Chapter 31-In Your Company
"Playing Possum"
"Amanda, is there anything you'd like to talk to me about?" Dotty asked worriedly.
Amanda turned from her mother to sit on the arm of the couch, nervously biting her thumbnail and said evasively, "Like what, Mother?"
"Well, we could start with an explanation of why you left the house this morning all up and happy and then returned this afternoon all depressed and confused, "Dotty replied sure that it must have something to do with her secret lover.
"Depressed and confused," Amanda repeated as she chewed her nails her mind barely registering her mother's words as she worried about the agency, what had happened, where everybody was, but mostly worrying about Lee, where he was and whether he was safe.
"I know when you're troubled, Amanda. You don't eat, you don't sleep and you bite your nails."
Amanda abruptly pulled her hand from her mouth and said, "I do not bite my nails, Mother. I have never bitten my nails. I'm gonna check dinner."
Amanda hurried into the kitchen with her mother hot on her heels saying, "You look like you're biting your nails. Now, I am not going to talk about your work with this film company because I agreed that it's none of my business, but I do have the right to be...uh...concerned about your well-being. Film people are different, Amanda. They have strange views and attitudes. I'm not so sure that they are the kind of people you should be with," Dotty said thinking of one film person in particular, this mystery lover who seemed to have her daughter riding an emotional roller coaster. "Film people are not always what they seem. And-"
"Right," Amanda said to cut her mother off as during her tirade about film people, the subject of her rant had appeared at the kitchen window.
"Right," Dotty agreed.
"Yes, Mother, you're right. And I think I better just go outside an think about what you just said because it is so right," Amanda said as she hurried to the back door.
"Right," Dotty said as Amanda exited.
As soon as she stepped outside, she heard the familiar husky voice that made her stomach do flip-flops. "You're all right, I was so worried."
Lee smiled warmly at her concern for him. "I'm fine, I'm fine," he said reassuringly.
While conversing with Yuri, it became apparent to Lee that he had found him through Amanda, but more than that, he realized by the tone in which he'd said he'd seen her in his company, he believed they were a couple. He smiled at Amanda as he told her he didn't want her cover blown, calling her "Sweetheart" and "Honey" to make it seem as real as he wanted it to be. He found he rather liked it.
In the back room of the bowling alley, he watched Amanda hedging and trying to get out of being hypnotized and couldn't help wondering if she was thinking the same thing that he was, what might be revealed under hypnosis other than just the contents of the wiretaps?
Later that night after her rounds of hypnosis and learning of the nuclear bomb, Amanda once again fidgeted nervously and said, "Lee, if I could just get Mother and the boys on the train to Vermont...I could come back in the morning."
"Go," he said understanding her need to protect her family as he had the same need to protect her.
As Amanda was rising from her seat, Francine stopped her with a loud, "NO! She stays! She had vital information! She stays!"
Francine pointed a long finger in Lee's face who countered with, "Francine, it's Amanda," giving her a pointed look.
Seeing the look on Lee's face that said just how much he cared for Amanda, Francine looked away, then looked at Amanda and said, "Go on," while Lee just smiled at the woman he loved.
After Lee and Yuri had brought Francine and the other agents up to speed, Francine took him aside and said with a stern look, "What exactly is going on between you and Amanda?"
"I don't know what you mean," Lee said evasively.
"Oh, are we going to play this game again where you pretend that you're not sleeping with her even though I caught you in the act?"
"So, you caught us together, so what?"
"Yeah, and I also saw you leaving her cabin in a huff. What was that all about?"
"We had a fight, that's all," Lee said. "It happens, but we both got over it."
"A fight? Since when do you get over a fight with a girlfriend? Your habit is after a fight, making sure they know that they're no longer your girlfriend. She is your girlfriend now, isn't she?"
"Amanda's not my girlfriend and she never has been," Lee said sadly.
"OH? Then why does Yuri in there seem to think she is? He kept calling her your lady and what was that look about tonight?"
"What look?"Lee said impatiently. "There was no look."
"There was a look and that look that said..." Francine paused searching his face for the answer she sought.
"What?" Lee snapped, feeling immensely uncomfortable with her intense scrutiny of him.
"Boy, she's really done a number on you. You're falling for her, aren't you?"
"What? No, don't be ridiculous. No," Lee said. It was at least partially true. He wasn't falling for her; he'd already fallen for her...hard.
"Then explain to me your willingness to violate protocol tonight so she could get her family out of here."
"Francine, in case you haven't noticed, I've always helped her look out for her family when there's a potential threat to them. I feel a responsibility to them because I'm the one who dragged Amanda into this crazy business. I'm the reason that they've been in danger to start with. If I'd never handed her that package that day in the train station, they would never have been involved in any of this."
"And right now, we wouldn't have any leads on where this bomb is either. You can keep telling yourself that you're not involved with her, but I know better."
"Look, I admit that I care about her..."
"But for how long? How long is it going to be before you get tired of her just like you get tired of every other woman you've ever been involved with, just like you got tired of me?"
"Ah-a," Lee said triumphantly. "That's what this is really about, isn't it? You're mad because Amanda's held my attention longer that you did. You're jealous of her."
"Jealous, ha!' Francine scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. That was over a long time ago! No, my only concern is that you don't chase her off before we have a chance to get things back to normal."
"I don't think I could chase her off if I tried," Lee said with some amusement as he thought of all the times he'd tried to talk her into leaving the agency for her own safety and she stubbornly refused and was always determined to watch his back.
"You'd just better hope you're right. As much as it pains me to say this, we need Amanda right now, so you just better not screw this up," she said jabbing him in the chest with her finger before sauntering off.
While Lee was dealing with Francine, Amanda was dealing with a difficult conversation of her own. "I thought you were going to call if you were very late," Dotty said from the doorway of the living room as her wayward daughter walked in the door.
Amanda jumped at the sound of her mother's voice, frantic to get plans made to get her and the boys out of town before the DC area would potentially become a ball of flames. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm very sorry, Mother," Amanda said. "I was...um...involved."
"Mm-hm," Dotty said thinking she knew just what she was involved in. "With your mystery man, I presume." Her daughter wasn't fooling her. She'd seen the silver sports car parked down the block and it had been there all afternoon and evening while Amanda had taken off in her own car, so she knew they'd gone somewhere together.
"No, Mother, I just...after our talk...I...I just needed some time to think," she put her bowling bag away and closed the closet door firmly.
"About your mystery man?"Dotty said shaking her head in disbelief. She'd thought she'd gotten through to her with her talk about "film people." Clearly this man fit into what she knew about such people. More than a year had passed since he'd begun this love affair with her daughter, yet there still seemed to be no sign that it was going anywhere.
"Mother, why does everything in my life have to revolve around a man?"
"You're right, you're right, it doesn't. It's late. We'll talk about this in the morning. I'm just glad you're home."
Dotty then went up to her room while Amanda reached for the phone and began frantically dialing, "Uncle Herman," she said when the phone was answered "Yes, I'm sorry for calling so late. I need to ask a big favor. It's an emergency."
Her phone calls done and arrangements made to get her family to Vermont as quickly as possible, her worry returned. What if they weren't able to locate the bomb in time? Then it would be over. They'd both be dead without ever having a chance to know what they really mean to each other. She made her way upstairs and began to get undressed for bed, her thoughts a jumble. What if it really happened this time and she never got to tell him that she loved him? Standing there half-dressed, she made a decision. Instead of going to bed as she knew she should, she reached into her closet, then into her lingerie drawer, wanting to give Lee a night to remember in case they never had another one like it,. She dressed quickly and headed out the door, driving as fast as she could to the bowling alley.
Left alone with his thoughts after being accosted by Francine, Lee kept pondering her words about Amanda being his girlfriend. He'd denied it, of course, just as he'd denied it many times to Amanda herself, but he couldn't help wondering if Francine was right. He'd never just gotten over a fight with any woman in his life. After a fight like the one he and Amanda had had, the woman in question would have just been a distant memory. Not Amanda though. When they fought, she had this way of making him feel incredibly guilty for his part in whatever they fought about as if the whole thing had been his fault.
He then thought about Yuri, how he had said he'd seen Amanda in his company many times and wondered just how much he'd seen. Did he know that they were lovers? Did he know that they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other? Did he see that Amanda made him feel like a hormonal schoolboy whenever she was around, how he couldn't get enough of her? Did he know that he couldn't live without her, that she was like a drug to him, that he needed her like he needed the air he breathed? More importantly, did Amanda know? She gave him that look sometimes that said that he didn't need to actually say the words for her to know how he felt about her, that she already knew, but then the way that she would question what the nature of their relationship was and make him wonder just how much she knew. Now with this bomb threat hanging over their heads, she might never know what she meant to him. He had to change that.
Determined that if they weren't able to stop the bomb and they died tomorrow, that he wouldn't let that happen without telling Amanda the truth, he poked his head in the door of the back room where the other agents were gathered and said, "I'm gonna' take a walk. I need to clear my head." When he received murmurs of assent and one very pointed look from Francine, he quickly made his way out to the parking lot. It was then that he realized that he had no way to get to his destination as his 'vette was still parked down the street from Amanda's house as they'd driven there together. "Damn!" he swore and kicked the side of the building in frustration. "Damn, damn, damn!"
He was just about to make his way back into the building when he heard the squeal of tires behind him and smiled as he saw the familiar family station wagon barreling into the parking lot. He trotted out to meet her. She'd barely parked the car when he yanked open her door, released the catch on her seat belt and hauled her roughly out of the car, pinned her against its frame and kissed her soundly, pouring all the love he felt for her into that one kiss. He tugged on the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her thick dark curls as they kissed for what felt like an eternity, relishing her eager response as her hands snaked to the back of his head to pull him in deeper.
They kissed feverishly, tongues dueling as they clung to each other until oxygen became an issue and they were forced to break apart, both breathing heavily, chests heaving. "Lee, I..." Amanda began just as he was saying, "I thought you weren't coming back until morning."
They both chuckled softly and Lee said, "I thought you were going home to get your family out of here."
"The arrangements are all made," Amanda explained. "My uncle Herman is going to let them stay with him a little earlier than we planned on. They'll be leaving first thing in the morning."
Lee nodded and said, "Maybe you should go with them where you'll be safe."
"No," Amanda said firmly. "I won't leave you to face this by yourself. Besides, you may need me. We don't know what else may be locked in my memory that could help stop this."
Lee cupped her face, caressing it softly. "But if we don't stop this, you...you could ...you could die."
"So could you," Amanda said. "And if that's going to happen, I...I...I don't want you to die alone."
"That's just the deal that I signed on for when I started this job," Lee said trying to sound nonchalant about it. The fear of saying had never bothered him before because there was no one to say good-bye to, no one who'd care if he were gone, and no one who needed him. He had sometimes even wished for it just to end the misery of being so utterly alone, his job being the only thing he lived for, but now with Amanda in his life, he felt he had everything to live for. "But you didn't."
"Yes, I did," Amanda said. "I knew from the first time that I met you when I took hat package from you that I was getting into something dangerous. I knew when Mr. Melrose offered me this job, that it could cost me my life, but if I can make a difference like I always wanted to..." her voice trailed off as a sad memory struck her.
"What does that mean?"Lee questioned seeing the sadness in her eyes.
"It doesn't matter," Amanda said as she shook off the memories of her past and continued with, "what matters now is that we fight this and if we don't make it, that we make the most of what time we've got left together."
"Is that why you came back?" Amanda nodded and tugged on the back of his head again to pull him in for another kiss desperate to let him know how she felt about him, but still too afraid to say the words. She'd come back fully intending to throw caution to the wind and say it, but now that she thought about it, she didn't want it to happen this way. She didn't want to come clean with him only when it might be the end of the world as they knew it, didn't want him to think that that was the only reason she was saying it.
Lee kissed her back with equal fervor for a moment before pulling back and saying, "Not here. Let's get inside." He released his hold on her long enough to shut the car door and then reached for her hand, leading her back into the darkened bowling alley.
"Where are we going? Aren't there other agents still in here?"Amanda questioned.
"Yeah, but only in the meeting room," Lee answered as they reached the closed door to the bowling alley's bar on the opposite side of the building. "The bowling alley's closed now, so we won't be disturbed." Still gripping her hand tightly, he used his free hand to dig for his keys and unlocked the door, pulled her inside and quickly followed, locking the door behind them. He'd barely had time to flip the light on when Amanda was on him again, tugging at his tie and nipping at his neck. He gently pulled her from him, again cupped her face in his hands and said, "Amanda, wait. I...There's something that I have to say before I lose my nerve and if we don't stop this bomb, I may never bet another chance." He lowered his hand to take both of hers in his and began, "Amanda, I lo-" His words were halted by her lips on his.
Amanda pulled her hands from his and tugged at the back of his head. If she died tomorrow, she wanted more than anything to just feel what he made her feel when she was in his arms one more time.
Lee pulled back again and said, "Amanda..."
"Shhh," she said with a finger to his lips.
"But I need...There's so much I want to say to you," Lee protested.
"No," Amanda said. "Anything you say right now is going to sound like good-bye and I..." she licked her lips nervously and then continued."I don't want it to be that way. I don't want you to say something that you're not ready to say just because you think we're gonna' die." More than anything, she didn't want him taking it back later if they did survive. She could practically hear his speech in her head about how they reached out to each other because they were once again in a life or death situation. She had the speech memorized now. She couldn't take it again.
"But you should know..."
"I know, Sweetheart, I know," she whispered softly.
Lee smiled at her calling him sweetheart and slid his hands to her waist, "You changed clothes," he said taking in her dark blue blouse and the skirt she wore.
"Mm-hmm," she said as she stepped closer to him and slid her hands slowly up his chest to rest on his shoulders, "for you."
"I like it," he said as he bent his head to kiss her and tugged on her hips to pull her against him. If she wasn't going to let him tell her how much he felt for her, he was damn sure going to show her. He groaned at the feeling of her being pressed against him while she loosed his tie and tossed it aside, then began working the buttons on his shirt loose. He lowered his lips to her neck as he started doing the same to her blouse while she yanked the tails of his shirt from his pants. He pulled back long enough to undo the cuffs at his wrists to allow her to push his shirt from him. He gaped at her for a moment at the lacy confection he'd exposed beneath her blouse. "I like this too," he said as he dropped her blouse to the floor and then lightly fingered the satiny straps of the sexy black bra she wore. "Was this for me too?"
"Well, since I don't own a sexy nightgown, I thought this would be the next best thing," she said with a smile as she kissed him gently.
Lee chuckled softly and said, "It works," as he pulled her to him again then back her up against the bar before lowering his lips to her neck again, then trailing kisses across her collarbone, while he unhooked her bra, slid it down her arms then kept going with him mouth until he captured one breast.
Amanda arched her back against him as Lee suckled her nipple into hardness and then turned his attention to the other one to give it the same treatment. "Oh, Lee," Amanda sighed as she ran her hands up his chest to his shoulders while his hands found the zipper on her skirt and she felt it pooling at her feet.
"This is nice too," Lee said as he raised his head to look at her and saw the panties she wore matched the bra he just stripped her of.
"So, is this," Amanda said as she reached down to clutch his bottom for a moment, before turning her attention to his belt, loosening it quickly.
Lee groaned as Amanda made quick work of the closures on his slacks and worked her hand inside wrapping it around him. "Amanda," he hissed loving the feeling of her slender fingers stroking his manhood. He stepped back from her long enough to step out of his shoes and kick his pants completely off, then hosted her up to sit on the bar, slid her panties down her long legs, the planted himself on the barstool in front of her. He parted her legs and trailed kisses up the inside of her thighs one at a time, suckling at the tender skin there as he went before fully claiming her with his mouth.
"Lee," Amanda gasped, her hands flying to his head as she planted her feet against his thighs and just reveled in the sensations he was creating. Her breath was becoming erratic as he nipped at her with his teeth, suckling and licking her until she felt her climax overwhelming her and cried out his name clutching his head, finger tangling in his hair.
Lee looked up and smiled smugly at the glazed look in her eyes, rose for just a moment to shuck off his boxers, then sat back down, pulled her from the bar into his lap to straddle him, guiding himself into her in one fluid movement. "Oh, Amanda," he groaned loudly at the feeling of being joined with her again. God, would he ever get enough of this, of how the fit together so perfectly? He just wished their lives could blend as easily. He grasped her waist leaning her slightly back against the bar to change the angle of his penetration as he pushed up into her while she pushed down against him. He turned his attention back to her breasts, finding one with his mouth and teasing it with his tongue as they moved together. He trailed kisses across her chest and murmured against her skin, "This is what you really came back for, isn't it?"
"Yes," she answered in a husky voice through her heavy breathing, "Oh, yes," she cried as the sensation built again. God, how she loved having this man inside her, hearing him whisper to her as he made love to her.
"Oh, Sweetheart," he groaned not even thinking about endearment slipping from his lips as he'd been using it all day in front of Yuri to maintain the cover as lovers that the Russian had established for them. He gripped her hips tighter, increasing the pace. ""Oh, Amanda, my Amanda, my sweetheart," he cried as he exploded within her. He pulled her head down and claimed her mouth with his as he pumped his seed into her delighted to feel her clenching around him.
Amanda clutched his shoulder, digging her nails into his skin as her second orgasm slammed into her just as she felt his warmth spilling into her, her heart soaring at hearing him calling her name, calling her his sweetheart. She knew it was a moment that wouldn't last as he was only honest with his feelings when they were intimate. She knew tomorrow, it would be business as usual, complete with mutual denials of their real feelings, but she was enjoying it for now, allowing herself to believe just for now that she really was his sweetheart. She'd deal with tomorrow when it was here. As their movements stilled and breathing slowed back to a normal rate, she pulled back from their kiss, looked into his eyes and was startled to see the outpouring of emotion there. He wasn't hiding it. His love for her was plain as day on his face. She felt happy tears stinging her own eyes, but blinked them back, knowing that the moment was too good to last. "Well, I'm very glad that I came back," she said trying to make a joke of it before he could trot out "the speech" again.
"I am too," Lee replied and then kissed her softly.
She pulled back, slid from his lap and said, "But I...uh...I really should get back home if I'm going to get Mother and the boys on the train in the morning," as she began to gather up her clothes.
"Yeah," Lee said as he rose from the barstool, reached for his fallen boxers and pulled them on. "Maybe you should reconsider going with them."
Here it comes, Amanda thought. "No," she said as she zipped up her skirt then put her bra back on.
"For your own safety," Lee argued.
"Lee, I said no. Now, I'm going to see this through to the end, no matter what that end might be."
"Amanda King, you are the most stubborn-"
"Lee, listen, if the end comes tomorrow, then I want to be with you when it does," she said as she fastened the last button on her blouse. "So don't argue." She kissed him one last time, snatched up her purse and hurried out the door.
"Yeah, me too," Lee said staring at her retreating form in wonder.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Two days later, as they were putting the agency back together, Francine walked by them and couldn't help wondering what the banter between them was all about. She could hazard a guess as Lee was saying Amanda was easy while she protested that she was not. She decided she didn't want to know and instead asked them about the lamp. When Lee's reply was to tell her to try the blue wire and both of them laughed uproariously at it as if it were some private joke, she looked at them curiously wondering just what their real relationship was.