Chapter 16-We're Friends?

"Savior"

"All I'm saying, Amanda is that you walked out of the house this morning with a wonderful apple pie in your hand and a spring in your step and then you here this afternoon, dragging in with your chin on the linoleum. I'm just concerned, that's all."

"Thank you,' Amanda said softly, as her worry about Lee continued to plague her.

"Oh, good heavens, Amanda," Dotty said. You don't have to thank me. I mean, when you hurt, I hurt." Dotty turned to her, hoping to cheer her up and said, "I'll tell you what? Why don't we go to a movie? I'll call Mrs. Simms and she can come over and sit with Jamie and Phillip, and we'll see something with...a...well, with an R-rating for a change."

"Mother," Amanda said briefly glancing up from her bowl.

"Hmm?" Dotty said.

"One of my friends quit his job today," Amanda said sadly.

Amanda listened as her mother told her all about how her father had once quit a job and found a better opportunity and about how her friend had options. This idea perking her up and giving her hope that she could turn Lee around, she made her way quickly out of the house and to Lee's new apartment.

An hour later, Amanda sat in her car on the edge of tears after being rudely hustled out of Lee's home and that wasn't the worst of it. What had stung the most was when she'd told him that she wouldn't let it go because they were friends; he'd told her point blank that they were nothing more than former business associates as if all the time they'd spent in each other's arms had meant nothing. Amanda leaned her head against her steering wheel and let the tears fall, sobbing her heart out that he seemed to care so little for her that he could just brush her aside like that.

Lee sat in his apartment nursing a glass of scotch after Edson had left, cringing at the harsh words he'd spoken to Amanda, and hating the hurt look he'd seen in her eyes when he'd said them. "Former business associates, my ass," he muttered as he took a swig of his drink. He remembered vividly every moment he's spent in her arms, kissing her furiously, every touch, every word spoken in the throes of passion, needing her to sustain his heart the way he needed food to sustain his body.

"Damn!" he swore as he slammed his drink down and began pacing restlessly trying his damndest to figure out how he was going to make this up to her when it was all over. His pacing took him by the window overlooking the street and he did a double-take as he saw her car still parked outside. He paused at the window and glanced down, seeing her hunched over the steering wheel. "What is she-" He broke off, his heart breaking as he realized she was sobbing. Because of me, he thought, cursing himself, cursing this case, and cursing the agency's asinine policy of "need to know." It took all the willpower he had not to rush down there, take her in his arms and tell her that he didn't mean it, that he was on special assignment and he had to act as if he'd severed all ties with the agency.

Lee started when he saw her raise her head, wipe the tears from her eyes and glance up at his window. He started to back away, but then thought better of it. He gave her a warm smile, hoping she wasn't too far away to catch it. When she looked at him hopefully and made a move to open her door, he shook his head, giving her his best "trust me" look. She looked back at him, nodded, and then started her car and drove off. He just hoped she'd gotten the message.

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"I want you to forget anything that Ballon ever told you. I don't know what he said to get you into this, but he is not working for the agency, I AM!"

"You are, but he isn't," Amanda said in confusion.

"That's right," Lee said with a nod.

"Then why am I hauling this trailer around?" Amanda asked with a gesture to the horse trailer hitched to the back of her car.

"Well, let me ask you this? Who's the least obvious person in the whole world to be hauling a secret weapon, huh?" When Amanda nodded in acknowledgment, he continued, "A suburban mother in a station wagon hauling a trailer, right? Now, where are you supposed to be meeting him?"

Amanda sighed and said, "He lied to me and I believed him. I am really foolish."

"No, wait, hold it, hold it, you believed in me, huh? You did what you did because you trusted me. Now, I don't know anybody that would go that far out on a limb for a friend," Lee said feeling a dire need to make up to her for the way he'd treated her when he knew his place was bugged. He clasped her arms to comfort her and said, "Amanda, you are not foolish, You are very far from it."

"Friend?"Amanda said with a hopeful smile, the hurt she'd felt at his callous treatment of her easing up. "We're friends?"

He smiled at her, her smile and his touch on her arms both shocking him to his core. He released her arms and said, "Well, I...Uh...I exaggerate a little."

"There!" Lee shouted in triumph a short while later when Amanda's Bombers badge stopped them both from being blown sky high.

"I wasn't scared," Amanda said with a smile

Both he and Amanda breathed a sigh of relief as they leaned back against the horse trailer. "Oh, Whew!" Lee said as he tried to calm down.

"I wonder why everybody ran away like that," Amanda said.

Lee playing along with her twisted humor, still breathing heavily replied, "I don't know. Something we said, you think?"

Amanda looked at him with a piercing glare and he just smiled at her and grasped her arm as he laughed at their jokes. She couldn't help but laugh in return and clasped his hand on her arm. Their eyes locked as the contact jolted both of them, reminding them of how close they came to losing it all. Before either knew what was happening, they were wrapped in each other's arms, kissing feverishly as they groped at each other, both still reeling from the adrenaline rush of nearly dying. Lee slid his hand under her coat, tugging at the bottom of her blouse as he lowered his lips to her neck. "Lee," she sighed.

"'Manda," he murmured against her skin.

"Lee," Amanda said as she gasped for breath. "Not here." While she wanted him fiercely, this was a little too exposed for her even though the agency sedans had already peeled away in a frenzy.

Lee complied, reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet, arms still locked around her, stealing kisses here and there until he had guided her around to the still-opened back door of her car. He backed into it, felling backward onto the seat, pulling her atop him, still kissing her furiously. He felt a burning need to be close her after yet another near-death experience, needing to apologize to her for her awful treatment of her during this assignment, for treating her as if she didn't mean anything to him when nothing could be further from the truth. His hands slipped under her blouse again, running his hands up her bare back beneath it as she reached for the hooks of her bra and was surprised to find just a strap at her back. He pulled his lips from hers, looked at her in surprise, and said, "What?"

Amanda smiled at him, her eyes twinkling in merriment as she unfastened the buttons of her blouse revealing the front closure of her lacy white bra. "See?" she said, chuckling delightedly when he nodded in understanding.

Lee chuckled as well and said in a low voice, "What other surprises do you have for me in your lingerie drawer?" He couldn't help but wonder what else he would learn about her after the sheer, black lacy panties she'd worn under her evening gown and now this.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She teased as she planted a firm kiss to his lips. She then pulled back to look at him and said suggestively, "You know I have a blanket in the back," with a nod to the back of the wagon.

"Yeah?" He said as he caressed her exposed torso amazed by how she continually surprised him.

"Mm-hmm," she said. "And this seat folds down."

"Sounds like a plan," Lee said.

"I thought you might like that," Amanda said. She planted one more quick kiss ot his lips, then clamored over the back seat, unfolded and spread out the aforementioned blanket, while Lee found the latch to release the back seat, folded it down and soon joined her pulling his pullover jacket over his head and dropping it in the backseat on the way.

"Amanda," He growled against her ear as he took her in his arms again and they sank down together side by side, as he pushed her coat, cardigan and blouse off her shoulders in one smooth move, before flicking open her bra, then lowering his lips to her exposed breast while his hand caressed the other.

"Oh, Lee," she sighed at his touch, tears forming in her eyes, so glad to feel him so close to her again.

At hearing the quaver in her voice, Lee stopped what he was doing and was startled to see the tears in her eyes, "Amanda..."

"Don't stop," Amanda said. "I...I need you."

"Amanda, we should talk about this," Lee said feeling like a heel for making her cry again.

"No, no talking," She said reaching for her hand and placing it back on her breast. "Just touch me...Please." She tugged on the back of his head, urging him toward her. "I...I need you to touch me." She then tugged at the bottom of his turtleneck and yanked it from his pants sliding her hands over his skin, thumbing his nipples.

"Oh, Amanda, you're not playing fair," Lee groaned as the touch of her hands on his bare skin was making him crazy with need for her. There was so much that he wanted to say to her. "I need to apologize-" his words were cut off by her lips on his.

Amanda pulled back and said, "If you really want to apologize then touch me. Remember what you said about the bomb, it's gonna' blow? Well, if you don't touch me, I'm gonna' blow."

"Amanda," Lee protested, but was silenced by her finger on his lips.

"Lee, please. Make love to me," Amanda said her voice taking on a note of desperation, tugging again at the turtleneck that he wore, her need to feel his body molded to her overriding her common sense. He'd hurt her, but the look in his eyes when he'd said they were friends just before meeting Edson Ballon had told her that he didn't mean any of it.

This time Lee helped her to remove the garment, her pleading for him more than he could bear. He could no longer fight the urge to give into her burning need for her. If she wouldn't let him tell her how sorry he was, then by God, he was going to show her. He pulled her to him, crushing her breasts against the hard wall of his chest as plundered her mouth with his own, relishing the taste of her, the feeling of her so close to him, her scent invading his nostrils, while her nimble fingers ran over his skin, setting him alight with every touch. Needing to breathe, he pulled back from her for a brief moment, looked in her eyes and softly whispered, "Amanda, I really am sorry."

"Shhh," She said placing her finger to his lips again. "I know. I know you were just playing your cover. Now, less talking, more touching. I don't have a lot of time. Phillip has a school play tonight."

"Oh, right," Lee said as if he'd known about it when in reality, he had spent enough time with her in the past couple of days to really know what was going on in her life.

Amanda toed off her sneakers while Lee did the same, running his hands down her torso, his hand resting on her hip for a moment before he took the lead and rolled her beneath him. He ran his hands across her flat stomach as the thought of her son made him remember that she was a mother. He placed a soft kiss to her abdomen, awed by the fact that for a woman who'd given birth to two children she had an incredibly slender body. He'd heard from the married guys at work that once their wives had kids, they went to hell, but Amanda obviously had not. Other than the slight shadow of faded stretch marks, there was no evidence that she'd carried two babies inside her. As he pressed his lips against her skin, showering her with soft kisses, he couldn't help but wonder what she'd looked like when she'd carried them, which caused his mind to ponder what she would look like if she carried his child. That thought only increased his desire to fill her completely as he opened her jeans and shifted to pull them down her long, shapely legs, dragging her panties down with them. When she was naked beneath, him, he whispered in a hoarse voice, "You're so beautiful," just before he dipped his head between her leg to taste her, feeling her hands sliding through his hair as he did so.

"Lee," Amanda sighed as he worked her into a frenzy with his lips ant tongue, her building desire for him so fierce that it wasn't long before she was trembling beneath him, calling out his name repeatedly. She closed her eyes tightly against the onslaught of sensation, her mind only barely registering the hiss of his zipper before she felt him pushing inside her, stretching her, filling her the way she'd wanted him to. She waited with breathless anticipation and when he just stayed still, she opened her eyes to find his eyes staring into hers, questioning, as if asking for permission to continue. Her answer was to slide her arms up his chest to his shoulders, pulling him down to her, needing to feel his reassuring weight above her.

"Amanda, I-"Lee began wanting to tell her just how much her felt for her, but for the third time, she silenced him, placing her finger against his lips.

"No talking, remember?" She slid one leg along his before wrapping both of them around him, pushing up with her hips, wanting to pull him deeper into her.'

"Ohhhh," Lee groaned at feeling Amanda wrapping herself around him giving herself to him completely. He complied with her wishes, pushing into her fully, the retreating and advancing repeatedly. Feeling her welcoming him with each thrust was like coming home. His thoughts drifted to the home life and family that he'd never had and how easy it would be to let her give him that home if only he could bring himself to tell her that. For a fleeting moment, he wished she weren't on the pill, that she'd allow him to create that family life that he so desperately craved...with her. His distance from her this week had made him realize just how at home he felt with her, longing to be welcomed into her warm home, the same way she welcomed him into her body. Those thoughts becoming too overwhelming, he tried to suppress them, knowing it would never happen as he buried his face in her neck, peppering her neck, her face and her jaw with tiny, soft kisses as he moved within her, longing for a day when he didn't have to hide in her backyard. He increased the pace, driving into her harder than he had before, needing the release that only she could give him, not just the physical release, but release from the pain of his past.

"LEE!"Amanda cried, another intense orgasm ripping into her as she clutched at his shoulder, her nails biting into his skin while she nipped at his neck the same way he was with hers. She pushed her hips up against him, needing to drive him over the edge, to feel him exploding within her as the bomb would have had they not stopped it together.

"AMANDA!"Lee shouted unable to help himself as their movements, her cries of pleasure and her body wrapped so tightly around his, set off the time bomb that had been ticking within him since the day he'd met her. He continued his movements, emptying himself into her, filling her and wishing that one day, they'd both be able to let their guard down enough that he could truly fill her. Breathing heavily, he collapsed atop her, whispering her name again and again and raining tender kisses on her skin until his shaking subsided. When he was able to finally breathe normally again, he pulled back to look at her with a smile only to have his smile fade within seconds at seeing silent tears streaming down her cheeks. "Amanda..." he said, not sure what to say. In his frenzy to possess her, had her hurt her? Surely, she'd have said something or told him to stop if he'd been hurting her. He made a move to pull away from her, but was stopped by her arms pulling him to her.

"Don't, Lee," Amanda said in a shaky voice. "Not yet. I...I need to feel you inside me just a little bit longer." She swallowed hard and then continued. "With what happened, I...I...thought I'd never get to have this with you again."

Lee reached out to wipe her tears away and asked, "Is that what these are about?" Amanda nodded. "You don't have to worry about that. Anytime you want me, I'm yours." Realizing how that sounded, he quickly pulled back, withdrawing from her, reaching for his discarded clothes as he turned from her. Smooth, Lee, he scolded himself. Way to make it sound like you're just using her for sex, when in reality, you know you can't breathe without her.

"Lee..." Amanda whimpered at the loss of him close to her.

"We...uh...we should get you home. You've got Phillip's play, remember?"

"Right," Amanda said as she began getting dressed. "Lee?" she said hesitantly.

"Hmmm?"he said his voice muffled as he pulled his turtleneck back over his head.

"Did you mean it when you said we were friends?"

He smiled at her and said, "Yeah, we're...friends," and lovers, he added to himself, wishing to God, he had the courage to say it aloud. "Hey, do you have time to give me a lift back to m place?"

"Yeah, I've got time," Amanda said smiling back at him. For him, she had all the time in the world.

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That night in the school auditorium, Dotty glanced at her daughter and the wistful smile on her face. "You certainly look like you're feeling better."

"I am, Mother," Amanda said.

"So, does that mean your "friend" is back on the right track?"

"Yes, Mother, he is. In fact, he was never on the wrong track to begin with. I...um...I just misunderstood what he was doing. Everything's okay now."

"Good, good," Dotty said. "So, I...uh...I have to know. Is this the same friend that you were having your "business" discussion with in the back yard?"

"Mother!"

"Never mind, never mind. It's your life," Dotty said but with a look at her daughter that clearly said she was done inquiring about her mysterious friend.

"Yes, Mother, it is my life, which makes it my business," Amends snapped tiring of her mother's incessant questioning of her life choices. "I really wish you would stop treating me as if you're Miss Marple and I'm some murder suspect. I think you've been reading those Agatha Christie novels too long."

"Darling, you know that I only ask these questions because I care," Dotty replied.

"I know you care, but you're just going to have to trust me that I know what I'm doing."

"Amanda-" Dotty began.

"The curtain's rising, Mother," Amanda said with a nod at the stage. She smiled as she waited for the play to begin.

Lee slipped unobserved into the back of the auditorium, searching with just his eyes until he spotted Amanda sitting in the front row with her mother. He smiled as he watched her watch her son on stage, wondering if the day would ever come that he'd be allowed to sit with her at these things,. He chuckled as he reflected back on their argument about Bomber fathers, during the case that had nailed David Benson when he'd emphatically told her he never had any intention of being a Bombers father. He glanced up at Phillip on stage and his smile widened as he thought about the fact that her bombers button had save both of their lives, thinking for the first time, that maybe being a Bombers father wouldn't be so bad. He crept silently through the auditorium and found a seat in the back where he wouldn't be observed and settled in to watch the show, his smile never fading.