Sharon looked up when she heard the light knock on the door. The hospital staff, Andy, Rusty, and Provenza just walked into her room, maybe knocking as they entered, maybe; she hadn't been expecting anyone else, but when her eyes locked with those at the door, she broke into a warm smile.
"Amy, come in," she gestured with her hand and shifted to sit up in bed. It was evening, the end of the work day now, and Sharon was finally starting to feel somewhat normal. She'd been awake now for several days and really wanted to go home. She'd had every test imaginable and had been participating in physical therapy each day for her walking and for her shoulder. The walking was coming along, slowly, but surely; however, her shoulder was another issue. It would be quite some time before it would be anything normal.
"Captain, I hope I'm not bothering you," Amy gave her a flat, small smile as she gingerly stepped into the room. Sharon waved her in with her good hand, similar to how she'd waved Amy into her office many, many times.
"Not at all," she smiled again at Amy, shifting to get more comfortable. She glanced down at her pajama set, a new one Emily had sent her, and she looked back at Amy. "It's good to see you."
Amy closed the door and moved inside the room, putting her suit jacket and bag on the chair by the door. She moved over to the chair next to Sharon's bed and nodded to it to sit. She was wearing black dress pants and a simple white top and had a bag in her hand as she sat. Sharon gave a very slightly nod, and Amy sat down.
"I thought tonight might be a good time to visit," Amy explained. "I know the lieutenant has his meeting this evening, and I heard Lieutenant Provenza talking to him about getting a bite to eat as well," she looked to Sharon and gave a soft smile. "Lieutenant Provenza probably won't admit it, but he's doing a good job looking after Lieutenant Flynn, Captain."
"I'm glad to hear that, and yes, it is very good to see you," Sharon said again.
"Lieutenant Flynn said your physical therapy sessions are wearing you out, so if it's too tiring for me to be here-" Amy gestured to the door.
"No, stay, please," Sharon said. "Yes, I'm tired, but I've been resting this evening too. I need to get stronger so I'll be able to get out of here soon."
"Are they going to let you go home soon?" Amy asked.
"I hope," Sharon sighed. "I've been awake now for several days. I think they want me steady on my feet, especially with my shoulder here," she gestured to the area. "They have run every test imaginable on me, and I think things are looking okay from what I've been told. I'm just so ready to get home, back to my life, my own bed, my family, all of it."
Amy shook her head as she raised an eyebrow, "I can only imagine Captain. The ordeal you have been through, well," she sighed again, "it's really unbelievable and truly remarkable that you are now on the road to recovery."
"Yes," Sharon let out a deep breath. "I know I've been in a coma for a month, but to me, it doesn't feel like that. It hits me when I talk to my kids. I was on the phone with my daughter, Emily, earlier today, and it's times like that I realize it's been awhile to everyone. Nicole's boys look like they have grown several inches," Sharon smiled brightly. "I finally saw them yesterday."
Amy's smile brightened, "The lieutenant said his grandsons were able to see you. I know you are close to them too."
"Yes," Sharon gestured to the table by her bed where there were two large homemade cards. "Grandma Sharon," she chuckled again and ran her hand over the one card. "They made these cards for me, and I'm told more are coming."
Amy looked at the cards, smiling brightly at them, "I'm happy for all of you, Captain. The cards are sweet."
Sharon nodded and cleared her throat, "So tell me what has been going on with you," Sharon stated.
"Oh, well, before that, I brought you something," Amy said as she pulled the bag onto her lap. "I know the lieutenant and Rusty have been taking good care of you, but I thought you could use a few pampering items. I know you have good taste, and I remembered seeing a couple of different brands of your favorite lotions around your office, so I brought you this." Amy pulled out a basket she'd put together of pampering items- lotions, nail polish, a hairbrush, shower soap-and with that, she'd put a few different magazines in the basket. "I hope this is okay."
"Amy," Sharon smiled brightly at her, "this is lovely, truly lovely. Thank you. I love the flowers you sent the other day," she nodded to one of the bouquets across the room. "They really are beautiful, all the purple and yellows in the bouquet. This is very kind of you. Thank you, and yes, you're right; Andy has done a wonderful job bringing me things from home I need, but it is so refreshing to get this. I'll use all of it right away. My daughter, Emily, sent these new pajamas to me," she gestured to them. "She was so happy that I was finally awake, she went out and bought them, shipping them overnight to Andy," Sharon chuckled. "Yes, there's something about women understanding other women," she grinned again.
"Emily has good taste," Amy told her. "Those are lovely and look comfortable. As for work, well, I can tell you the lieutenant finally seems to be relaxing now that you are getting better. It's been a rough month, Captain, and I know you even heard about his heart attack. We've all been doing our best to help and keep him busy. He's been buried in paperwork now for weeks," she chuckled. "I think he's finally happy to do it."
"Right, only because he knows he's helping me, getting all that paperwork done and doesn't have to worry that I'll survive," she sighed.
"I wish you could see the two of them at work," Amy smiled. "The two of them," she shook her head. "I keep thinking that you and Patrice are saints, putting up with them. You must really love the lieutenant to put up with everything he and Lieutenant Provenza dish out to each other."
"I do," Sharon gave her a warm smile. "I try not to show it at work, and if you feel there is anything inappropriate, I hope you will tell me."
"Oh, no, not at all!" Amy exclaimed as she shook her head. "That's not what I was saying at all. I meant it in a good way. No, if anything, you do a very good job of trying to keep work separate from your home life, even if your home life sometimes is pulled into work. I mean, that doesn't mean we haven't all seen the looks, the flirting, and all, but there's no sense with the team of favoritism or anything. You do a good job, and that's actually part of what I wanted to discuss."
"Oh?" Sharon asked, intrigued now. "What would you like to discuss?"
"As I said, if you are too tired, this can wait," Amy gestured to the door.
"Nonsense," Sharon smiled. "I've been stuck here in this bed, this room for quite some time. I'm happy to talk about anything."
"Well, this is a bit of work mixed with personal," Amy said. "Captain, I've always seen you as a role model. I hope you know that. I am proud to have you as my boss and know you have really paved the way for women in the department. It's really amazing to think about where things were when you were starting compared to where they are now. Your career is really inspiring to me."
Amy paused and when she did, Sharon ran her hands down her own leg to almost smooth out her silk pajama pants, "Amy, you don't need to butter me up, but thank you," she gave her a soft smile.
"Sorry," Amy shook her head. "I wanted you to know where my head is. My question or questions, really, are about your career, your career and how it mixed with your personal life. You seem to have it all, Captain. You have a family, a man you love, a job you are good at and love, and I wanted to know how do you balance it all?"
"Amy," Sharon chuckled, "I'm flattered you think I have it all, this perfect life, but it is far from it. My life, until recently, really, has been a total mess. There have been days, months, years really, I wondered where I went wrong and failed so badly. My kids grew up without their father. I was married to a deadbeat who cheated on me, stole money, and took off for months at a time. None of that is a secret. I know rumors have spread throughout the department. If anything, I've felt like I was weak for not getting rid of him sooner. Even when you started in Major Crimes, I was anything put in a perfect or good situation. I was still married to Jack, even if legally separated, had kids who were dealing with commitment issues in their own dating relationships, and I was still irritated about being pulled from a job I loved and being put into Major Crimes. Now," she nodded to her, "Major Crimes has been the best thing that has happened to me in my career. I see that now. It opened doors in every area of my life. I met Rusty because of Major Crimes. I would have only heard about him otherwise. Andy," she smiled brightly when she mentioned his name, "Andy became the friend, the confidant, I didn't know I could ever have. He stood patiently by my side for years, just being a friend before we were anything more. Now, yes," she nodded, "I can see how it looks like I have this perfect life, but it's not at all."
"I know; I know," Amy nodded. "I guess I realize that everyone has baggage. You've just made it work, and whatever the circumstances, you have had a great career while you still have a family. Chuck," she paused and pursed her lips, "Cooper and I live together, as I've disclosed to you. I've kept my life very quiet, maybe too quiet at times around the team, but I haven't shared much, if anything, about him with the team. I've keep my life private, maybe too private. I'm not sure," she shook her head. "Anyway, lately, he and I have been talking. He wants more, everything, really," she threw up her hand. "He wants to get married. He wants a family, kids," she sighed. "I'm just not sure what I feel about it all, and I trust your advice; I value it."
"Well," Sharon pursed her lips, "I'm not sure I can tell you want to do. That has to be your decision, but I can vouch for the team. While we do have work to do, we are a close group, friends," she added. "We have a different relationship than most people who just work together. We all spend so much time together. You know we are like a family, and knowing that, I hope you know you can always talk to the team about your own life if you need to do so. I think about everyone on the team-Provenza, we know about his life and things with Patrice. We've met several of his ex-wives," Sharon chuckled. "Lieutenant Tao, he speaks of his wife and kids often. Buzz talks about his sister. Julio," she nodded and sighed, "he's had a tough life too, but even he opened up about losing his wife and child. Mark has come into his life, and Julio is finally finding a love he needed with that. Of course," she grinned again, "Andy has made no secret about his feelings for me for years," she rolled her eyes. "As much as I try to keep things private, Rusty bursts into work with our home life issues all the time, as does Jack," she said with a drawn out tone. Amy chuckled. "I'm also realizing that life is short, a quick instant, really, and I don't want to come across as cold either when someone I love works right outside my door. I don't want to be inappropriate, but even I realize now that sometimes, it's okay to soften at work, to show that I care about Andy-all still while being professional. We have a unique situation, and I know that you sometimes work with Lieutenant Cooper. I can't tell you what to do, but. I will suggest you trust yourself. Aside from that, my best advice would be to talk it out with him. You need to be on the same page. I know we've not been some type of girlfriends who go out for drinks or shopping," Sharon smiled softly at her, "but I consider you a dear friend. Even in my dreams, you were in my wedding party."
Amy chuckled as Sharon paused. She nodded, "The lieutenant said you had some crazy dreams that included you two being married."
"I did," Sharon nodded. "Things are clearing up for me, but still, it's almost hard to sort fact from fiction at times. I consider you more than a subordinate, Amy. You are a true friend. You are part of my life, my family's life. You taught Rusty defensive driving. You've looked out for him for years, and you just mentioned looking out for Andy at work. Thank you for all of that."
Amy nodded, "I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a mom. I've always wanted to focus on my career. I know Chuck wants kids, but my life," she shook her head. "I'm happy with it."
"Not everyone has to have a career and family," Sharon pointed out to her. "I chose the LAPD because Jack and I needed the income. It was supposed to be temporary, but I did want kids. To start, I viewed it as choosing kids over my career. I wanted to be a lawyer, but kids came into the picture, and I decided that was okay. I wanted a family over the job, at least I thought," she smiled. "I didn't realize the LAPD was the job for me, that it was a job I could do with kids. Now, Major Crimes is its own entity. It's not the same as FID, so I can't tell you what you should do. FID worked for me, BUT," she said sternly, "I was a single mom most of the time. You would have Chuck. I see how different things are with Andy. He's around. Yes, we work the same hours, but it's refreshing to have someone who shares the responsibility, who cooks dinner sometimes, who pays the bills, who contributes."
Amy nodded, " I know you two recently moved in together, and I hope I'm not overstepping, but do you think that's had a negative impact on your career, you know, with so many in the department knowing?"
"I'm at the point in my life now, I don't care," Sharon explained. "I can see how you would be concerned for your own career, but you two do not work in the same division. Many cops are married to other cops, involved with other cops. My situation is a bit different almost delicate, because we do work so closely together, but I feel my reputation stands alone. I am fair, and what I have with Andy does not worry me with the department. Like you, I followed protocol and notified Chief Taylor," she paused when she said it, actually tearing up. She took in her breath, "Sorry," she shook her head. "It just hits me at odd times, that he's gone."
"I understand, Captain," Amy nodded. "As frustrating as he was, none of us can believe he's gone."
"Anyway," Sharon reached over and squeezed Amy's hand as she shook the tears, "my point is don't wait on life. Don't wait for your career to be perfect. There is no such thing. You'll always want to wait on a promotion, a different job. I was promised to be a commander when I took this job," she sighed. "Don't wait on a family if you want one, but don't let work or family dictate the other. Talk to Chuck. When Andy and I finally started dating, we talked. We talked a lot, and that's what really calmed me. Andy," she chuckled, "was all in right away, but I was there, knowing how I felt about him, but still a bit nervous about work. I finally got over that and am at the point now I just don't care what people say or think."
Amy listened and nodded, "I see what you are saying. I do. You're right, though, that you've not really talked much about dating Lieutenant Flynn or the decision to do that. We just always saw you two together, not even sure when the lines crossed from friendship to more. You have done a good job hiding those specific details. I guess I'm almost nervous about what might come of our talk, of working through this with Chuck."
"You won't know until you talk," Sharon slightly shrugged with her good shoulder. "If someone would have told me a few years ago that I would take in a homeless teenager, fall in love with Andy Flynn, and have a blended family with him," she grinned at the thought, "I would have told them they were crazy. Yet, life is full of surprises," she nodded.
"It is," Amy said simply.
"It's also short, Amy," Sharon reached for her hand, meeting her gaze. "I know that; you know that. Don't wait too long to live your life. It will end up passing you by."
"Thanks," she nodded. "I appreciate it, Captain."
"Of course," she nodded. "Thank you for talking about anything else other than health issues."
"Glad to be of service," Amy grinned. "Now, if you are still up for it, I can tell you a few funny work stories."
"Oh, Amy," Sharon laughed. "I can't wait to hear what my crazy team has been doing."