Once again I worked a song into this story. The lyrics are a translation of a German song that I was listening to over and over while writing chapter 6 and this chapter. It set the mood for the chapters so to say. You can find the name of the band and the song at the end of the chapter. Listen to it, you've got the translation now, and feel it and you'll get the feeling for this chapter and the last one. Read it while listening to the song and tell me if it worked for you. ;)

Chapter 7: Silence

You show me, that silence has become your friend now

The few days between their decision to go away together and the day of their departure Dani spent preparing for the trip. Nico hadn't given anything away as to where they were heading and that made packing so much harder. He had let it slip though that they would drive and she knew that any destination that made sense in a driving distance wouldn't be too warm. So she had packed her bikini as well as a few summer dresses and skirts but mainly she had packed jeans and long sleeved pullovers and jackets.

She had also arranged for the kids to live with their father and she had slightly wondered why Ray Jay had been so indescribably happy about it. Something was up and she knew it, but she just didn't have the energy to deal with it at this point. Maybe it was time for Ray to grow up and take care of his kids for once and be more than a partner in crime. Lindsay hadn't been as happy, but in the end she was ok with living with her dad for a few days. Dani hadn't told them where she would go or who she would be with, because she wasn't ready to open that can of worms. She had no idea what went on with her and Nico after the kiss or if something was going on at all. They had just gotten over the shock of their mother dating Matt and they surely didn't need to know that she had kissed Nico. Especially because for them Nico was the creepy security guy who stopped by in the middle of the night and always knew things he shouldn't know. She wasn't even sure if they had met him after he had busted them for selling the merchandise stuff back then.

And they also didn't need to know how nervous she was about this trip. She hadn't slept since the day they had made the arrangement and had had her cell phone in her hands more than once to call him and cancel. Then she always reminded herself of his words that the kiss wouldn't matter and that they would just go away together as friends. Just friends. She just wasn't sure anymore that what she was feeling for him had anything to do with being friends. She had suspected it back when he had obviously had a thing with Vera- she made a mental note to ask him about it when the opportunity arose- and since the kiss those feelings hadn't diminished or vanished. In fact it was quite the opposite. Knowing that he obviously cared about her very much, possibly loved her, didn't help matters. It gave her nervous flutters and daydreams that were far beyond and PG rating. She could admit that she was attracted to Nico, but didn't know how it could be more.

So when Nico pulled into her driveway that Wednesday morning not only did she have way too many bags, but she was nervous and over tired as well. For the first hour she babbled about everything and nothing, including the color of her shoes and the new nail artist who had done her nails while Nico listened and remained silent. When he stopped at the side of the road after an hour, called her name and showed her a roll of duct tape she fell silent immediately- after laughing about his dry sense of humor and with a warm and fuzzy feeling when he smiled as well- and fell asleep shortly afterwards.

Nico looked over at her sleeping form and reached over to gently adjust her head so she wouldn't wake up with an aching neck. He had been surprised when she had agreed to come with him after the kiss. It showed him just how much she trusted him and he felt humbled by it. And he would do everything not to let her down. He wondered what went on in her head and in her heart. He had known for while now that he loved her, but it had shocked him when he had found out recently how much. He had been able to deal with her being with Donnelly by avoiding both of them as much as possible. After all he had practice in living with a broken heart and jealousy, because he had done it for years after Gabrielle had married Marshall. How had Dani put it? He had taken a bullet for Marshall by letting Gabi go. That's why he couldn't risk getting involved with Danielle when he knew that she wasn't sure yet what she felt and who she wanted. As long as Matt was still somewhere in the periphery of her mind he couldn't risk it. For one he wasn't ready to take a bullet for Donnelly. And he also knew that now that Marshall was dead, losing Dani wouldn't be taking a bullet. It would be his kill shot.

For the moment he was content in having her beside him and having the prospect of spending a whole week with her away from everything, even if it was just as friends. Sometimes friends were closer than lovers and in all honesty it was all he could deal with at the moment. He needed to calm down, get over Marshalls death and Juliette's rejection and then get everything in order for the Hawks... only then he would be able to think about a relationship. He needed time and rest and so did she. And that's what they would get.

His mood wasn't a happy one though- the reason why he couldn't deal with Dani's nervous chatter. He felt exhausted and anxious at the same time. He felt like a strange silence and noise had entered his life at once and he didn't know how to deal with them at the same time. Nothing was in order anymore and certainly not how it should be.

He pressed a few buttons and played a song on repeat and a bit louder than the others before. It was a song he had heard two years back in a bar in Berlin, Germany when he had been in Europe. He had ended it with Gabrielle in Paris the night before and then had taken the next flight to Berlin to drown his sorrows there. He knew the city and by chance he had attended the concert of a not so well known band and had bought the CD afterwards. Nico spoke the language well enough to understand the lyrics and they described so well what he was feeling at the moment and the tempo of the song matched his mood.

So silent,*

that each of us knew

this here is forever-

forever and a lifetime.

And it was so silent,

that everyone of us suspected that

there's no word

that can ever describe the feeling.

So silent that all clocks fell silent,

yes, the time came to a halt,

so silent and so lost you went away,

so silent and so lost you went away.

I've heard so much and yet I never understand.

That is the reason why I cannot sleep at night.

Even if I write a thousand songs about missing you,

it does not mean that I understand

why this feeling lasts forever.

So loud, the hours after the impact as it counted.

To grasp and understand it all.

And it was so loud

that every thought brought us nothing but emptiness.

So loud and so lost it was here

when silence lived with us instead of you.

So silent, even though I miss you every day

and wherever you are,

you show me, that silence has become your friend now.

"Mmmh, what song is that?" Dani mumbled two hours into their drive.

"A German one," he replied quietly," Go back to sleep."

"Okay," was all she said and did as he had told her and Nico went back to his thoughts as he drove. He still couldn't believe Marshall was dead. He shook his head and to get the thoughts of Marshall out of his head. Then he looked over at Dani and didn't feel as lost anymore when he saw her next to him. He just really hoped that he could keep himself from becoming weak again where she was concerned. Keeping his distance while still being her friend. It wasn't easy to just sit next to her and watch her sleep when he wanted to touch her hair, stroke her cheek or kiss her awake. Even more so because he knew she would probably let him and smile at him once she opened her eyes. However he never wanted to see regret in them once she had time to think about her actions.

Another two hours later he parked the car in front of the house he had booked for them. It was a white house, not too big and right at the beach. The owner was already waiting for them outside on the porch.

"Mr. Careles?" the older man asked when he got out of the car.

"Yes, you must be Mr. Jones," Nico replied and they shook hands.

"Did you have a save drive?" the owner asked politely.

"Yes, thank you very much. We made it in a bit over four hours," he said and stretched his stiff legs a bit.

"I hope you like the house. If you need anything or have any questions please don't hesitate to call me or my wife any time. You can find the number in the kitchen, pinned to the fridge."

"Thank you," Nico said again and took the offered key.

"Seems like the trip exhausted your wife," Mr. Jones laughed when he saw Dani still sleeping in the car.

"She has a stressful job," Nico said without correcting him. There was simply no reason to.

"Then have a pleasant stay and greet your wife from me," he said before he walked over to his car and drive off again. Nico looked back at Dani and thought about waking her immediately, but decided against it. He would check the house first and then wake her up. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. The door opened to a wide living room held in grey and white. He walked over to the large windows that led out to a patio. Already from the windows he could make out the sea. The living room and the patio looked more liked they belonged to a small Irish cottage and which was exactly why he had rented this house. He threw a quick look into the large kitchen that also had a door out to the patio and checked the fridge to see if they had anything to eat and to drink and then went into the other direction to check the bedrooms. There was one downstairs and when he saw it he knew that Dani would love it. It was bright and homey, with a walk in closet and a large modern bathroom, that had one beautiful bathtub in the middle of the room. Back outside in the hallway he walked back into the living room and took the stairs up to the second bedroom. It was smaller, with a small balcony and its own bathroom. It also had a desk in it and when Nico checked he saw that he had internet connection here. His room.

It was time to wake sleeping beauty and so he walked back outside to the car and gently shook her awake. She blinked a few times before she woke up fully and then looked around her and tried to understand why she was in a car.

"Nico? Why does it smell like the sea?" she asked him and looked up at him. "Where are we?"

"Newport," he let her know and waited until she had unbuckled and then helped her out of the car.

"God, I'm so tired," she said and then yawned widely as she stumbled beside him into the house.

"You can go back to sleep in a second. Your bedroom is on the left side, second door," he let her know and went back out to get the rest of the luggage. Dani was so out of it still that she just walked into the room he had told her, kicked off her shoes and lay down on the bed without brushing her teeth or changing into other clothes. She wasn't hungry or thirsty, she was just tired. When Nico went into her room to bring her her several bags, she was already fast asleep again on top of the covers.

When Dani woke up she was less disoriented and remembered at least walking into the house and going back to sleep. She checked the clock beside her bed and saw that it was five in the afternoon already. When she saw the time she suddenly felt thirsty and hungry at the same time. Also she was curious where exactly she was. She straightened her crumpled shirt and combed with her fingers through her hair before she left her room. It seemed like Nico nearly always saw her when she had just woken up. Usually it was his own fault because nearly always he was the one who woke her up by pounding at her door at ungodly hours.

She walked into the living room and then into the kitchen. It was a beautiful house and she liked it even more when she found the fridge completely stacked with food and drinks. She wondered if Nico had worked his magic once more. She took a bottle of water out and made a plan what to cook before she closed the door again and gulped the small bottle of water down in one go. Pasta with sea fruits and tomato sauce was her choice for dinner and she wondered if Nico would be ok with it. She had no idea where he was but when she walked back into the living room and just wanted to walk outside on the patio she found him lying on the couch, fast asleep.

It wasn't a peaceful slumber like hers had been as his eyes twitched and his face wasn't relaxed at all. He seemed to feel so much anguish that it hurt her just seeing him like this. As quietly as she could she took the blanket from the back of the couch and covered him with it. She expected him to open his eyes and wake up startled and grumpy, but he slept on his fitful sleep. She stood next to the sofa and watched him for a while, but when he flinched in his sleep and mumbled Marshalls name she sat down next to him and gently stroked the errand strands off hair off his forehead. She ran her fingers into his hair like she had done with her children when they had been younger and it seemed to work with Nico as well, as he calmed down in his sleep.

She watched her fingers glide through his hair and wanted to lie down with him, snuggle up to him and sleep until she would wake up in his arms. She pushed the thought away as far as she could, knowing that if she was honest she would feel the same way if Matt was with her. She couldn't understand her own feelings anymore and the only one she could talk to was far away in Barcelona. Why was she suddenly attracted to Nico? Why had the spark that had always been between them ignited? She was still in love with Matt, wasn't she?

She pulled her hand back and decided that it was better not to think about it at that point. Simple tasks and simple thoughts first. Boiling water for the pasta was easy- she could do that. So she went back into the kitchen, but before she went in search for a pot she opened the door out to the patio so the sound of the waves could drown out the silence that surrounded her. She couldn't deal with silence right then.

So silent, that each of us knew this here is forever-forever and a lifetime

TBC

*Original Song 'Still' by 'Jupiter Jones'