Chapter 34-Bogged Down in Hurt Feelings

"Spiderweb"

Lee sat at the table at Chez Tayir getting more restless by the minute as they waited for the Romanian defector to arrive. His agitation was only made worse at seeing Amanda walk in the door...with another man. "Amanda," He said startled.

"What's she doing here?" Billy asked Lee accusingly. "You tell her anything about Spiderweb?" He'd known for a while that there was more to Lee and Amanda's personal relationship than either was letting on and was now concerned that Lee had let his normal cool professionalism lapse. He knew when putting them together, that Amanda would most likely be the only one who could break through Lee's icy exterior. He just hoped for the sake of national security that it hadn't been too much.

"Of course not," Lee answered. It's gotta' be a coincidence."He turned his attention back to Amanda and her date. Who was this guy and why was she with another guy at all? He'd thought after their near-marriage last week that would have sewn things up for them. "Who's the stiff?"

"I would hardly call Bryce Topping a stiff," Francine scoffed, amusement dancing her eyes at Lee's little flare of jealousy.

"Who the hell is Bryce Topping?" Lee spat out, glancing briefly at Francine before turning his attention back to Amanda.

"Well, you would know if you ever read the society pages, He's a regular, old money, brilliant law career..." She couldn't resist getting a little dig in at Lee for his infatuation with Amanda as she added, "...and obviously pretty kinky."

Once again startled, Lee turned back to Francine and said, "What?"

"Well, come on, Lee, A suburban housewife?" She said with a grin directed at his indiscretions with Amanda.

Lee glared at her for a moment, ignored her jibe and attempted to hide his face as Amanda neared their table with her date.

Amanda was chatting with her date, saying, "I think it's wonderful that you could get a table without even a reservation," but then halted abruptly, startled by coming face to face with the man who occupied so many of her thoughts, not to mention her dreams. She knew she'd given herself away as the look of guilt that crossed her face when she saw him there said it all. As Lee quickly pointed to indicate that she should go on about her evening and follow the host. She turned to her date, smiled and awkwardly said, "Yes," as they were shown to their table. She'd had a pleasant enough evening, but now her thoughts were no longer on her date.

Since Billy and Francine were with Lee, they were no doubt on a case, one that her low-level clearance didn't give her access to. Now, not only was she feeling guilty about being on a date, but she was also worried and feeling a little guilty that her presence there may jeopardize some top-secret mission. She found that she could no longer focus on the man in front of her as the man she really wanted kept shooting daggers at her with his eyes in between glances toward the door as if he were looking for someone. "Listen, maybe coffee wasn't such a good idea," She said to her date. As the conversation became more awkward, her guilt became more pronounced. Why was it that the looks Lee was shooting her made her feel as if she were somehow cheating on him by going on a simple movie date? Having finally convinced Bryce to leave, they made their way to the door when all hell broke loose.

When she returned home, Amanda shifted nervously at Bryce's insistence on walking her to her door and seeing her safely into the house. While she thought it was chivalrous of him to want to ensure her safety after the events of the evening, she knew their goodnight would be just as awkward as the drive home had been. He'd been so shaken by the evening's turn of events that he had wanted to talk about nothing else while she hedged when he asked her opinion about it, not wanting to reveal that she knew who Lee and the others were, particularly, her involvement with Lee.

When they reached her door, he reached to place his arms on her shoulders, a gesture so reminiscent of Lee's when he was concerned for her safety that she shifted uncomfortably. "You've been awfully quiet about what happened tonight," he said in concern. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Oh, yes," She said then began to babble nervously. "I mean, it was...you know...unexpected and I...uh...I can't imagine what on earth was going on that that man would just open fire like that in a public place. I mean, I don't know what he could have been thinking. So many people could have been hurt or killed...and that man at the door, he was killed and..."

"I'm just glad that you weren't hurt," her date said warmly with a smile at her, leaning in closer.

Oh no, here it comes, she thought. This was the moment she'd been dreading since they'd walked into the restaurant and she'd felt that familiar flutter at seeing Lee there. She turned her head at the last second, Bryce's attempt at a good-might kiss landing on her cheek instead of his intended target. "I...um...I'm sorry," she stammered. "I...um...I'm just...you know...a little upset...you know...by what happened tonight."

"I understand. This wasn't exactly what I had planned for a first date," he said. "So...um...I...um...I guess I'll call you," he added hopefully.

"Um...okay, good-night," She said, then as an afterthought as he began to walk away, added, "I...I...um...I had a nice time tonight...You know, until..."

"Yeah," He replied, "Good-night."

Amanda sighed as her date left and she made her way into the house to face the interrogation she knew was coming from her mother. Sure, enough, she hadn't even finished removing her coat when her mother was on her like bees on honey, "How was your date?" Dotty inquired hopefully.

"Fine," Amanda answered with a noncommittal shrug as she hung her coat up.

"Fine?" Dotty questioned the disappointment evident in her voice. "That's it? That doesn't sound very promising..."

"Mother, it was just a first date and to the movies," Amanda said. "That's it."

Dotty continued as if Amanda hadn't spoken, "I mean, Bryce Topping is quite the catch and the two of you have something in common. You're both single parents. You met at the PTA, after all. I know it may not be as exciting as your on-again-off-again romance with this Lee fellow, but at least he has the courtesy to pick you up at the door and take you out on a proper date."

Amanda sighed and said, "Mother, what were you expecting, that Bryce would sweep me off my feet and we'd start making wedding plans, like in some grand fairy tale?"

"There are worse things that could happen, you know. What's wrong with the idea of getting married again? Lord knows you could use some stability in your life and so could your children," Dotty said.

"The boys have stability in their lives," Amanda said. "You know that no matter what, I always put them first."

"I know, my darling, and you're a wonderful mother, but don't you think that it's time they had a real father-figure in their lives instead of you trying to be both mother and father to them?"

"They have a father, Mother," Amanda said as she stepped up to the staircase landing in an attempt to get away from her mother's incessant questioning.

"Not so you'd notice," Dotty said sarcastically as she followed her daughter up the stairs. "Don't get me wrong, Joe is a wonderful father to them when he's around, but how often is that? And he never was there for you as a husband should be. If you recall, that's why you two divorced in the first place."

"Yes, Mother, I'm aware of all the reasons that Joe and I split up," she said as she stepped into her bedroom and violently kicked off her heels into her closet. "I was there, but I don't see why that should mean that every date that I go on has to have the potential to lead to marriage in your eyes. Sometimes a date is just that, a date. I don't even know if I'm going to see Bryce again."

"It's this Lee, isn't it?" Dotty said folding her arms across her chest as she leaned against the doorframe of her daughter's room.

"Mother, no," Amanda denied, but she knew it was a lie. It didn't matter that Bryce was a successful attorney who'd be a catch to any woman who managed to land him, or that he was a very nice man with whom she did have a lot in common. He wasn't Lee Stetson. Even though he'd acted heroically in shielding both her and Francine from the flying bullets tonight, she just couldn't get excited about him the way she did Lee. Just a look from Lee tonight had set her on fire when Bryce's attempt to kiss her had only left her cold.

"I think it is," Dotty said, "Just like I said when you were dating that art dealer, Alan what's-his-name or that David...um..."

"Benson," Amanda supplied.

"Right," Dotty said. "Whatever happened to him? He was a charming man and you only had one date with him. Or Alan for that matter?"

"It just didn't work out," Amanda answered evasively, not about to share with her mother that both of them were now in a federal prison and that David Benson had been a spy turned traitor who had tried to kill the man she truly loved.

"Obviously, it didn't work out," Dotty said. "The question is why didn't it work out?" Without giving Amanda a chance to answer, she continued. "I'll tell you why it didn't work out with either of them and why it won't work out with Bryce either. You can't get your mind off of this burning, passionate love affair you've been having with Lee, a man whose last name you won't even tell me, a man I've never met, who's never called you to ask you on a date properly or come to the front door like a normal boyfriend."

"That's because he's not my boyfriend," Amanda protested.

"Well, have you ever asked him why? Haven't you ever questioned what his intentions are regarding your relationship? I mean, Amanda, this...this thing between you has been going on for a year and a half now and I have yet to hear any talk of your future with him. Have the two of you even discussed marriage?"

"Mother," Amanda said with a roll of her eyes as she moved to her dresser to remove her jewelry, but cringed slightly at the thought of their near-marriage just a week ago. Yes, they'd discussed marriage, but only as it pertained to their cover. She wondered what would happen if they'd ever have an open, honest conversation about it or the fact that for a few short days, he'd entrusted his mother's engagement ring to her, which was a blatant contradiction as he'd made it clear he wasn't ready to entrust her with his heart. "Look, Mother, I'm really very tired, so if you don't mind, I'd like to get to bed."

"Of course, Darling," Dotty said giving her daughter a quick kiss on the cheek before exiting the room.

After her mother's departure, Amanda quickly closed the door behind her and began to get undressed for bed, reaching into her closet for a hanger for her dress. As she did so, her mind kept drifting back to the wedding of a week ago. Shoving aside the numerous hangers, she stepped fully into her closet and gazed longingly at the wedding dress that she'd hidden there behind all of her normal clothing. She knew she needed to do something with it before her mother found it and began asking even more questions, but she just couldn't bring herself to part with it. That day had set her emotions on a roller coaster ride with the way that Lee had kissed her so tenderly, the look he'd given her when he'd slipped the wedding ring on her finger, they way that he'd kissed the tips of her fingers when she'd wiped her lipstick from his mouth, how his gaze had lingered on hers for just a moment before the spell had been broken.

Amanda sighed once again as she moved to hide the offending garment again before returning to her dresser to extract her cotton nightgown and pull it over her head. As she turned out the light and climbed into her bed, her thoughts were assailed by their encounter in her bathroom of two weeks ago, and how he'd wanted to move it to the bedroom. She wondered now what things would be like between them if she'd let him in enough to invite him into her bed. Would that have changed the events that followed when they'd been forced to go through with the wedding ceremony? She reached for the empty pillow beside her, clutching it to her tightly, imagining what it would be like to have Lee beside her as she attempted to sleep. She decided then and there that if Bryce was true to his word and called her, there would definitely not be a second date.

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Two days later, after being ordered to search Amanda's house and peppering her with questions to get to the bottom of things and to try to prove to Mitch Larner that the woman he loved was not a traitor, he couldn't resist asking just one more question. "What were you and that polo player doing at the Chez Tayir the other night and where the hell did you meet him anyw-?"

"If you're talking about Bryce Topping... Amanda said interrupting him.

"Yes, Bryce Topping," Lee said sarcastically, the edge in his voice sounding harsh and a little childish, even to him, but he had to know, especially since Amanda had told him that she and Bryce had both been upset about the incident at the restaurant. To make matters worse, she'd said that she'd been awake all night, making him wonder just what she'd been doing to keep her awake all night. It didn't make sense to him. Once minute, she was talking about her date and the next; she'd been telling him how glad she was that he hadn't been hurt. Was she purposely trying to keep him confounded?

"Lee, Bryce has a little boy in Jamie's class. I met him at the PTA. He asked me to go to the movies, I said yes," Amanda explained, but smiled slightly at Lee's obvious display of jealousy. The look on his face once again made her feel as if she'd been unfaithful to him and made her feel the strong need to defend her actions.

As their conversation continued, more of the pieces began to come together for Lee as he realized what an elaborate setup had been orchestrated against Amanda. He explained to her what had been going one and the saddened look on her face made him feel incredibly guilty for following orders. "Look, let's not get bogged down in hurt feelings," he said, though he knew he didn't have any room to talk as his feelings had been hurt by seeing Amanda out on a date. What the hell was she thinking? Didn't she know by now that he was nuts about her? He sighed. He knew it was his own damn fault because while he was crazy in love with her, he didn't quite have the courage to tell her. That would open him up to getting his heart broken again or potentially losing her as he had Dorothy due to the danger of their work. He couldn't seem to talk her out of continuing her work with the agency, which on one hand made him happy because he still got to see her, but on the other hand, terrified him to no end at the idea of her getting hurt in the line of duty.

"It's all right," Amanda said with more pep than she felt. "My feelings are not hurt." In truth, her feelings were hurt, not just by this incident, but by the callous way he'd tried to blow off what had happened between them during their wedding ceremony, that that tender, loving kisses they'd shared had seemingly meant nothing to him. The hurt this had caused her is what had led her to accepting the date with Bryce in the first place and now he was acting as if she had no right to accept a date with another man, even though he clearly wasn't ready to openly date her. If he'd only give her some sign that he wanted her for more than their incredible sex life, she'd have never even thought of going out with anyone else. She thought about her conversation with her mother in the car of just mere minutes ago when she was once again pumping her for information about her love life and her comment to her, "Sometimes I care and sometimes I don't." The truth was that after the first date, she knew there was no future with Bryce. She just couldn't quite bring herself to tell her mother that, knowing that she'd just bring up Lee again and that, in her mind, was a taboo subject. How could she explain her relationship with Lee to her mother when she couldn't even explain it to herself?

As they continued to talk and he explained the elaborate setup against her, Lee couldn't help but wonder if they weren't able to clear her name, what would happen to her. She'd be put away for treason and the only way that he'd see her is through a glass partition. After mentioning that if they could figure out who was setting her up, they'd have their double agent and seeing that she still looked worried, he couldn't help wanting to comfort her. He took her hands in his and said, "Hey, it's gonna' be okay. We'll figure this out."

"I know," Amanda replied. "I'm just...you know...a little scared."

"I know you are," Lee said as he raised one hand to caress her face, "but you have to have a little faith that everything is going to work out. We will figure this out and clear you name. I'm not gonna' let them put you away for something you didn't do."

"Thank you," Amanda said warmly with a shy smile, the warmth of his hand in hers and his other on her face not only comforting, but strangely alluring. It still confounded her that such a simple touch from him could stir so much in her. She didn't know what possessed her, but she raised her own hand to his on her face, brought it to her lips and kissed his palm.

Lee looked at her in surprise at the tenderness of that gesture and closed the gap between them, sliding his hand to the back of her neck and capturing her lips with his own, the comforting gesture now the furthest thing from his mind as her fervent response to him fueled the desire for her that he had been trying so hard to keep a lid on. The hand he had linked with hers soon found its way to her waist as his other tugged on the back of her head while he leaned against her to deepen their kiss, groaning at the sensations it created in him.

Amanda opened her mouth to Lee and slipped one hand around his neck as she felt his tongue probing her mouth, once again making her feel as if she were the only woman in the world, the burning desire she had for him only increasing as he moved closer to her. With her free hand, she began to tug at his tie to loosen it, needing to feel more of him. The fire Lee created in her burned out the memory of her lukewarm date with Bryce. How could she ever have thought that any other man could make her feel this way? She gasped as Lee's lips moved from her mouth to the tender pulse point on her neck. When he pulled back for a moment, the look in his eyes was one of questioning as if asking for permission to continue. She answered him by dropping his now-loosened tie to the floor and pushing his jacket from his shoulders before starting to work on the buttons of his shirt, planting soft, warm kisses to each patch of skin she exposed.

"Oh," Lee sighed at the warmth of Amanda's lips on his skin, her nimble fingers undressing him. How had he ever gotten by before meeting her? How could he ever have believed that his casual encounters of the past were enough to sustain him? "Amanda," he growled low as she roughly yanked his shirt from his pants. He unfastened the buttons at his sleeves to allow her to drop his shirt to the floor with his jacket and tie before she returned her hands to his bare chest. He then turned his attention to the buttons on her blouse, working them loose one by one. His eyes widened in surprised as he saw she wasn't wearing her normal bra beneath it, but instead wore a frilly satin and lace camisole. "I like this," he said in a low voice as he fingered one of the delicate straps.

"Yeah?" she said.

"Mm-hmm," he replied as he lowered his lips to her neck nipping at the tender pulse point there. "Very sexy," he murmured against her skin. He then raised his head, grinned at her and said, "Still not a sexy nightgown though. I swear one of these days I'm going to burn those cotton granny gowns you seem to favor."

"Don't you dare," she protested slapping at him playfully. "I do have children in the house, remember?"

"Oh, is that why you wear those?"

"Yes," Amanda said. "I can't exactly run around the house in a negligee with two impressionable young boys in the house, now can I?"

"You never know," Lee countered with an impish grin. "They might learn something from the experience."

Amanda gave him a stern look and said, "There are some things I'd rather they not learn just yet."

"Like how incredibly sexy their mother is?" Lee suggested lowering his tone again as he slid his hands back to her waist. He lowered his lips to her neck again and whispered, "Or how this gets her very excited."

"Mmm," Amanda sighed as she felt Lee's lips on her skin, his hands tugging at her camisole. She raised her arms to allow him to remove it then reached for his belt while she toed off her shoes and he worked on the button of her pants. She raised herself from her perch on the arm of the couch to allow him to slide them and her panties down her legs.

Lee stood for a moment, gazed at her appreciatively and said in a hoarse whisper, "My God, you're beautiful.

Amanda flushed under his intense scrutiny and replied with a nod at his half-open pants, "And you're overdressed."

"I can take care of that," he said as he toed off his shoes and dropped his pants and underwear. He then fixed her with a steely gaze and said, "Better?"

"Much," Amanda answered we a smile as she stared at his nearly perfect nude form in front of her. She then resumed her earlier exploration of his body, trailing her hands from his shoulders, down his chest following her hands with her mouth trailing kisses down his torso.

"OH," Lee groaned as Amanda took one nipple between her teeth while she clasped his manhood with her hand. "God, you make me crazy." Amanda giggled at his comment, her excitement only building at his words. She worked her mouth downward until she felt Lee grasping her wrists and pushing her back to her original spot on the arm of the couch. "No, not this time," he said as he parted her legs and dropped to his knees in front of her.

"Lee," she hissed as Lee began to explore her with his mouth, nipping and licking at her most tender flesh. "Oh, Lee," she cried out at pleasure he was giving her. Just as she was about to reach her peak, he stopped rose to his feet, grasped her hips and pushed into her, causing her to cry out.

"Amanda," he growled at the feeling of being immersed in her again. He captured her lips in a searing kiss as he slid one hand between them to stroke her and began to move in and out of her.

"Ohhhh," Amanda moaned, gripping the back of the couch tightly as her climax overtook her.

"Yes, Amanda," Lee groaned against her relishing the feeling of her tightening around him. He increased the pace; desperately needing the release that he'd been craving since seeing her on a date. "Ohhhh," he growled as he emptied himself into her as they trembled in each other's arms. He kissed her again as the rode out the wave together. When he could breathe normally again, he pulled himself from her causing her to whimper slightly he said, "I'm sorry, Amanda." He turned from her and began to pull on his clothes as quickly as he could.

"What are you sorry for?" Amanda said her feelings now definitely hurt as she reached for her own discarded clothing. Was he already regretting their time together?

"I...um...I came here to search your house and I...um...I ended up just taking advantage of you. God, you must hate me."

"No, Lee, I don't hate you. I know that you were just doing what you were told to do." She reached for him, placing a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. "Besides that, you didn't hear me protesting, did you? If I didn't want this, I would have said so. I think you should know me well enough by now to know that."

"Yeah, I guess," Lee said. "Why did you come back anyway?"

"Oh my gosh! Mother!"Amanda exclaimed as the realization hit her. "She's at the grocery store waiting for me. I forgot my checkbook and I came back home to get it." Amanda quickly finished dressing. "I have to go." She reached for her purse where she'd dropped during Lee's questioning of her.

"Now, wait a minute. We need to figure this out. I'm going to need to come with me to explain all of this to Billy just like you did to me. You're gonna' be in a lot of trouble if you don't."

"I understand that, Lee, but I can't leave her hanging. She's waiting for me."

"Yeah, okay, I'll follow you to the store then and you can leave your car for your mother, but we have to get this resolved as quickly as possible. I...I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you because of this."

"All right," Amanda conceded feeling once again torn between her job and her family. How did things get so complicated?

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As they stood at the coffee station in the bullpen two days later, Lee beamed with pride at Amanda's willingness to go along with his plan and even pretending to be arrested before they'd dropped the net on Margaret Brock. She was turning out to be an invaluable asset to the agency, though he'd never tell her that. He couldn't help smiling as Mitch Larner apologized to her and even complimented her on her work. His smile soon faded when Amanda began asking about the fifty thousand in her bank account. Uh-oh, he thought.

As Mitch Larner and Lee both scurried off, Amanda couldn't help laughing at seeing the panicked looks on both of their faces. "Gotcha'" she said in amusement as she sipped at her coffee. One of these days they'd learn she was more than just a housewife, a lesson she was going to enjoy teaching them all, especially Lee.