ferral began to recover. The nightmares diminished, and he sometimes went whole nights without one.

In the meantime, he and Lethia fixed up the shack, patching holes in the walls and roof, building better furniture, and keeping everything clean.

"I bought this place with the last of my glimmer," he told Lethia one rainy day, when he was hammering together a chair in the middle of the room. "I think my account's empty, and I didn't care at the time. But now I think maybe it was a bad investment."

"My ship will get us back to Earth," Lethia assured him. "Assuming you want to go. Won't the Vanguard punish you?"

"I don't know, anymore," Ferral replied. "I suppose I could contact them and find out. But they'd haul my carcass back for a trial. Maybe I'd better stay MIA."

"I'll have to go back when my eighteen months are up," Lethia said. "I'm a Guardian, now. But maybe we can get you set up with a better place. The Reformation is an awful place to live."

"Yeah, I could beg the Dasa clan for land," he said with an ironic grin. "I'm sure they'd be kind to the prodigal. Seeing as they were so accommodating the first time."

"Oh ... you must not have heard," Lethia said, looking down. "Most of them were Taken."

Ferral sat very still, his grin fading. After a moment, he said, "Well. We lost a third of the Reef's population. It's not that surprising." He sighed and hammered in another nail.

Lethia watched him, sadness weighing on her. "I wish this had played out differently."

He looked up at her, his pale yellow eyes attentive. "You do?"

"I wish," Lethia said, "that we had met in peace time. And we got to know each other before I became a Guardian. That way, when Niki found me, I knew what was happening. I wouldn't have been so scared. I think of how I treated you, and Niki, and Banner, and I just die inside."

"Well," Ferral said, choosing his words carefully, "you're Reefborn. You thought the way all Reefborn are taught to think. I was resurrected on Earth, so ... I guess I see both sides. I understand why you acted that way. It wasn't much fun, though."

"I guess this is my way of making it up to you," Lethia said. "Trying to help you through this. It's my fault you're so messed up."

"I would have wound up out at the Dreadnaught eventually," Ferral said with a shrug. "It's just a question of whether my junk pile of a ship would have gotten me that far or broken down halfway." He paused, gazing at her. "I wish we could have made friends, too. I would have had a chance to ... to treat you a lot better than I did."

"We can start over now," Lethia suggested. "Make friends. Be nice. Understand each other better."

"We could." Ferral gestured to the shack's walls. "Not exactly ideal conditions, but it keeps the rain off."

"It's better than Mars," Lethia said with a laugh. And Ferral agreed.

The mood was much lighter the rest of the afternoon. When Lethia went to her ship for the night, Ferral sat on his bed for a while, gazing at the half-built chair and thinking.

"Banner," he said, "do you think Lethia and I could have a future together?"

Banner appeared, his dark green shell almost invisible in the dark room. "Are you asking me about her suitability as a mate?"

Ferral grinned. "You don't have to be so clinical about it."

Banner spun his shell in thought. "Well. Huh. I ... never really thought about this before. You two do get along quite well. At least as well as Kari and Rem. You've never formed an attachment like this before, so, I confess this is new territory for me."

"You see why I asked your opinion," Ferral said. "She's literally the first woman I've ever been interested in. At first I think I'm crazy, thinking she likes me. Then ... she wishes we had met differently, and ... Light, Banner. I'm falling for a warlock."

"A Reefborn warlock," Banner replied. "I advise you to proceed very cautiously. She's only been a Guardian half a year, and her memories are deeply ingrained. I don't want to see your heart broken. Not after everything else we've been through."

Ferral sighed and dug his fingers into his white-streaked hair. "You're right. It makes sense. I suppose I should ask her if this is what she wants. Is that all right? Just ... saying it straight out?"

Banner lifted his lateral segments in a shrug. "I have no idea, Fer. Lethia seems the logical type, so, maybe she'd appreciate it?"

Ferral finally lay down, wrapping a blanket tightly around himself to keep out the rain's chill. "I hope it doesn't scare her off."

Banner burrowed into the blanket and snuggled into his Guardian's arms. "I don't think it will."

On her ship, Lethia was having a similar conversation with her ghost.

"I guess I shouldn't expect much," she said, lying in her bunk with her hands behind her head. "I mean, look how badly I've treated him. And you, too."

Niki floated above her face, looking down. "I forgave you, my lovely Guardian. I knew you loved me when you pulled out the knife. You could have given me up for dead."

She smiled and stroked his shell. "You're my ghost, though. Ferral ... he's a Guardian I've treated terribly. But, you know, I think I've been attracted to him all along. That's why it irritated me so much that he was a Guardian. I wasn't allowed to associate with him, you know?"

"Wasn't allowed by who?" Niki asked.

Lethia sighed. "My people. Cultural expectations. Not that it matters, now. So many of them are gone. And I'm a Guardian, too. I wish I hadn't made such a mess of things."

"He seems fond of you, now," Niki pointed out. "He was very kind today, when you apologized."

"But that's how he is," Lethia said. "Kind, and generous, and protective, and, and, oh, I'm not any of those things. He won't want anything to do with me. He's only putting up with me now because I shoved my way in to take care of him."

Niki gazed at her. "Listen to yourself, Lethia. You, also, are kind. You, also, are generous, giving him your time and energy. Why else are you here?"

Lethia gazed into his purple eye, thinking. "I guess ... all I can really do is talk to him about it. If he's not interested in ... in a serious relationship, he'll say so. Light knows he's been brutally honest about everything else."

"I thought you didn't want a mate at all," Niki said, looking somehow mischievous.

"Well, I ... I don't," Lethia fumbled. "Or ... I didn't. But Ferral's different."

Niki chuckled and landed on her chest, where he could look into her eyes from three inches away. "I've known Ferral longer than I've known you. He's a good Guardian. And so are you. Get to know him a little more before you bother about romancing him."

She smiled at her ghost. "I'm glad I have you to help me."

Niki emoted a smile.

The next morning, over breakfast, Ferral cleared his throat. "So, is it all right if I ask you a question?"

"Of course," said Lethia.

"Would you ..." The words vanished from his brain. He started over. "Lethia, I think I'm developing feelings for you. Not just friendship, but something more. I ..." He gulped, meeting her eyes and finding them wide and startled. "I wanted to let you know before I do something stupid. If you're ... not inclined to that, then I'll never mention this again. We can go on being friends."

Lethia gazed at him for a moment with that expressionless look he had such trouble reading. Then she slid one hand across the table, palm upward. "I'd like that," she said simply.

He took her hand. "You'd like being friends? Or you'd like me to do something stupid?"

Her eyes sparkled. "Both."

He laughed, and a weight of anxiety fell off him. "Wait, that quick? Just ... you're fine with ... with being more than just friends? Like, closer than a fire team?"

She gazed at him a long moment, then at their clasped hands. "I think I've wanted to be your girlfriend for a long time. But it took a while for me to figure it out. When you didn't come back from the Dreadnaught ... I was just sick. Because I never told you ... so many things. I do want to be your friend. And your teammate. And something more, eventually."

His heart fluttered. Her words warmed him like a healing beam from his ghost. The attraction was mutual - he had a partner in this delicate dance.

Ferral grinned awkwardly. "Would you believe I worried about this conversation all night?"

"I did, too," Lethia said, lacing her fingers through his. "I told Niki that ... well, I think I've held a candle for you since we met. But I didn't understand Guardians. I was mad at you for being one."

Ferral rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I thought you were beautiful, even on Mars when we both were dirty and tired. It annoyed me that you had the nerve to be such a jerk with looks like that."

Lethia beamed. "You understand. I didn't think you'd understand so easily. How is it this easy? I thought we'd have all kinds of misunderstandings and fights before we got this far."

"Honestly," Ferral said, "I stopped wanting to fight with you when I found you in the desert in the dark, buried under Hive thralls. That's when I realized ... I don't want to see you hurt. Ever."

She smiled a little, but her lips trembled. "I was so angry at you for killing Niki. But then ... I brought him back ... and you have to pay such an awful price. Hiding out here has only delayed it. And I ... don't want to lose you. It's that simple."

They gazed at each other fondly for a long moment.

"That's settled, then." Ferral released her hand and returned to his breakfast. "Now we can get on with life. A little more together than before."

Lethia gave him a bemused smile. "It's not like much has changed. You're doing better, but you're not recovered. I'm going to have to pick up food and report in with the Vanguard. If we do have a future together, it'll be a tricky one."

Ferral frowned. "Tricky, indeed."

Lethia filed a report saying she was working with an Awoken who had been mentally damaged by the war. All of which was true, and satisfied the Vanguard. But Ferral wasn't happy.

His nightmares returned the next few nights. He didn't tell Lethia about them until she noticed him beginning to look haggard again.

"You're not sleeping well," she observed a few mornings later.

"No," Ferral admitted. "I've been worrying, and that triggers the nightmares."

"Worrying about what?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Lethia ... you're important to me. I want to get well and reenter Vanguard service, so we can work together. But I have to face punishment for harming your ghost, and I don't know if they'll execute me or what. And don't say I could just hide out here," he added, as she started to suggest it. "That's cowardly, and I'm not going to behave like a coward. I'm a Guardian. I'm going to be worthy of you."

Lethia clasped his hand in both of hers and gazed at him anxiously. "I've been thinking about this, too. I can't see any way around it."

"So ... yes, I'm having nightmares." He gazed out a window. "And it's you they're killing. And I can only watch."

She moved up beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders. "That's awful. Would you be able to handle being on a fire team with me? We'll both get hurt. A lot."

His jaw tightened. "I don't know. At this point ... the trauma is still too close. Thinking about you taking bullets and being in pain, even for only a minute ..." His fists clenched. "I can't handle it."

Lethia didn't say anything, but she patted his back. He could tell she was touched.

"You don't have to go back to the Vanguard tomorrow," she pointed out. "You're not ready for combat at all."

"No," he said. "But I can't help thinking about it."