'So,' Kirk said, 'when do we get started?'

'Captain,' Spock protested, 'You can't possibly mean…'

'Spock, Spock, we have saved the galaxy hundreds of times, we can destroy one little ring.'

Elrond frowned. 'I only wanted nine members, one for each of the Nazgul, and I wanted them selected from my private council.'

'I don't think that's such a good idea,' Kirk said.

Elrond's eyebrows flew up. How arrogant could this one man be? Kirk had crashed his council and was now taking it over.

'I mean,' Kirk continued, 'Do you think that each member of your fellowship is adequately prepared to fight a Nazgûl?'

'Jim,' McCoy said from just behind him, 'Do you even know what these Nazgûl are?'

'The Nazgûl,' said Erestor quickly, looking up from his how-to-be-a-good-councilor book, 'are nine kings of men corrupted by Sauron who now seek the Ring.'

'Do they also happen to be the black riders who have chased us since we left the Shire?' Frodo inquired.

Aragorn rolled his eyes. 'Yes.'

Spock raised his hand academically from where he was still seated on his captain's lap. 'Why must this ring be destroyed?'

'If we can destroy the Ring, we defeat Sauron, and he won't take over the world,' Gandalf said.

'But in order to do that,' Boromir said, 'we have to pass right through his doorway and into his home. Basically we would be bringing the Ring to him, and hoping he will be stupid enough not to notice us destroy it.'

Spock tilted his head. 'Can't we talk with Sauron? Perhaps there is some peaceful way we can negotiate through this problem?'

Everyone stared at Spock like he was crazy. Spock looked dejected.

'I was just asking,' he said and went back to studying everything.

'So these Nazgûl,' said Chekov, 'who are looking for this ring, where are they now?'

'They got drowned in the river,' Frodo said.

'Oh, good,' said Sulu, 'then we don't have to worry about them.'

'For the time being, yes,' said Gandalf gravely. 'But as long as the ring exists they live. They just have to get new bodies, that's all.'

'Darn,' Sulu said, then always trying to be optimistic, 'At least you're getting a break, right?'

'There are other dangers in the wild.'

Aragorn looked at Kirk, Spock, Scotty, McCoy, Sulu, Uhura, and Chekov.

'Where are you people from?'

'Riverside, Iowa, USA.'

'Shikahr.'

'Edinburgh.'

'San Francisco, California.'

'Kenya, The United States of Africa.'

'Russia.'

'It's strange,' said Aragorn, 'I have traveled quite far but have never heard of any of those lands.'

Kirk smiled. 'That's not surprising. Now can we get back to business? It seems imperative that we destroy this ring.'

Elrond glanced up from his notebook. 'I have already written out a list of members.'

Aragorn tried reading over Elrond's shoulder. 'Am I going?'

'Yes. I put you at the top.'

Aragorn smile-frowned, not knowing whether to feel happy or sad about his foster father's desire to send him on this noble/dangerous quest.

'Hey!' said Frodo suddenly, 'I didn't get to say my dramatic line.'

'What line?' Elrond asked.

'My 'I will take the Ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way' one,' Frodo complained.

'That is a ridiculous line,' said Elrond, 'Why in the world would we give the ring to someone who didn't even know where he was going. No, I think we should give the ring to…Glorfindel.'

Glorfindel looked up from painting his nails 'What? But I thought my role was over… I mean Arwen got the hobbits here…Legolas goes on the quest.'

'Glorfindel, you are the mighty Balrog slayer, surely you would not deny us your prowess on such a quest as this?'

'Um….'

'I will die before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf!' Gimli said suddenly jumping up and glaring at Glorfindel.

'This is what I am was afraid of,' Glorfindel muttered, 'Balrogs don't phaze me, but angry dwarves are scaaaaryyy.'

'You'd better be scared,' said Gimli gleefully.

'Hey, hey,' said Kirk,'what you said to Glorfindel wasn't very nice. In fact, it was down right racist.'

The Elves and Dwarves who were about to leap at each other's throats, now stopped to stare at Kirk like he was utterly mad.

'I will take the Ring,' Frodo said quickly, 'Though I do not know the way.'

But no one was paying attention.

'In the land where we come from,' said Kirk, 'we all live together in peace. It doesn't matter where we are from, or what race…we are all the same inside.'

'Unless you're a Klingon,' Chekov mumbled.

'Or a Romulan,' Uhura put in.

Kirk glared at his honest crew.

'I will take the Ring!' Frodo shouted.

The eyes finally turned to him.

'What did you say?' Legolas asked.

Frodo looked relieved.

'I will take the ring to Mordor,' he said with the proper reluctance, 'though I do not know the way.'

Gandalf gave a heavy sigh.

'I think this task was appointed for you, Frodo.'

'But you won't let him go alone,' said Sam jumping out from a corner, 'I'm coming too, and don't argue, because I am the only one of you who is a half-way decent cook.'

'We're coming too,' Merry and Pippin chorused dashing out from behind pillars.

'And what are you good at?' Elrond asked.

'Eating!' Pippin said, looking over at Sam.

'Don't say that,' Merry said kicking his cousin, 'or they'll never let us on the quest.'

Pippin sulked.

'We are expert adventures,' Merry put in, 'and very good at picking out edible mushrooms.'

'And we can sing,' Pippin added.

'So can I,' said Legolas.

'I can too,' said Elrond, 'but whether you can sing or not is not what is getting you on this quest, now as I was saying earlier I have made out a list of candidates: Aragorn, for the men. Gimli, for the dwarves, Glorfindel, no wait who scratched this out? Well, I must have I wonder why…Legolas, for the Elves, Boromir, because he's going that way anyway. That's how far I got.'

'I am going,' said Frodo.

'Right, that makes—five?'

'I'm coming too,' Sam said.

'Six.' Elrond shook his head despondently. 'I wanted nine.'

'I'll go,' said Gandalf, 'and we'll take Merry and Pippin.'

Elrond blinked. 'Gandalf, are you sure about that?'

'Quite sure.'

'But they are so young, and I have this awful feeling that they are going to be captured by Orcs or something.'

'Oh, don't worry.' The old wizard patted Elrond's arm. 'I'll keep an eye on them.'

'Well, at least, it's nine,' said Elrond putting down his pen.

Kirk sighed then a sly smile crossed his face. When the company left Rivendell, he walked over to Aragorn.

'Hey,' he said in a friendly and open tone, 'we happen to be going the same way, mind if we join up?'

'You'll have to ask Gandalf,' Aragorn said.

Kirk turned to Gandalf, who had been standing near by.

'Well, can we?'

'What business brings you to Mordor?' Gandalf asked suspiciously.

Kirk licked his lip uncertainly, but Sulu broke in, his eyes alight with crazy delight.

'Revenge!' he cried, and whipped out the foil he had been hiding in his boot.

'Revenge?' asked Aragorn.

'Why, yes,' said Sulu. 'Haven't you ever heard of it? It's when someone has done something bad to you, and you get back at them.'

'I know what revenge is, but tell me what wrong has Sauron done you?'

'What wrong! What wrong!' Sulu exclaimed angrily, as he tried to think of something.

'Our village was raided by orcs three years ago,' Chekov said, 'His whole family was killed as was mine. Since then we have followed Orc trails and slain all we could.'

Kirk did not know if liked how convincing Chekov sounded.

Aragorn and Boromir exchanged doubtful looks.

'So,' Boromir said, 'where are your weapons?'

Kirk sighed. The only weapons they had on them were their none-working phasers and Sulu' foil. After all, they were supposed to come in peace.

'We lost them,' Kirk said, 'When we transported here.'

'How were you transported here anyway?' Aragorn asked. 'You just appeared out of no where. You don't happen to have magic rings on you?'

'Seven magic rings?' Legolas said with a toss of his head, 'Why would they have SEVEN magic rings?'

'Seven rings for the dwarf lords in their halls of stone,' Frodo mumbled, 'They were lost, weren't they?'

'We do NOT have magic rings,' said Scotty crossly, 'That was the work of my transporter beam.'

'Transporta what?' asked Boromir.

'Transporter beam,' said Scotty. 'One of the greatest inventions in the galaxy.'

'And one of the scariest,' McCoy added gloomily. 'You get torn apart molecule by molecule then send off through space in pieces and then you get reconstructed on another ship or planet.'

The Fellowship looked at him horror.

'Isn't that rather painful?' Merry asked.

'No, no,' Kirk said, 'you don't feel a thing.'

'It's as if,' Spock said, putting on a philosophical air, 'for a moment in time you do not exist.'

Everyone stared at him, and he looked uncomfortable and went back to scanning the trees. No one knew why Spock's tricorder still worked.

Frodo shuddered. 'How dreadful.'

'I know,' McCoy said, 'and we have to do it every time we go down to a planet or board another starship.'

'Starship?' Pippin said, 'What's that?'

Before Spock could warn Kirk again of the prime directive Kirk had broken into a rant of poetry about the beauty of a ship that sailed through the stars.

'Like Eärendil's ship?' Aragorn said excitedly.

Kirk grinned. 'Sure.'

Aragorn leaned in on Gandalf. 'Hey, do you think the Valar may have sent them?'

'They're more likely spies for the enemy.'

'If they were, wouldn't they be armed and have taken IT by now?'

Gandalf nodded. 'Good point, they are too stupid to be servants of the enemy—they must have been sent by the Valar!'

Kirk smiled.

'We weren't sent by the Valar,' Spock said in Kirk's ear. 'We were sent by the Federation.'

'Spock, Spock, we can't tell them about the Federation, don't you remember the Prime Directive?'

Spock opened his mouth to protest, but Kirk placed his hand on Spock's mouth and whispered low into his ear: 'If they think we were sent by the Valar, then we were sent by the Valar.'

'Jim, that doesn't make sense,' Spock protested, 'just because they think something is true, it doesn't make it true. That is illogical.'

'Spock, this is a primitive land logic doesn't apply here.' Kirk patted Spock on the back.

'What do you know about our Valar?' asked Aragorn, hearing the word Valar but not catching the rest of the conversation. Legolas probably could have heard it but he was too busy chasing butterflies to pay attention.

Kirk's face paled visibly, as Spock turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

'The Walar are the powers that be,' Chekov said, 'They are the guardians of Arda. Manwë is their king, and Warda also called Elbereth is their queen.'

Legolas who had given up chasing the butterfly turned to him. 'You are pretty well learned for a mortal.'

'It is nothing,' said Chekov with a shrug, hiding a mischievous smile.

Convinced that the Valar had sent them, the Fellowship took on the Starfleet officers.