A/N: Written for Day 18 of my 25 Days of Westallen Fanfiction event. Enjoy!

Dedicated to: Fowsia/iriswestallens (on tumblr/twitter)

*Many thanks to sendtherain for beta'ing.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 3 -

Thinking back on what he'd been distressed over earlier that morning, he knew now he definitely could've had it worse if he hadn't spent the night with Iris. Today, even with all the embarrassment he felt over not knowing how to process the situation with so much else going on, the spiteful words Harry threw his way during the team meeting told him loud and clear how foul his whole mood could've been if he hadn't had such a great distraction hovering at the forefront of his mind.

If he'd woken up in his own bed that morning after a restless night of sleep, he could've recalled how nearly every morning had been for the past year and a half. Everything done at lightning speed, he would've dressed, eaten, grabbed a coffee, and sped through his case files in a flash. Literally. Before noon he would've been back at STAR Labs to discuss their current predicament. If he had his speed, they might still be on sort of the same level playing field as Zoom. He wouldn't have that holding him down. The threat of Zoom would still loom large, but they'd have a card to play, a tool they could use against him if a fight suddenly arose. They wouldn't be helpless at his mercy.

So, if he hadn't woken up half-naked in Iris' bed, with memories of their night together filtering through his mind, the heaviness of everything surrounding Zoom, an angry Harry and a missing Caitlin would've weighed him down and either helped him focus on work or slowed him down even more than the lack of super speed.

He'd avoided that heaviness earlier, but now he felt it setting in hard. Because they were helpless. Cisco had been able to vibe Caitlin and found her unharmed, but they had no way of rescuing her. He had been the only good speedster they knew. It felt good to hear Iris defend him, given they still hadn't addressed last night's…activities or exchanged phones, but he could hardly refocus on their unspoken issue now. It felt miniscule in the face of everything else.

Despite his lack of speed and memories of sex with Iris messing with his focus in the CSI lab, he had managed to finish all his case files. With Cisco in his workshop doing God knows what and Joe heading back to CCPD, Barry knew Iris would be soon to follow. After all, she had a job she needed to be getting back to. Her life hadn't come to a halt just because his had.

A knock on the doorframe into the med lab interrupted his thoughts, and he looked to see a sympathetic Iris standing there. His mind went blank, not knowing how to react to this new development or even how to form words.

"How are you doing?" she asked, leaning her head against the frame.

He turned in the chair he sat in and tried to make his brain function. The need to seek comfort from her as a friend, push her away even though she was likely only trying to help, or attempt to broach the topic of last night made all his brain cells short circuit. In the end, all he could manage was a half-hearted shrug.

"Yeah," she said, walking into the room and grabbing her own chair to sit in. "Thought so."

She pulled his phone from her pocket and held it out to him.

"I thought you might want this back."

He looked down at it, forced himself to think logically, and took it from her. Then he pulled her phone out of his pocket as well, letting her take it from his hand.

"Sorry about that," he muttered.

"It's okay," she said, shrugging it off. He knew it wasn't, but he wasn't in a good enough headspace to tackle that conversation. "I get it."

He nodded.

"Thanks for uh, telling Joe I needed to 'talk'."

He didn't know how the comment came out, but when he looked into her eyes, he saw they were lit up with good-natured amusement.

"Any time."

He sighed and sank back in his seat, the lightness between them quickly seeping out until he could sense the heaviness settling over her too.

"You don't have to stay here, Iris. I know you have work to get back to."

She shrugged. "I worked all morning. I can call it a day, do the rest of work at home later."

"No, Iris-"

"Okay, okay," she said gently, trying to calm him while also refusing to leave. "I just want you to know I'm here, Barry."

"I know." He nodded.

"Please don't push me away," she said softly.

That seem to jog something inside of him, and he looked up at her, less ready to attack.

"I'm sorry, Iris. It's not that I-"

She leaned forward so her elbows rested on her thighs and folded her arms.

"If you want to forget last night, Barry, we can forget last night. If it's just one more thing that you can't handle right now, we can push it aside until later or forget it entirely." She reached out to grasp his wrist. "What's important to me right now is you."

He didn't know how it was possible to feel the desire to pull her closer and push her away so strongly at the same time, but he did. He looked at her with tears in his eyes, because he didn't know what else to do. He knew when she saw the evidence because she moved from her seat on the chair to one with her knees on the ground and reached up to hug him. He didn't move to return the embrace, but his head fell onto her shoulder, seeking peace. She held him tighter, and he let himself succumb to it. Just a few more moments like this and maybe he could take on the rest of the day.

…

His moment with Iris had helped earlier. She had to go back to work eventually, and he pushed her to go within a half hour of caving to her comfort, but there was no denying her one-on-one presence had helped him. And maybe she was right. Maybe he could push the elephant in the room between them to the side for a while until they figured out a plan to save Caitlin at the very least and then somehow get his speed back too.

But when the alarm had gone off from the STAR Labs van, soon after revealing that Wells had gotten into a crash and been taken, it was all Barry could do not to drown into a pit of despair again. More than anything he wished it wasn't a meta. If it wasn't a meta, the incident could be reported and forwarded to Joe and handled like a routine investigation. Barry knew Joe would make it a priority if he asked. They couldn't do much from STAR Labs, but if he could even be the one making the phone call, he'd feel he was making some kind of contribution to the rescue of their bitter friend, Harry Wells.

Being nowhere near where the van had crashed and not wanting to pull Cisco away from whatever he was doing, he headed out on his own and called Iris on the way, hoping she'd be nearly to STAR Labs by the time he got out the front door.

Well, he'd had to wait a few minutes, which was painful even as a non-speedster, but he couldn't find it in himself to be mad at her when she showed up in her little blue car with another reassuring smile on her face and unlocked the door for him. He climbed inside and quickly explained the situation to her, and soon enough they were on their way.

"Talk to me, Barry," she said when he hadn't said a single word ten minutes later.

It was another twenty minutes until they reached the crash site, so Barry figure he better fill the silence with something, even if it was a request not to talk.

"Nothing to say, Iris." He shrugged, looking out the window, his fingers running along the window ledge on the car door.

He didn't want to come across snappy, but he was feeling the weight of the situation again, and it wasn't exactly reasonable for her to hug him and drive at the same time.

"C'mere," she said, which confused him. She couldn't have possibly read his mind, and yet when he looked over at her, he saw she was holding her hand out to him. Relief washed over him, and he took the invitation.

Repositioning himself so he sat straight in his seat, he rested his arm on the handle ledge in the car door and set his other hand on top of hers, instinctively intertwining their fingers together. Iris squeezed his hand tightly in response and smiled at him when he met her gaze. He smiled a little in response and let her rest their folded hands on top of the closed compartment between the seats as she focused back on the road.

He felt butterflies erupt inside of him from the whole exchange and thought maybe if he just let himself lean on her for support, let her share some of the weight he was trying to hold up all by himself, they could get through this. Then maybe they could see if there was something more.