Chapter 33-Pretty Firmly Hooked
"Ship of Spies"
After Emiliano had left, Lee looked at Amanda and the nervous look on her face. "Uh...Amanda..."
"Yeah," She replied her irritation with him showing plainly on her face.
Lee glanced at the tiny bed in the corner of the cabin. "I...uh...I know what you're thinking, but..." He crossed the room quickly and opened the door, "Voila! Adjoining rooms," he said with a smile.
"Mmm," was Amanda's only reply as she looked away from him to prevent herself from getting caught up in his adorable smile and forget why she was mad at him.
Lee's face fell at seeing the look on hers and said nervously, "That's not what you're thinking?"
She turned back to face him, eyes flaring and let him have it, "No, it isn't. It really isn't. What I was thinking is, is that you've have plenty of time to tell me all the details about our assignment." She began counting off on her fingers as she spoke, her voice rising, "You could have told me in the supermarket, you've could have told me in the car on the way to the airport, you could have even told me in the airplane."
"All right, maybe I should have said something," Lee conceded.
"Maybe you should have said something?" Amanda repeated incredulously. "Lee, on a need to know basis, I think maybe this time I had a need to know."
"Okay, okay, I apologize," Lee said in defeat.
"Well, why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because I didn't think you'd agree to come along," Lee admitted.
"Well, why not?" Amanda asked with a shrug of her shoulders, a look of confusion on her face.
"Because I know how strongly you feel about marriage. Look, Amanda, I have two whole days to wrap up this investigation. We won't even get as far as the ceremony, believe me."
"Wait a minute," Amanda said worriedly as a thought struck her.
"What?"
"What if we do?" She had no problem pretending to be his fiancée, but to actually marry him strictly for a cover would be just too much when he couldn't even admit that there was something between them.
"We won't," Lee said with more confidence than he felt.
"What if we did? What if we had to go through with it and get married so we wouldn't blow our cover?" Panic set in as she thought of that. While she'd often thought of what it would be like if Lee would ever come clean with his feelings for her to the point that their relationship would lead to marriage, this was not the way she would want something like that to happen.
"Yeah," Lee said her words sinking in. While he'd thought many times of marrying Amanda, especially seeing her in that white, flowing dress she'd worn to the party last week, he wouldn't want to marry her under these circumstances.
"Yeah?" Amanda questioned in shock, utterly amazed that that thought had never occurred to him.
"Yeah...uh..." he stammered nervously. "I've got work to do...and...uh...I've gotta' go." As luck would have it, she wouldn't let him just make a graceful exit and insisted on knowing what he was up to, so as quickly as he could, he explained, then made a hasty retreat.
The following night, in Lee's cabin after Amanda's near death experience, they were discussing the situation trying to decide whether Amanda should stay or go.
"We'll have to get married," Lee said, the realization sinking in.
At seeing the stunned look on both of their faces, Emiliano said, "Perhaps, I should leave you two to discuss this," then left the room as quickly as he could.
"So...um...We...uh...should talk about this," Lee said with an intent look at Amanda as he thought of the possibilities. Damn it, what is it with her and the white dresses, he thought as his mind wandered to the idea of her in another white dress tomorrow.
"I...uh...don't see what there is to talk about," Amanda said.
"You don't see..." Lee gaped at her in surprise. He sighed and then crossed the room to sit across from her on the loveseat, took her hands in his and said softly, "Amanda, we're talking about marriage here." He idly thumbed the engagement ring on her finger as he waited for her response. When she was silent, he said, "I...uh...I mean, after our talk last week, I know how you feel about marriage and I..."
"Lee, stop, this isn't necessary," Amanda said, squeezing his hands reassuringly. "I...uh...mean, it's our cover, right?" She chuckled nervously. "I mean, it's...uh...it's not like you...um...would ever want to...uh...to marry me for real. We...um...we'll just play our cover and...uh...then..." she found that she couldn't finish the thought, the idea of another marriage ending, even if it wasn't a real one, was utterly abhorrent to her.
Amanda's nervous stammering was cut off by Lee's lips on hers as he released her hands to clasp the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair, pulling her tightly to him as he nipped at her lips, his tongue darting out to encourage her to open to him.
Amanda responded to Lee's fervent kiss the only way she knew how, clutching his head as she opened her mouth to his, hopeful that this meant that the idea of marrying her wasn't totally distasteful to him. She moaned against him as he pulled her into his lap, one hand sliding beneath her dress to caress her bare thigh beneath it. She trembled at his touch, her emotions getting the better of her at the tenderness of his hand on her skin. She reflected on the events of the past few days, how he'd linked his arm with hers, held her hand repeatedly, how he'd kept this arm at the small of her back when they walked together and after her accident, had thoughtfully removed his own jacket to warm her chilled body. She knew without a doubt that these were not things that he did just to maintain their cover, but because he was every bit as much in love with her as she was with him, even if he wouldn't own up to it.
The heat of their kisses grew as the excitement built between them, Lee groaning, but never breaking their kiss as he felt Amanda's hand opening his pants and slipping her hand inside to stroke him. He plundered her mouth with his own, his tongue darting in and out of her mouth mimicking the age-old dance that he found he couldn't get enough of with her. He slid his hand up further to delve inside the satiny thong she wore beneath her dress. Sooner than he wanted to, he felt Amanda pulling back from their fiery kiss; disappointment flooding through him, that feeling soon replaced by a different feeling entirely as Amanda shifted to fully straddle him and guided him into her, all the while gazing intently into his eyes.
Amanda braced her hands on Lee's shoulders and began to rock against him, pushing him deeper inside of her. She locked eyes with him and raised her left hand to caress his face as she felt him pushing against her, the momentum building as they picked up the pace together, both needing the completion that they could only find with each other. Lee clasped the hand on his face, gazed for a moment at the sparking diamond ring he'd placed there the day before, placed a soft kiss to her palm, then released it, lowering his own hand back between them to touch her center, knowing just the right place to touch her to bring her over the edge.
"Lee," Amanda gasped as the pleasure of his touches and his hard length inside her took over. She leaned into him, clamped her mouth down on his neck, nipping and tugging at his skin with her teeth as he lowered his own mouth to her shoulder, sliding the strap of her dress down with his free hand to give himself full access to her soft skin as they rocked together. "Oh, God," she cried as her climax took her over leaving her shaking uncontrollably and gasping for breath.
Lee removed his hand from her, pushed her backward onto the couch, braced one foot against the floor and drove into her as hard as he could while the tremors from her orgasm still assailed her. Feeling her trembling beneath him, her tight muscles clenching around him sent him spiraling over the edge with her. "Amanda," He groaned as pumped furiously into her, emptying himself within her. "Oh, Amanda," he said just before he collapsed atop her, peppering her face and neck with soft kisses. He couldn't help thinking of Amanda's words to Mile and Jillian about him being pretty firmly hooked. Boy, did she ever have that right.
Once his breathing had slowed, Lee pulled back to look at her and said with an impish grin, "You know, this is one part of being married to you that wouldn't be all that bad," earning him a resounding smack on the arm from Amanda.
"Hey," she said, but couldn't help laughing. As they both sat up and began to right their clothing, her thoughts turned serious again and she said, "What are we gonna' do?"
Lee sighed and said, "Just what you said, I guess. We'll play our cover and deal with the rest when it comes." He paused for a bear and said, "Would it be totally horrible...being married to me, I mean?"
"No, it wouldn't be totally horrible," Amanda said honestly as she rose to her feet and smoother her dress out, then nodded toward the loveseat where he still sat, "Especially not that part, but there is one part that would be and that's you and your girls, the Cindis and Margos and Gillians..."
"Amanda..."Lee began but then stopped. How could he explain to her that those women didn't mean anything and in fact, were a desperate attempt to hide from his intense feelings for her and selfishly to even make her a little jealous so she'd admit to her own feelings for him?
"Look, it's been a long day and it's getting late. We should both get some sleep," Amanda said and without giving him a chance to respond hurried through the door to her own room slamming the door behind her. She sank wearily onto the bed and let the tears that had been threatening finally fall, burying her face in her hands as her misery took her over. The cool metal of the engagement ring against her skin caught her attention.
She wiped her tears away and slipped the ring from her finger to examine it more closely. It wasn't the same ring she'd worn on other occasions when undercover as his wife. She'd noticed that from the moment that he'd placed it on her finger. As she looked at it, she noticed the inscription on the inside of it and moved to hold it under the lamp to read it. "MS and JH, 1949," she read aloud. She glanced to the closed door between their adjoining cabins and wondered what that was all about. She knew that his father's first name was Matthew, but she realized that she didn't know that much about his mother. Was she the JH in the inscription? The timing would have fit since Lee was born in 1950. She smiled slightly at the idea that he'd given her his mother's engagement ring to wear, even if it was just for a cover assignment.
She reflected back on their initial meeting with Mile and Jillian and their differing answers on the length of their engagement and her comment about him being pretty firmly hooked. She knew that it was true. He was just as hooked on her as she was on him, so why was he too stubborn to admit it? Why did he keep seeing other women? Like you have any room to talk, she scolded herself. She was just as stubborn about admitting her deep feelings for him, terrified of being the first one to say it and have him just deny that he reciprocated those feelings, the way he'd done many times after they'd been particularly close. Why was it that he could be so open when they were making love, yet so closed off the rest of the time?
Lee stared in silence at the closed door that now stood between him and the woman he loved. He sighed at her abrupt departure. He had seriously thought about going after her to explain to her what he'd really meant during their talk about marriage and to explain to her about the other women that he'd dated. "Oh, what's the use?" he muttered as he flung himself onto his bed in frustration. He reflected on her reaction when he put the engagement ring on her finger, how shocked she'd been, how angry she'd been with him later for not telling her ahead of time what their cover was.
Now, they were going to be forced to get married to maintain that cover, an idea that had some appeal to him, but was clearly distasteful to her. How was he going to get out of this? While he'd love the idea of having something more permanent with her, she obviously didn't want that. That would mean dissolving their marriage as soon as they got back to DC, a thought that filled him with dread. After their conversation last week about her divorce, he'd realized very quickly that she still had some residual pain left over from that and he couldn't bear the thought of putting her through that again, even if they hadn't planned to get married.
As he thought about it, he wondered if she even realized that it was his mother's ring that she was wearing; if she knew how much that meant to him. It had been a matter of necessity since this case was a last-minute deal and he hadn't had time to get the fabrication guys to work up a decent cover for them. "That's it," he said sitting upright as an idea struck him. He'd just fabricate his information on the marriage license, making it invalid. That would work. Then they wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness of what to do with their marriage once they got home. It would be easy enough to use one of the cover names that he'd used in the past. He nodded firmly and said, "That'll work."
The following day, when meeting Amanda in the assembly line of couples waiting to say their vows, Lee found he couldn't stop looking at her in her satin and lace-wedding gown. She looked so beautiful that he was beginning to regret that he'd falsified his information. It would have been interesting to see how this would have played out if they were legally married.
Amanda glanced at Lee, caught him looking at her and then sighed when he abruptly looked away and shifted awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable with the thought that she'd caught him staring at her. Oh, well, it gave her the opportunity to look at him anyway and man, did he look good. She'd always loved the way he looked in a tuxedo.
Lee resolutely stared straight ahead watching the couple ahead of them as they exchanged vows. He was determined that he was not going to be caught in the act of staring shamelessly at his bride again. He nodded briefly at the couple as they made their way past them while Amanda congratulated them. He turned just slightly to Amanda and said, "Let's go."
"I can't," she said a hint of nervousness in her voice.
"Why," he said more sternly that he'd intended to. Did she hate the idea of marrying him that much?
"You're on my dress," Amanda replied.
"Oh," He said with a sigh of relief that that was all it was. He linked his arm with hers and they stepped forward walking down the short aisle to the bored-looking minister. Where'd they get this guy, Lee thought as they said their vows, he slipped the gold band on her finger. Then came the moment of truth; the kiss. Why was he so nervous about it? He'd kissed her many times, more than kissed her, so why was this any different? He knew the answer without asking the question. It was their wedding day and even though he knew that it wasn't going to be legal, she didn't. He slowly raised the veil from her face and before he knew what was happening, they were leaning toward each other. He kissed her softly, then again and almost kissed her a third time. He felt sometimes as if he couldn't get enough of her kisses. He smiled when she chuckled nervously and wiped her lipstick from his mouth and he found he couldn't resist kissing the tips of her fingers as she did so. Why was it that he could be so cool and confident when he was making love to her, but any other time he was like a nervous teenager who stumbled over his words around her? He cleared his throat loudly, took her arm in his again and they marched back down the aisle. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the refreshment table and made a break for it, tugging Amanda with him, nodding in acknowledgment of the half-hearted congratulations coming from other couples as they passed by."Here...Um..." he said awkwardly as he released Amanda's arm and reched for two glasses of champagne.
"Oh, yes," Amanda replied. She could definitely use a drink right now. He thoughts were reeling with the events of the day and the idea that she was now Lee's wife. She couldn't get her mind off those two soft kisses after they'd said their vows, or they way that he'd looked at her as if he'd really meant those words. While he'd kissed her before, there was something different this time. Their prior kisses had been fiery, furious, passion-filled kisses. Their kissed to seal their marriage vows were not. He'd never kissed her so tenderly before. It made her wonder what was going to happen when they got back home.
She shifted her bouquet to one hand to take the offered drink, chuckled nervously and said, "It's fake. Heh-heh. Too bad they're not real. It would have been nicer." She wondered if Lee got her true meaning behind that statement. The whole wedding would have been nicer if it were real, if they hadn't been forced to say "I do" just to protect their cover.
Lee shifted for a moment, Amanda's true meaning perfectly clear to him. He wanted to call her out on it, instead he said, "Yeah, well, at least your...uh...18-karat wedding ring is real, huh?"
"Yeah," Amanda said and smiled slightly as she looked down at it, wondering if it had also been his mother's. That thought quickly flew out of her head though as another thought struck her. She quickly explained to Lee what her thought was and before she knew they were back on the case again, the real reason for their wedding.
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As they were walking out of the bullpen after learning that they were never legally married, Amanda was fully prepared to let Lee have it again for withholding yet another piece of information.
"Uh, Amanda, some..." Lee began, not sure what he should say to her. He'd purposely not told her that he'd forged his information to invalidate their marriage because he desperately wanted to know how she'd react to it once they were back in the real world and the honeymoon was over. He'd been disappointed to find that her first thought was to have it annulled. He sighed. He supposed it didn't matter. He wasn't the marrying kind anyway, was he?"
"Yeah?" She replied wondering what he was going to say to justify his keeping secrets from her yet again.
"Some...uh...some strange things happened on that assignment and...um...what I'm really trying to say is that...uh...you know..." he paused for a moment and tried again, "Well, what I'm saying is...whatever happened was..." Amanda, unwilling to give him an inch of wiggle room just nodded and looked at him expectantly, "...well, if was all part of the job."
"I know," She said with another nod. "It was all part of the job." If he could play it that way, so could she. She wasn't about to be the first one to admit what they both knew, that there was more to it and the idea of getting married had stirred something in both of them.
"Yeah, and we were, just...you know...playing our covers," Lee continued, disappointed again that she had agreed with him. He'd been hoping that she'd argue with him. Why wouldn't she acknowledge that the moment they'd shared during their wedding was more than just a cover?
"I know. We were playing our covers," Amanda said, knowing exactly what he was fishing for, but unwilling to give him the satisfaction after making her stew and worry about what would happen when they got home when the whole time, he'd known it wasn't legal.
"Right," Lee said, "And nothing more to it?" The last part came out as more of a question than a statement, Lee once again hoping that she'd disagree with him.
"Nothing more to it," Amanda said with a shake of her head, immensely enjoying his awkwardness.
"So, can I have my ring back?" Lee asked just as Amanda said, "Let me give you your ring." They both chuckled awkwardly as Amanda pulled the ring from her purse and pushed it onto his pinky, both smiling at it for a moment.
"So, I should get going," Amanda said and hurriedly made her escape.
Lee was about to make his way back into the bullpen when Francine stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, pushing him backward to keep him from entering. "Not so fast," she said.
"What?" Lee said impatiently.
"Don't give me the big eyes and the "what" like you're surprised. What exactly did you tell Amanda about your cover assignment?"
"What?"
"Again with the "what." Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I saw the look on Amanda's face when you told her you faked your information. She didn't know, did she?"
"So what?"
"So what? Are you kidding me? You had to go through with the wedding ceremony and you never bothered to tell her that it wasn't real? I'll bet you even used is as an excuse to have your way with her again. I can just see it now, the honeymoon cruise, Amanda getting all swept up in the romance of the wedding and you just lapping it up, taking advantage of the poor, naive little housewife. That's low, even for you."
"Francine, once again, you don't know what you're talking about. I didn't take advantage of anything. I forged my information at the last minute and there just wasn't time to tell her about it because right after the wedding, we were chasing the bad guys, which you would know if you'd read my report."
"So, nothing happened between you and Amanda...after the wedding, I mean."
"No," Lee answered. Not after the wedding, but there was definitely some action the night before, he thought with a smile. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." Lee then pushed past her and made his way to his desk. As he sat down, he couldn't help but notice the ring still on his finger. He slid it off and looked at the engraving that he knew by heart, a pang of sadness gripping him as he thought of his long-dead parents. He then smiled as he thought of how good his mother's ring had looked on Amanda's finger and how much he didn't want her to give it back. He sighed as he thought of the missed opportunity. Maybe someday, he'd give it back to her for real. Stop it, he scolded himself. That would never happen. He shoved the ring into his pocket to get his mind off it and turned his attention to the pile of paperwork that had accumulated on his desk in his absence, burying himself in work to avoid any further thoughts of marriage to Amanda. He was pretty firmly hooked, all right.