I am so sorry it once again took me so long to update. But honestly after that stupid reunion with Matt in the finale I just didn't known how to continue. I think I found a way now.

Chapter 11: This much is true

28 days since they had come back and Nico hadn't seen Dani or talked to her, aside from a few short text messages in the beginning. They had stopped after Ray Jay and the lawyer problem when Dani hadn't contacted him since she had told him that everything was taken care of. He hadn't asked her again, and she hadn't made any contact with him afterwards. She was avoiding him- it really was as simple as that. Nico had had his hands full with the arrangements for Marshall Pittman's funeral, and he hoped that Dani would show up and offer him her silent support by simply being there. However, she hadn't shown, and he had dealt with an emotional Juliette on his own.

Dani, meanwhile, felt incredibly guilty and confused about what had happened. She had kissed him, she had led him up the stairs, and she would have slept with him if the phone hadn't rung. However, she was also the one who wasn't sure what, or better whom, she wanted. She had led him on even though he had told her that he wanted to avoid that under any circumstances. He had told her that he loved her, for heaven's sake, and she didn't care enough for him to keep herself from tempting and hurting him. She was a bad friend and a bad person, and she didn't want to hurt him any more than she most likely already had. Also, she didn't want to face him or talk about what had happened, because she was mortified.

When they both had to be back at the facility, Dani was nervous. She knew she had to face him at some point. She missed him and feared him at the same time. Combined with the shame she felt, it made for a combination that caused her to hope she miraculously wouldn't have to face him ever again. However, she had barely entered when a familiar voice called her.

"Dr. Santino," he said, and although the addressing was formal, the slight smile he wore was not. It was still good to see her, and he couldn't help himself. He missed the only true friend he had left.

"Oh, what's up?" Dani stopped dead in her tracks and turned around awkwardly, which didn't go unnoticed by Nico.

"Haven't seen much of you these past few weeks," he pointed out and stepped closer to her which caused her to walk backwards to maintain the distance between them.

"I know, I have been so unbelievably busy," she lied, and of course he knew.

"Have you?" he asked and raised one eyebrow slightly, the smile gone by now.

"Yeah," she insisted, and Nico knew he had to confront her otherwise they would never get anywhere.

"Ok, do we need to talk?" he asked her, a bit uneasy.

Dani looked like a deer in headlights "No," she said immediately and Nico raised both eyebrows slightly. "Not until I know what it is I want to say, and seeing as I don't know what I want to say, then we do not need to talk," she rambled. Nico didn't get the chance to say much more because by then Matt showed up and they both did a horrible job of pretending that there was no problem between them.

After that run in, Nico was once more busy taking care of Juliette and Dani started therapy to find out why she had troubles re-starting her practice. When Dr. Gunner called her on her avoidance of the Nico topic, she was annoyed. Then she lied and lied again. Why couldn't she be honest when it came to that topic?

Nico had called it "Back seating it" and he had asked her several times if they needed to talk, but she had avoided a discussion between them. Dani still didn't know what to say. She had even tried lying to Dr. Gunner, but he had seen right through it, just like Nico.

Dr. Gunner had called her on it; Nico had given up at one point. When they were able to work together again, he thought, it might get better. But Dani didn't get better, she got worse.

"I've been calling you," Nico said while he knocked rapidly on her office door. He needed her help and he hadn't been able to reach her. He had sadly gotten used to her avoiding him, but to shut him out like this even when it was work related was not like her.

"I'm not home," she called out futilely. Nico opened the door anyway, grateful to be able to break through at least the physical wall between them

"Listen, I need your help on..." he stopped when he found her lying on her office floor.

"You ok?" he asked her.

"No, I am not," she replied, and that was the first honest answer she had given in a while. She sat up and when she saw Nico's questioning but helpless, and slightly frustrated look she elaborated. "I don't understand anything right now," she said slowly.

"Understanding is overrated," he shrugged, knowing he couldn't help her sort through her emotions, but could at least help her deal with the turbulence that was threatening to capsize her.

"Not for therapists," she pointed out, and Nico sat down on the armchair, facing her.

"Ok, look," he started and leaned forward, "It's been my view in life to keep things real simple. Anything that can't be explained in four words: not worth thinking about," he told her. Dani looked on the floor, avoided meeting his eyes. "Why did you kiss me?" he asked and that made her look at him. She was at a loss for words, frozen, but Nico gave the answer himself. "Because you needed to. Why did I kiss you? Because I wanted to," he went on with a small smile because of the lost look on her face. She was cute when she was stunned. "What happens next?" he asked and went on answering his own questions, "remains to be seen. Why should you get up and help me with Juliette Pittman? It's what you do," he insisted.

"Nico, I am in no position to," Dani started to protest, but he interrupted her.

"Juliette needs someone to talk to. She hasn't answered my calls; she's frozen me out. She sent me a text, it said 'goodbye'." Dani listened to him and saw how worried he was. Nico needed her, really needed her, and she knew she couldn't let him down again. So she got off the floor and went with him. She helped him to get Juliette away from the cemetery and drove with them to the Hawks.

When Matt caught her and asked her if there was something between her and Nico she wasn't sure how to react at first. The man she loved and whom she still dreamed about was standing in front of her asking her if she was involved with someone else. So she tried deflection first, but it didn't work.

"I am not involved with Nico, Matt," she lied. Well, didn't lie completely, she told herself, because everything that was between them was so unsettled that it could still be dismissed. Afterwards, however, she knew she needed to tell the truth. She had been lying and avoiding for weeks now and she needed to tell the truth for once. At least to one person. That someone turned out to be Dr. Gunner.

"The phone rang, the night of the dalliance," she started her story. "We kissed, me and Nico. We were kissing, we were still kissing, just frantically kissing up the stairs and then the phone rang. The truth is, if that phone hadn't rung then I would have just dragged him up to my bed," she admitted.

"And that scares you?" the doctor asked.

"What scares me is that I am caught between the man that I love, that I cannot have and the man that I am dangerously attracted to, that I shouldn't have. So I am at this crossroads and I can't take either path," she vented.

"Can't you?" her therapist asked and she just shrugged. "Restart your practice, bury your fish and simply embrace the fact that being a therapist doesn't make you immune to being human."

After that talk, Dani was able to reopen her practice and deep down she knew that it was as much thanks to Nico as to her therapist, but she still wasn't sure what to do about him, the man she was dangerously attracted to.

While Nico was again busy keeping Juliette in line, Dani started having sex dreams about him right after she opened her practice. Fantastic, fully satisfying sex dreams with an oddly cinematic bent that nevertheless made it awkward to be around him, as much as she enjoyed them. Before, Matt had sometimes starred in her dreams, but now it was Nico - every time. So, in person she tried to keep it, if not professional, than platonic. She talked to him about her worries when Juliette offered Ray Jay a position and knew that Nico would help her, but other than that she tried to stay away and only met him by chance. But even chance meetings were emotionally charged and fraught with hidden meanings. For instance, one night she wanted to check on Ray Jay and found Nico still at the facility.

"You're here kind of late. And dressed to rock," he said with a smile when he saw her. It was dark, they were alone, and he was happy to see her. He couldn't keep himself from smiling.

"I was at a concert," she replied and smiled as well. "And Ray Jay texted me, said that he was working late and I was curious," she admitted and stopped being flirty when she talked about her son.

"He is working late," Nico confirmed.

"So, I don't have anything to worry about?" she asked.

"I didn't say that," he shook his head with the same smile, still drinking her in with his eyes. "He has a crush on her," he told her and looked at her in a way that she knew there was a lot of subtext in the way he said it.

"But does she have a crush on him back?" she asked, knowing they were not only talking about her son and Juliette. What was Nico thinking about her feelings?

"Only in his dreams," he said wistfully and the smile became sad.

"As long as they stay there," she smiled at him, relieved that he didn't seem to mind that he thought she wasn't really having feelings for that went beyond friendship. She held his eyes for a long moment and smiled at him. When he smiled back she felt the flutters again, but then decided to walk away. She felt his eyes on her all the way to the car and then drove away.

When Matt came out and asked him if anything was going on, Nico told him the truth- or what he believed to be the truth. He had lost. Dani was only his friend and would never be his girlfriend.

"Nothing is going on between Dani and me," he said and smiled his eyes still on the spot where she had just stood. He was used to being in love with someone he couldn't have. Nothing new was going on.

Again, they tried to keep a certain distance and it lasted another two weeks. Dani because she still refused to talk and Nico because he didn't want to hurt were polite during this time, but didn't really talk or text until Dani decided she needed to find the love of her mother's life. When she first approached him, Nico thought this was about Matt and the reporter.

"You want me to put a tail on Noelle?" Nico couldn't keep himself from making a snide remark, but Dani didn't seem to mind too much, almost as if she didn't mind that Donnally was seeing the reporter. So, he let his men dig up information, and in the end he had to tell her that the man in question was already deceased.

"I think I need a drink," Dani said once she had found her voice again. "You want one, too?" she asked him, her eyes begging him to come with her.

"Yes, I could use one as well," he nodded. He hadn't gone out for weeks and he hadn't talked to anyone outside of work for weeks. Marshall was dead, and Dani was avoiding him, and Onyx wasn't a great conversationalist. He missed having someone to talk to who spoke human. Hell, he missed her.

"Ben's?" she asked, referring to the bar that was just around the corner.

"Sure, it's late enough already," Nico shrugged. "I just need to stop by my office and get my car keys," he said, because he didn't want to come back afterwards.

"Ok, I'll just wait here," Dani replied and leaned her back against the glass wall. Nico nodded silently and then hurried off to his office. Dani stared blankly ahead while he was gone and contemplated the new developments. She was glad her mother didn't know that she had searched for the man, so she wouldn't have to tell her that he was dead. Dani couldn't imagine losing the love of her life permanently. Of course, that begged the question: who was the love of her life? Had Ray been the love of her life? She had been devastated when she had found out he had been cheating on her, but at the same time it had never crossed her mind to give him another chance, that she couldn't do just fine without him. Thinking about growing old with him now seemed odd and she even wondered why they had been married for as long as they had been. There hadn't really been any passion left. It had been comfortable, but was that love?

The next candidate for the title was Matt. Could he be the love of her life? Yes, she loved him and when they had been together it had been crazy and passionate. But would he be the guy to live with? Wasn't the obstacle with the kids enough of a wink from the universe to tell her that they weren't meant to be?

And then there was Nico. And, she told herself firmly, it wasn't a good thing that his name even came up in her head when she thought about something as monumental as the love of her life.

"Ready?" the man in question interrupted her thoughts when he came around the corner.

"Sure," she smiled a little too brightly and followed him out of the building.

"I can't believe that Ed Marconi is dead," Dani said as she sat next to Nico on the bar, their drinks in front of them.

"They buried him last year. Cancer. Left two kids, five grandkids. What are you gonna tell her?" Nico asked.

"Nothing," Dani admitted, knowing that now one of her lies would come to light.

"But,isn't she gonna wonder what your search amounted to?" he wondered but suspicions were already cropping up.

"Not so much."

"Your mother didn't know you were doing this," he summed it up without her having to admit anything. He just knew. She looked guilty, but he couldn't help but smile as she was becoming as secretive as he was. "That's interesting," he said as the smile became a grin.

"You sound like my therapist," she complained.

"You're in therapy?" This time she had really managed to surprise him.

"Aren't you?" she asked right back and all he did in reply was look at her with a grin and a 'yeah, right'-look on his face. "I kid," she grinned then, knowing that he would never go to a therapist- not that he didn't need one. But he had too many secrets to keep and too many things he couldn't talk about. Also, he didn't trust anyone.

"So you went on a search for your mother's old flame because...?" Nico wanted her to elaborate. He was curious about her motives. He was trying to gauge where she was emotionally. And, he had just plain missed talking to her. Dani looked down to her glass.

"Do you ever have any regrets?" she asked him and then looked up and right at him as she added, "about Gabrielle?"

He looked back at her with a serious look on his face and thought for a second about what to say. He wasn't sure what the best answer was here, because he wasn't sure what she was searching for. In the end he decided to just go with the truth. "Sometimes," Nico said with a tiny smile. "But that ship's sailed, a long time ago."

"How do you know when a ship has sailed?" Dani wanted to know, and he got the feeling that she wasn't asking because of her mother.

"When it's so far out the sea you would drown trying to catch up to it," he replied. Dani nodded silently and thought about what he had just said. Could she still see Matt? Or was he already too far out and she would drown? She took another sip of her drink and then looked sideways as Nico, who was leaning on the bar, drink in hand and watched the liquid as he swirled it in the glass. She could still see him, he was right here next to her, she thought, and cocked her head to the side without realizing it.

Nico felt her eyes on him and turned his head slowly. She didn't look away and when he looked her in the eyes he felt his heart stop for a second. Was he imagining it or was there really tenderness, longing and… love in her eyes? He wanted to lean in and pull her against him, but he knew that was a bad idea. She was most likely thinking about Donally. With a quiet sigh, he turned his head back around broke the connection and then downed then rest of his drink.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked her once he had swallowed.

"Huh?" She was still lost in thought.

"Your drink. You ready to go?" he asked and pointed to her glass.

"You've got somewhere you need to be?" she asked him, confused. Before, it had sounded like he was glad to be done working for the day and now he was suddenly hurrying her.

"Yes," he nodded without telling her that where he needed to be so urgently all of a sudden was away from the ache in his chest that choke him. Dani just gulped the rest while Nico dug out some money and paid their drinks. He didn't even walk her back to the Hawks facility, but left her alone in the dark parking lot, after looking around and making sure that there was no immediate danger. As much as he had wanted to go for a drink with his old friend Dani and talk to her, he knew now why he hadn't done that in a while. It hurt too much seeing the feelings for another man in her eyes.

When Dani talked to Dr. Gunner the next time she was still thinking about the what-ifs of losing the love of your life or missing the chance with him. At one point during the session, she snapped, got off the couch, paced, and finally didn't hold back anymore. She had put herself out there and she got hurt, but was that really a reason to NOT go after something she really wanted? Of course not. She wanted a chance with the love of her life and if that meant having his kids and changing her plans, then so be it.

"I wouldn't trade playing outside for anything," she summed up her speech and then looked at her therapist. What was he thinking about it? She hadn't used any names during her rant, but didn't he agree that Matt was the love of her life and if she could only get him back if she agreed to have more kids then that wasn't such a big thing to agree to, right?

"You said it all," her therapist just shrugged and left it at that. It looked like she had finally understood what was good for her.

When she talked to Matt though, he rejected her angrily. He was seeing someone else, and he was finally moving on, and she had no right to destroy that for him. It stung that he said it, but she was able to pick herself up rather quickly and focus on more important things at hand, for example her new client, TK, and her son who seemed to have lost his mind and wanted to run off to Paris with Juliette Pittman.

Nico was helping her again at work with Rex and TK, always lurking somewhere in the shadows. It didn't scare her knowing that he was around, instead it made her feel safe.

They still bickered and argued, but Nico was the only one who could keep her in line when she wanted to leave the house while all reporters where camped outside, waiting for a player to show up so they could identify who the gay player was.

They were sitting in her dark living room when the question of Mark Cuban's legal interference had come up.

"He has agreed to sell back his stake at the Hawks, at a reasonable price," Nico told her the news. Dani was surprised and told him so. It wasn't like Mark Cuban to just give up like that.

"Mmh," Nico nodded and grinned in a way that let her know there was more to it.

"What's he getting out of it?" she wanted to know.

"Me," Nico just replied, the same smile still on his face. Dani was so shocked she couldn't even react.

"He's offered me a job and an obscene amount of money. In Dallas," he went on.

"Wow Dallas," Dani said and tried to smile, but didn't succeed. She felt like crying, not like smiling. "So are you gonna… are you gonna take it?" she stuttered and hoped that he would tell her no. He couldn't leave.

"Considering," he shrugged with a somewhat smug look on his face. But he quickly sobered and considered her intently with that look again, the look that made her blush and tingle all over. "Not sure what's left for me here." Dani held his look this time. She hoped her eyes would speak for her while she still couldn't. She didn't know what to say. In her head, was only one voice and it screamed "NO!" loud and clear. She couldn't scream, though. She could only hope. Maybe she could beg him if she got real desperate. Then his cell phone buzzed and after glancing down at the text, Nico spoke again. He was so calm, nonchalant even when her world felt like it was crumbling that she wanted to scream or hurl a zebra-print pillow at his head. "Oh, Xeno says they're gone, the reporters". He got up and walked away from her. With the coast clear, he was obviously going to leave, and she felt a sudden panic rise inside of her

"Nico!" she called when he reached the door to the kitchen.

"Yeah?" he turned around to face her.

"The team will miss you," was the best she could come up with. Her voice was weak, and she was close to tears. When the words left her mouth, she already knew that it wasn't enough. It wasn't what he needed to hear. He gave her a look that showed some amusement as if he wanted to say "Really? That's the best you can do?!"

"Not enough to stop me from going," he replied and saw the helplessness on her face. She still wasn't ready. Or she still wasn't feeling anything for him. Either way, it wasn't enough.

Nico smiled sadly when she just stared at him and remained silent, then pointed up. "You can turn on the lights." As he left, Dani was completely overwhelmed and lost. Nico just couldn't go! If he left… she wasn't ready to deal with that thought. Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd stay. The team needed him. She couldn't consider anything else.

When Matt asked Dani out and kissed her right after the game was over, Nico knew that this was a final hint from the universe, telling him to let go of the fantasy that she had any interest in him. He would leave for Dallas, build a new life there and forget about her. He watched the press conference from the end of the room, his focus more on Dani and Matt and the looks they shared than on Rex and his declaration. Dani seemed happy and smiled brightly. She didn't need him, didn't even notice that he wasn't standing beside them during the conference. She hadn't asked him to stay again, hadn't even asked if he was taking the job. She had Matt now, and although it hurt, he finally came to the conclusion once and for all that Danielle Santino had no feelings whatsoever for him, Nico Careless. She might have been confused and maybe sexually frustrated, but she never loved him, possibly had not even cared for him any more than for any other co-worker. She had a big heart, and he had confused her friendliness with feelings that never existed. So he left, walked to his car and threw away his parking pass. He looked at the stadium, knowing that he hadn't even said goodbye to anyone. When would she realize that he was gone, he wondered before squashing that train of thought. It would get him nowhere, and he would never know.

Just when he turned around and went to leave, he was stopped by two Feds who needed to talk to him.

Dani opened her eyes again, blinked into the dark and searched with one hand for her cell phone that she knew must be somewhere next to her on top of the covers. When she found it, she switched it on and checked the screen for the twentieth time these last two hours, already knowing that there was no new message. She had the volume turned up to the max and would wake up for sure if it rang. It didn't though. Just like it had remained silent for the last three days, at least when it came to messages from the man she so was desperately trying to reach.

After Ray Jay had left and while Matt was still with her, Dani had tried to call Nico. She hadn't seen since the press conference and had started to worry. The uneasy feeling had become stronger when she hadn't been able to reach him and he hadn't called back. At first, she had told herself that he was busy setting up his new life and adjusting to his new job. But after yet another unanswered text message and no call back from him, she became worried. The feeling had intensified tenfold when she and Matt had ended things because of Noelle's pregnancy. She knew it was her own loneliness feeding the worry, but that didn't stop the tears at night when she was plagued by the idea that something had happened to him.

So, here she was two weeks after he had left and was waiting once again for a reply to her last text messagee. A reply that she knew wouldn't come. The screen showed the screen saver, but no new message. Dani closed her eyes again and wiped away the tear that escaped her eye. Either something had happened to Nico or he was ignoring her. Emotionally, she wasn't stable enough to deal with either of those two possibilities.

Nico plopped down on his bed with a heavy sigh and buried his face in his hands for a moment. The mewing sound made him look up.

"Hey, Onyx," he greeted his furry friend who rubbed his head against his leg, marking him as feline property. The cat hopped up onto the bed, and Nico lay down beside him, his feet dangling off the bed as he still wore his shoes. He didn't care that his suit would get wrinkled; he just needed to relax for a moment. When the FBI had hired him as a confidential informant and arranged for him to impress Connor and thus win a job there, he had struggled to gain the trust of the V3 leaders Connor and Sam without compromising himself. Nico never lied, but doing that while pretending to be loyal to someone you didn't know was hard. The FBI had made him an offer he couldn't refuse, and as a result, he had stayed in New York and had started a new job. Sometimes, late at night, when he had a problem that needed pondering, he found himself driving in direction of Dani's house only to turn around half way. Tonight had been one of those nights. He didn't fool himself; he knew he still wasn't over her even after 5 months without her. He wished he could call her, talk to her or see her, but he knew that it would just fuel his hopes in vain. She had texted him, some nights up to fifteen times. He had been awake and read the texts, all of them. It had been hard not to answer and he had switched off his phone one night when she had sounded so worried and desperate and he was vulnerable enough to dial her number. He hadn't pressed send though. He knew that her relationship with Donally had once again failed, and he also knew why. Xeno was still working security for the Hawks, and so he was still in the loop about what was going on.

Nico startled from his musings when Onyx rubbed his head against his head and started to purr. It was nice to know that at least someone appreciated him and didn't only pick him as a rebound guy.

176 days, it had been 176 days since Dani and Nico had last seen or talked to each other.

For a few blissful days, Dani had thought she had made the right decision when she had taken Matt back. There was always this nagging feeling that something wasn't right but she thought it was her bad conscience reminding her that she was the reason Nico had left. She didn't allow herself to dwell on it, though, because she knew she should be happy to have Matt back. Then, however, it turned out that Matt had gotten the reporter pregnant, and he broke up with her and married his baby momma faster than Dani could blink. What surprised her most about it was that she wasn't as sad as she should be. Instead, she lay awake at night and wondered where Nico was and why he wasn't at least staying in touch. In time she realized that she spent more time worrying and crying about Nico than Matt.

From the first moment, Nico hadn't been sure if it was a good idea to ask Dani for help. Everything in him balked at calling her, but in the end, he didn't really have a choice. She was the best, and he needed the best to get the job done and keep his cover. He didn't want her involved in this whole mess that was V3, and he didn't want her around him when he knew he once again couldn't pursue anything with her. Being near her was an impossible dichotomy of stabbing pain and soothing balm. How he had missed her. At times, he cursed his job and the ramifications that came with it. If Dani would be a less meddlesome woman, he maybe would have tried talking to her, but then again he would never want to change her. He loved her like she was, still did.

"I believe I owe you a phone call," was the all that Nico said to her after all this time, and it made her furious. He had left her. He had broken all of his promises of being there and her not being alone; he had forgotten their friendship and had just left her. And all he said was that he owed her phone call? If she was honest, the rage had been building ever since she had found out why he had called her asking for her help. If he had been in a hospital somewhere or something else equally bad had happened to him…she probably still would have been furious with him over the radio silence, but this was unnacceptable. Asking her for a professional favor and then not showing up. Dani was beyond mad. So she slapped him.

"And I believe I owe you this," she said and her hand connected with his cheek. It didn't even occur to her that it was surprising she managed to do so. Nico had battle-honed reflexes, and everyone else would have picked up that he was either too surprised to react or that he actually let her slap him, but Dani didn't. She was in full Santino mode, and she was too furious to think straight.

"Last I know, you're going to Dallas to work for Mark Cuban. You don't say goodbye to me, you don't answer my calls, you don't answer my texts you just vanish down some Nico rabbit hole and then you pop up like a freaking jack-in-a-box asking for my help and for a patient?!" Nico let her rant. He was surprised at first just how mad she was. He didn't think she cared that much. Then he became amused. She hadn't changed a bit, and it felt good to see her again.

When she was done, he reminded himself again that he had to keep his distance- now more than ever. It hurt him to hear just how worried she had been, but he had to hide it. Now was his chance to push her away and cut the last connection they had. It was better that he hurt her a bit now and maybe angered her more, than if he had to hurt her really badly later. Just one patient and she would be gone again. He could use the time to alienate her in a way that he would never have the option of calling her again. So he couldn't be tempted anymore like he had been for the last six months.

"I apologize for falling out of touch," he said politely and knew that it would hurt her and make her even madder.

"Where the hell have you been?" she asked and sounded less mad but more vulnerable. It made him want to hug her, but he knew he couldn't.

"Here," he replied and looked up to his office. He had been right here, not too far away from her and still he hadn't called her back. Actually, he had avoided her.

"You work here? Explain that," she requested and wanted an explanation for him working at V3 as well as for not seeing her when he was in town this whole time.

Nico avoided answering "It's complicated".

"Yeah, let me repeat myself," she said, her voice rising a bit and the anger and hurt back in her eyes. "I thought you were dead!" she spat. " I spent months worrying about you, losing sleep over you and now I come to find that you're just... you're here, working in New York, security," she said, and Nico could only nod. If she just had chosen him instead of Matt back then. If she only loved him as she loved Matt, then he would have never gone away. She had made her choice, and she had hurt him in the process, and now she made it sound like he didn't care about her. "You really know how to torture people, don't ya?," she added and made him feel guilty, even though the reply "right back at you" popped up like a red flag in his head.

"Connor wanted me to make an introduction, so I did," he said and apologized more for showing up in her life again. If he had a choice, he wouldn't have seen her again. It just hurt too much. "I heard it wasn't working out over at the Hawks," he added and made it clear that he knew that Donnally had left her and not the other way round. "I'm sorry."

"I bet you're sorry," she replied sarcastically and sounded hurt. He had succeeded, but it was a hollow victory. He was relieved he could leave when his cell phone rang. After six months he still was far from over her.

Nico's plan to alienate her as much as possible didn't last too long. Having her back around him pushing into his personal life by asking him questions and then calling him on his "Nico" behavior- it broke his walls down. He couldn't hurt her and keep her at arm's length constantly, it hurt him in the process. So when she asked for his help to find the missing piece concerning her client, he had to tell her.

"Dani," he called out when she wanted to walk away from him after he had told her he would help her, "if I told you it was for personal reasons, not going to Dallas, could you accept that?" he asked her, needing her to forgive him for just a second.

"If I have to," she agreed after looking him in the eyes for a moment. She wouldn't get more out of him she knew, that was all he could give her. But at least that much was true.

"For the record: I never meant to hurt you," he added and couldn't keep the longing out of his eyes.

"Ditto," was all she said, slightly nervous. She had dreamed of these intense looks, but hadn't been around them for far too long. She could feel his eyes on her when she walked away. What she didn't see was the deep breath Nico took when she left. He didn't know how to get out of this situation. He loved her, but he couldn't have her, even if she would love him back, which she still didn't seem to know. Her perfume messed with his ability to think, and so he walked away from the spot they had just been standing at.

His walls were down again. However, just until he saw Matt at her place when he showed up with the police report. Then they were back in place and his decision to push her away stronger than before.

So when Dani took the job Connor offered her, Nico knew he would be in trouble, and Dani as well. He couldn't push her back out of his life, and he couldn't tell her why she should stay away from V3.

"We have a problem," he told the FBI on the phone while Dani was greeted as the new employee. There was no way anyone could control Danielle Santino. So he either pushed her away and tried to scare her away, or he would make her trust him again so she would listen to him when it would become necessary. Both options would rip his heart apart eventually. That much was true as well.

TBC