Rut - :D
1 Tom's POV
She, she left. A-And I didn't... I couldn't... I didn't know what to do. There was... she kept things running. She made sure I did things right. Without her I didn't know... I couldn't do... what was I supposed to do?
Buzz hadn't stopped crying, and I didn't know what to do. I hadn't been able to calm him down, I didn't know how. I had tried, but it hadn't worked. She'd been so angry at me for it, had screamed louder than he had. Said some cruel things, cruel, true things. Things that I was proving more so now.
"Tom? Tom what happened? Are you okay?" Danny knelt down in front of me. Why was he here? I hadn't called him. Hadn't called anyone. She certainly hadn't either. She didn't like my band mates, and really didn't like them coming round so often.
"I, I'm sorry, I don't. She, she left and I don't know what to do." I couldn't do this, not without her. I couldn't do anything. She kept me on track, made sure I was doing things right. Without her I forgot and did so many things wrong. I couldn't do this by myself. I couldn't do anything by myself.
"She left? What do you mean she left?" Harry asked, also kneeling. Buzz was crying, clinging to Danny. I had made him cry, and didn't stop him, didn't calm him down. I was already failing him oh God I was already failing him. I didn't want to fail him, had never wanted to fail him like this, not so often, and definitely not like this. He only had me, I had to be better but I couldn't be better I didn't know how to be better!
"She, she left, b-because..." because of me, I couldn't admit to it though. Didn't want everyone to know how much of a failure I was. I didn't want them to leave me too. Didn't want Buzz taken from me either. I needed, I needed them, I needed them all. I had nothing, I was nothing without them. I couldn't do anything without them all, I couldn't do anything with them either but I really couldn't do anything without them.
"Alright, we can talk about this later. Right now, are either of you hurt?" Danny asked, I shook my head. We weren't hurt. Buzz hadn't hurt himself. That I was sure of. He had always been in the room with me. He hadn't left. I knew he hadn't left. He wasn't hurt. I didn't know what he was but he wasn't hurt. But he was screaming, screaming so much. Screaming and crying and wasn't stopping and I didn't know how to make him stop! I never could but now I really couldn't and he wasn't stopping, why wasn't he stopping?!
"Okay, okay, that's good." Danny nodded with me, "When was the last time you two ate? We'll eat and you'll feel a lot better." He pulled me up; I wobbled on my feet, nausea taking over. The room span.
"Whoa there Tom, seriously when was the last time you ate? Or slept for that matter?" Harry pulled me into his arms, keeping me upright. Everyone crowded in closely, even Buzz. He was still crying, crying so hard. He was so distressed, I couldn't stop him!
"I, I don't know." I didn't know anything. I didn't know how long it had been, or what had happened. I'd just... we had argued, and she had been so angry, and she'd left. She'd left and hadn't come back.
I couldn't remember anything else. We'd been alone, and Buzz hadn't stopped crying and I didn't know what to do. I never knew what to do! He hadn't stopped for days, I'd tried and tried, but he couldn't stop. He never stopped crying!
"Try to remember Tom, it's important." Harry encouraged me, as Danny managed to calm Buzz enough for him to stop crying so much.
"I, I can't." my head was spinning, the whole world was spinning. Nothing made sense. Everything was blurring, I couldn't concentrate, couldn't remember. I was... I couldn't keep my eyes open.
"Whoa, no, no Tom don't pass out! Don't pass out of us!" I heard from someone, but I couldn't stay awake. Everything was spinning too hard, I felt too sick. Nothing made sense, and the darkness was so inviting.
The last thing I remembered was feeling hands grab for me as I fell towards the floor.