You didn't really think that now that there are no more Nico files I would let you hanging with this story? The fun is just starting now that I can go off completely where I want to...

This is my take on last night and from here on the story will go into AU territory.

Chapter 6: Grieve

Marshall Pittman was dead. At first Dani couldn't believe it, but as she looked at Nico and saw how sad he looked , she knew it was true. She had been sitting outside, grieving for Mr. Fishy when he had come over with the tapes. Or actually she had been grieving for everything that had gone wrong recently when he had come over with the tapes. She grieved for her lost marriage and for Ray because he was so irresponsible. She grieved for her and Matt's relationship that was clearly over now and left her with a feeling of loneliness. He had always been her friend to call when she needed someone to talk to and now she couldn't do that anymore. She grieved for Jeanette who was halfway around the world and who she couldn't call anymore either. For TK who had a long time ahead of him in rehab and who had just lost another friend. And for herself because she had never felt so alone and helpless as she had recently. If it hadn't been for Nico, she wouldn't know what she had done. And now she had to add another name to the list: Nico. However she hadn't lost him, he was right here beside her, but she was grieving with him.

"You lost your friend." Nico had looked sympathetic when he had seen Mr. Fishy and his sympathy had allowed Dani to wallow in her self-pity a moment longer. Until he had spoken again.

"So did I," he said and she saw that it took everything he had to get his emotions back under control. Why did he always have to do this? His struggle against the tears was what made her believe that it was true more than anything else, although it took her a moment to get out of her stupor. "They found his body," Nico shook his head in disbelieve... refusing to believe when he knew better. "Marshall is dead."

"Oh my god," she whispered when it finally registered in her brain what he was telling her and what it meant for him. He had just lost his best friend and was now sitting beside her staring at his hands, controlling his emotions as if he still believed what little boys were told: 'Men don't cry'. She put the fish bowl away and pulled him into a hug and for a split second she wondered how easy that had been. It seemed like he really needed it. "Nico, I'm sorry," she told him, because it was all she could do while she hugged him, "I'm sorry." Then she closed her eyes and let herself be held just as much as she held him.

"He was the only one who knew me," Nico spoke quietly as he held her just a bit tighter. Her eyes opened when he spoke again. "Except you." It was a statement that made her pull back. She didn't completely let go of him, her hand was still resting on his back as she looked at him and thought that he looked somewhat scared. He was scared because he had just admitted something to her that he believed to be true. However she didn't. She didn't know him, not in her book. But that wasn't why she had to disagree with him. What he was telling her was as close to a declaration of love as it got with Nico. And he just couldn't love her. And she couldn't love him.

"I don't... know you," she disagreed softly as the hand formerly resting on his arm slowly made its way up to his chest. Nico looked puzzled now. Did he really believe that she knew him?

He nodded, then shook his head as he spoke, totally convinced by what he was telling her, "Yeah... you do." She thought about arguing back, insisting that she didn't... but then she saw the look in his eyes and remembered that he never lied. She knew him... He thought she knew him. He thought he loved her, absolutely believed it. She couldn't say who had started but next they pulled each other closer, the hand on his chest cupped his cheek and she felt his breath on her face. They stopped, both thinking about pulling back and stopping this, just like the week before. Their eyes met briefly and they saw that they both wanted this kiss... needed it. They closed their eyes as their lips met hesitatingly, both still afraid of what they were doing. Then Dani let go of the fear and gave herself to the feeling of kissing him. It felt amazing and right. He kissed her softly and she felt cherished and loved. Certainly not alone anymore. She pulled back a bit and slung both arms around his neck when she felt him hesitate again. It worked and he wrapped his arms around her as well, held her tight and pulled her more into him as the kiss became more intense. She had to stretch so her fingertips could still touch his hair as he sat up straight on his side of the bench they were sitting on and pulled her over with him. His left hand was in her hair, messing it up as the other rested on her back and held her to him. The kiss went on and deepened and the contentment of just kissing him vanished slowly but steadily. She wanted to touch him more and the feeling of his hair against her hands wasn't enough. Neither was his chest pressed against hers. Or the hand resting on her back. When they broke the kiss they were both breathing heavily, but didn't let go of each other. They had a decision to make if they wanted to take this further that night or not. However talking about it was awkward and not talking about it would make it even more awkward in the long run... Dani's thoughts started to run a mile a minute and she felt like her head was spinning when Nico stopped it by placing a single soft kiss on her lips and then pulling back. His right hand was still resting on her back and his arm halfway wrapped around her shoulder, but he pulled back so she couldn't feel his breath on her skin anymore. She missed him immediately and leaned back in, but Nico directed her with the hand on her back so she was resting her head against his shoulder. It was comfortable and warm there and although the questions about the kiss and what they were doing were still burning in her mind, she kept her mouth shut for once and followed Nico's lead, knowing she could trust him.

"What are you gonna do with the dead fish?" he asked calmly and she wondered for a second if she had just imagined everything. She checked by licking her lips and could still taste him there. So she knew the kiss had actually happened.

"I don't know. Lindsay doesn't know yet. She's gonna be devastated. He was her friend, too," Dani replied and sniffed, which made Nico pull her against him even tighter.

"They want to autopsy Marshall's body because they aren't sure yet why the plane crashed and what he died of. Juliette will have to deal with the funeral arrangements and I don't think Gabrielle will help her. I have to check the contracts and talk to the lawyers to know what will happen to the team now..." Nico listed and Dani knew he was making a plan in his head so he could avoid the emotional pain he was feeling. He couldn't let himself grieve.

"It never ends," she sighed and knew that he would understand what she meant. Their list of things that needed fixing never seemed to end. There was always something or someone to take care of. It never stopped. She felt him nodding against her before he buried his nose in her hair for a second.

"Why did you kiss me?" he asked her then, still in the same quiet, calm tone.

"I don't know," she shrugged, knowing all she could give him was the truth. "It felt right."

"Yeah," he nodded again, "it did. But I don't want you to avoid me because it will feel awkward tomorrow."

Dani looked up at him and met his eyes with hers. "I won't." To prove it she placed a soft kiss on his cheek and then snuggled back into his arms.

"Forgive many things in others, nothing in yourself," Nico said suddenly against her hair and interrupted the comfortable silence. She was lost and didn't know what he was talking about.

"What?"

"My favorite quote. You asked for it on facebook," he enlightened her and made her smile, even though she was still in such a strange and mellow mood.

"I just knew you had one," she smiled and glanced up at him. She was relieved to see that for the moment a flicker of amusement was back in his eyes. Grieve comes on waves, she knew and for the moment his had ebbed and she wanted to keep it that way. "I also asked you for your favorite book and favorite music," she reminded him and decided not to comment on how wrong she found his favorite quote.

"The Alchemist- Paulo Coelho and music depends on my mood. No jazz, though. I hate jazz," he replied and made her giggle when he shuddered at the thought of jazz music.

"If I pump you for more information right now will you answer all of my questions?" she asked cheekily.

"Probably," he said barely above a whisper and she knew the sadness was back. The moment of tentative bantering was over and the vulnerability back. Strangely enough she felt the same way.

"Have you talked to Juliette yet?" Dani asked and adjusted her position so she could see his face.

"I was the one who told her that her father is dead."

"How did she take it?"

"She said that she doesn't believe me and hung up on me." He looked so sad and lost that second that Dani was overwhelmed by tenderness for him.

"Oh Nico," she simply whispered and cupped his cheek again.

"She doesn't want to see me," he added.

"She will calm down and then I'm sure she wants to see you. From everything you told me Juliette loves you very much and once she has gotten over the shock she will need you," she assured him.

"I think I'm gonna take a quick break, get away for a week or two until everything has calmed down. I can't work like this," he told her and took a deep breath before he pulled away from her.

"Oh god, a vacation sounds amazing," Dani sighed, missing the body contact with him. He opened his mouth, stopped himself and closed it again. Then he cocked his head to the side, looked her in the eyes and seemed to make a decision.

"Then come with me, Dani." The way he said her name gave her goose bumps. Immediately Dani had pictures of him and her kissing, undressing and touching on a beautiful beach in front of her inner eye. It was so tempting, but a bad idea.

"I can't," she shrugged and hoped she wouldn't have to explain it more.

"If you can't because you feel like you are needed here or because you need to be here then I wholeheartedly agree. But if you don't want to come because of the kiss...," he took her hands in his as he spoke, "I'm not asking you to come with me because I want you to make me feel better or that we can use each other to make us feel better. I'm not looking for someone to have sex with. I am asking you as a friend if you want to come away with me for a while to simply relax. Nothing more and nothing less," he clarified and she suddenly felt stupid for assuming that he wanted to sleep with her. It was just a kiss... just one teeny tiny kiss and nothing more would ever happen... oh how she hated that thought, as much as it made her feel relieved. However going away with Nico for a week or so, simply relaxing, being quiet together, talking walks and drinking wine...God, that would be good.

"Ok," she agreed before she could stop herself or think about it some more. It was what she needed and she would travel with a friend.

"Ok, I'll pick you up Wednesday at seven am. Be ready," he said and got up.

"Where are we going?" she asked him, because he hadn't mentioned it once.

"You'll see," he told her and was back to his secretive answers. "Just one thing: If you keep talking in the car for three hours straight again, I will lock you into the trunk and duct tape your mouth shut," he threatened. If Dani didn't know him she wouldn't know he was joking.

"Same answer Nico: Have you met me?!" she asked and grinned as he rolled his eyes and got up.

"See you Wednesday Dani,"

"Wednesday Nico," she said and only realized that she had still been holding his hand when he walked away and she had to let go.

TBC

And? Agree or disagree with my take on things?