It Sucks To Be Us

About This Story: Brittany is not happy when the endangered suck toad is stuck to her face, and Alvin is not much happier about "babysitting" her. How can such a double-negative experience turn positive for anyone? Age-wise they are 11. I don't own any part of the Chipmunk franchise, just borrowing them from Nickelodeon, Janice Karman, & Ross Bagdasarian, their family, & their company.

About This Chapter: Rated PG-13 (T), for mentions of adolescent issues such as female bodily functions (menstruation), eating disorders, and stuffing bras and boxers.

Pairings: Alvin/Brittany

2. Could Things Get Worse?

Alvin groaned as he slumped onto the couch, and turned on his video game. The multiple explosions as he blew up zombies drowned out all the negative thoughts and memories of the day at school he just experienced.

Over the noise of the video game, he heard the sound of his father coughing as he walked into the living room from working in his office. "Oh...Alvin," Dave blinked, as though he were actually surprised to see his son. "I just thought Brittany would be with you right now, and that the specialist from New Zealand told you to avoid bright, flashy screen images and loud noises for the sake of the...uh...delicate endangered animal stuck to her. Where is she? Is she OK?"

Alvin sighed and rolled his eyes. "I already walked her home to the Treehouse. She slammed the door in my face as soon as she got home. She doesn't want to see me or talk to me anymore today. And the feeling is mutual—I've had enough of her constant whining. I also have a new respect for Jeanette and Eleanor, who have to live with all of that whining. I mean, I don't blame them for going to space camp for two weeks just to get away from her! Oh, but they would probably know how to get their sister to listen, to get her to take better care of the suck toad, and they know how to keep her from being so self-obsessed all the time."

"I take it you and Brittany had a rough day." Dave offered an empathetic half-smile as he sat down on the couch next to Alvin. "I could use a break from work, myself, so why don't you turn off the video game and tell me what happened today?"

"Alright." Alvin reluctantly turned off the game and sighed. "But I must warn you that this story doesn't have a happy ending."

Dave patted Alvin's shoulder. "Well...this, too, shall pass..."

"But I won't..." Alvin muttered.

"What?" Dave blinked in confusion.

Alvin glanced up at his father and clarified. "But I won't pass, because I'll be in sixth grade forever. It's all Brittany's fault! My midterm grade is in her hands—well, actually on her face, and it's like she keeps deliberately going against the specialist's instructions, like she wants to ensure that the suck toad dies, and that I fail sixth grade. Then she, and all the other Chipmunks will go on to the junior high campus across the street while I'm left back a year. All because..." He groaned and pretended to toss his hair back in another overly ditsy-blonde exaggerated impression of Brittany, "Like, oh my gosh! Everyone will give me dirty looks if I don't wear enough makeup, or enough pink, or enough hairspray. I just don't want to smell and dress like those rednecks from some 'Swamp People' episode. I must be pretty all the time or I will cease to be Brittany and the world will end, because it will stop revolving around me!" He returned to his usual voice. "She snuck her pink clothes, her makeup, and some candy into her locker again today. The nerve of that girl!"

"Again?" Dave sighed. "In Simon's old camping backpack that I found for her, when you told me her pink glittery backpack was too bright and shiny?"

"Yes." Alvin groaned. "She even put some sparkly stickers on the backpack, since it wasn't bling-y and shiny enough. She told me that people will think she stole some boy's backpack if it doesn't have enough sparkly stickers on it, and that no one will believe it's hers. You know how she complains about how green is not her color, especially that camo-shade of green.

"But that's the least of my problems. She also spent longer than usual in the bathroom—just to get away from me. She says it's just her time of the month, and she's cramping and bloating more than usual, since she can't have Midol or Motrin. But, come on! All of those other months she was not near this hostile, even on the dreaded 'Day Two'!"

"Are you keeping track of her cycles or something?" Dave chuckled. "I don't even track Julie's cycle that closely!"

Alvin sighed. "What can I say? Julie is an angel all month long. I think every other girl in the world is, except for Brittany. I keep track by asking Jeanette, who is synced with Brittany, since they are so close. I don't know about Eleanor—she may not have reached...anarchy yet, or whatever it's called. But even if she did, she and Jeanette are both sweet and mellow angels all month. Brittany was moody even before PMS entered her life—er, all of our lives! But she's extra nuts when she has PMS, and I keep track so I know when to avoid her, or when she will be just a little madder at me, or hate me more than usual, since she has even found ways to blame me for everything her own hormones do to her body. I mean, if I didn't have to babysit her and take care of that suck toad—since she doesn't care about it, or my midterm grade—I would normally just be avoiding her this week, period—no pun intended." He chuckled slightly.

Dave chuckled and patted Alvin's shoulder. "Fine. When this is over, I'll look into a doctor's appointment for Brittany to see if she might need medical help. It could be a chemical or hormonal imbalance of some kind." He added a slightly playful nudge and asked with a hint of sarcasm, "Would you like an appointment as well, Mister ADHD?"

Alvin rolled his eyes. "I'm sure I will need therapy after this, David Dear. But please understand that I am not the one with the problem. I mean, in addition to PMS, I think Brittany may also have an eating disorder. That's another thing that may go on in the bathroom when Brittany uses that as an excuse to hide from me. Sure, she says all that salad she has to eat is just going right through her. But she's hardly eating, except for the times I've caught her eating candy in her locker. I've had to shove healthy food into her mouth to get her to eat! Girls on their way out of the girls' bathroom at school are starting to talk about me being an 'enabler' for her bulimia, since they say she just throws up the healthy food I make her eat, and replaces it with candy. OK, I admit I may have occasionally given her a hard time about how she swings her hips or her butt when she walks, but she knows me by now, and knows that I'm just goofing off with her. If anything, I think the way she walks is kinda cute—you know, the way her hips rhythmically move and the way her tail sways, like she's dancing. And just thinking about it makes me laugh, or want to dance with her."

"Ooh..." Dave winced. "That can be some dangerous territory, and I don't know if that's very brave or very stupid to say any of that to her. Because if I said that to any girl, I'm sure she would take it the wrong way and assume I meant the worst. Brittany is very sensitive about that. What seems like 'just joking around' to you might hurt her more than you think. You actually told her any of that?"

"I kept all that in mind and handled it all with sensitivity, Dave." Alvin reassured him. "I don't remember when I told her that, but it actually made her smile. She even thanked me and said I made her day. Oh wait... I think it was some time earlier this year when I overheard her talking to Eleanor and Theodore, telling them she was envious of their self-confidence and popularity, despite their...slower metabolism, while she feels she walks the fine line between 'too skinny' and 'too chubby'. That kind of thinking must've come from Ian and the body-shaming he used to do to her, since I never have used the 'F-word' to describe Theodore or Eleanor—and certainly not Brittany or anyone else! And I will face-attack anyone at school who dares to use that word to describe anyone in my family or Brittany's."

"The 'F-word'?...!" Dave gasped.

"You know..." Alvin clarified with a whisper, "Fat."

"Oh, that F-word!" Dave said with relief. "Well, thank you for sticking up for them. I do hope you use words and talk to people before you resort to any form of physical violence, though."

"Sure I do!" Alvin shrugged. "But I digress... Circling back to today at school... Well, it wasn't easy for me to sit by Brittany during lunch and get her to eat healthy food for another reason—the suck toad actually stinks. I mean, you try enjoying lunch when the person sitting next to you has a sick suck toad on their face! At least from Brittany's right side, she's easier to look at! And luckily for Brittany, she can blame a lot of her smell on the suck toad, but I'm sure the suck toad isn't responsible for all of the smell, when Brittany is the one who had to change her diet, and go without using scented body sprays or perfume. If my brothers were here and within three feet of her, they would never complain about my stinky socks again!"

"Hmmm, I think I may have some packets of activated charcoal somewhere." Dave was brainstorming. "Those might help with the smell, without spraying extra harmful chemicals into the air that could poison the suck toad. But you might ask the specialist if that would help."

"I don't think we'll be bothering the specialist anymore..." Alvin nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "You see, right before we left school, we video-chatted with him from the principal's office. Brittany was working there as the principal's assistant, which gave her time to sit down and have a few hours break from me. Anyways, the specialist told us some bad news. He said that it looks like our suck toad is circling the drain, and it might be more humane to just peel it off, especially if we see no improvement by morning. Brittany seemed a little more motivated to save it at that point, but with her mood swings, it's hard to tell if she really means that."

"So, there's still a chance?" Dave asked with concern.

"Well, I told her I would try to help, but she's still mad at me." Alvin sighed. "And she has a good reason to be. I haven't even gotten to the most embarrassing thing that happened today." He chuckled nervously and continued to rub the back of his neck.

"Embarrassing thing?" Dave pulled his son into a partial hug. "What happened, Alvin?" He asked as he rubbed Alvin's back.

Alvin began, "There was a time during our break after lunch. Since the suck toad doesn't smell as bad outside, or from Brittany's right side, and because she's easier on the eyes from that side, I was sitting there next to her on some steps, minding my own business. We were both outside, still kinda in the shade, since she's supposed to be careful about sun exposure. Well, Derek and his friends were playing 'wall-ball' nearby, and at some point their ball came in our direction. This was all on Britt's left side—which is like her blind spot, as you know. Anyways, they accidentally kicked her in the left hip. When I saw that she might fall down the stairs from this, I reached out to grab her and keep her from falling—just call it an instinct. The only lucky thing from this is that she didn't fall down the stairs and get more hurt than she already was, unless you actually can die of embarrassment."

Alvin continued, "But instead of this heroic endeavor resulting in a happy ending, I accidentally ripped her shirt and popped her bright pink bra. And a bunch of folded Kleenexes she used to stuff her bra fell out. People were staring at us, thanks to all of Britt's screaming in fear and pain. I could hear a bunch of them talking about us and laughing about us 'going to second base', while I tried keeping her covered and re-hooking her bra. Some people even got out their phones and took a few pics or videos that have probably gone viral by now. We eventually had to use a stapler from the principal's office to hold her shirt together for the rest of the day. Anyone who saw us afterwards kept sarcastically asking stuff like, 'Hey, Brittany, got any Kleenexes I can borrow?' Or, 'Hey, Alvin, have you seen if Brittany is wearing matching panties?' Or even comments like, 'Hey, Alvin, you look like you must've had plenty of practice with Brittany's bra!' Or 'Hey, Alvin, you sure know your way around Brittany's bra!' I'm sure this whole incident added to her stress level, which is killing the suck toad. But it's hard to stay calm—or keep her calm—when everyone at school saw her bra, and her stuffing, as well as me putting her back together."

"Poor Brittany!" Dave gasped. "Now, did they just see her bra, or did they see...well—"

"It was just the bra." Alvin interrupted him before he could finish. "But mostly the stuffing. At least I think that was all that was exposed. Not that she has anything to hide—hence all the stuffing."

"Alvinnn..." Dave's tone and temper started rising.

Alvin quickly steered the conversation back on track to avoid getting in trouble. "Uh...but Brittany moved her hands quickly enough to keep covered. So things could've been worse—I don't think this 'wardrobe malfunction' resulted in a 'nip slip'. But I still don't blame her for being mad at me. If I could've done anything different, I think I would've done more walking and sitting—basically more hanging out—on her left side, you know, to protect her blind spot. Now Britt is mad at me for trying to help her. No matter what I do—I got her an ice pack from the nurse's office for her bruised hip that got kicked, I got her a heat pack for her 'girl cramps', I gave her a ride home in my red roadster, I helped her limp up the Treehouse stairs—and how does she thank me? She slams the Treehouse door in my face, and tells me to leave her alone for the rest of the day. While she probably cries herself to sleep, after eating her feelings in junk food. And the suck toad is getting sicker and sicker by the minute, and my midterm grade is plummeting with it!"

"Alvin, just take a few slow, deep breaths for a moment. OK?" Dave rubbed his son's back. "I see why this is challenging for you because your grade is depending on whether Brittany cooperates in your efforts to save the suck toad..." He saw Alvin nod, so he continued, "But Brittany is too selfish to listen to you, and she doesn't care about the suck toad or your grade...and so you are the only one who is suffering. Right?"

"Yeah...you get it, Dave!" Alvin sighed, but then blinked. "Oh wait...you're trying to get me to see that while I can come in here to get away from the suck toad, and I can talk to you about everything, that Brittany can't get away from the suck toad. It's always there with her. And her sisters are out of town, so she's all alone." He sighed again. "Oh, I have been the most rotten friend for her! She still feels like I've abandoned her, when she needs me the most." He glanced up at his father. "Oh, Dave, what should I do to make this right?"

Dave gave him a reassuring smile. "Well...First of all, Alvin, I've never known you to care so much about your grades. I mean, even if Ms Smith fails you, I'm sure I can still pull some strings at school so that you can still pass, as long as you do your best. But for a moment, let's put aside your grade for this project—I know that if you stop fighting for the life of this suck toad... Didn't you and Britt name it—er, her—Evelyn, or Elizabeth, or something like that?"

Alvin blinked. "Yeah, we named her Eve. We thought she was like a 'curse' upon us, but I guess we were more of a 'curse' on her. We really haven't been good suck toad parents. Now I see why you've never been crazy about us getting a pet." He shared a small chuckle with Dave.

"I see you're coming around..." Dave patted Alvin's shoulder again. "But I know you'll never forgive yourself if you let Eve die without doing all you can to fight for her. You'll also never forgive yourself if you stop fighting for Brittany, and make sure she knows she is not fighting this battle alone. You know I can't stand to see you and Brittany fighting—unless you fight together."

Alvin chuckled with a bit of relief. "Gee, David, how many after-school specials have you been watching to come up with that?"

Dave sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, Alvin, I guess I've just overheard you giving your brothers and the Chipettes enough vague motivating speeches, that some of it was bound to rub off on me." He threw in a wink. "But, hey, if you don't feel like my corny message sank in well enough at this time, I could always come by your school and give it to you during an all-school assembly..."

"NOOO!" Alvin shuddered. "No, no...Davey Dearest, that won't be necessary. Lesson learned! Sheesh! I'd almost rather let the whole school watch me fix Brittany's bra again! Or even let the whole school watch Britt adjusting the wad of extra socks in my..." He glanced up at Dave, who was raising an eyebrow. "Never mind." He grinned sheepishly and tried to get the conversation back on track. "But where do I start in trying to fix things with Brittany? She still hates me."

Dave released a strong enough breath upwards and out of the side of his mouth to blow his bangs like willow tree leaves in the breeze. "Well...I know this may sound off-the-subject at first, but please bear with me. Well, when I was in high school, a bunch of kids in my church group were putting together a week of summer camp for some inner-city kids. At a weekend retreat, we were coming up with things to do during some possible challenging situations with the kids. One of the situations was: how do you get a shy kid to participate in sporting events, when they are too afraid all the other kids will make fun of their lack of athletic ability? And the creative answer that one group came up with was to draw more of that negative attention to yourself so that the other kids are too busy making fun of you to notice the shy kid's lack of athletic ability. Basically, just make yourself look like a bigger idiot to make the kid feel better about himself or herself. The motto for the entire week was pretty much 'nobody is cool at camp' and camp is all about getting the kids to have a good time."

"Huh..." Alvin thought for a moment. "So you're suggesting that when Brittany feels exposed, I should have thought to draw that attention away from her, to help her stay calm. So, maybe I could help her with her embarrassing moment by making myself look like a bigger dork than Brittany tomorrow. Man, upstaging Brittany's awkwardness is gonna be tough..." He looked at Dave and chuckled.

"Alvinnn..." Dave raised an eyebrow.

"OK, sorry, Dave." Alvin shrugged. "It's just no fun to give Brittany a hard time when she isn't here. And I know it's not the time, since her day was already tough enough."

Dave continued brainstorming. "And what if all those new rules to take care of the suck toad—er, Eve—also applied to you, not just Brittany?"

Alvin's eyes widened. "Yikes!" He took a deep breath to calm himself. "But I guess I'm not really helping her by making her eat a salad, while I eat cookies in front of her..." He also noticed that Dave was motioning to his clothing. "And why should Britt dress like a swampy pirate redneck while I'm around her all day, in a bright red shirt?"

Dave chuckled. "I'll find some camo for you. Maybe living under the same rules will help show Brittany that you are in this together. I mean, from what I hear, college kids wanting to join fraternities and sororities will do a week or more of 'pledge week' or 'heck week' like that. It can be a bonding experience. I used to do some of that with my troop when I was in scouts. Sure, it was hard work and challenging, and I'm not in a hurry to do any of it again, but looking back, it made us all closer. I wouldn't have traded it for anything. But I'm also relieved it wasn't any longer than a week."

Alvin sighed and smiled over at his father. "You know, Dave, I spend so much time when my brothers are here, feeling like the left-out kid who has nothing in common with you, or that I'm nothing like you. But in these kinda moments, I guess I learn that we're not as different as I thought we were. So, thanks, Dad."

Dave enveloped his son in a hug. "Sure thing, Alvin. Nothing like these odd and challenging situations to make us all closer. I guess getting you as a son was not a mistake." He even removed Alvin's hat to ruffle his auburn hair. "And I start to understand what Brittany says about you better in these moments, so that I can see you are pretty insightful, and you know how to come through for your friends and do the right thing."

"What was that you just said about Brittany?" Alvin blinked in confusion. "I mean, she can't stand me! Did she actually say something nice about me?"

Dave nodded. "Well, a few months ago, she overheard you standing up for her to some girls who were talking bad about her behind her back. She said that it was even during a time when the two of you were not getting along, and that she was mad at you up until you stood up for her. Let's see...as she put it, you were the 'hero' who came through for her. Without betraying anything she confided in me, let me just say that she doesn't hate you, and she may even admire you at times."

"Are we talking about the same Brittany?" Alvin rolled his eyes. "You know—blue eyes, golden-blonde hair in a ponytail, wears a lot of pink? Brittany Chipette-Miller? 'Cause I think she still might get mail that's addressed to Britney Spears by mistake. I mean, I hear Spears is actually one of my fans. Who isn't?" He shared a chuckle with his father.

Dave shrugged. "But this was several months ago, and she may have changed her mind about all of that by now."

Alvin's eyes widened. "Wait a minute...this wouldn't happen to be the time I accused her of being a body-snatcher, would it?"

"Uhhh..." Dave thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, I do remember that a few days later, you tied me up while I was asleep, interrogated me about aliens or something, and then when I tried to get up I got covered in strawberry jam..."

"Oh, uh, sorry about that misunderstanding, Dave." Alvin chuckled awkwardly. "But I'm glad you were OK, and that your reaction to strawberries was only a temporary mild stomach issue, and not the kind of reaction that will kill you if you touch it. But back to Brittany...whoa..." he slapped his forehead several times with his palm. "Oh man! I thought she was a body-snatcher! And she was really, sincerely being nicer to me because she saw me do something she admired? Now I feel terrible! Although for weeks after that, she would just glare at me and give me the cold-shoulder. No wonder! I think she told Simon and Theodore what was going on, and then they were giving me the cold-shoulder. And they still like to give me a hard time about it to this day! I guess I deserve that..."

Dave gently set Alvin back on the couch so that he could look into his eyes. "You know, son, maybe instead of moping around in regrets about things that happened between you and Brittany in the past, we should try working on some stuff we can do for her to help her right now. In fact, why don't we call her to make sure she's doing OK?"

Alvin started to smile. "Yeah, I am kinda worried about her..." After a brief pause, he blinked, "Uh, Dave, she may still be too mad at me to want to talk to me. Would it be better if you talked to her first?"

"Oh, sure!" Dave stood up and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. "After all, I'm worried about her, too." After a brief pause, he whispered to Alvin, "It's ringing."

"Hello, Brittany?" He started conversing with the phone. "Yes, it's Dave. Listen, Alvin told me about what happened at school today, and...well, I thought I would at least call and see how you're doing. It seemed pretty traumatic for you... I am sorry to hear about all that. Is there anything I can do?" Another pause followed, while Alvin heard some indistinct chatter from the receiving end of the phone. "Well, are you hungry yet? You're welcome to eat supper with us. Or if you don't feel like leaving the Treehouse, I could still make you something, and Alvin could deliver it. He's worried about you, too... Yes, he's in the room with me. Would you like to speak to him, yet?"

Alvin's eyes widened as he watched his father's expression.

"Too soon?" Dave continued. "That's OK. Are you still hurting—physically or emotionally?... How bad is it?... Do you need another ice pack for the bruise on your hip?... Still cramping? I may have an extra microwaveable heat pack, some extra-strength Tylenol, and maybe some simethicone. Julie says pregnant women can still take that, since it doesn't really get absorbed in the bloodstream. Sure, I'll send it over with Alvin... Sorry if seeing him would stress you out. I would go myself if I could fit in the Treehouse. Would you like for me to make him wear a hood or a pillowcase over his face, like an executioner?" Dave chuckled, throwing a wink over to his son. "Oh, speaking of which, did you peel off the suck toad yet?... Oh, you're waiting until morning to see if she gets any better. Alvin told me you may have been on the fence about that, so I thought I would ask... You're doing a mud-bath right now, or just a mud-mask, I see. It seems to be helping a little?... Please continue to keep me posted about this. Oh, yeah, I hope she gets better, and I really hope you get better. No matter what happens to your suck toad, or your midterm grade as a result, just remember that I love you, and you can come talk to me anytime about anything, even the girl stuff. I might have to defer to Julie, Ms Miller, Ms Croner, the school nurse, Principal Meadows, Ms Smith, Counselor Jones, or some other lady at church—like the youth pastor's wife, but you are still like a daughter to me, Brittany, even though we've never made it official..." There was another pause where all Alvin could hear on the other end was indistinct chatter. "Yes, Alvin mentioned that incident. I'm so sorry you went through that... He was pretty embarrassed about it, too. I'm not sure how...accurate the story was from his point of view. He said things could've been worse, but he's still kicking himself for not, how did he say it—doing a better job of 'guarding your blindspot' or being more 'supportive' of you through all this. No pun intended." He slightly chuckled. "I'm sorry about all that, and he probably wants to deliver his own apology himself..."

He glanced over at Alvin, who was pursing his lips in anticipation. All Alvin could hear was indistinct chatter again from Brittany's end of the phone.

Dave continued on the phone. "It's OK, Brittany. I'm not judging you for any of that. I can relate to being a late-bloomer, myself. Or at least feeling like a late-bloomer in some regards, eager for my body to develop..."

At this, Alvin slapped his palm over his face in embarrassment. He had a hunch they were discussing Brittany's habit of stuffing her bra.

Dave glanced at his son and took the cue. "But I guess we can talk more about that in person some other time. I'm gonna try to get a dinner started for you. Meanwhile, I think Alvin has something he wants to say to you..." He handed the phone off to Alvin as he said this.

Alvin cleared his throat. "Uhh, hi, Britt. Uh, listen, I'm really sorry for...well, everything, including Dave's embarrassing speech, if you found that as embarrassing as I did." He released an awkward chuckle. He cleared his throat again. "Look, Britt, I'm sorry if even talking to me is stressing you out right now, since you've probably had more than enough of your dose of 'Vitamin A' to last you all year." He tried to keep it lighthearted.

"You think?" Brittany sighed. Fortunately for Alvin, she didn't sound particularly angrier at him than usual.

"For what it's worth," Alvin began, "Thank you for trying to help save Eve, and for at least giving her an overnight chance. After all, we are in this together, so let me know how I can help."

Brittany sighed. "Easy for you to say, she's not stuck on your face."

Alvin sighed somberly. "I know...I mean, I can't even pretend to understand what you're going through. I have been a selfish jerk to you lately. Gah! I can't even get through an attempt at an apology without just talking about myself. I mean...how are you doing since I last saw you?"

"Thank you for caring enough to ask, Alvin." Brittany stated as though trying to stay calm through emotional pain. "Even though I know you're just asking because you're worried about your grades. But rest assured that your grades are still hanging by the same delicate thread that has been holding them all year. But because you asked nicely about how I'm doing, I'll tell you that I had a short nap, so I feel a little bit better, stomach-wise and cramp-wise. I'm getting a little hungry too, but I'm honestly not looking forward to having more salad shoved down my throat."

"I'm sorry about that too, Britt." Alvin shrugged. "Do you have any requests for any food that Dave and I can put together for you—you know, healthy food that you will eat? I'm sure we can find some middle ground that works for both you and Eve."

"Well..." Brittany seemed to think for a moment. "Eleanor makes a really good green bean casserole, and a peas and carrots soufflé. And she also makes this really good vegetarian version of chicken spaghetti—I think she calls it 'chickpea spaghetti', and she even has a vegan version of it, for when dairy isn't agreeing with me."

"How is dairy treating you now?" Alvin asked her.

Brittany paused for a moment before replying, "Meh. It's been better, but it's been a lot worse in the past."

"Good to know." Alvin nodded. "I'll see what Dave and I can put together for you—we'll even consult Eleanor, or one of her friends from her cooking circle, if we can't get a hold of her. Do you think you can hang tight for another hour or two? I'm not sure how much time we'll need."

"Well..." Brittany shrugged. "I guess I could wrap up this mud-mask, and maybe have time for another one in two hours. Sure. Why not?"

Alvin blinked, "Did you want to talk to Dave again before I hang up?"

"That's OK." Brittany smiled. "Just tell him I'll hang in there for him. Take care!"

"Take care, Britt, and I'll see you soon with some dinner." Alvin winked and threw a thumbs-up toward his dad, who reciprocated from the kitchen. With that, he hung up the phone.

"That sounded a lot better than I expected..." Dave smiled at his son.

Alvin smiled back as he entered the kitchen and handed the phone back to Dave. "I guess so. Kind of a relief." He changed his tone. "Hey, Dave, do you know how to make the same green bean casserole that Eleanor makes?"

Dave thought for a moment. "As a matter of fact, Eleanor and I have exchanged recipes over the years—especially if she finds a really good one that I like. I think she's also shared stuff like—what I heard you and Brittany talking about—like the peas and carrots soufflé, or the chickpea spaghetti—with Ms Miller and Ms Croner. We could probably ask one of them, since Eleanor is at space camp with the other kids, and their camp schedule varies in the evening, and then there's the time difference on the East Coast..."

"Gotcha, Dave." Alvin nodded. "So it would be easier to call Ms Miller or Ms Croner."

"Right." Dave took out his phone again. "I'll try Ms Miller first." He dialed and set the phone next to his ear. "It's ringing..."

A/N: Alvin's zombie video game is like the one that he and Simon play in the Nickelodeon cartoon episode "Bromance". Brittany complains that she hates the color green in the 80s cartoon episode "Cinderella, Cinderella". In the Nickelodeon cartoon episode "Dog Days", Alvin says that Dave will not let them have a pet until they prove they are responsible enough to take care of one. When Dave says he can't stand to see Alvin and Brittany fighting unless it's together, it's paraphrased from a line in the 2007 "Ninja Turtles" CGI movie. Alvin gives vague motivating speeches in episodes like "Saving Simon". Alvin feels like the left-out kid in the episode "Alvin's Wild Weekend". Dave also gives a nod to the episode "Brittany, The Body-Snatcher".

Dave's story about the church group with the inner-city kids is from a personal experience with my own church youth group planning for "Op Camp" (Opportunity Camp, part of "Unlock Ministries", for the same dynamic of kids). Our rules for camp were: nobody's cool at camp, camp is for the kids, and no kid should ever be alone without a counselor, and no counselor should ever be alone without a kid. The counselor:camper ratio was 1:2.