An hour after the dinner, for some reason, Hachi stripped off her comfy sweatpants, which made Hachiman almost spurted the coffee he was drinking.
He gulped the sweet liquid in his mouth and shouted, "What the hell?"
"Ahh, sorry. Bad habit." Her face flushed since she had yet to get accustomed to the presence of a brother.
She was wearing spats and sports bra underneath, apparently. Still, the act by itself shows lack of restraint and utter confidence, which terrifies him.
Seriously, she was like overgrown Komachi in this regard.
Of course, while he had seen Komachi's body so many times he grew sick of it, this new experience made him conflicted, especially when his eyes inadvertently followed the sharp angles of her muscular calf.
Such magnificent tendons, like carved by Olympic gods themselves... Hachiman never saw such thing outside sports tournament he watched on TV.
No, really, he actually looked at her legs more than anything else.
"...did you just get a boner looking at my legs?" Hachi leered at him teasingly.
"I didn't get a boner." He said confidently, of course, he didn't deny he was looking anyway.
"I don't mind, it's unsightly anyway." She said as she slowly stretches her limb, warming herself up. "Who would like to look at this kind of body."
"Evidently Sensible! Readers do." Hachiman raised the magazine in question and snarked.
To be honest, Hachi might have muscular legs, but her overall body silhouette wasn't bad at all. Slender and well toned, tall and long-legged. Hikigaya Hachi looks like a dancer more than an actual athlete.
Anyone who says that look unsightly have shit taste.
"Speaking of which, what were you doing in France anyway? Something about Tennis?"
"Yeah, I went to Paris Tennis Academy with Miura-senpai."
"Miura... wait. Miura Yumiko? The queen bitch of 2-F? That Miura?" Hachiman balked.
"Yeah, she's pursuing tennis seriously again these days, and she insists on me tagging along." Hachi smiled happily, "She thinks I have the potential to become world tennis player or something, what a joke."
Hachiman was thoughtful and quiet when she said that.
Her and Miura... best friend? Or maybe... Rivals?
"What about him." Hachiman asked, "Hayama."
"Hmm, Hayama-senpai? I dunno, I think he's been quite lonely since Miura-senpai stops being obsessed with him. I wish he pays more attention to Isshiki though." She chuckled.
"Wait, what. Miura stop obsessing over him-do you mean she had enough of his shit or what?"
Hachi shook her head, "To be honest it seems that his group just naturally drift apart, each pursues their own interest. We still hang out together, though, big crowds and all."
"Big crowd?"
Hachiman was completely at loss.
If someone so persistent about status quo like Hayama and his group changed so much... what about Yukinoshita? What about Yuigahama?
"Well, I'm done stretching, I'm going to hit the gym now. Want to join?"
"The gym?"
"Yeah, I usually just jog around this time in the night, but Father said he's worried about his little girl so I enrolled in a Gym with a monthly membership fee since June."
No wonder she's so athletic. No, beyond that. her body alone screams that she was a top performer.
"Y-yeah, sure."
"Wait... didn't you collapse in the afternoon?"
"I got a lot of sleep afterward. If anything I feel like I have too much energy now." Hachiman reasoned.
"Hmm, we can't go on my bike though, too risky."
"Don't worry, I got my license and Hiratsuka-sensei and we buy... something." Hachiman scratched his head, conflicted. "She said, half of Soubu student went by motorbikes so might as well."
Hachiman should have known, from start to finish, this timeline was way out of whack. If his life was a fiction, then he just got stranded in an entirely different genre.
"I see, hope you can keep up though."
Hachi came out of the house then locked it as soon as Hachiman also get out with their bag. Hachi pulled the protective tarp to reveal that there wasn't just one bike, but two of them.
One of them would be her beloved Aprilia Blue Rose. And the other one... isn't. In a first glance, they look identical in size and silhouette, but the more detailed look would reveal major differences.
"Huh? It looks alike but slightly different to Blue Rose, what is that? Did you pick it yourself?"
"It's Gilera Eaglet. It's a sister model of Aprilia Classic from a different brand. I'm not entirely sure, and honestly, don't care, but there are a lot of differences. Either way, I like it because it's seat is low and comfortable to ride, the clutch was a pain in the ass though."
The rear wheel use wired hub instead of a solid hub, tachometer color was the opposite (black instead of silver), and the most glaring one would be an entirely different engine and exhaust, yet also the easiest to miss out.
Just like Hachiman and Hachi were superficially identical in appearance, yet different in everything else. Hachi wonders if this was a deliberate approach or simple case of irony at works.
"Well cruisers are badass, and your reasoning was identical to Totsuka-senpai."
He noticed that, when she said his name, there was a hint of sadness and reminiscence in her voice.
"Totsuka?"
"Yeah." Hachi forced a smile out, "He also picked Magna 50 because it's low ride height."
"I see." He was at loss for words.
On one side, he was really curious about the relationship between her and him. Could it be, she actually fell in love with him for real? It's always a possibility. After all, even Hachiman himself sometimes tempted.
So he decided just to quietly observe per usual.
They went to the gym in question. It was a massive building with numerous facilities inside, and he felt a little intimidated even as pe awkwardly parked his bike in the area.
"Huge!" He muttered, how could a building this huge withstand the frequent earthquakes of Japan? Truly a marvelous result of modern engineering.
"It practically has everything I need. Assisted training facilities, yoga studio, tennis courts, pools... Plus the most important part: there's special admission category for high school student too. It's not that cheap, but cheaper than other corporate gyms."
"Welcome to Renaissance," Hachi said happily, "Let's have you registered immediately."
"Wait a freaking minute, why should I?"
"Part of the program, don't whine." Hachi stuck out her tongue, "Someone paid for it anyway."
"What the hell, first the school, then the bike, and then now this?" Hachiman said, "Where did the money come from?"
Hachiman was well aware that someone other than his parents paid for his school tuition, it was explicitly said by Hiratsuka. Hiratsuka also paid for Hachiman's bike, but he honestly doubts it was out of goodwill.
So Hachi decided to go for the most straightforward, truthful answer. "I dunno, a bunch of rich men with nothing to do but playing with high school students and their lives?"
Hachiman looked at her like she was crazy, with his usual creepy inconsistent expression.
"Yeah, pull the other one." He scoffed, maybe it's because his mother and father seem to be promoted early in the year, with more money to flow in.
He didn't know, to be honest, a lot of things just don't make sense in this world.
Hachi refused to elaborate further, as it looks like Hachiman didn't know anything about the Foundation at all, or even believe in their existence.
It's pretty rational to think that way, and this being Hachiman, that's just expected of him. He will, at some point learn the truth, but now probably isn't the best time.
Hachiman pulled out both his student ID and Driver's license, both of which shown that he's a high school student of the correct age. Because of this, he can register with the much cheaper admission fee of six thousand yen, paid by Hachi.
In comparison, most corporate chain Gym like this has somewhere between ten thousand and twelve thousand admission fee for general members. Renaissance itself has a similar regular membership fee.
"By the way, Hachiman... I have to ask you this." Hachi said, "What's your ideal self?"
"...?" He raised his eyebrows in response.
"I mean I've told you before right?" Hachi said, "Your presence is too vague and easy to forget."
"I'm fine being forgettable." He sighed.
"Did you?"
Hachiman wondered, why she was so obsessed with making a good first impression.
People are shallow and pay attention to appearances only for the most part, and while he had grooming sense of a hobo, even he wasn't hypocritical enough to deny that. He always paid attention to other people's physical appearances.
That's just human nature after all. But he didn't see why he himself had to change.
On the other hand...
Would it be easier for him to reconnect with the people he separated with if he wasn't such a sore thumb in their eyes?
Maybe...
Not like he spent a single yen for it anyway.
"I dunno." Hachiman answered, "Do you think it's really important to be physically attractive or what?"
"Well, it's more like this." Hachi excitedly pointed, "Wouldn't it be easier for people to understand you if they actually pay attention to you?"
"You know, I despise the fact that you're right." Hachiman frowned.
"No shit." Hachi snorted, "I used to think like you did. Then I meet Hiratsuka-sensei."
"Yeah, what about her?"
"So, if she wasn't such a beauty would you still pay attention to her?"
"What the hell does that even mean-"
She gleefully rubbed his chin as she teased him, "Oh, can that shit out. The way you describe her was way too stereotypical. You have a crush on her don't you?"
"Maybe if she was ten years younger." He defiantly told her and smacked her fingers away, though he blushed madly.
Hachi made sure she will warn Yuri later.
"I admit, Hiratsuka-sensei is such a grand beauty." Hachiman smirked, "But if physical beauty is what it takes, then she won't be single for this long."
Well, not like Hachiman was wrong. Hiratsuka lacked absolutely anything that makes a good wife.
Still, feelings don't lie. Hachiman wasn't really a normal guy, to begin with, and he's fine being house husband if he were to be ten years older...
"But would you know her true personality without actually paying attention to her?" Hachi asked, "People said don't judge a book by the cover, but at the end of the day, at the very least they would look at the title, the author, or the synopsis. Am I wrong?"
"You're not." Hachiman implicitly admits defeat, "But not everyone born attractive like you or me."
"Whoa, big talk for someone with the creepy face." She took a couple of steps away from him jokingly.
"Yeah, that comes from someone with an exact same face as me." He retorted, "Someone who was born ugly, fat, or with disabilities, there were also people who were like that. And they get judged for it."
Hachi quickly approached him and yanked his hand so he didn't wander randomly, "If you're overweight, you take a bath and groom yourself more often. If you're ugly, then you just make sure to never dress badly. Disabled people shouldn't give up just because they face more challenge than normal people, which makes them appealing thanks to their drive to survive and move forward, pass their weakness."
He could feel her strong, firm hand, adorned with calloused fingers gripping tightly on his wrist.
He could just FEEL the painstaking effort she put to keep her physical shape from that simple touch alone.
"In this cruel and unjust world, only people who can put an effort in defining themselves can earn their happy ending."
For some reason, her last words actually struck him in the deepest of his mind. When exactly Hachiman even put some effort in anything? In fact, he put more ffort being lazy than doing anything of substance.
For some reason, the first person that comes to his mind was...
"...Yuigahama." He muttered subconsciously.
"Huh?"
"No." He said, "I just remember something that's all. Can you let me go?"
Hachi let go his hand, at last, he could still feel the traces of her finger uncomfortably. Hachiman was never someone who comfortable with physical contact, not even when they're someone from his family.
But of all family members, Hachi certainly the closest one who feels like a total stranger to him.
It's not even one day since they meet, and yet, he already feels weird about her existence.
Is Hikigaya Hachi even normal high school student anymore? He was wondering about that, to be honest.
She's apparently a model, she's also a considerably talented tennis athlete, and if the reaction of gym goers is any indication, Hachi seems to be pretty popular with both genders. Plus, her grades weren't at the top, but still fairly high.
He couldn't even say he's envious because the gaps between them were way too enormous for him to comprehend.
Far cry from Hachiman in junior high. Hachi actually reminded him strongly of Yukino than anyone else.
And yet, in this strange and illogical new world, she might be the only person who truly understood what kind of person Hachiman was.
It was a strange contradiction. And it bugs him supremely.
やはり, 俺の関係の値はリセットされました
As Expected, My Relationship Values had been Reset
Disclaimer:
Original Story by Watari Wataru
Chapter 3 - Situation normal, all fucked up.
Soreness.
The first thing Hachiman felt when he was halfway waking up was the soreness all over his body, and yet, for some reason, he also feels strongly energized.
"A bit perky in the morning, even though we've done it so much yesterday huh?"
Hachiman stiffens up, and not in the way that could end up on a pleasant note, as he creaked his neck and forced himself to look aside.
Only to find his female counterpart laying beside him, leaned on her side seductively, her zipper halfway open to show her collarbones and part of her cleavage in their glory.
"I think I just died a little." Hachiman deadpanned, too tired to deal with this shit in the morning.
"Oh come on, and now you suddenly have immunity?" She protested.
"My everything was too much in pain to get embarrassed."
Or aroused for that matter.
He said as he took a deep breath and then forced himself to sit down.
He looked at the piles upon piles of fashion magazines scattered all over the guest room, which became his de-facto bedroom since two weeks ago.
He just realized that he and Hachi fell asleep when they were doing some fashion research.
Of course, there was also the fact that Hachiman almost ran himself to death at the gym. That said, looks like the supplement he drank during the exercise help dealing with the worst of the symptom.
"I avoid using Creatine because they add bulk to your muscles from the accumulated water. But you could use some of that because you're thin as a noodle."
In the end, Hachiman drank Creatine during exercise and BCAA before he went to sleep. That doesn't mean the pain was gone, but they were more subdued and his mind was much sharper than he expected.
More BCAA after breakfast, but first, he needed to get up.
"Seriously though, zip up. Looking at female me half-naked makes me uncomfortable."
"What? Did you get excited?"
"Did Yukinoshita Haruno hijacked your body or something? Leave me alone."
"Oookay, but to be fair you sounds crankier than old diesel." She backed down at last and pointed, before slipping out of the door, prancing happily.
Hachiman really was sensitive to teasing, but he only shoots back at certain times, or against herself. Hachi became aware of this.
He never talked back to his parents or Komachi, and Hachi wondered if Hachiman still feels like a stranger. But aside from that, he seems to interact with them normally.
Was it because he was afraid to offend someone?
Also, Hachiman seems to know Haruno well, and to think Hachi herself actually super cautious of her, that speak volumes.
When Hachi fixed her loose sweatpants and zipped up her tracksuit as soon as she was out of his room, her mother stumbled on her, and from her expression, it was pretty clear she misunderstood something.
"I can explain-"
"No need, just use protect... Oh wait, you're on a birth control anyway. Nevermind." The mother winced in disgust and quickly went downstairs. "Kids these days..."
Hachi screamed internally as soon as she regained her senses again.
...
"So, where are you going to go today?" The father asked curiously.
"Uniqlo store in Aurora Mall," Hachiman replied lightly.
"Uniqlo? Isn't that the cheap brand store?" This time the mother asked, "Not that I particularly like expensive clothes."
"I need a lot of clothes, and it has the right amount of selection. I think I'm going to splurge on the winter coat later." Hachiman replied again.
"Just because it's cheap doesn't mean it's bad, though." Hachi commented, "Though this asshole still can't decide what kind of style he wants to have."
"Hey, you praised my sense of coordination yesterday." Hachiman protested, "Was that all a lie, like sweet nothings you whispered in my ears last night?"
Hachi coughed a bit and reached for a glass of water, Komachi kindly gave her.
Hachiman looked away and stuck his tongue mischievously, while the father became pale in response. The wife just laughed a bit when she finished her breakfast and shook her head.
She never saw either of them so lively before, and while the jokes were rather off-color, she felt it's a good thing that Hachiman seems to open up.
"I'm going to watch some movies at AEON." Komachi said, "I'll be back before 3 P.M."
"Riiight, I'm going to work." The father said when he put his empty plates in the sink, tried not to think hard of his children's antics. "Don't forget to lock the door when you're going out."
"And be careful about the laundry." The mother also told them, and so, both of them departed to go to work.
While technically it's summer vacations for the country, works never stopped for the labor sector. Instead, corporations gave out extremely generous bonuses and incentives for people who work over the course of July and August.
Even though it's vacation, the Hikigaya children rarely see their parents stay at home outside weekends.
The kids scrambled to get the chores done before their scheduled time to depart. Komachi deal with the laundry and wash the dishes, Hachi was cleaning the bathroom and Hachiman went to vacuum the entire house like no one's business.
Back then, he was always lazy and only helped his sister half-assedly, which did wonders about his image in front of his old parents. Hachiman always thought they play favoritism, but now that he could objectively rethink his past, it was rather karmic.
So at the very least, he doesn't want to sound ungrateful. His new parents accepted his presence like it was the most natural thing, and he doesn't want to spit on their kindness.
"I have been wanting to ask this, but our parents seem to be at home more often." Hachiman asked, "What happened?"
"Newly enforced labor laws." Hachi explained, "Because of this, over time were severely restricted."
"Wow, Japanese government not writing something ass-backward for once." He lightly remarked.
Part of the reason why Hachiman wanted to be a house husband was the stupid labor laws and a massive amount of overtime was just one part of Japanese's toxic work culture.
"Man, are you asking to get shot?" Hachi joked, "Though yes, it's been enforced since early this year. So father and mother usually returned by eight or nine at night, sometimes at seven."
"I see, good for them."
"Well then, I'm going ahead!" Komachi threw air kisses, "Have fun on your date~!"
Less than half an hour later, Hachi and Hachiman decided to ride the train from Makuhari station to Chiba station via Soubu mainline.
"Honestly I'd like to go with bikes, but there's not much in the way to park there in Chiba Station area." Hachi smiled.
"Eh, I honestly don't care."
"You don't like bikes, Hachiman?"
"Bikes are cool, but that fucking clutch just pisses me off."
Hachi did notice how Hachiman seems to have difficulty operating a manual clutch to the point of jolting around at the start, like riding a wild horse. He said it was poor hand-eye coordination but Hachi knew it was more lack of experience.
Not like Hachi mastered clutch in one day or anything.
"Thinking of Chiba station I remember something really dumb." Hachiman suddenly said when they arrived.
"What was that?"
"I decided to shut my phone because of Hiratsuka-sensei who keep pestering me about Service club summer activity. She ended up using Komachi to trap me, thinking that I was supposed to bring Komachi to Chiba. Instead of Chiba station, I was kidnapped to Chibamura, Gunma."
Hachi burst out laughing.
"It's super dumb right?" He chuckled, "So, how you end up over there?"
"I volunteered of course. A lot of people volunteered. We ride our bikes through two hundred kilometers roundabout trip around mountains to avoid police."
"Sounds tiring."
Hachiman can't imagine riding bikes for few hours let alone for half a day. His ass would be toast, especially right in the middle of summer, of all things.
"It might sound delusional now that I'm talking about this to you." Hachiman sadly smiled, "I mean, I could totally make shit up."
His memories with these people... fleet away like a distant dream. He actually thinks about it a lot, and accepting the fact that his memories might be altered is easier to accept that he came from an alternate universe or something.
Human minds are fickle, and as someone who aware of that, Hachiman was almost hopeless.
Of course, it's not as if there wasn't any proof of his existence.
Hachiman stood quietly looking into the screen of the iPhone, on the screen was Yuigahama hugging Yukino while confused Hachiman slightly behind.
This photo was taken by Hiratsuka on his phone.
And not just that, but there's more, sometimes super random Hachiman appearance, usually small and in the background.
"It's weird, I feel like I just photoshopped myself into this picture for some reason. If normalfags see this they would think it's faked or some kind of ghost sighting."
But he collected them, despite that. Because they were the proof that he exists.
Hachiman's statement was physically painful enough that Hachi almost burst into tears of concentrated pity.
"You're losing grip on reality so please stop." Hachi shook his shoulder, concerned. "I'm having a traumatic flashback and it's not pleasant."
It reminded her too much of her past self and she doesn't want that lingering image to resurface.
"Well, it can't be helped." Hachiman put his phone back in his pocket.
"You were close with Yukinoshita-senpai and Yuigahama-senpai huh?" Hachi asked.
"Well, I don't think we're that close but we're not exactly strangers either." Hachiman winced.
His lack of effort probably hit him right in the dick again, and he was sad about it.
Hachi didn't exactly understand the turmoil inside his mind, but even so, she knows she had the means to pull him out.
So she hooked her arm around his own and dragged him, and made him squirmed from embarrassment.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"This is a date, right? Date!" She pouted, "Stop wallowing in self-pity and follow me."
In all honesty, it wasn't at all bad. Still, from her point of view, she might have been dragging a twin brother or a clone and no reason to be ashamed, but from his point of view, he was being pulled around by a beautiful model who just happened to have the same face.
Mixed feelings weren't enough to describe it.
His romantic comedy totally went into atrociously wrong direction, as expected.
...
When Hachi and Hachiman entered the mall, Hachiman noticed some of the patrons stole a gaze or two from them. Hachiman, of course, knows it's because Hachi was a model.
And since she dolled up herself for a date instead of going with her no-makeup homely appearance, she could easily be recognized more than usual.
This made his feeling of inferiority all the more pronounced.
maybe he REALLY needs to get himself dressed up to hell and back. Otherwise, he will go crazy.
Was it jealously? No, jealously implies he had negative feelings about his female self. Rather this feeling directed inwardly right on his psyche.
"Shall we go to UNIQLO right away?"
"That would be nice." Hachiman pulled his collar open, feeling a bit suffocated.
Getting themselves to the shopping area didn't earn them less attention, and then they arrived at the chain fast fashion store.
It's packed densely with all forms of clothing articles. And when Hachiman looked at the price tags, they weren't as cheap as he wished but cheaper than he expected.
"So, where do we even begin? Do you know?" Hachi winked.
"Fashion started with the bottom, I'm in dire need of buying some shoes anyway," Hachi said, "But I'm honestly conflicted."
"Conflicted."
"Like this, you know... do you think informal bottom and a formal top is better than a formal bottom and informal top?"
Hachiman already began coordinating, which surprised Hachi. It seems that his fashion sense isn't as bad as he claimed.
"The first would give an air of maturity and cool image, but the latter is more... I dunno, fresh and firm?" Hachi muttered, "Why don't you try and then we ask Komachi as well."
"Ah right, let's do just that." Hachiman quickly retrieved the many-many combination of clothes and went to changing room.
When he first came out, he was wearing white slacks, socks, sneaker, with a dark blue long sleeved shirt and light vest.
"That actually looks okay, but can do better," Hachi said as she took pictures, "6/10, I guess."
"What do you think can be replaced?"
"The vest." Hachi commented, "Foamy ultralight look nasty on you because you have a rough silhouette. We need something less flashy, and more refined."
"Mountain parka?" He switched to the beige-colored thick parka, which fits him better.
"Yep, the weather still fairly hot though so you might want thinner ones."
"Alright, this one is a buy." Hachiman decided, dump the parka on 'must buy' pile then he returns back to changing room, came out wearing a white shirt with a sweater vest. "How about now?"
"7/10 you look like nerd out of campus, we need more casual pants."
Hachiman returned back to changing room, then piled up two pairs of slacks on the 'to buy' pile. He was wearing tight fit jeans to balance out the shirt.
"8/10."
After trying out few more casual geared coordination and piling more and more, Hachiman came out with his final choice.
Dark blue blazer on top of a white T-shirt, paired with black sneaker and jeans, and with clear-shaded wellington sunglasses. A semi-formal combination that was exceedingly simple, yet, had an unexpected side effect.
Hachi almost dropped her phone in a panic, and Hachiman caught pretty much the attention of every woman who was there, some of them actually dropped the stuff they held.
Including the sales ladies.
"...what's wrong, did it look bad?"
Hachi licked her lips sultry as she slowly walked toward him with a seductive look. But more than that, she looked strangely satisfied.
"No, that's a ten out of ten." She whispered. Her breath was heavy and warm, stimulating his ears with a husky voice. "You hear that? That's the sounds of panties dropping everywhere."
Hachiman couldn't believe her and asked, "You're fucking with me right?"
"No. It must be the glasses." Hachi pointed.
That said, of all sudden, he really felt worried about his virtue from all the lewd gazes not directed at her, but at him.
He screamed internally and quickly removed his sunglasses and put back where it belongs.
"Glasses too OP, nerf, please." He muttered.
(He ended up buying it anyway.)
And that was just the beginning of their extremely screwed-up date.